“Are you… what is it?”
Cold regret enveloped her like a rain cloud. She wrapped her arms over her breasts. Somehow, they were naked, and she didn’t even remember him removing her bra. “I have a boyfriend. And a job. I can’t just … come to my apartment and do this with you. It’s the middle of a work day.”
His lips compressed into a line of disapproval. He was reasonably certain she would not take well to the news that he’d arranged for her to be out all afternoon. He suspected she might think his actions heavy handed.
“Boyfriend.” Giac closed his eyes in revulsion at the term. “I know you don’t feel like that in his arms.”
Annie’s breath was labored. She reached for a throw from the back of her sofa and wrapped it around her shoulders. “And you? Did you enjoy making love to your wife as much as you did me?”
He swore. “I’ve never known anything like what we shared.”
His honesty made her heart splinter. “None of this makes any sense.” She fixed him with a stare, and she had no idea how desolate her expression was. Annie shook her head slowly from side to side, so that her inky black hair formed a dark cascade down her naked back. “I just know that it doesn’t end well for us, Giac.”
He frowned. “How? How do you know this?”
She threw her hands in the air. “Because! Look at what you did to me?” She stuffed her hand against her mouth, in an attempt to stifle a sob. It didn’t work. “Do you have any idea what that felt like?”
Though his expression was inscrutable, she just knew that her accusation sat uncomfortably with him. It was in his body language. The way his hands were jammed into his pockets; the way his eyes could only hold hers for a few moments, before flicking to the door. “I tried to explain at the time.”
She shook her head from side to side. “I didn’t want to hear it then, and I don’t want to hear it now.”
He moved to stand in front of her, and used the pad of his thumb to wipe away tears she hadn’t even known were falling. “What do you want?” It was a quietly spoken request.
She didn’t respond immediately, and he persisted. His tone was gravelly. “Tell me, and I will do it, cara.”
Annie closed her eyes. Her voice was barely a pained whisper. “I want you to go away.”
When she opened her eyes, moments later, Giac Medici had left. With a sinking heart, she realized that wasn’t what she’d wanted at all.
CHAPTER SIX
Two days passed with no word from Giac. By the third night, Annie made herself face facts. He was gone. Unless she went to him, their relationship was over.
In the middle of her brother Stu’s impromptu rave, she stood still, like a solitary beacon amongst party pandemonium. Well-heeled revelers swelled around her, dancing in time to the cruisy beats her brother was pumping out from beneath the shade of a huge, old Maple tree. As summer nights went, it was perfect. The sun was still shining, despite the lateness of the hour, the food was delicious, the guests a good assortment of small-time celebrities and local color, and her date was more attentive than she could ever need.
She forced a smile as Thomas weaved back through the crowd, holding two plastic cups almost overflowing with champagne.
“Thanks,” she took it, but didn’t drink from it. She didn’t want to drink. She didn’t want to numb the pain she was feeling. It was the only assurance she had that she’d done the right thing.
“Your brother always knows how to throw a good bash, doesn’t he?” Thomas asked conversationally, casting an admiring glance around them.
She nodded, her smile paper-thin.
“I should ask him to put together my next launch party.”
Annie nodded again. She’d come to the impromptu event straight from work, and she stuck out like a sore thumb in a pair of fitted black pants and a Laura Ashley blouse. At least she’d had a moment to let her hair down, and put some fresh make up on.
“Are you okay?” Thomas put a hand lightly on her elbow, jolting Annie out of her reverie. For some reason, he was infuriating her. Things she used to find attractive about him, like his toffee accent and floppy hair, now seemed contrived and false.
“Of course.” Too high pitched. Too squeaky. “I’m fine.”
His eyebrows knitted together, and Annie knew that she was about to blow everything with Thomas, just because Giac had briefly reappeared in her life. She tried harder to sound normal; to seem truly fine. “I’m just tired. I’ve had a huge week.”
