The clamps on my nipples kept me from putting my head on the bed, but I let it hang forward, gave myself over to the sensations coursing through me, focused on them rather than anything else. The term 'sub-space' was used in the BDSM world to describe the place a Sub went to in their head during a session. I didn't know if that was exactly what happened to me, but I didn't care about the name. What I cared about was the feeling of freedom that came with it.
“Such a pretty pink color,” Tanner murmured.
I flinched as his hand caressed my skin. Sensitive and hot, I knew I'd be feeling it the rest of the day, maybe even tomorrow too.
“I'm not done,” he continued. “Do you remember what happened next?”
I did remember, but only a split second before the crop came down on my pussy. I screamed, vaguely thankful that Tanner had soundproofed this room. I twisted, pulling against my restraints. It was pointless, I knew. Closing my legs or putting my hands on my throbbing skin wouldn't make me feel better, but I still wanted to do it.
“One more,” Tanner said.
I tried not to tense, but it didn't work. My body was already anticipating the pain to come. And then it was there, bright and hot. Tears ran down my cheeks as I gasped for air.
Then something soft and wet was moving over my tender skin, and I remembered what else Alan had done last night. He'd given Melanie far more cracks with the crop than I'd received, but once he'd finished, he'd gone down on her, soothing her with his tongue. Tanner did that now, licking and teasing every inch of me before sliding his tongue inside me.
My head fell forward as pleasure mixed with pain. The movement jarred the clamps and I jerked involuntarily. I felt Tanner chuckle, but it was impossible to be annoyed at him when he started doing wonderful things to my clit with his tongue and lips.
I was nearing the edge of what was sure to be a great orgasm when he suddenly stopped. I swore and he laughed, but there was no malice behind either sound. Then I heard the sound of a zipper and nearly sighed with relief.
Hands slid over my hips and down my sides. I whimpered as he played with the clamps, pulling and twisting them until I was sobbing, begging. I wasn't sure exactly what I wanted him to do, only that the tension inside me had built to a breaking point and if I didn't get some sort of release, and soon, I was going to shatter.
Suddenly, the pressure was gone and his hands were on my hips again. Even as the blood started to rush back into my nipples, sending pins and needles of pain through me, he drove forward and buried himself inside me with one thrust.
Everything went white and time stopped for one delicious moment. I wasn't thinking, wasn't even really feeling. I just was.
And then I slammed back into my body, felt every thrust, every place where my skin had been touched. Heat and pleasure mingled, turning pain into something else, that familiar sensation that was somehow more and less than anything else. I fell into it, letting my mind blank, my body move and writhe however it wanted. No coherent thinking, just that primal need and urge that drove two people together.
I rode it even as Tanner rode me. I was aware he was there, of course, could feel every inch of his thick cock stretching me. I could feel his hands on me, feel all of the things he'd done. But a part of me was still alone as I let go. I trusted him, knew he'd never take things too far. He was safe.
I wrapped myself up in that thought even as I came again. I sagged against the bed, making some sort of sound when my sensitive nipples came in contact with the sheets. Then Tanner was coming too, and I felt him go inside me. Again, familiar and safe.
He slumped over me for a minute, pressing his lips to the back of my neck, my shoulder. Then he was up, pulling out, and working on releasing me. I didn't try to help or move. I knew he'd take care of all of it.
He was familiar and safe. He understood me. Knew what I needed and always got me there. He was constant and reliable, things that most people usually didn't associate with the S&M world, but he was those things. I could always count on him. And I loved him.
But...
I didn't let the thought process go through to a conclusion, but I couldn't help feeling that there was something missing, that there was still some part of me he couldn't quite reach.
I didn't know if he felt the same way, but I didn't want to ask. Didn't want to risk losing what I had. Didn't want to hurt him. I couldn't make him feel like he wasn't enough simply because something in me was broken or defective or whatever.
So I said nothing as he cleaned me up and put me under the covers. I said nothing as he climbed in behind me and wrapped his arms around me, letting me take my time coming down, giving me – always – what I needed.
Chapter Eight
Xavier
I managed to run myself exhausted and elected to spend another day in the hotel instead of going back to the base. Zed and I usually checked in with each other while we were on leave, sort of a buddy system kind of thing. He was still with Nance's roommate and based on the short text I got back in response, they weren't going anywhere anytime soon.
I didn't go anywhere either. I just laid in bed and watched television. There were plenty of good movies I hadn't seen.
Well, there were movies in general. I wasn't sure if I'd call them good or not.
I spent all of Sunday night tossing and turning until I finally got fed up. I dressed and headed back out. I wandered around the city as the sun came up and wondered what the hell I was going to do. Most soldiers liked to use their leave to either visit family or get wasted and fuck.
I'd already gotten laid, and I probably could've found another willing partner or two...for a moment, the thought distracted me. I mean, there were very few red-blooded men who could say that the idea of a threesome with two gorgeous women wasn't distracting, at least for a couple minutes.
I passed by a tequila bar, but I didn't think spending the day hammered was the best way to go. I'd heard some of the guys planning to go to one of the amusement parks, but I'd never been a big fan of crowds, and I considered my job more than enough when it came to adrenaline.
