by Lisa Daniels
She refused to look at Calixto because Bree knew just how horrifying the idea of bringing back the dead was to those who understood what it meant and the history of the magic behind it.
“Of course, I didn’t tell anyone because there was always a chance that I wouldn’t succeed. It was ridiculously irresponsible,” she laughed, “but I didn't care. I could have ended the world and no one would have known what happened. Doesn’t that make me a terrible creature.” A tear rolled down her cheek.
She felt a warm hand on her, yet she refused to look at the man as he spoke, “It made you desperate. When creatures with power feel hurt, it is the responsibility of those around them to help them get through it.”
Bree looked at Calixto, “And when they don’t know?” His eyes weren’t warm, but they didn’t seem as cruel.
He squeezed her hand, “You have to learn to trust them enough that they can be there to help you.”
Bree shook her head, “I didn’t want to be dissuaded. I’m sure that Naya would have agreed to it because Nyle was the only family she had left. Saskia and Annora would have forbid it though. Well, Annora was in no state to do anything afterward. The dragon had nearly gutted her and I was just barely able to keep her from passing over. I don’t know what it was about the dragon, but the wound it left was not normal. There was some strong magic at work, though I had no knowledge of it. I still don’t know how it managed to make the wound open weeks after the injury. But, gods, was she a force to be reckoned with as soon as she could stand up. I have not seen her very often since then because-” Bree shrugged. “It is enough to know that she is well and to see her smile from time to time.”
Calixto waited for Bree to return to the point of her story. It was obvious that the whole thing was difficult to recount and the regret was etched all over her face.
Bree pursed her lips, cleared her throat, and looked at the ceiling again, “There was no reason to tell them what I planned to do. Nyle’s body was….not pretty. They never saw it because I took care of everything after he died. Saskia and Naya accepted his death after I told them that I had taken care of his remains. I never had to tell Annora because she already knew. I don’t know how because he left her in a building after she was hurt, so there is no way she could have seen what happened to him. But she knew. It was all she would talk about as I tried to keep her alive.”
Bree licked her lips and unsuccessfully fought to keep the tears from progressing down her cheeks. Running a hand over her mouth, she continued, “So I decided that the only way to fix everything was to bring him back. Annora was the only one who had any idea about the extent of my powers anyway, so there was no point in telling the others what I planned to do because they would not have understood. I hardly remember anything after making that decision. I knew it was wrong, so I basically shut off my brain to keep myself from thinking about it. The first thing that I remember after making that decision was the look in his eyes, the pain and regret that filled them. It broke my heart to look at that beautiful face again. ‘You can’t do this,’ his voice was as gentle and sweet as when he had been alive. Of course, I didn’t fully understand what he meant and I told him that clearly I could. He shook his head and held out his hand. I grabbed it and immediately started to cry. He pulled me to his chest and told me ‘You can’t do this to yourself. You already hide too much pain behind your smile.’ I said something stupid like ‘I just want you back.’ He stroked my hair and kissed the top of my head, ‘I know, but you can’t have that without losing yourself. Power can be used to prevent death and minimize pain, but you cannot reverse it. You have to let me go.’ I bawled into his chest because I felt like if I did let him go, I was killing him all over again, and I told him that. ‘Three wars. There were three wars started because of this magic. You may save me now only to lose me tomorrow, along with everyone we love. I accepted my fate, now I beg that you do the same.’”
Bree couldn’t hold in a sob at this point and she put her hands over her face. She felt Calixto waiting for her, unmoving from his spot. Brushing the tears from her face, she focused her eyes on the ground, “So I did. I let him go, and I have been afraid ever since.”
“You were afraid others would blame you for letting him go?”
Bree’s eyes met his, “No. I am afraid of what I will do if I hurt too much.”
A warm hand touched her cheek and oved around her head. Without a word, Calixto pulled her face into his chest and held her as she cried.
Chapter 9
Responsibilities and Obligations
Calixto was heating up Bree’s food as she stared into the fire.
His eyes darted to her for a moment, “Are you feeling better?” His voice had returned to the usual coolness.
She shrugged and gave him a little smile, “I would feel better if you would be a good shifter and just let me go.”
“I am being a decent person and following through with my obligations.”
Bree shook her head. “Are all shifters like you this stubborn?”
“We are all stubborn, but each clan takes a different approach to mating. Ours has been called the most extreme, but it has made us far more stable than any of the other clans.” He gave a derisive laugh, “If you can call having only nine shifters go insane in a 20 year period.”
Bree gave him a questioning look, “That seems like a pretty low number to me. Most of the shifter communities I know, it is a much higher rate.”
Calixto put the food on the make shift plate and handed it to her, “Well, most shifters are far less dangerous when they go insane. If my kind had that kind of mental instability, the world would be an incredibly dangerous place.”
“You don’t think that maiming children and eating travelers is particularly dangerous?”
“It is a different degree of dangerous.”