“Ah.” Thomas winked with understanding. “The pressures of the corporate world. What would I know of that?”
Annie threw him a look of amusement, though inside, she was still totally shell-shocked by the realization that she would do whatever it took to keep Giac in her life. “How is your exhibit going?”
Thomas was willingly led onto his favorite subject – himself, and his success in the art world. As a child, he’d been told he’d never amount to much. He was a rather pale and weak child, born to an aristocratic family of beautiful, athletic children. Thomas had never been expected to excel. The fact that he was an unqualified success was rewarding beyond measure.
Annie wished, for the hundredth time that week, that she could like him more. She so admired his spirit and determination. Admiration, though, was not enough. She knew she had to end things with him. Whatever she wanted with Giac had little to do with it. She was wrong to lead a man on, when she knew her heart wasn’t in it.
“You know,” he spoke seconds before she could. “I think I might be falling for you.”
Annie was aghast. “Thom,” she tried not to show her panic in her voice. “That’s really nice, but…” she took in a deep breath, searching for words.
He interrupted, lifting a pale finger to her lips. “Don’t say anything right now. You don’t need to. It’s just… I wanted you to know how I feel.”
She shook her head, her green eyes expressive. “We’ve only been dating a few months.”
“Five,” he admonished, kissing the tip of her nose.
“Five months.” She gulped past that realization. “We haven’t even slept together.”
His smile was suggestive. “And I respect your desire to wait. I respect you.”
She flinched inwardly. With every perfect recitation he made, she craved another man. It was awfully unfair to Thomas. She had to end it with him.
“Hey, sis.”
She turned guiltily, to find Stu standing behind her, his matching green eyes speculative as he summed up the situation.
“Stu.” She smiled, relieved for the brief respite from the heavy discussion she’d been about to launch. “Great party at twenty four hours notice.”
His smile was lopsided, his handsome face tanned from a month in Ibiza. He linked an arm through her elbow. “Can I see you for a moment? Alone?”
She slid an apologetic gaze to Thomas. He was already engrossed in conversation with another party goer. Wherever they went, Thomas Jones was regarded as a valuable commodity.
“What is it?” She asked, as Stu shepherded her away from the crowd, towards the makeshift bar.
“You could not look more bored if you tried.”
Her laugh showed her offense. “Nonsense. I’m having a blast.”
“Mmmm.” He eyed her carefully. “You forget how well I know you, dear sister.”
“Well,” she shrugged. “I’ve come straight from work and I’m exhausted, truth be told.”
“It’s more than that. What’s going on?”
She bit down on her lip, her eyes unconsciously drifting to Thomas.
“Don’t tell me. It’s not working. You’re going to dump him.”
She shook her head to deny it, but couldn’t quite meet his eyes.
“I should have known. You’ve hit five months. The relationship has certainly run more of its course than I expected.”
She frowned. “We’re just not right for each other.”
“Not to hear him speak,” Stu contradicted. He h
ad known Thomas for years; he had introduced the artist to his sister, believing that they would be a good pair. “He talks like you’re the woman of his dreams.”
“No. He’s just… an excitable character.”
Stu pulled a face. “Not the word I would use to describe him.”
Now, she sipped on her drink. “What can I say? I tried.”
“Is it Him?”
She shook her head, a little too forcefully. She’d never really told Stu the details about her relationship with Giac. It had been enough to turn up, sobbing on his doorstep, declaring, dramatically, that all men were bastards. Over the years, a few little bits of information had been eked out, but for the most part, it was her private grief and shame.
“No. I just don’t feel that magical connection with Thomas.” She looked at him. “Like when you met Chloe, and you just knew.”
Stu fixed his sister with a steady glance. “Chloe’s having an affair. I’m pretty sure we’re over.”
All thoughts of Giac and Thomas and her overwhelming desires fled from her mind. “No!” She denied, disbelief etched in every line of her face. “She can’t be.”