Then I heard something else. Music. And not just any music. Jazz music. Good jazz.
I stopped and hefted my bag higher onto my shoulder. It wasn't that I didn't have access to music in the barracks, but it had been a long time since I'd been able to hear it live. Most of the guys I spent time with were like Zed and liked rock, or they were like the good old boy who'd been talking to me a couple days ago and leaned toward the country side of things. I liked both well enough, more than some other genres, more than silence, but I'd always been partial to jazz.
And there was just something about hearing it live.
I headed for the sound. I didn't have anything else to do today and getting to listen to music seemed like a good way to spend my time.
* * *
I had to admit, there was something to be said for relaxing while listening to sounds that moved your soul. I'd enjoyed the drinks I'd had the other night, and I'd definitely enjoyed the sex, but this was absolutely the highlight of my leave so far.
I found myself walking again, walking and thinking about the piano, the trumpet, the way all of the instruments had come together to form that smooth, melodious sound I loved. I played the notes over in my head, trying to commit them all to memory as I walked down the sidewalk. I was only vaguely aware of where I was, registering everything on that subconscious level that all soldiers and people in similar jobs had. Scanning for threats, watching out for any potential problems.
Then something registered.
The thin, acrid scent of smoke.
I blinked, looking around even as my instincts kicked in. Something wasn't right. I could feel it, sense it.
I heard a scream a few seconds before I found the smoke spiraling into the sky. I couldn't understand what anyone was saying, but I didn't need to. I knew that something bad was going on, and I did the only thing I could.
I ran toward it.
At some poin
t during my walk, I'd moved into a part of the city with warehouses and empty factories, and it was a warehouse I was running toward. A warehouse with smoke now billowing from open windows, flames shooting into the sky.
Fuck.
I listened for the sirens, looked for the lights, but I didn't hear anything, see anything. Nothing but the people who were all standing around the warehouse and watching it burn.
I skidded to a stop a few feet away, felt the heat on my face as I listened, tried to hear over the roar of the flames and the chatter of the crowd. My gut clenched as I heard it.
The sound of a child crying.
Fuck.
This was probably the stupidest thing I could do, but I knew I didn't have a choice. In my head, it was my mother, my sister. I hadn't been able to save them, but there was a chance I could save whoever was inside that building. Even if it was unlikely, I had to try.
I ran for the door, disregarding the people who were yelling at me that it was too hot, too dangerous. I ignored them. I was in places that were too dangerous all the time. The only difference was that, this time, I was in the States instead of overseas.
That didn't matter though. I'd sworn to protect the citizens of this country. If that meant from a burning building, then so be it.
I took a deep breath of fresh air just before jumping through the doorway. I crouched down, squinting against the smoke. My eyes began to water almost immediately, and I blinked rapidly, preferring to have the tears running down my face to clouding my vision. It took me a moment to get my bearings, and I knew that every second counted.
Then I heard it again, the child. I started to move towards the sound, trying to keep my breathing as shallow as possible. I was going to start coughing in a moment.
“Shit!” I swore as something hot and burning landed on my arm. I slapped at it, but not before it singed the hair.
I coughed as soon as I inhaled and I felt my lungs starting to burn. And I couldn't hear the kid anymore.
“Hey!” I shouted, then coughed. “Hey!”
For a moment, I was afraid he'd passed out, that I'd never find him or her in this huge place. Then I heard a weak banging, as if whoever it was couldn't get enough air to speak. It didn't matter. I could hear.
I followed the sound around the corner and saw a small lump on the floor. I rushed over and grabbed it. I didn't bother checking to see if it was a boy or a girl, or even if they were still alive. All that could wait until we got back outside.
As I turned, I saw another figure on the floor. A bigger one. Adult-sized. The hair looked short, but aside from that, I couldn't tell anything, not even if it was a man or a woman. It didn't matter. The kid had to come first.
I ran back toward the door, trusting my memory more than my sight to get me where I needed to go. More debris was falling and I couldn't brush it off now, not with my arms full. I winced, but I kept going.
I burst through the doorway out into the cool spring air. I sucked in a breath, gagged and hacked. Someone reached for the kid and I let go, bending over for a moment as I spit out something nasty.
“Fire...men?” I gasped. I tried scrubbing at my burning eyes, but it didn't help me see any better.
“On their way.” A male voice came from my right.
“Another...person.” I was still spitting out all sorts of shit, and my chest was burning, but I wasn't going to let someone die.
“It's too late, man,” the guy said.
I straightened. It was too bright out here after having been in the smoky dark and I couldn't see more than an outline. He was a big guy, burly. I wasn't sure who I'd handed off the child to, but this guy wasn't holding anyone.
I looked at him, then looked at the warehouse. I could hear the sirens now and knew the firemen would be here in a moment. I could see the blurry outline of an ambulance and knew they were taking care of the kid. But no one was getting the guy still left inside.
