“We know you’re a monster,” Lo replied. “There’s no thinking about it involved. There are a million stories in the Naked City. Rick and I have heard them all. Don’t bore us with yours, Spanky. You made a good start with the phone call. I’m sure those two shit-birds were real surprised you had their personal phone number. We have our other associate monitoring who they reach out to, and it’s looking good for a late night visit from shit-bird central.”
“Would they really murder me because of this fake call extortion rather than move their operation?”
“We figure their operation is bringing in three million yearly, in until now untraceable funds. The extortion part of their racket raises their total into the five million range by our calculations,” I answered. “Yes… the Byers are professional blackmailers. They know paying you off would not end at the paltry ten thousand you asked them for. They sure as hell can’t go to the cops, and if they can get you whacked for the same amount rather than move their operation to parts unknown, it’s a bargain for them.”
“Are you sure they’ll send the killers tonight?”
“Do the math,” Lo said. “They agreed to think your offer over, and get their answer tomorrow when you called. The answer they plan on you receiving is a bullet in the head tonight. We’re here a little before the time I figure they’ll show so as to get the layout of your house, and how best to confront these guys.”
I grinned as Nat’s features revealed a disbelieving terrified realization. “You don’t mean to stop them yourselves, do you? Where’s the big guy, Agent Griffin?”
“Bone has better things to do than protect your worthless perverted ass,” Lo supplied the smack-down I knew was coming. “Besides, he’s on probation. We don’t want him getting into any trouble.”
“Look… no offense meant.” Nat made placating motions with his hands. “The three guys sent the last time were dangerous. You two look like my grandparents. This isn’t the movie ‘Red’.”
Now that was funny. “I loved that movie. Did you see it, Lo?”
“Frank and I saw it and the sequel. Bruce Willis is too short to be you, but Helen Mirren could have been me. She had the right attitude.”
“Yeah, she did.” I turned to Nat again. “So, did you want to call Bruce Willis in on the case, Nat?”
He sat down heavily in the leather lounger across from where Lo and I were sharing his desk, perturbed at our obvious amusement concerning his plight. “I’m serious. Tell me you have police or even the damn fire department backing you up.”
I looked at my watch. It was nearly midnight. “Go to bed, Nat. Turn out your lights, and try to get some sleep. No matter what you hear, don’t leave your bedroom. You’ll be fine.”
“This is crazy! You two will be dead, and the killers will be beating me to death!”
“Do what I told you, Nat.”
“And shut your yap while you do it,” Lo added. When Nat stayed where he was, Lo pointed at him. “Don’t test me, Spanky. I’m well aware of what you’ve done, and there’s nothing I’d like better than to light your ass up. Now get the hell out of my sight before I lose my sense of humor.”
There is something about Lois, no one misses when she gets her ‘mean girl’ on. No bluff, no fluff, and no mercy is what they see. Nat left without another word, lucky for him.
“I can’t stand the sight of that guy,” Lois remarked. “Did you plant everything we’d need if he goes off the reservation?”
“Yep. I have his phone cloned, his computers, and pads set for every touch and keystroke. If Nat hits the child predator trail after this, we’ll give him the Rudy Molinca treatment.”
At the mention of the last child predator we helped into the light, Lo nodded in agreement, and went back to work on her laptop. “It will be an interesting experiment. These cretins are supposedly incurable, but then again, their rehab doesn’t usually carry a death sentence. At least we know he wasn’t involved in the supply end. Did Bone ever find out if his family left him because of this?”
“No. All the court records show is irreconcilable differences. He’s allowed to see his kids with another adult present, which points to at least his wife knowing about it.”
“I hate gray areas,” Lo said. “This crap making deals with perverts to catch other perverts always drives me nuts. I know it will be worth it to shut down this ring, and make sure Jim doesn’t have any unexpected problems. There are simply slimy aspects of this business I wouldn’t mind bypassing.”
“Like you said though, we can do a lot of good. Hey… now that I’m with Stacy and Jim, you won’t get suicidal without the target rich environment I presented for you day after day in the past, will you?”
“You’re a backslider, Hooterville. Nothing will change that. You wallow around in that Cantelli-land fog of darkness and shadow you’re always whining about, beating your breast sobbing oh woe is me – when in reality, you like it in that wet, damp gopher hole you bury yourself in.”
“Do not.” She’s right, but I don’t have to admit it.
“Bullshit! You’re as big an experiment right now as Spanky upstairs. No one knows if you’ll be able to handle some semblance of normalcy, Rick. I’ll admit it. I’d be one surprised cynical partner if you did. I liked what you did with Jim, coaching him through those gigs at Jadie’s gym. It’s like Stacy said, he is you, only more entertaining, and less annoying.”
“Gee, Lo, thanks for your perspective. Maybe we could assume I’ll succeed in order to keep the legitimacy of the testing process. I may have played this for laughs with Stacy, but Jim is a new key I can’t screw up. Hell… I’ve known and distrusted every moment since the first call you received from her. This is different. One upside you have to admit is I’m finally in my own age group.”