He grimaced. “I found them in bed together.”
“Who? Who’s the other man?”
“Her boss.” He shook his head. “Can you believe it? I’m living in the middle of an emotional cliché. I always thought she hated the guy. To hear her speak, he was an arrogant bastard who made her life hell.”
Silently, Annie speculated that arrogant bastards had a fair bit going for them. But for Chloe to have cheated on Stu was shocking. They’d been inseparable for over a decade. “What does Chloe say?”
Stu shrugged, looking down at the paved courtyard. The sun was dipping lower in the sky, and the pretty fairy lights strung across the back garden now shone to full, twinkling effect. “She says she’s sorry. That she doesn’t know what she wants.”
Annie knew how that felt. “Woah. I’m so sorry.” She hugged her brother. “You want my advice?”
“I don’t know. Do I?” He was half-teasing.
“If you love her, don’t let her go without a fight.” She swallowed past the lump in her throat. No one had ever loved her enough to fight for her.
Now, Giac was trying to win her back, but it was as some kind of consolation prize. A second chance at their affair, not because he cared enough to put her front and center in his life. She smiled, a watery, reflective grimace for the brother she adored. “Just make sure she knows that you are willing to move past this. That you want a life with her above anything else.”
“I don’t know that I do.” He placed his cup on the table and looked at Annie directly. “You know I love Chloe. She’s my best friend. But infidelity is pretty fucking hard to forgive, don’t you reckon?”
Annie jerked her head in agreement. “I guess it depends on the circumstances. If it was a one off, well, that’s different to an ongoing affair. You have to talk to her, Stu.” She reached out and rubbed his forearm. “Find out what she wants. Don’t worry about what you ‘should’ feel. Just do what seems right at the time. Trust your instinct.”
“I guess I don’t know what I want either.”
She nodded, comprehension coming easily to her. After all, she was at her own emotional cross roads, and she understood that uncertainty was a natural feeling to have. Only she wasn’t uncertain. Not really. In a moment of clarity, she saw how wrong it was to stay with Thomas. Giac was irrelevant to the equation. When she’d thought she and Thomas had both wanted the same thing – someone to go places with, to have some fun with, without getting too serious – then it was fine. But he’d just begun a declaration of affection she could never match.
“You’ll work it out. Try not to make a decision like this when you’re angry.”
His face was bleak. “Will I ever not feel angry again?”
She shrugged. Had her anger for Giac ever really died? Yes, it had. It had been replaced by sadness and pain, and miscomprehension. “I guess you’ll feel less angry if you really understand what brought all this on. You need to talk to her. I hate that she’s hurt you, but Chloe is a great person. She’ll be sick over this.”
He forced a smile to his face. “Maybe. What about you and Thom?”
Annie met her brother’s curious gaze. “I have to break up with him.”
Stu made a noise of frustration and threw his hands in the air. “Because he’s perfect for you, and worships the ground you walk on?”
“Yes.” Her eyes beseeched him to understand. “I don’t feel that way for him. I don’t want to lead him on. Not now that I know how serious he is about me.”
Thomas stared at his sister long and hard. “I don’t know what you want, Annie, but Thomas seems to make you happy.”
“We should have stayed friends,” she muttered, putting her drink down and reaching for a water bottle.
“I’d give you some relationship advice, but I’m hardly in the best place to be handing out counsel.”
They watched the party in silence for a few moments, before Annie changed the subject. “Who’s your new protégé?” She asked, tilting her head towards the young woman who’d taken to the makeshift stage and was running the decks.
“She’s good, isn’t she? Found her at a gig in Clapham.”
“Yeah, she’s good.”
Annie’s eyes dropped from the stage, and landed on a familiar pair of almond shaped eyes. “Hey, Stu. Chloe’s here.”
He swore. “She said she couldn’t make it.”
“Go talk to her. Just… be gentle.”
He looked at her with confusion. “You’re serious? Would you be gentle if some guy had reached down your throat and ripped your heart out?”
