I reached for her hair and kissed her. She didn’t respond. She didn’t move when I unbuttoned her blouse. Before long, I was inside her, but her silence worried me.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
She nodded, but didn’t say a word. Maybe she was the quiet kind. Not knowing what else to do, I continued to thrust myself into her. I would’ve preferred someone more responsive, but it was still good. I wasn’t picky.
Thankfully, despite her seriousness, it hadn’t been her first time. Otherwise I might have felt bad about it.
She fell asleep after we were done, and I slowly lifted her glasses off. Without them, she looked different—she was actually quite pretty. I kissed her on her forehead before getting dressed and walking back home.
At the time when we were full of raging hormones and sex was a novelty, sleeping with a girl was considered an accomplishment. The boys came and gave me a pat on the back.
“You’re good, Ishida. How did you manage to get her?” they jokingly asked.
Somehow, I’d ended up with more friends.
What I’d lost was my girlfriend, who had heard the rumor and confronted me. When I told her all of it was true, she slapped me in front of our classmates and ran away sobbing.
Jin peered over my shoulder. “You screwed up, Ren. It’s one thing to cheat on your girlfriend, but were you actually stupid enough to admit it? Even worse, it was with that glasses girl.” He gave a dry laugh. “What’s wrong with your eyes, my friend? Have some standards.”
I glared at him.
“Hey, don’t get mad,” he said. “But seriously, you should make better use of that face. If you want, I can introduce you to my girlfriend’s best friend. She has huge jugs, I kid you not.”
I’d never told anyone, but I was glad it turned out that way. Back then, I’d been tired of my girlfriend, but couldn’t find a reason to dump her. I didn’t have the courage to break up with someone who’d done nothing wrong. Plus, my birthday was coming up, and I’d already saved up enough from my pizza delivery job for a fancy dinner. The timing hadn’t been great, as I would’ve preferred to break up after we’d made some better memories on that date, but the class rep had still done me a favor.
As for Sumida, I never spoke to her again beyond what was necessary. Even if she’d asked, I wouldn’t have slept with her again, though I was curious as to what had prompted her to approach me in the first place.
I stopped for a moment outside the zori man’s old unit. The door and windows were shut, as usual. No sign of anyone ever living there. Even when he’d been around, no one noticed him—he seemed more like a ghost than a person. Well, wherever he was, I bet he was still wearing his zori.
I went to my apartment and took a quick shower. I had some long overdue housekeeping to do. First on my list was laundry, which had been piling up from weeks of procrastination.
As I finished loading dirty clothes into the washing machine, it occurred to me that among them were the pants with the phone number of the girl with the mole on her neck in one of the pockets. I could have fished out the pants and saved the piece of paper. But instead, I pressed the start button and watched the water fill the compartment. The machine made a loud gurgling sound, revolving its contents. Shades of gray and white swirled around, and bubbles formed.
The piece of paper would have been soaked, the ink bleeding and the whirling forces tearing it to pieces. By the time I took out my pants, it would be a mushy clump.
I closed my eyes and imagined being inside the washing machine, immersed in its rolling movements. Washed along with a bunch of dirty clothes. Circling, tumbling, sloshing, submerged in the water and suspended among the bubbles. When the noise stopped, I emerged damp but clean.
If only the soul could be cleansed that way.
I had almost fallen sleep when someone knocked on my door. I rubbed my eyes and glanced at the clock. It was past midnight. One thing I’d learned was anyone visiting so late was probably someone I didn’t want to see. I ignored the knocking and continued to sit there, watching the washing machine.
But my guest was persistent and had started pounding on the door. I grunted. At this rate, the neighbors downstairs would complain. Left with no choice, I got up to answer the door.
It was Seven Stars. This time, too, she was still in her school uniform.
“Don’t.” She held the door with her hand before I could shut it. “I just want to talk. I promise I won’t cause any problems.”
Again, she walked into my apartment without my consent. I closed the door but didn’t move from where I was standing.
“Well,” I said, “what do you want to talk about?”
She turned to look at me. “I’ve heard you’re quitting.”
“I was only supposed to teach until winter break.”
“They offered you a permanent position, but you turned them down.”
“You’re well-informed, young miss.”
She didn’t react to my condescension. “Are you going back to Tokyo?”
“Yes,” I said. “I’ve finished what I wanted to do here.”
“Finding your sister’s murderer?”
I froze. This girl really knew how to catch me off guard.
“My father isn’t lying when he says he doesn’t know where my mother is. She completely disappeared from our lives.” She looked into my eyes, unfazed. “What are you planning to do now? Are you going to track her down?”
I shrugged. “What for?”
“Revenge.”
“That’s not going to fix anything.”
“Aren’t you angry that I didn’t tell you?”
I shook my head. “I wouldn’t have believed you, anyway. I needed to find the answers myself.”
Seven Stars crossed her arms. “Miss Ishida and my father . . . They went on for years, you know. I bet you didn’t have a clue. I found out about it even before my mother did.”
