“It was my fault,” Temple said. “Jim seems like he’s twenty. I kissed him in a flirty way, and found out he kisses like he’s twenty. I’m sorry if we gave you the creeps, Pop.”
Jim immediately hugged me. “Thanks. I needed something to keep this vixen away from me.”
My God… did that resonate to my very core. He was such a smartass. Temple went into hilarious spasms of enjoyment at Jim’s pronouncement. I pushed him away with emphasis. I pointed my ‘I’m watching you’ fingers from my eyes to them. “Think you can fool the old geezer, huh? I think not. You two will be under close observation, and I mean it. I know you think us old fools have never been young… but we have. Please don’t embarrass me so the Harpy can skin me alive.”
Jim clasped Temple’s hand. She didn’t disengage. They both kept their eyes on me. “I respect you. You and G-ma have been incredible. Temple told me she doesn’t have any friends her age or even near her age. Heck… I know she’ll eventually meet some guy her age, maybe even the one she’s hanging out with now that will rock her world. She’ll dump me even as a friend, and tell the guy I’m her mentally challenged younger brother.”
By the time Jim’s zinger hit Temple, he had let her hand go, and raced down the beach. This time, Temple went after him at full speed. I turned away toward my motley crew of friends, partners, and employees. All but Jadie and Ken were waiting to blast me. I glanced back at the foot race. It had ended, and they were again locked in a less than innocent kiss.
“Wow, Pa… you sure handled that situation,” Trish observed. “When Karen needs any parenting advice, she’ll know who to call.”
“You know, Trish, you were a lot funnier in prison.”
“Not to the inmates I wasn’t.”
“Good exchange,” Lo said, handing me a beer. “What the hell happened during the grandfatherly lecture on sex and the underage child?”
“I lost the handbook on my way here. I had to adlib. It didn’t go well. I get the message Temple has been so long without a young friend she could trust not to either steal her blind or rat her out to the media, she may be going a bit overboard since meeting Jim. She did tell him about having a celebrity boyfriend. I seem to be better with gangbangers and child predators. I know this much. I’ll have to step up my game, or the cops will be arresting Temple, and taking Jim away from me.”
“C’mon with me,” Lo said. “I have to brief you on our new operation. I have my range finders near the chair. We’ll check on Tristan and Isolde from there.”
“How old is Jim again,” Shelly asked. “I had a hell of a time with my two once they hit their teens.”
“He’ll be thirteen in a few days. I was going to have a party for him, but I’m thinking of locking him in a closet instead.”
“Rick already knows I nearly went postal on my Kim,” Lo said.
“Anyway, I’ll bring out the two veggie and dip trays before I get an update from Lo. I know you bunch are hungry, so grab your drinks and I’ll serve the trays on the patio away from the sand.”
After enthusiastic support for the snacking, I took care of the trays first before rejoining Lo and Frank at our beach observation post. Lo adjusted the range finders as I sat down with my beer. “I’m a bit surprised at Temple. Jim seems older than his thirteen years, but I admit I did not see this coming.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Lo said. “They’ve toned down their negotiations. Shortcake must be lonely. Having a friend she can trust makes sense, but we both know how far off too much alone time can take them. She has to be in disguise everywhere she goes, and she’s already told us how badly even her attempts at having a girlfriend have been.”
“Jim mentioned when I stopped them on the beach he figured she’d dump him the moment she found a guy her age, referring to the boyfriend. He was joking, but his face told me a different story. I think he covered the bare essentials of what happened to him at the Byers’ place. He had his moral compass peg into the red zone. The kid is tall and ripped for his age. Add to that he has experience he shouldn’t have, and I have the trifecta of teenage disaster movies building in fabled Cantelli-land.”
Frank grinned at me. “It’s a neat trouble though beyond killings, and court battles, brother. Jim looks good with her. He sure doesn't look like a thirteen year old.”