Bree put her chin in her hand, “What is your original form.”
“Big.”
Bree laughed, causing Calixto to look at her out of the corner of his eyes. She saw a faint smile pass his lips as she responded. “You plan to stay we me until you die, yet you aren’t going to tell me your other form? Are you planning to stay looking like a human forever?”
“Not if my life depending on it would I retain this form.” He stood up, “and I’m sure you will see my other form soon enough. You stay here and eat, I’m going to go check outside the cave.”
Bree did as she was told, her mind pondering what kind of shifter Calixto could be. Usually she could tell by their movements and mannerisms what their usual form was, but there was nothing about Calixto that seemed particularly animalistic. He was very cold though. Bree stared at the wall and wondered if he were perhaps some kind of cold creature by nature. Though she had never heard of a Yeti shifter, if they existed, she could understand how people in colder climates would be at a lot more risk from unstable shifters. That would be particularly frightening.
By the time Calixto returned, Bree had finished eating. “Does it look safe to leave?”
His eyes darted to her plate before he answered, “Yes, it looks safe. I don’t know if that is actually the case since demons are not one of the creatures with which I have much experience.”
Bree gave him a big smile, “You aren’t missing anything.” Standing up and stretching, she said, “I guess we should pick up first.”
“There is nothing for us to do. All of this was here when we arrived.”
Bree gave him an incredulous look. “That seems incredibly unlikely.”
Calixto gave her his typical cold look, “I clearly do not haul this kind of stuff around with me, and I have no idea how to access your walking wardrobe and goods.”
Bree raised her eyebrows as she answered, “It still doesn’t seem very likely that the stuff was here.”
“It doesn’t matter to me if you believe it or not. You can pack it up and take it if you don’t mind stealing. I have enough to do without trying to prevent you from being a thief too.”
Bree
looked around, “I think we have enough to worry about without dragging a bunch of stuff around. Since you say it isn’t yours, I am fine to leave it. If you are ready, we can go.” She reached out her hand to extinguish the fire, then she stopped, “Right no magic.”
Calixto picked up a bucket of water that he had stored off to the side away from the fire. As he poured it over the flames, he asked, “How is your burn?”
Bree looked down, “It’s tolerable.” Then she looked up at him. “Did you not get burned?”
He put the bucket down, “Not at all.”
“That’s good. I would rather not cause you any more trouble than I already have.”
“Do you mean that?” There was something in his voice that she didn’t quite understand.
“Are you being sarcastic?”
“Maybe a little. But it was still a serious question.”
“Yes, I mean it. You are cold and stubborn, but I don’t dislike you, Calixto.”
“Nor do you particularly like me.” There was definitely a tone of resentment in his response.
“I wish you would give up on me because you are not going to be happy if you continue to insist on staying with me.”
“I don’t expect to live very long by your side either.”
“And yet you won’t leave.”
There was a rumbling again as he turned and looked at her, “I have told you that I cannot leave you.”
“There is nothing physical tying you to me. There is no magic that keeps you with me either. That means you simply feel an obligation to do so. And I release you from that.”
Calixto moved so fast that she almost didn’t see it. As he looked down at her, Bree felt tiny. The man had an intimidating presence when he was angry. It was the first time where Bree felt vulnerable with him, not because he was going to harm her, but because he was angered by her continued attempt to get rid of him.
“Perhaps you can be so easily released from obligation and responsibility. Gods know the stories you have told show that the world would be a safer place without you. But I do not take either obligation or responsibility lightly. They are every bit as binding as if we were physically or magically bonded, and I would appreciate if you would stop pretending that they were so easily ignored.”
Bree swallowed and looked up at him, “I am not trying to downplay their importance. I am trying to save your life.”
Calixto blinked a couple of time, “You can do that very easily by acting more intelligently instead of acting like a human.”
Bree took a step toward him so that their bodies were almost touching. Her eyes were narrowed as she asked him a question, “Do you know why my kind will never fully die out?”
“Because you are too irresponsible to stop procreating.” She could see his regret at the words almost as soon as they were out of his mouth.
A cold smile spread across her face, “Any child I have will probably be a mere witch or wizard. Sorcerers and sorceresses are not born through any one species, but by mixing many of them. There is no predictable combination that will result in a sorcerer or sorceress either. I never knew my parents, but the one thing I can tell you about them is that neither of them was what I am. In all likelihood, they were both mixed species, and that is what gives rise to my kind.” Calixto took a step away from her, and she quickly closed the space, “It’s a secret that we never share with others because it would lead to wars and genocides like this world has never seen. You talk to me about obligations and responsibilities. Anything I do can have devastating repercussions, yet I manage to not destroy the world every day.”
Calixto folded his arms across his chest, “You can’t expect to be given credit for not destroying the world.”
“Yet I can expect all of the blame if I put it at risk.”
