by Kit Berry
She stopped, hating herself for being so desperate, for making herself so vulnerable. Magus let his hands drop and continued walking, so she had to fall in by his side.
‘I apologise if I’ve led you to think I’m free or indeed willing to commit myself to a monogamous relationship. I’m not, and I’m afraid that’s how it is and always will be. I could never be tied to one woman. I don’t think I ever promised you that, did I?’
‘No,’ she said in a small voice. ‘You never promised me anything.’
‘But we can be together sometimes, Miranda, and I do promise that when we are, I’m all yours. This baby will be loved and wanted, and will grow up lacking nothing. Of course, you’re free to terminate the pregnancy if …’
‘Oh no – I want your baby!’ she said. ‘As long as I know you care for me, I’ll just have to accept that I must share you with the community. I suppose I have no other option really. But, Magus, I am special to you, aren’t I?’
He hugged her, taking the opportunity to check the time again, and chuckled.
‘Of course you are. But, Miranda, don’t get possessive with me, will you?’
‘No, of course not. Our relationship will be special because of the baby and your feelings for me, but it’ll be fun and lighthearted too, if that’s what you want.’
‘Good! I’m so glad you understand and we’ve got that sorted out. So, how’s Sylvie taking the news that you might be expecting a baby? She obviously realises it’s mine?’
‘Oh yes. She seems fine about it – not bothered at all. She’s quite distracted at the moment.’
They’d come to one of the alcoves in the clipped hedging and Magus took her in to sit on the wooden seat. He put his arm around her, his long fingers brushing her breast idly. She closed her eyes and sighed, every nerve ending jangling at his touch.
‘Are you keeping a close watch on her to make sure she doesn’t see that boy?’
‘Yes I am, and she hasn’t.’
‘Mmn. I still want her watched. I’m going away in a few days’ time and you must ensure they stay apart while I’m gone.’
‘How long for? Where are you going?’
‘Just business. And for less than a month.’
‘A month?’ she squeaked.
‘I have a company in London to run, remember. But I’ll be popping back now and again. You must promise you’ll watch Sylvie and keep her well away from Yul.’
‘Of course, although I think you’re worrying needlessly.’
‘Let’s hope so. The other thing I need to talk to you about is this full moon business. Tell me, has she always been affected by it?’
Miranda shrugged, wanting to talk about the baby and their relationship, not Sylvie and her moon madness.
‘More or less. But it was getting worse as she grew older. I didn’t realise it was happening here. I thought it was all part of her illness in London and that she’d got over it. I thought she was fine here.’
‘Well she clearly isn’t, and we can’t have her wandering around Stonewylde in the dark meeting up with unsuitable boys in the woods, like she did last month. Anything could happen, couldn’t it? So tonight I’ll keep an eye on her myself.’
‘Yes, of course, Magus. It’s a full moon tonight then?’
‘Yes, and I want you to leave her alone. Come up to the Hall for dinner and stay here till after the moon rise so she’s on her own in the cottage. I promise I won’t let her come to any harm. I just need to see how she behaves, what she does. I might be able to help her, of course, as I did with her other illnesses. I also want to see if she’ll try to meet the boy in secret behind our backs, despite her promises.’ He stood up briskly. ‘I must be off. That’s settled then, about tonight? You’re not to worry, Miranda. You know I’ll look after her.’
‘Of course, Magus,’ she said trustingly.
‘Sylvie will always be safe with me,’ he said softly, leading her back up the garden path.
All day the tension rose within her until by early evening Sylvie thought she’d explode with it. She felt the familiar tingling inside; the increasing sense of being trapped indoors and needing to get outside and up somewhere high. She was also excited at the prospect of seeing Yul alone; it was so long since they’d been together. She was relieved when, at six o’clock, Miranda announced she was leaving for the Hall for dinner and wouldn’t be around that evening.
‘Are you coming too, darling?’ Miranda asked innocently.
‘No, I’m not hungry. I’ll have a sandwich and stay here.’
‘Sure you’ll be alright?’
‘Yes!’