“Is that why you started stealing bubble gum?”
She shrugged and muttered, “Probably.”
“Did you learn anything from it?”
“Not really—the difference is huge. I was stealing bubble gum, not someone’s husband,” she said. “Mr. Ishida, has your opinion of your sister changed? Now that you know what kind of person she was, do you regret going to all this trouble for her?”
“I never saw it as trouble,” I said. “My sister was just a normal girl. When she was your age, she was as naïve as you are.”
Seven Stars’ expression hardened, and her eyes narrowed. I realized I was being insensitive—of course she resented being compared to my sister.
“Mr. Ishida, did you know my mother almost killed me once?”
Her words hit me hard.
“My father had tried to leave us for Miss Ishida. Of course, my mother didn’t take it well. She drove my father and me to a deserted area outside of town after spiking our drinks with sleeping pills. She wanted to kill all three of us using the car’s exhaust. But things didn’t go according to plan, because I woke up.”
I stood still, speechless.
“My father promised us so many times that he would end the affair, but he never did. And I’m a nasty person, Mr. Ishida. I think your sister deserved her death. She shouldn’t have kept forcing her way into our lives. She even left something of hers in our house, hoping to be discovered.”
I cleared my throat. There was only one thing I could think of. “It was the knife, wasn’t it?”
She pursed her lips. “So you knew.”
“I bought it for her,” I said. “It was a birthday present.”
“You have weird taste, Mr. Ishida.”
“It was practical.”
Seven Stars paced around my tiny living room, her arms still crossed. “The knife is still inside our kitchen cabinet. I’ll bring it here.”
; I shook my head. “Just leave it there. If you want, you can use it.”
“Why would I want to use what’s not mine?”
“My sister is dead. When a person passes away, their belongings are no longer theirs. Since I gave her the knife, let’s just say it’s become mine again, so I have the right to give it to you. You can decide whether you want to accept it or not. You can even get rid of it, if you’d like.”
“Fine. I’ll consider it.” She had stopped moving and leaned against the wall. “I heard your sister was a good cook.”
“She was.”
“One day, I’m going to be a better cook than her. Would you consider going out with me then?”
“Perhaps.”
She clicked her tongue. “You’re lying.”
“Good that you know.”
Seven Stars bit her lip and lowered her head. Her hair fell into her face. “Don’t be conceited. Ten years from now, I’ll be in my twenties and drop-dead gorgeous. And you’ll be a sad uncle in your thirties. I’m going to forget all about you, but you’re going to remember me. You’re going to regret ever having turned me down.”
I smiled. “I know.”
“No, you don’t. If you knew, you wouldn’t be rejecting me.”
Her tone was flat, as if she were talking about something mundane. I had no idea what was on her mind. This girl, I could never read her.
“Are you getting back together with your Tokyo girlfriend?” she asked. “What if she doesn’t want you any more?”
I shrugged. “I’ll worry about it when the time comes.”
“Maybe she already has a new boyfriend. She could be married by now, and have given birth to a cute baby girl.”
“Hey, I’ve only been gone for six months,” I said, laughing. “It’s not like I disappeared for years.”
She looked up and mumbled, “I know.”
I walked over and stood beside her. “Honestly, you’re young and beautiful. What do you see in me?”
“Actually, I’ve asked myself the same question. What do I see in you?” She sighed. “I’ve thought about it a lot, but I don’t have an answer.”
Seven Stars unzipped her schoolbag, removed a white plastic bag, and poured out the contents. A pile of Ritter Sport Cornflakes chocolates landed on the floor.
“What—”
“You said they were your favorite, didn’t you?” she said. “But don’t eat them all at once. You’ll get fat.”
I was shocked at both the insult and the gift. “You didn’t steal them, did you?”
“Hey, that’s not fair. I promised you I would never steal again, didn’t I? How dare you accuse me of that. I paid for every single one of these.”
“Thanks, but . . .” I scratched my head. “This is too much.”
She laughed, and I laughed too. After we stopped laughing, we looked at each other for a moment. Suddenly, she inched forward and planted her soft lips on mine. It happened so quickly, I didn’t have time to react. I stared at her, dumbfounded.
“Goodbye,” she whispered before walking to the door.
Seven Stars left without looking back. I took it as a sign that she didn’t expect an answer.
After she was gone, I crouched down and gathered all the chocolates. There were fifty-eight in total. Flashy indeed. I unwrapped one and took a bite. It was already half-melted.
Deep down, I’d known she was serious about me. And I couldn’t deny I was drawn to her. It was completely different from what I felt toward Nae. If my relationship with Nae was gentle and uplifting, then what I had with Seven Stars was the complete opposite. Things between us were intense and destructive, like a raging storm.
32
The
Train
Station
and a
Chinese
Movie
On my last day of work, I dropped by Mr. Katou’s office on the way to Yotsuba. I’d wanted to pay him one last visit, but I was told he’d resigned from his job.