“It’s the problem that everyone who has power faces. Doing the right thing should be expected, there is no praise in that. You know better what the consequences are, and you choose to do right or wrong. The fact that you continue to live is your reward for doing what is right.”
Bree let out a cold laugh, “I find it a poor payment considering I have to spend my entire life hiding what I am.” Her eyes flicked to the man’s mouth. They were so close.
His eyes watched her for a brief moment, but there was nothing he could say that would persuade her. Words were a type of weapon he did not wield well.
Instead, he wrapped his arms around her and began to kiss her. At first, Calixto’s actions did not register. Bree stood still for a moment, then her body began to move on its own. Her hands began to unfasten Calixto’s clothing. He picked her up and pressed her against the wall, his mouth completely covering her own. Bree sucked on his tongue as he slid it into her mouth, and he reacted by pressing his hips into her. Bree wrapped her legs around him and ran her hands through his hair. As soon as he drew back, Bree grasped his soft hair and pulled his head back. She began kissing his neck. Calixto slid his hands up her dress and pulled her against him.
Then as suddenly as he had started, Calixto stopped. He put her down quickly, his face slightly red.
“Your body will react on its own to every circumstance you face, just as you did now. It will react long before your mind does. Please, stop trying to push me away again when I can help you control your instincts.” Though the light was dim, she could see the sincerity in his eyes. “You have no one you trust, and you are losing control of yourself. I can help you, but you have to let me.”
Bree panted, her hands running down his stomach and trying to slip under his shirt. Calixto may have been able to stop without wanting more, but Bree was not accustomed to stopping. As her hands tried to explore his body, Calixto grabbed her wrists with one of his, then tilted her head up so that she was looking at him. “Promise me that you will let me help you.”
Staring into his eyes, Bree found it nearly impossible to refuse him. Not just because she wanted him, but because she knew that she was reaching the end of her endurance. Instead of offering a refusal though, she responded in a near whisper, “I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I can handle it.”
“I am not talking about physical pain.”
“I can handle it.”
Bree closed her eyes for a moment, then looked at him one more time, “I don’t want to live and I don’t want you to die.”
He pressed her hands to his chest, “Then let me help you find a reason to live.”
“I don’t want anyone to die because of me.”
“Then act in a way that doesn’t risk others.”
She took a deep breath, “Do you understand what kind of power I have to control every day? Do you know how hard it is?”
“I understand how difficult immense power is to control. How there are days when it feels like it will swallow you whole. Pretending it isn’t there will not remove it. But others can help you carry the burden. It is why I am still here.”
“You must be terrifying in your other form,” she whispered.
He flashed a small smile, “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
His hand went around her back and pulled her close. Hesitantly, he pulled her to him and leaned down. This time his kiss was gentle and comforting so that Bree felt that perhaps she would finally be safe. Instead of trying to remove his clothing, Bree forced her hands to slide over his shoulders and clasp behind his neck. The feel of his body against hers was warm and comforting, and for once she didn’t want anything else. When he pulled away, Calixto put his forehead on hers, “Please let me help you.”
Bree gave a little nod and opened her eyes to look into his. “Ok. I trust you, Calixto.”
The shifter said nothing as he took her hand and pulled her out of the cave.
Chapter 10
A Sudden Drop
As soon as they were outside, it was almost impossible to imagine that the exchange in the cave had been real. Calixto was back to his usual cold self. Bree looked around and saw that they were not at the base of
the mountain as she had thought, but somewhat higher up.
She turned, “How did we get so far from the base?”
“I carried you.”
“Did you transform?”
He looked at her out of the corner of his eye, then returned to scanning the mountain for a way up. “Would you be disappointed if I said yes?”
“I would be for two reasons – because we should not be using magic and because I missed it.”
He waved her to him and put a hand on her shoulder. Calixto’s face was near hers as he pointed toward a very narrow path. “We can go up that way.”
She turned to look at him “You still haven’t answered my question.”
His face turned to hers. A slight smile spread across his face and instead of answering, he leaned over and kissed her. His hand slid down her arm and grabbed her hand. “We need to move before they realize we are on the move.” He pulled her along behind him.
“Demons don’t have a lot of power around mountains.”
“What about volcanoes?”
“That would be a complete disaster for us.”
“Then we need to get moving.”
Bree squeezed his hand, “You don’t need to be paranoid. This area hasn’t been active for so long that they may as well just be mountains.”
“And you don’t think that demons can change that?” There was a hint of sarcasm in his voice.
“Ok, that was clearly sarcasm. You are getting down right feisty Calixto.” Bree beamed as she squeezed his hand. “But I get what you mean. More speed less talk.”
He turned and gave her a quick smile, “We don’t have to be quiet as long as we don’t allow conversation to slow us down.”
“That is rather magnanimous of you.”
“I’m trying.”
Bree couldn’t keep a light laugh from echoing around them. Pressing a hand to her mouth, she collected herself, “Sorry. I’m surprised you know how to be funny.”