Now that I had my breath back, I didn't hesitate. If I waited for the firemen, the guy in there would be dead, if he wasn't already. If he was, I'd at least tried. I just didn't have it in me to leave a man behind.
I ran back into the smoke and flame.
It was worse now. Pieces of the ceiling were falling down, bouncing off my shoulders and head. Between the smoke and the tears, I couldn't see anything, but I remembered the way. Except now there was shit all over the floor and I kept stumbling, tripping over things.
I should have been there. I'd gone far enough.
I was still thinking that when I heard a hollow sound.
My ears popped.
I was moving through the air.
Pain.
Then, mercifully, everything went black.
Chapter Nine
Nori
The weather was already warm when I went out for a jog. I'd come back home last night, needing a real night's sleep before going in for third shift. I'd had that. Now I needed to work out a few kinks.
My face flushed at the memories of my weekend.
Other kinks.
I wasn't a fan of running, but a slow, easy jog was a good way to stretch out my stiff muscles. I didn't go far, but I didn't need to. When I came around the block, I slowed to a walk and went back upstairs. A long, hot shower and a good meal went a long way to finishing out what I needed to relax.
I drove in rather than taking the bus as I sometimes did. When I worked late, it was usually a toss-up as to whether or not I preferred to drive tired, or ride when there might be some less than scrupulous people riding. Tonight, however, I wanted to drive because I was going a bit early.
One of my friends worked in the ER and wanted me to come by at the beginning of her shift to talk to me about a refrigerator my mom was selling. I hadn't had a chance to talk to Jensine since she'd come off maternity leave anyway, and I was looking forward to seeing pictures of the new baby.
As I was walking into the ER, however, all hell broke loose.
Six ambulances pulled up and started rolling in victims of a five car pile-up. Right behind them were three from a warehouse fire. When I heard that, I started to walk faster, trying to catch up to the last gurney. These three would be heading my way. Then I heard the paramedic giving the doctor the essentials, and my heart skipped a beat.
“Twenty-eight-year-old white male. Badly burned. Broken bones. Smoke inhalation. His vitals are thready. ID says he's Sergeant Xavier Hammond. Stationed at Fort Sam...”
My chest tightened as the rest of the words faded away.
Fuck.
The bloody and burned body on the gurney in front of me belonged to a soldier.
The memories hit me hard and fast, fragmented and sharp.
Sandy brown hair buzzed short.
Dark green eyes sparkling proudly.
The announcement that he'd enlisted in the army.
Pride and fear.
His arms around me as he told me goodbye.
The call that he was being shipped out.
The call that he was coming home.
All of it came at me in seconds, each image taking only a fraction of time. Then someone ran into my shoulder and my world snapped back into place. The gurney with the soldier was two steps ahead of me now. I tossed my purse toward the front desk and hoped that the clerk on duty recognized me. If not, I'd deal with it later. It was chaos in here and I could hear doctors and nurses shouting orders. There weren't enough of them, not with this sudden influx of patients.
I jogged after the gurney and followed it into the room. I'd done a rotation down here back when I'd first started and the layout looked the same. A quick look around told me that they were going to be short-handed in here. I immediately spotted the doctor and breathed a sigh of relief that it was one I knew.
“Dr. Furia,” I called as she walked in.
“Nori?”
“Can I help?” I didn't bother with explanations. There was no time.
I could see the hesitation and knew that it wasn't because Dr. Furia didn
't trust me. Unless specifically scheduled or called for, nurses didn't work outside their designated units. Technically, the hospital could get in trouble if the soldier's family found out, but I was hoping that the combination of being short-staffed, and the fact that he was a burn patient would give some leeway.
She nodded. “Get an IV going. Looks like our boy has one good arm available. Let's get it in there.”
I immediately got to work. For a moment, I was afraid my hands would shake and I wouldn't be able to get the needle in, but that passed quickly and I found the young man's vein. I hung the bag and checked his vitals.
His pulse was erratic, blood pressure dangerously low. He was going into shock, and it was clear why. First, second- and third-degree burns over what looked like at least thirty percent of his body. It was hard to tell under all of the dirt, soot, and blood, but there might've even been some fourth degree. If that was the case, his chances of making it dropped significantly.
“Hang in there, soldier,” I whispered. “Don't die on me.”
“Nori, call Catlin,” Dr. Furia said from where she was trying to intubate him.
I nodded and headed for the phone. I dialed the extension and asked for Dr. Fellner. She was one of the best doctors we had and we worked well together. That was good because I fully intended to see this patient through.
I lost track of how long we worked on our soldier, or even when we moved from place to place. His wounds were extensive and varied, making me wonder exactly what'd happened.
His left arm was broken in three places and burned almost to the bone in a few spots. The underside of it was relatively undamaged, only a few first-degree burns that would hurt, but hadn't reached the blood vessels there. The top, however, was scorched from shoulder to wrist. Mercifully, his fingers and most of his hand had been spared.
He also had two broken and three cracked ribs. None in any danger of puncturing anything important, but they were going to make breathing even more of a bitch than his swollen throat and damaged lungs would.
Dom X - The Complete Box Set: Alpha Male Romance Page 5
