“I don’t think I’m in the mood to do that.”
“Then I’ll call the police.” Honor grabbed her phone from the corner of the desk. “Do you want me to call the police?”
“It wouldn’t be my first choice of the day, but Eliot still has the cash he hoarded over the weekend so he can pay for my bail. If you feel you need to call the police, you should do so.”
Honor moved her jaw, her eyes widening. “But … why would you risk that? No one wants to go to jail.”
“I’ve been in jail a few times. It’s not as bad as everyone pretends. It’s county jail – or maybe even city jail – and it’s nothing like those prison shows on television. Besides, as long as I don’t physically harm you, I won’t be arrested. This is technically a campaign office and open to the public. The cops won’t want to deal with the press associated with my arrest, so … .”
Honor wrinkled her nose. “And you’ll be happy for them to try because you’ve got a juicy story to tell.”
“See, the thing is, I’m not sure how juicy it really is,” I noted. “I get that it seems like a big deal to you – and it’s definitely not nothing – but it’s hardly akin to corporate espionage or Alias level spy missions.”
“Then why not let it go?”
“Because I can’t. It’s too good of a story. When Tad finds out he’s going to melt down.”
“He doesn’t have to find out.” Honor sounded almost desperate. “Please, he won’t take it well.”
“You can say that again,” Tad announced as he stalked into the room from the back hallway. I jolted at the sight of him. I hadn’t heard the back door open and I’d glanced in that direction several times and didn’t see him. That meant he could’ve been eavesdropping for a long time. “I can’t believe this was going on right under my nose. I should’ve smelled the Avery-sized rat in the henhouse days ago.”
Something about the way he phrased it made me realize that he very probably thought something else was going on. I was about to relay that information to Honor, but she was already speaking and it was too late.
“I’m so sorry, Mr. Ludington.” She sounded and looked downright pathetic as she hopped to her feet. “I swear I didn’t tell my mother anything I shouldn’t have told her. When they assigned me to this race I tried to get out of it, but my professor said trades weren’t allowed. I needed to pass my class. I swear I didn’t tell my mother about your campaign plans. I wouldn’t do that.”
Tad’s expression was hilarious. “What?”
Honor was equally confused. “What do you mean, ‘What?’”
“He didn’t know what we were talking about,” I supplied. “He thought we were working together to take him down – and that was enough to get his panties in a bunch – but he didn’t hear the part about Elizabeth Justice being your mother, so you were still in the clear.”
Honor’s face went slack. “Well, he’s heard it now.”
“Yes, and it’s going to be fun for everyone,” I enthused, clapping my hands before gesturing toward Tad. “Hit it, Boy Wonder.”
Tad scowled. “I cannot believe this, but it makes so much sense!” He was practically screeching he was so gleeful. “I knew that someone had to be leaking my information. That’s how the other candidates always managed to get ahead of me.”
“Yeah, that’s how it happened,” I drawled. “They weren’t simply better than you.”
“They weren’t.”
“Dream on.” I shifted in my chair. “So you know the truth. I’m going to need a statement for my article, Tad. How do you feel knowing that Elizabeth Justice was spying on you?”
“That’s not what happened.” Honor was practically apoplectic. “I swear that’s not what happened. It was an accident. I didn’t share any of your private information with my mother.”
I didn’t believe that. I knew Tad didn’t share any of his campaign plans with Honor, but that didn’t mean the girl wasn’t sharing gossip with her mother. Tad was impossible not to gossip about. He was a walking punchline, and people love to laugh.
“I feel betrayed,” Tad announced. “I feel angry. You know what? I’m so angry I’m going to call the police and have this … treasonous snake … hauled away.”
Honor turned so pale I worried she might faint. “What?”
“You heard me,” Tad spat. “I’m going to make you and your mother pay for this.”
“Oh, my … I’m going to jail.” Tears flooded Honor’s eyes. I could do nothing but take pity on her.
“You’re not going to jail,” I countered, pinning Tad with a serious look when he dared puff out his chest. “Don’t bother threatening me. We both know it won’t work. I’m not going to let you threaten that girl either. She’s not the reason you’re going to lose the election.”
“I’m going to win.” Tad was firm. “I’m going to win and I’m going to turn that commission on its head.”
“That sounds lovely … and ridiculous,” I offered. “You’re not going to win. Everyone knows the race is going to come down to Aiken and Justice. You’re a distant third.”
“Only because this one stole my ideas and passed them to her mother.”
“What ideas?” I didn’t bother to hide my disdain. “It’s a county commission election. It’s not as if it’s some huge thing with undercover operatives and potential hackers to throw off the election. Just … chill out.”
“That’s easy for you to say.” Tad showed no signs of calming down. “You’re not the one in the race of a lifetime.”
“Oh, geez.” I rubbed my forehead. “People say I’m dramatic, but you’ve got me beat by a mile.”
“I am not dramatic!”
“Right. And it’s not paranoia if they’re really out to get you, huh?”
“I don’t even know why you’re here,” Tad seethed. “I think you should go. I have a phone call to place and an aide to watch as she’s arrested.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I shot back. “And you’re not having her arrested. She didn’t do anything to you – well, other than probably laughing with her mother about what a douche you are – so I’m not going to sit here and watch you railroad her.”