‘You know it’s the full moon tonight?’
‘Do you really think I’d be unaware of that?’
‘No need to be rude, Sylvie. And I want to make sure you understand you’re not to go out gallivanting with that boy.’
‘Yeah, I know.’
‘Magus wanted me to remind you that you’re forbidden to see each other.’
‘That man makes me sick! Who does he think he is – dictating who I can and can’t see!’
‘Sylvie! Anyway, I’m your mother and I’m telling you not to see Yul. You’re only just fifteen and he’s not suitable company for you – running around the woods and getting up to goodness knows what. It’s not just Magus telling you, it’s me too and I have every right.’
Sylvie glared sullenly at her mother, hating her at that moment. She was being so unfair, judging Yul only by what Magus had told her. The Miranda from the old days would’ve made up her own mind – and would’ve liked Yul very much.
‘Actually, I’m quite surprised you’re not off gallivanting yourself up at that horrible rock on the cliff with your picnics and incense and tent-pegs.’
‘Sylvie! I—’
‘You’re such a hypocrite, Mum! All I want to do is watch the moon rise in the company of a very sweet boy I like. You’re the one going off having sex with a man you barely know and getting yourself pregnant!’
‘How dare you, Sylvie! You make it sound so sordid.’
‘Well it is sordid!’
‘No it’s not! Magus cares for me and he’s really pleased there might be a baby. I have a special relationship with him. We were talking about it today, in fact. Anyway, we don’t know yet for sure that I’m expecting.’
‘So why isn’t he seeing you tonight if he cares for you so much? What happened to the moonlight picnics in the tent? The rugs and cushions on the rock? Maybe he doesn’t want you so much now he’s made you pregnant.’
Miranda picked up her jacket and gave her daughter a cold glance.
‘Magus has already explained to me that he has business to attend to this evening, so he won’t be free to see me. I’ll speak to you tomorrow about your behaviour, when you’ve calmed down. I won’t have you talking like this, Sylvie. You must stop being so hostile and rebellious towards Magus. You liked him when we first came here and I don’t see why your opinion has changed so much.’
‘Because now I know the truth about him,’ Sylvie muttered.
‘If I’m to be the mother of his baby, Magus will be a major part of our lives and you’ll just have to get used to it. Have a nice evening, Sylvie, and remember to stay away from that boy. Or there’ll be serious consequences.’
‘Good riddance!’ snapped Sylvie as the door closed behind her mother. But she cheered up at the news that Magus was busy for the evening. She could now enjoy Yul’s company without fear of being found out. She decided to change into the beautiful moongazy dress as Yul had suggested; she wanted to look lovely for him.
By eight o’clock Sylvie was ready. She felt a sharp thrill of excitement deep inside that was nothing to do with the lunar cycle. Half an hour later she could barely sit down. She paced the room, her feet padding up and down the floorboards, the gauzy grey and silver dress floating out around her in soft webs. It was a warm evening, the sky clear but for a few small clouds melting to gold as the sun began its descent. Sylvie was frantic to get outsi
de and finally could stand it no longer. She opened the front door and stepped into the evening, breathing in the balmy golden air.
I shall dance with the hares and sparkle like quicksilver. Yul is the darkness to my brightness, the earth magic and moon magic joined as one!
She skipped to the gate, her feet hardly touching the ground. Her hair flowed around her bare arms and shoulders like a veil of silvery-white silk. She fumbled with the gate and then she was free, speeding up the path towards the woods. But something loomed ahead blocking her way; a tall shape that grabbed her by the arms, smiling grimly into her face as she tried to wriggle away.
‘Going somewhere, Sylvie?’ asked Magus.
3
Yul sat under a tree listening to the soft call of wood pigeons, the peace of the golden evening like a mantle around him. He thrilled with anticipation. She’d be here soon, dancing up the path on light feet, hair rippling about her. He smiled to himself and felt a knot of excitement in the pit of his stomach. It seemed ages since they’d been alone together properly; not since the eve of the Summer Solstice under the yew tree. He wondered if their new intimacy would make tonight any different from the other Moon Fullnesses they’d spent together. Maybe afterwards, when she’d danced and sung and the desperation had calmed, they’d be able to talk. He wanted so much to hold her tight and kiss her again. He’d spent the past week dreaming about kissing her. He closed his eyes at the thought of it and sighed deeply. Not long now.