Lo let me hear the familiar cackle as she continued working the files. “Okay… I’ll give you that one. I know the Jadie young squeeze, constantly working to turn you to the young and dark side, was wearing on you. The brief dalliance with Trish I figured screwed you right into the ground, but it didn’t. I even saw you bonding with Sam. I always figured you were the only one in existence capable of mating with a contract killer. You got through that better than I ever imagined.”
That statement worried me a little. “Damn, Lo… I’m sixty. I worked Trish constantly about my being way out of her age group. She kept giving me that crap explaining how much older she was in her head. It was kind of neat when Sam turned her world upside down. Sure… I admit going overseas on the mission in Sana’a gave me something else to think about, but I wasn’t in any danger of going postal or anything.”
“I’ll take your word for it, but Trish had you going, Hooterville. I could tell during that first morning when she walked into the kitchen, she had stirred and scrambled your eggs.”
Nope. “I was merely sunning myself inside the ray of light piercing the darkness and shadow you claim I’m wallowing in.”
“Maybe so… I’ll give you that one too, but…”
Then the monitors blinked in silent harmony. Lo grinned at me. It was show-time. I knew one harmony that would never change. Lo and I had conned so many would be thugs ripe for picking in the past, we lived for this. Sure. We had no actual idea what tripped our motion detectors, but we didn’t wait for proof or video confirmation. We scrambled down into position with Tasers, Mace, and firearms. The hippies speak of harmonic convergence. Lo and I converge on a situation, but it is neither harmonic nor compassionate.
There were three of them again, unknowing they had tripped our alarms, because we went silent and deep just for them. I had relinquished the double tap to my partner, who was a terrific shot with our formidable Taser weapons, and she also enjoyed her work - possibly a bit too much for the uninitiated. Our quarry went down after they passed the threshold like cows heading to the last roundup of hamburger helper. I had already paused as weapons clanged luckily without going off to the floor as our targets absorbed the initial charge. The moment we were safe
for weapons pointing, Lo went to work. There are some things left to the imagination. I did notice one of the burglars Lois assaulted was a woman. She did not like the pain at all as her high squeal confirmed not only her intolerance of pain, but also her gender.
Lo made fake motions she had caught a big one, and gave her catch an extra jolt. Mine thought he could fake passing out on me. I leaned in close, gave him a nice short squirt of nasty juice right in his mask. He screamed, while tearing off his mask. It was Eric Byers in person. For a few moments I forgot who I was, where I was, and what the hell I was supposedly doing. I cranked Eric until he forgot about the Macing I’d given him or anything else other than flopping on the floor like a giant tuna caught in the net.
“Rick!” Lo slapped me in the face. “He’s toast. I see who he is. I’m betting I have little Emily under the mask here. C’mon down off the plateau. We have these two dead to rights. There won’t be any slick lawyer crap getting these two off. Cinch ‘em up and walk away. Call Staley, and tell him we’ve busted the damn ring wide open.”
I didn’t say a word. I was still coming down off the plateau. It took only moments to plastic tie the trio’s wrists and ankles. I retrieved a wet towel out of Nat’s kitchen, and doused off the Mace. After collecting the weapons from each one with gloved hands, I noted which belonged to who. Bill answered on the second ring, because we had kept him in the loop on our plan. This added bonus of these two morons showing up in person to do the dirty work would put a smile on his face. Now that I could think again, I was smiling myself.
“Yeah, Rick?”
“We have them, Bill. I know this will be hard to believe, but Eric and Emily came in person with one minion to do the deed themselves. No casualties. They’re restrained, and barbequed. They’ll be glad to go with you.”
“Damn… those idiots really showed, huh? I’ll be there with Terry and Jamile in fifteen minutes. Thanks for not killing them, Rick. Your FBI contact will be much happier. He can hit their Arizona setup immediately. Since both of them are with you, I’ll make sure he’s careful with the people he sends to serve the warrant.”
“We’ll be waiting. Will you need Natterly the informant to go with you tonight, or can he come in tomorrow morning?”
“In the morning will be fine. It seems we may not need a trial after all.” Bill disconnected.
I returned to where Lo watched our unhappy predators after collecting the Taser needles. I placed Eric in a sitting position against the couch, repeating the process with Emily and the unknown thug.
“My…my eyes are burning!”
“Did you hear that, Lo? Poor old Eric’s eyes are burning.”
Lois shrugged. “Break his arm, Rick. That’ll distract his attention from the burning eyes.”
“No!” Eric cried out, as I pretended to carry out Lo’s directive.
“Who are you people?”
I could tell Emily’s mind raced ahead of her husband’s as the Taser vibes wore off. “Concerned citizens. We know who you and your husband are, and what you came here to do.”
“I’ll give you a hundred thousand apiece to let us go,” Emily urged. “Think about it! I’ll transfer the money anywhere you want right now.”
“Do you remember a young boy named James Randal Bishop?” It was a rhetorical question, but I wanted to see if any light bulbs went off in their pea brains. They did.
“What about him?” Emily asked in a quiet tone while exchanging tightlipped glances at Eric the redeye.