“Is that a fact?” Tad was haughty. “And how do you plan to stop me?”
“Well, for starters, I’ll tell everyone about the campaign finance documents I found,” I threatened. “I’m sure the county would like to know why the numbers the clerk has on file don’t match the numbers in your bank account.”
Instead of retreating, as I expected, Tad grew even more full of himself. “Go ahead. Those weren’t my documents – and I’ll have you arrested for stealing them if you’re not careful – so I don’t care what you do. Those documents are what I collected to keep tabs on my election enemies, so … .” Tad blew a loud raspberry.
I remained sitting for a moment, his words rolling through my head. Tad realized what he’d said when it was too late to take it back.
“I didn’t mean … .”
I held up my hand to still him. “It’s too late for that. You just admitted you were keeping files on your opponents and one of them is stealing money from campaign donations.”
“I said nothing of the sort!”
“But you did.” I forgot all about Honor and her dilemma as I fixated on the new problem at hand. “You had documents on everyone else and someone found out. Brucker had those documents with him when he died. I found at least part of them downtown.”
“Where did you find them?” Tad asked. “I looked everywhere and came up empty.”
I ignored the question. “Basically that means one of your opponents killed Brucker to cover up what you found.” I brightened considerably. “Oh, man. This is going to be the best election ever!”
Tad didn’t look as if he agreed. “I’m having you arrested, too.”
“I look forward to watching you try.”
23 Twenty-Three
Rather than risk continuing an argument that he knew he’d lose, Tad start
ed shuffling toward the hallway, his intentions obvious. Eliot walked through the front door at the exact moment Tad made up his mind to flee, his voice causing Tad to freeze in place.
“What’s going on?”
“Tad was just leaving,” I replied, amused. “He let his loose lips do what they do, and now he knows he’s in trouble.”
“I’m not in trouble!” Tad was furious, his face so red I thought it was possible he might clutch at his heart and go down. If only he wore pearls, because then the visual would be complete. “I did nothing wrong.”
Eliot spared a glance for Honor. “Does someone want to fill in the blanks for me?”
“She was spying on me.” Tad extended an accusatory finger. “She was working for her mother and spying on me because they both know I’m an election genius.”
“I don’t believe anyone has ever looked at you as a genius when it comes to anything but sticking your foot in your mouth,” Eliot countered. He remained close to the door. I could tell he was poised for action should Tad make a move in my direction. It was a ridiculous assumption. Tad was a runner, not a fighter.
“Then why spy on me?” Tad challenged.
“I’m pretty sure the entertainment factor alone was enough.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “I want to know where you got those documents and what you were planning to do with them.”
“I don’t answer to you,” Tad snapped. “Besides, you can’t prove those documents were mine.”
“You just said they were.”
“I think you misheard me.” He turned a weighted gaze to Honor. “Isn’t that right?” Something unsaid passed between them and Honor swallowed hard. She understood what Tad was insinuating. If she agreed with him, he wouldn’t call the cops and report her.
“Of course it’s right,” Honor said, jutting out her chin. “I didn’t hear him mention anything about financial documents.”
I didn’t bother to hide my eye roll. “Whatever. I know what I heard, and now I know where to look.” That was a bit of a lie. I had no idea where I was going to look next. Tad didn’t need to know that, though. “This is going to be a great story by the time I’m done with it.”
“You can’t prove I had those documents.” Tad was firm. “If you accuse me of anything, I’ll sue you and that rag you work for. I’ll have you locked up. Heck, I’ll … do something far worse to you than I can say in mixed company.”
In mixed company? Wow, he really was serious.
“I wouldn’t threaten her if I were you,” Eliot warned. He remained intent on the conversation, but even he realized Tad was all talk and his frame unlocked. “I don’t take it well when people threaten my girlfriend. I believe you’re already aware of that.”
“I can’t figure out why she’s your girlfriend in the first place,” Tad argued. “She’s a terrible person. You could do much better.”
“Oh, did you hear that, Eliot?” I taunted. “I think he’s hitting on you. He must be hard up after his wife left him. And everyone else in the county knows he’s a douche, so they won’t touch him.”
“I am a desirable man!” Tad’s voice was so high-pitched I was surprised the neighborhood dogs didn’t start howling. “You’re just jealous because I dumped you. She begged me to stay when it happened. No, she did. She got down on her knees and begged!”
He wanted me to match his tone, irritate me to the point where I attacked him. I wasn’t an idiot. “Actually, I thanked the Force that it was over so I didn’t have to fake orgasms any longer. It was starting to get tedious, and they don’t give Oscars for performances like that … although they totally should.”
“I’m a stallion in bed,” Tad said. “Numerous people have told me that.”
I racked my brain. “You dated like, one person before me – I know, because that’s initially why I thought you were so bad in bed – and then you hopped on Maria right after. You guys only separated a few months ago and the divorce isn’t final yet. Who are all these women you’ve been sleeping with who want to saddle you?”
Tad widened his eyes. “I … you … what?”