Annie shook her head. “No. But that’s the best part about telling people what to do with their lives. You can see the picture clearly. Trust me, you’ll regret throwing away what you have if you don’t make absolutely certain of what you want first.”
“Who made you so clever?” He teased, squeezing her hand in farewell before cutting through the crowd in the direction of Chloe.
It was almost an hour later before she ran into Thomas again. He was talking to a group of partygoers but broke off when she approached.
“I’m going to head home,” she said quietly.
“Sure. I’ll come with you.” He put an easy arm around her shoulder.
“No, no. You stay. You’re having fun. Besides, I think Stu might need moral support.”
Thomas followed the direction of Annie’s stare, and saw Stu at the mixing table, with a subdued looking Chloe beside him. “I guess you’re right.”
“Would you walk me to the front though?”
“Of course. Do you take me for a philistine?”
She smiled, leading the way through the crowded back garden, and through Stu’s townhouse.
Annie took in a deep breath, steeling herself for what she was about to do. “Thomas, we need to talk.”
His face went from happy to concerned in a split second. “What about?”
She bit down on her lip. “I thought we were both in this for a bit of light-hearted fun. If I had known you were getting serious feelings for me, I never would have allowed it.” She fixed him with her shimmering, green eyes. “I care about you too much to keep seeing you. Not when our feelings are so out of synch.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m so sorry, Thom. I think of you as a friend. A good friend. And I wish I could see a future for us. But I don’t.”
He nodded, a slow nod, one of dawning comprehension. “This is because I told you I’m falling for you.”
She took both his hands in hers. “I should have ended it a while ago. I suspected you were getting serious, but it was easy to convince myself I was wrong. I was selfish. I like being with you. I love hanging out with you. But I know I’m not in love with you.”
“Woah. I think this is the first time I’ve ever been dumped before.”
She looked
into his handsome face, and smiled. “I can well understand that. I’m sorry to be the one doing it to you.”
“Don’t.” His smile was laced with disappointment. “I’ll get over it.”
“Can we still be friends?”
Thomas had never remained friends with a woman, post-break-up. Then again, he’d never been with anyone like Annie Carlton before. “We’ll see.”
As she slipped into a cab and headed home, Anne breathed easily for the first time in a fortnight. It was as though a huge weight had been lifted from her chest, and she was free. Free to do what she really wanted.
Except she wasn’t free; not really. The past was an inexorcisable ghost that bound her actions, whether she liked it or not.
Unless she could forget that feeling of pain, she could never move on.
The weekend loomed before her, no plans, and no desire to do anything except brood. By Sunday afternoon, she’d cleaned her apartment to a sheen, prepared a week’s worth of meals, and caught up on the latest Real Housewives episodes. It was actually a relief when Monday rolled around and she could finally fill her days with enough distraction to blot out thoughts of Giac.
* * *
“This is a sexual harassment case waiting to happen,” Lincoln muttered, staring long and hard at his good friend and boss.
Giac’s smile was wolfish. “Believe me, it will not come to that.” He spoke with a certainty he didn’t feel. He’d given Annie space, to work out what she wanted, but she’d gone to ground. He’d realized she wasn’t going to come back to him without some further encouragement.
“I don’t like this. Annie Carlton is just a kid.”
“She’s twenty five,” Giac interrupted, a hard edge to his voice.
“And you’re thirty six,” Lincoln persisted. “You’re in the middle of a marriage break up. I don’t feel right setting her up like this.”
Giac tried a different tact. “We need a lawyer for the Paris trip. Why not Annie?”
Lincoln frowned. Though he had reservations, he knew better than to set himself at odds with Giacomo Medici. The man always, without fail, always got what he wanted. If he had decided he wanted to ease his loneliness with Annie Carlton, the woman didn’t stand a chance.
The Medici Mistress: Nothing and no one would stop him from having her. Page 6