I again assessed my mini-me hesitantly, where Jim walked with his arm around the slightly shorter Temple in a seemingly serious conversation with her. “Yep, he’s going to be a handful and a blessing. He listens to reason well so far. I’ll have to deal with rebellion on a case by case basis. For a reason beyond reason, he adores Stacy. If she sees this reality experiment through, I’m sure she will help me. Hell… she knows every con, and every slight of hand known to man. It’s a challenge. We were all excited not being put out to pasture. There’s no use whining in regard to my new teenage resident, who will add the unknown into the mix for years to come.”
“Agreed,” Lo replied. “Now… about that other little entanglement we have with the alphabet soup type agencies. Carl told me he would be arriving tomorrow to help out on whatever Floyd noticed on the Byers’ computers. It definitely has to do with a level above the Byers couple. The fact Van Carmichael and Floyd Randolf are again joining forces means we’ve once again ended one threat, and opened the damn door to another. That’s all I know for now. Carl told me Van and Floyd would be arriving here to brief us after I told Carl where we’d be.”
“Give me another shot, Lo. I’m in the mood for a bit more pain killer at the moment.”
Lois chuckled and poured me another double, which I accepted. “Grandfather and CIA duties making you feel your age, Hooterville?”
“Oh yeah.” I gulped half of what I should have sipped, and chased it with my beer. “Frank… is this shit we’re stirring screwing with your head? I know we’re all of the age we should be sitting in deck chairs on some Alaskan Cruise, retired geezers with blankets on our laps. You have input in this, brother.”
Frank leaned forward. “I’m having the time of my life, brother. I don’t want any input into operations you two get involved in. I opt for ignorance as in our past. I’m happy with the support position, and the unexpected danger quotient. We can’t live forever… right?”
He held out his glass, and we toasted with him. Frank may not be my blood, but he is my blood brother. “In spite of all these goofy revelations, and potential youngster seductions, this was a good day. I wonder if Van and Floyd will actually come here together. If we keep taking meetings here, and fighting off beach assaults, one of these days they’ll simply send a drone to take us out. I know you’re thinking if they do visit us together, Lo… all life on earth is in jeopardy.”
Lois chuckled while sipping her drink. “You got it. If those two arrive at our beach house, we’re in a different reality. I sent almost that exact message back to Carl. I can understand why they would arrive with a nuclear option, depending on the mastermind they think backed the Byers’ operation. What we don’t know is what their reaction is, and what backup they are willing to provide for a solution.”
“It would have to be bad for FBI and CIA to actually follow through on that hokey deal Randolf mentioned to us at the office last October when we faced off with the deceased Adina, my one time Mossad fling. I never figured they planned on formulating an actual operation here on American soil together. That they may join us shortly to do exactly that is a little spooky. Did you invite Cheech?”
“He said he might join us later when Stacy will be here. I told him the barbeque would be at five anyway. I can text him there will possibly be FBI Agents on hand. He’s in a pretty good place with them since proving he’s shed the old gangland holdings.”
“I heard Cheech had to clear himself before he was allowed to get into the movie business. He and Stacy talk on the phone a few times a day. I’m mystified he made her a store manager, even though I think his logic was sound when he explained it to us at the store. I’m wondering if he was having
a little fun at our expense.”
“Possibly,” Lo replied.
“The kids look a little serious,” Frank pointed out, watching Temple and Jim walk our way. “Jim still has his arm around her, but with the look he has on his face, Temple appears more like his younger sister.”
“You saw them in that lip-lock, Hon,” Lo said. “I don’t know who the boyfriend is she’s been seeing, but that kiss spelled trouble. What do you think, Hooterville?”
“You’re dead on right about the kiss. Temple claimed she meant it as a flirty thing, but Jim not only talks like he’s twenty, but according to her he kisses like he’s twenty. That confirms his short sentenced explanation concering what was going on at the foster home. He is what he is. The kid knows discipline, and he has a good heart. I hate to say this, but he’s a better smartass than I ever was at his age.”
That statement was enjoyed for the few moments it took until the youngsters joined us.
“What’s so funny, Pop?” Temple was giving me the evil eye, automatically imagining I had been raking her over the coals for shared geezer laughs.
“I was stating young Jim is a better smartass than I was at his age. You two seemed more than a little serious on your trek here. Want to share what earth shaking realization brought on the somber mood. I had hoped it involved your present age difference, but that was before I noticed young Romeo still has his arm draped on your much older shoulders.”