I decided to go with it. His discomfort was worth wasting a few minutes. “Oh, were you cheating on your wife?” I flicked my eyes to Eliot. “You heard him admit that, right? I think the god-fearing voters in Macomb County will want to know about that. How many times did you cheat on her?”
“I never cheated on my wife!” Tad was beside himself. “You’re putting words in my mouth.”
“You just said a lot of people have equated you to a stallion in bed,” I argued. “I didn’t make you say that. I would like to know who these people are for verification.”
“I don’t have to tell you anything!”
“Fine. I’ll just put in the article that you believe you’re a stallion in bed, relate the timeline between relationships and then add that you refused to supply names for proof. I’m sure that will be just as entertaining as admitting you’re a cheating bastard.”
“You are the worst person ever.” Spittle formed at the corners of Tad’s mouth as he glared. “I hope you get an incurable disease.”
“I’ve often hoped that for you. When I picture the disease that takes you out, it’s like syphilis – only it makes you bad in bed – and they name it after you. Tad Ludington Disease. It comes with genital warts, verbal discharge and an uncontrollable urge to scratch one’s butt.”
Tad’s mouth dropped open. “You are without a doubt the worst person I’ve ever met.”
“I’m thinking of having business cards made up with that claim.” I risked a glance at Eliot and found his shoulders shaking with silent laughter. “What?”
“I don’t know why I worry about you,” Eliot said. “You always find the line you shouldn’t cross and then proceed to leap over it.”
“I can’t believe you find her funny,” Tad complained. “As for everything else … I’m done here.” He turned to Honor. “You’re relieved of your duties. Please make sure I never see you again.”
Honor nodded. “I’ll be out of here in five minutes.”
“Good. Lock the door on your way out.” Tad turned back to me a final time. “If I see you again, you’d better be prepared for war.”
“Oh, I’m already prepared for war. In fact, I’m looking forward to it.”
“That’s so like you.”
Tad turned on his heel and stalked down the hallway, slamming the back door so hard the entire suite shook. I was grinning from ear to ear when I turned to Eliot. “This has turned into a great day. I’m glad I suggested coming here first.”
“I’m not,” Honor complained. “How am I supposed to explain this to my professor?”
“If you’re lucky you won’t have to explain anything,” I replied. “Tad will be busy for the home stretch. Leave now and don’t look back.”
“But … what if he says something to my professor?”
“Then you’ll have to explain yourself. You might get lucky, though. I’m going to keep Tad busy for the next forty-eight hours. That could bode well for you.”
“I suppose you want me to thank you.” Honor looked as if that was the last thing she wanted.
“No. I don’t expect thanks. Just … stay out of things for the duration. If you don’t, things could get uglier.”
“Uglier than they are now?”
“You’d be surprised how ugly Avery can make things when she puts her mind to it,” Eliot offered. “She’s right. Stay out of it for now. I have a feeling wherever Avery decides to go next things will end up even worse. That means you might be able to slip under the radar.”
“That boggles the mind. Things being worse, I mean.” Honor grabbed her purse from under the table. “What are you going to do?”
I didn’t have an answer … at least not yet. “I’m going to figure out which of the candidates is hiding money and go from there.”
“How are you going to do that?”
“I don’t know, but I’ll figure it out.”
&nb
sp; “You always do,” Eliot agreed. “Where are we heading?”
“Mount Clemens.”
“That’s a bit vague.”
“That’s all I’ve got for the present moment.”
“Then let’s go. I can’t wait to see what that devious mind thinks up next.”
That made two of us.
MARY WINTERS, THE COUNTY clerk, was behind the main desk when I entered the clerk’s office. I expected an assistant, but the woman in charge merely raised her eyebrows when she saw me approaching. I didn’t make Eliot wait outside, but I warned him about saying too much. He found the admonishment annoying, but managed to contain his temper … just barely.
“Ms. Shaw.” Mary smiled as if she were giving a lecture in front of a kindergarten class. “I’m surprised to see you in here today. I thought you’d have your hands full with the election.”
“I plan to attend those events, but it’s not even lunch yet. All of those are scheduled for this afternoon and into the evening. I’m especially looking forward to Aiken’s event at the Polish center because I loved stuffed cabbage. Oh, and kielbasa. I can’t get enough of big sausages.”
Instead of being amused by my crude remark – which is what I was going for – Mary merely pressed her lips together.
“I don’t think she finds you funny,” Eliot whispered.
I figured that out myself, so his observation rankled. “She’s clearly exhausted from the run-up to the election. She’ll think back on it later and laugh.”
“I’m sure that will happen.”
“Did you need something?” Mary asked.
“I do.” I wasn’t sure how to broach the subject, so I decided to go with a roundabout approach. “I have a theoretical problem and I think you can help me solve it.”
“A theoretical problem?”
I nodded. “How would a political candidate manage to hide campaign funds?”
Mary furrowed her brow. “I guess I don’t understand what you’re asking. All candidates have to file their donor lists – including copies of checks or electronic transfers – with my office. We then copy that information and put it with the candidate’s monetary declarations.”
Extra! Extra! Dead All About It (An Avery Shaw Mystery Book 12) Page 22