The receptionist flashed me a professional smile. “Mr. Katou wished to spend more time with his family.”
“Do you happen to know where he’s living now?” I asked.
She shook her head. “I’m sorry, I have no idea.”
From the tone of her voice, I could tell she wouldn’t give me any information even if she’d had it. Since the office was near Segayaki, I went to his old house, hoping the new owner might know something.
I pressed the doorbell and waited. A petite middle-aged woman opened the door.
I greeted her, “Good morning. I’m looking for Mr. Katou.”
“I’m afraid he’s no longer living here,” the woman said. “He moved out several weeks ago when we bought the house.”
“Do you happen to know where he went?”
She shook her head. “After we signed the contract, he gave us his office number. But when I called a few days ago, I was told he had resigned and left Akakawa.”
“I see.” I bowed to her. “I apologize for taking up your time.”
“Please don’t worry about it,” she said before closing the door.
Because I’d left my apartment early in anticipation of spending some time speaking to Mr. Katou, I ended up reaching Yotsuba nearly two hours ahead of my first class. With some time to kill, I called the kimono lady on the phone at the reception desk.
“Good morning, this is the Katsuragi Hotel,” a woman’s voice answered. “How may I assist you?”
I cleared my throat. “I’m looking for Mrs. Katsuragi.”
“This is she. May I know who’s speaking?”
“It’s Ren Ishida.”
There was a pause before she responded, “Yes, Mr. Ishida. What can I do for you?”
“I was hoping to contact Mr. Katou, but I have no idea of his current whereabouts. He’s resigned from his post and left Akakawa. Do you happen to know where he might be?”
“I’m afraid not.”
“He mentioned his wife was going to stay with relatives in Hakone, so he might be there as well. Perhaps you know someone there?”
She sighed. “I have no clue, Mr. Ishida. And to tell you the truth, even if I did, I wouldn’t say anything. The fact that he didn’t let anyone know where he was going means he wants to be left alone. It would be a terrible mistake to rouse a sleeping tiger, don’t you think?”
I kept quiet.
“Please heed my earlier advice and stay away from him. This will do you no good.”
“I’ll keep it in mind.”
I put down the phone and walked upstairs. What the kimono lady had told me made sense. For such a high-profile man to disappear from a small town like Akakawa could only mean he didn’t want to be disturbed. I decided to give the matter a rest.
The principal called me into his office to give me my last paycheck.
He passed me the envelope. “Thank you for your hard work.”
I bowed and took it from him. “Thank you for taking care of me.”
“Say, Ishida, do you have any plans tonight? It’s our tradition to go out drinking whenever a staff member is leaving. I should have told you earlier, but it slipped my mind.”
“Sure, let’s do that.”
He led me out and announced to the rest of the staff that we were hitting the bar that night. Everyone cheered. Most of them had anticipated the drinking session.
“Time flies, doesn’t it? It’s already your last day,” Honda said. “We’re going to the bar by the train station. It’s called Blue Note. Do you know which one it is?”
I nodded. “I’ve passed by it a couple of times.”
“We always go to the same place. It’s close by and affordable, and the owner is the principal’s old high school friend. Are you a big drinker?”
“Not really.”
Honda leaned in toward me. “Listen carefully, this is the deal. They’re not going to let you off until you’re drunk. You need to pretend to be intoxicated and do something embarrassing, like sing loudly or do a funny dance.”
I laughed. “I would rather get drunk than do what you just suggested.”
“Or you can pretend to fall asleep. Unless you’d prefer to actually be drunk.”
“I could do that,” I said, “pretend to fall asleep.”
“Good. I’m going to play the hero and get you back to your apartment.” He patted my shoulder. “Is there anything you need to bring home?”
“Thanks, but I’ve been doing that over the past few days. Everything else fits into my bag.”
“All right, enjoy your last day of teaching.”
Seven Stars came to my class and acted as if nothing had ever happened between us. It was your standard student-teacher interaction, except that she handed in a strange composition entitled “The Train Station” as her homework assignment. I could tell it wasn’t something she’d written using the prompt I’d given.
The Train Station
by Rio Nakajima
A woman recounted her dream to her male companion.
“I could still remember it clearly after waking up,” she said. “In my dream, I was stranded at a quiet train station. Service was delayed due to heavy snowfall. I sat on an old wooden bench, waiting for the time to pass, feeling cold and lonely.”
She turned to him, hoping for his response, but he seemed uninterested.
“And then I saw you,” she continued. “You were sitting alone on the bench next to mine, waiting for your train, too.”
Still, he said nothing.
“You looked at me, so I worked up the courage to talk to you,” she said. “You were friendly. I was having a great time. I wished the train would never come.”
He mustered a smile, even though he wasn’t sure whether that was the response she was looking for.
“Not long after, I heard the sound of the train approaching. I woke up without knowing whose train arrived first.”
The story ended there, but the ending didn’t read like an ending.
Rainbirds Page 25