“He’s my Grandson. Luckily for you three, we have a nice deal with the FBI and local law enforcement. They’ll be hitting your Arizona house real soon,” I explained. “My partner and I run a private detective and security firm. We have your entire operation mapped out for our contact in the FBI. Maybe you’ll be able to plead out for a twenty year sentence without parole. I’m betting this clown you have with you knows where a few more bodies are buried.”
“No way was this your first hands on hit in person,” Lo added, grinning at Emily, but watching thug three closely with her peripheral vision. “I bet the cops will get someone like your buddy here to rat you two out for past murders to get a lighter sentence.”
I could see thug three had his head down, but you can tell, he was considering all his options. The way Eric and Emily were looking at him, I think there was no question at all he knew their way of doing business very well. “Yep. It seems you have a weak link in your chain of stupidity right here.”
“We could have killed Jim,” Emily said. “That should count for something. Take the damn money! I’ll make it two hundred grand each!”
Lois was down in a flash, her hand gripping Emily’s chin. Staring into Lo’s eyes turned off the cunning light in Emily’s “You’d better pray to God they put you in prison until Rick and I are dead.”
A knock on the door announced Bill’s arrival. I answered it. “C’mon in guys. They’re trying to bribe us into letting them go, so they’re ripe for plucking. I’ve already put the complete case file in your inbox, Bill.”
“Thanks, Rick. This was one tight operation you and Lo pulled off. I’ve already put Agent Randolf on alert. We’ll gather our guests, since they’ve added crossing state lines to commit felony murder to their list of prison bound goodies.”
I said hi to Terry and Jamile. “I’ll take off the plastic ties for you one at a time if you’d like guys, so you can cuff each one.”
“Sounds good, Rick,” Jamile replied. “I’ll follow you while Terry watches. Let me read them their rights first though. I smell Mace.”
“You didn’t soak them in that shit, did you, Rick?” Terry’s face was twisted in annoyance.
“Nope. I shot some on a mask Eric Byers wore to the party. We’ll bag it tightly so it doesn’t assault your sensibilities, Terry.”
“We all know the backstory on this,” Terry said. “We’ll make sure everything we do is by the book with these mooks. How’s your Grandson doing with all that’s happened to you lately?”
I took the plastic tie off Eric’s ankles, helped him to his feet, and removed the tie on his wrists. “He’s doing exceptionally well, Ter.”
“What about, Stacy?” Bill asked as I helped with the unknown thug after Jamile cuffed Eric. “Is she doing okay?”
“Take my word for it, Bill,” Lo answered for me. “Little Jim has made a difference for Stacy I doubt anything else could have. We’re watching her, but she has me convinced.”
“That would be a miracle,” Bill replied. Terry and Jamile frisked the two men, bagging everything they found. Lois did Emily with a thoroughness Em did not care for at all. “Okay… we have it from here. Have the informant meet me at the station at 10AM sharp. I have other business to attend to on Sunday anyway, so I may as well get the informant statement taken care of. Please stay in hiding for a while, Rick. If you kill anyone else in the state, the Governor will likely issue a kill on sight order on your ass.”
“We’re all hoping this gig sets you on the path of righteousness,” Jamile added. “You’ve had some spooky days this past week.”
“People will be avoiding you like the plague,” Terry said. “We need to get the hell away from you. There’s no telling when lightning will strike in your presence, buddy.”
Laughing, Jamile began herding his three perps toward the door. “Terry’s right, Rick. We have families to think about.”
“This is the first day of my rehab assignment, guys. One day at a time, right?”
“Yeah, Rick,” Bill agreed, holding his right thumb and forefinger a quarter of an inch apart. “Small steps, my friend.”
Lois had been enjoying the police force zingers. “Thanks for getting here to finish this so quickly, guys. Free dinners at the restaurant – there’s nothing we like better than a police presence there with the trouble Rick gets into.”
“Thanks… but no thanks, Lo,” Terry replied on the way out. “We never bring our families inside a war zone, even for a free meal.”
I smiled while watching them walk away laughing at Terry’s all too accurate assessment of my Casablanca Night capers. “That’s just disturbing, when the cops turn down free meals. I’m buying a donut shop franchise next.”
* * *
“Not much to say after that win, partner,” Lo said, exiting my GMC. “Get some sleep, stay out of trouble, and meet us at the beach house tomorrow for some relaxation. I’ll message the rest of the gang tonight if any of them want to come. I’m thinkin’ one o’clock.”
“We’ll be there. It’ll be the first day without thinking about gangs or perverts. That’s enough reason for a celebration any day. See you then.”
My house was on lockdown until my arrival. When I say lockdown, I mean it. I have security shutters, state of the art system, and Bill had a squad car drive by once each hour. After checking the neighborhood vehicles for strays I didn’t recognize, I turned the alarm system off, and put away the GMC. My garage is attached, but I had dead-bolted the adjoining door before leaving.
“That you, Rick?”
Rick Cantelli, PI: Into the Darkness (Rick Cantelli, P.I. Detectives Book 3) Page 17