The geezers shared a few chuckles as Temple floundered with some outrage, but mostly guilt. Jim immediately unwrapped his arm from her shoulders, grinning at us old farts having a laugh at the youngsters’ expense. He could take a verbal shot, so that was good.
“Temple’s attracted to Bret, but since she’s been hanging out with him, he’s slowly taking advantage of her. She suspects he’s trying to get notoriety from their being together, rather than actually caring about her.”
“Wow… you’re just so cute, young Hooterville,” Lo stated. “Who is this Bret guy, Shortcake, and why is it I’m only now hearing about him from the spawn of Hooterville?”
Of course, the Harpy pronouncement labeling Jim as the ‘Spawn of Hooterville’ elicited more geezer amusement, but a gasp of annoyance from Temple. Jim, to his credit, remained neutral while gleaning information someone else initiated. Well done, young Jedi.
“It was none of your business. You and Rick were off trying to get killed, leaving the rest of us here worried as hell we’d never see you two old farts alive again. I love you two, damn it! You’re the only ones since I’ve been born who actually cared about me. Since meeting you both, I have an extended family with your crew I never dreamed of having. They care about me too, and they don’t give a hoot about my money, my fame, or what knowing me would get for them. Yes… I took solace with Bret, who I met at a screening of ‘A New Beginning’. He was charming, spoke French, and has already starred in a few major movies. I fell for him until I realized he was only finding time for me when we could be photographed at major events, or at parties where the paparazzi were everywhere.”
Lois stood. She put her arm around Temple’s shoulders. “Look, kid. I’m sorry Rick and I had business to take care of. We’re a couple of dangerous old farts, and we’ve been in the action too long to let go now. What makes us who we are may take us away either in a short time frame of an operation, or in death. We want the best for you, but our passing is something you have to come to grips with. Now… drop and give me twenty little bird, and you stand right where you are, young rooster.”
“What? I confide in you and I get ‘drop and give me twenty’? No… I won’t do it! I know my rights. You don’t own me. I may love your old ass, but I don’t have to take your crap!”
Lo gripped her chin with that evil grimace known to turn grown dangerous men into stone. “Do it now, little bird, or on the count of three it will be forty. Three… two…”
Temple squeaked and dropped. “You’re mean, Lo!”
The dreaded cackle returned for a moment before she turned on Jim. He had come to attention after being warned off the Temple punishment. “You… young stud… worry me. I can see in your eyes you’re lacking fear of anything, just like that DNA author who put you into our lives. I hope you can absorb advice and follow it. I can see so much potential in you it nearly blinds me. Don’t go off the rails, kid. You’re the whole package just like that reprobate you call Pa. I can guarantee one thing: stick with us and life will be exciting, boring at times when you must do your duty, and dangerous at others with backup you have yet to even understand.”
Jim smiled. “Thanks, Aunt Lo. I promise you this – I will not disappoint you. One fact you may need to know now – after those kisses Temple and I shared, I’m in love with her. I know geezers laugh at first love, and the young dolts who think they’re in love. Temple’s special. I may not ever be with her other than a friend, but I know I love her.”
Temple lost her pushups, jumped up, and launched into a torrid full out erotic embrace with my young Jedi that even backed the Harpy off for a moment. I stood there with Frank, having come away from our seating assignments, with consternation. Look… love at first sight is a myth… until I remembered inexcusably my first glimpse of Stacy. Damn it! I sighed, while exchanging knowing glances with my blood brother.
“Oh boy…” Frank muttered. “You’re in trouble, Rick.”
“Aw… the hell with it,” I said without remorse. “I love them both, so who gives a crap? I’m a grandfather. I’ll concentrate on that. Well, Lo… you certainly brought this to a head. Do you have any Aunt like advice before they start screwing right in front of us?”
The cackle returned full bore while Lo watched the searing young love in full on format before us. “We don’t have a hose to turn on them. What do you suggest, Hooterville, shoot them?”
Good one. I put a hand on Jim’s shoulder. “Ah… this is the wrong time, the wrong place, and many other wrong venue labels, young Jedi. Disengage now!”