Sylvie tried to free herself from the iron grip, her hair flying about her face as she pulled and wriggled.
‘Not so fast, Sylvie! I think you’ve forgotten our deal, haven’t you? You’re off to meet up with a certain young man whom you’ve been forbidden to see, aren’t you?’
‘Let me go! I must go!’
‘Oh no you don’t! You’re staying with me, young lady.’
‘No, no, I can’t stay here! I must be up there! You let me go, you let me go—’
Magus lifted her bodily and clamped a hand over her mouth as she struggled and shrieked. He hauled her back to the gate and in through the open front door of the cottage, kicking it shut behind him, and dumped her on the sofa. She sprang up immediately so he pushed her down and sat next to her. He turned to face her, his strong hands clamped around her wrists like manacles.
‘Stop it! Stop it, Sylvie and listen to me!’
Still she struggled, trying to stand and escape his grasp.
‘Sit down!’ he shouted, thinking she’d damage her wrists if she carried on like this. ‘Sylvie, can you hear me? If you don’t calm down now I’ll have to slap you. SYLVIE!’
But she didn’t seem to hear him, kicking out and shaking her head violently from side to side. She began to shout but the words didn’t make sense. She was clearly hysterical. He released one of her wrists and slapped her sharply round the face. Her head snapped to the side, hair flying, and she went limp and pliant. She slumped down into a huddle, crying piteously.
‘Sylvie, stop it. There’s no need to cry. It didn’t hurt that much.’
He put an arm around her and she flopped against him, all the fight knocked out of her. A strange little sobbing noise came from deep within her but after a moment she started again.
‘Please, please let me go. She’s coming, she’s rising! I must be there to greet her, to honour her. Please let me go. I beg you. Please, please …’
‘Alright! We’ll go outside and you can show me what you must do. Come on then.’
She leapt up, her eyes wild, and he held on to her hand tightly. They went up the garden path, but at the gate when she tried to turn towards the woods, he pulled her round and bundled her in the other direction.
‘The woods, the hilltop, my Yul—’
‘Oh no, Sylvie! We’re not going anywhere near him. We’re going somewhere far better for moongazing.’
In the woods, Yul’s excitement had turned to anxiety. The sun had already set and it was almost time for the rising of the moon. Where was she? She’d promised to be here, so something must have happened. Had they locked her up? He decided to go to the cottage and have a look for himself. The light was fading amongst the trees as he moved silently along the path, eyes scanning and ears pricked, ready to melt into the shadows if Magus or anyone else appeared. But nobody did, and no lights were on in the cottage although dusk was falling. He crept in through the wide open front door, hoping he wasn’t walking into a trap. It was soon obvious that the place was empty. Now what should he do? Frowning, he left the cottage, closing the door behind him, and started down the lane away from the woods, unsure where to look next.
Sylvie skipped along, still tethered to Magus’ hand but tugging him forward.
She’s coming, she’s rising! I can feel her. Quick, quick, quick! I must be ready to dance and spread my wings. Quick!
Magus was mystified by the sounds she made, which were almost speech-like but didn’t make any sense. She was desperate, rigid with tension and quivering with suppressed energy. She tried to pull him into a run, frantic to reach their destination. As they climbed the path leading to the cliff top Magus held on to her tightly. The drop was treacherous in places and he didn’t want her running ahead.
Let me go! She’s here! I must dance in her quicksilver magic. She’s giving and I’m not there to receive her gift. Let me go!