Jim woke from his intense coupling with Temple in a reluctant all-encompassing wave of sudden fright as he forced an end to the kiss heard round the world. “Jesus… I’m sorry, Temple. I-”
Temple covered Jim’s mouth with both hands. “Don’t! I love you too. Please… don’t take it back.”
Jim gripped her shoulders and I saw the determination overwhelming his common sense. “I’ll never ever take it back, Temple. I love you. That will never change. I understand the problems. Pa and Aunt Lo are trying to help us. I have no idea about life. The things I’ve seen Pa have to do in the last few days made me realize I understood a very small part of existence. I’ve already experienced a bad part of it all. I hope to live with a few good parts from now on. You are one of them.”
Temple sobbed, allowing Jim to draw her back into his embrace. The three of us geezers were out to lunch on this one. We had experienced it, lived through it, and had differing outcomes. I glanced toward our beach house, and noticed the horde of friends chowing down on snacks while watching the love scene from afar. Okay… at least we had some heartwarming entertainment for this barbeque party. We had two kids here with very strange backgrounds. One was a movie star, famous beyond reason to both adults and children, but betrayed by everyone she ever cared for. On the other hand we had Jim, forced into foster care after the death or abandonment of everyone he’d ever known, being made into a porn star before he turned thirteen. I couldn’t kill my way out of this Cantelli-land type problem, so I’d need to take a step back. Infatuation is a weird thing. It makes the participants mental, no matter what their ages, but it also could be real to a point where there is no cure.
I looked at Lo. She, of course, was smiling. “I got nothin’.”
“No need to start lamenting everything in existence, Rick. They’ll grow out of it, or be enticed out of it. We need to get Hooterville junior into school. He’ll have many temptations from girls there he may fall prey to. I was in love with Frank nearly at the same age Jim is now. He was a c
ouple years older, but I seduced him into my love slave shortly after.”
Frank expressed enthusiastic appreciation of that Lois ace. When he could speak, he agreed. “Yep… and it was more like Lo described than I should admit to. These two… oh boy… hey… break it up. I won’t say get a room, because that’s the only order you’d steamroll anyone in your way to follow.”
Temple framed Jim’s face in her hands as she drew away. “Thank you for today. It was incredible. I know how silly we seem, and I’m too old for you… but I don’t care.”
“I’m not going away,” Jim replied, gripping her wrists and holding them. “We need to do what the geezers say about staying busy, because when I’m with you now, all I can think about is having you.”
“Oh God… Jim…”
And they were at it again. Jesus… Mary… and Joseph, they didn’t give a damn whether they had an audience or not. Lo sighed. She reached and grabbed Temple’s ear, squeezing it, and yanking her out of Jim’s embrace.
“Come with me, you young trollup. I’ll show you how to get the barbeque ready for Hooterville to cook on. He and Hooterville junior can cook together while I explain the facts of life to you.”
“Ow! C’mon… Lo… no don’t twist! I’ll come with you!” Temple kept glancing back at the boy wonder.
We watched them trek toward the beach house amidst applause from our snacking crew. I turned Jim toward the beach while Frank followed his wife and her captive.
“You need to think pure thoughts, young Jedi,” I explained. “It’s not polite to have a tent in your shorts for others to see.
Only then did Jim realize what I was talking about. “Either start reciting the Seven Dwarfs names or start humming ‘It’s a Small World after all’. Otherwise we’ll be walking along the beach for a long time.”
“Temple is incredible. She sang for me the night you killed Ramos. She talked to me all night long there. I told her about the foster care thing, and what the Byers were doing. I explained I didn’t know the cameras were in the room when I was with Kelly and Rhonda. I told her I ran away the moment I found out what they were doing. Temple told me all about her folks trying to rob her, and all the problems she had with making friends. She lives in that big mansion alone, with no one she can trust not to sneak pictures of her if invited over. The girlfriends she thought were okay, Twittered everything when she was with them. I didn’t know how I felt about her really until she kissed me on the beach.”
Rick Cantelli, PI: Into the Darkness (Rick Cantelli, P.I. Detectives Book 3) Page 19