With a sudden twist she freed her hand from his and flew up the path. Her bare feet skimmed the stony ground, her long gauze skirts brushing the grasses and flowers at the side. He called after her, but in vain. She was so fast, haring ahead until she reached the top of the cliff. He was fit and strong but still couldn’t keep up with her. When he reached the top a few minutes later she was already dancing. She spiralled joyfully, springing across the grass with pointed bare feet, arms outstretched to the heavens. Magus stood at the head of the path, out of breath from the rapid climb and now breathless with wonder. The great moon had risen, a glowing orb that hung brightly just above the sea. And Sylvie glowed too with a strange silvery light which laced around her body in shining threads, sparkling on her moongazy dress and glimmering hair.
Yul had reached the Hall. Keeping to the shadows, he skirted the main building trying to see inside without being seen himself. Maybe Magus and her mother had dragged Sylvie up here and shut her in one of the rooms. He saw Hallfolk sitting around on big sofas watching a large coloured screen. The lighting was different here from the candlelight he was used to, for the Hallfolk used electricity from the wind-farm. The harsh light reminded him of the byre, its bright glare making him shudder.
Yul crept around the walls peering through the windows. In other rooms people sat talking and reading. He saw servants working in the kitchen, washing up and preparing more food for the next day. He found Marigold sitting in a small room talking to Martin, and stepped back quickly from the lighted window in case they saw him. But there was no sign of Sylvie or Magus. His hopes soared at one point when he spotted Miranda curled up in a chair with a book on her lap. But Sylvie wasn’t there. So where could she be? If Magus had confined her upstairs in the Hall he’d never be able to find her.
Magus walked across the grass to the great stone, the one where he’d celebrated the Moon Fullness with Miranda and the place where he liked to honour the Moon Goddess every month with a different woman. He sat on the disc of rock and watched the incredible sight before him as Sylvie danced, arms upraised like wings. The silvery light coursed around her body and then disappeared down into the earth, shooting from her feet as she leapt and skipped. She sang too, a weird unearthly sound. Her face was turned to the great golden moon as it climbed steadily, turning more silvery the higher it rose.
Magus watched in fascination, trying to understand what the silver threads of light could be. He saw them earthing, like lightning in a storm, and guessed they were some sort of electrical or magnetic energy generated by the moon. Sylvie crackled with the force; even her hair, normally so silky, stood out thick and stiff with strange static.
He felt a churning in his stomach as he watched her; a sharp excitement as if on the verge of a special discovery.
Sylvie was oblivious to everything other than her dancing. Magus watched for what seemed like ages; he couldn’t tell for how long as, strangely, his watch had stopped. He thought she must surely be exhausted by now and noticed she was beginning to slow down, so he called to her. She appeared to listen and stepped delicately on tip-toe over to him, as he sat on the white stone. Her dress glinted in the bright moonlight, the silver embroidery catching the moonbeams.
‘Hello, Sylvie,’ he murmured. ‘That was an amazing dance. Is this what you usually do with Yul?’
But she ignored him as if he hadn’t spoken at all. He could see in the moonlight that her eyes were blank. They were strange under normal circumstances; a pale grey with a darker grey round the edge of the irises. But now they were like full moons themselves; silvery and reflective, seeing nothing but beaming out moonlight. In one graceful leap she sprang onto the great stone.
As she landed she froze, her fingers outspread in shock, and uttered a piercing cry. The silver filigree threads still laced her pale limbs, but now they poured downwards into the rock in a cascade of energy. Magus felt it with a jolt. The feeling was similar to that jolt he’d experienced on the Altar Stone at the recent Solstice sunrise. That surge had been so powerful and unexpected it had made him drop the torch. Now he thrilled as the force of the silver energy pulsed up through the stone into his body, filling him with tingling euphoria.
He looked up at Sylvie in awe. She remained frozen, her face anguished and her song silenced. Her eyes rolled to him and focused. She gazed at him in sorrow as if begging for help. The rock around her feet glowed slightly; Magus leaned over to feel it but couldn’t get his hand close enough. The energy field was very powerful, like the repelling power of two identical magnetic poles being forced together. Yet his hand, spread above the glowing rock, was absorbing the energy. Magus felt it coursing into his body, a strange icy sensation that tingled and burned. He felt strong, powerful.
