by Stacey Jay
God, he was so beautiful. Even more beautiful than when I first re-met him. Was he getting cuter every day or was this just a side effect of how progressively hung up on him I was becoming?
"Megan?"
"Yeah?"
"You… were going to say something?"
"Oh yeah." Could I be more of a loser? Getting sucked into Ethan's gorgeosity to the point of zonage? "So, I was just wondering- I mean, you know that was… yeah… but- well, the other time that we kissed, you know I was sort of upset and-"
"Megan! Ethan! Heads up!" Seconds later something wet exploded on my butt. I spun around to see London and Alana a few yards away, giggling like crazy.
"Come on! They moved the dance outside because some freak sprayed the gym with blood and it's like a biohazard or something, but it's totally turned into a big water-balloon fight! Andy brought like four hundred in the back of his pickup truck." London started giggling again after this announcement, and she and Alana ran back around the other side of the gym, stumbling over each other in a way that left no doubt they'd been drinking something other than cola before the dance.
Well, at least they didn't seem mad at me for hanging out with Ethan anymore. And they hadn't noticed that Ethan and I were hardly dressed in semi formal attire.
Maybe we should go join in and just put off talking about whatever was going on until a later date. As badly as I wanted to know how Ethan really felt, a part of me didn't want to know just as strongly. Especially if he was going to confess that he always made out with girls whenever they cried, like it was some sort of weird compulsive thing he needed to seek therapy for or something.
"Your butt's wet, isn't it?" Ethan asked as I turned back around.
"Yeah, it is," I said, blushing a little to hear Ethan talking about my butt. Slowly, I started edging down the path. "So, since I'm already wet, we might as well go join the rest of the freaks out there on-"
"You know, you've got the cutest butt I've ever seen. Like, in my entire life," Ethan said, grabbing my hand and pulling me back to him as I struggled to breathe properly. "And your eyes make me crazy and the way you smell just-"
"I smell?"
"Good! You smell good. Great, actually, and-" He broke off with a little laugh. "You're just completely gorgeous, Megan. Every single part of you."
"I am?" I asked, my voice not much more than a squeak.
"Yes, you are," he said, sounding annoyed. "That's why losers like Josh Pickle are after you, because you're hot and only going to get hotter. But that's not why I kissed you tonight."
"It's not?"
"No, well… not the only reason." He actually blushed a little then, which almost made me want to believe he meant everything he was saying. "Yes, you're hot, and yes, I can't think straight half the time around you because all I can think about is how much I want to touch you, but the reason I kissed you tonight is… I care about you. A lot." His breath rushed out really fast and he rolled his eyes, but I could tell it wasn't at me. "Just say it, idiot…"
"Say what?"
"I… love you," he said, though it looked like the words caused him indigestion.
I was going to have a heart attack. There was no doubt about it now-I was going to set a record for world's youngest coronary victim.
"I know that sounds stupid," he said, obviously misunderstanding my stunned silence. "We've only known each other again for a couple of weeks, but I've always trusted my gut. And my gut is totally gone on you. Every time I heard you were in danger or hurt, I just… I couldn't breathe. It scared me more than being surrounded by those zombies tonight. I don't want to see you with any other guy, and I don't ever want you to get hurt because I wasn't there with you."
"Ethan, you can't go out with me just because you don't want me to get hurt. And I think I handled myself pretty well in the gym," I said, because apparently some perverse part of me was intent on talking Ethan out of loving me. Couldn't I just shut up already?
"That's not why I-hell, at first I was afraid to start anything because I thought hanging around someone in Protocol would put you in danger." He laughed and pulled me closer, until I was once again surrounded by Ethan arms. This had to be the best feeling in the world. "Now I realize you totally outclass me in the ability to get yourself into major amounts of trouble. I really should stay away from you if I value my life, but I think I'm too far gone."
"Too in love with me?" I asked, needing to hear the words again.
"Yeah, too in love with you." He smiled and kissed me, really softly, on the tip of my nose and I felt the truth of his words in every shiver sweeping over my skin. Ethan loved me! "And it's okay if you don't feel that way about me yet. I think I can convince you I'm worth the trouble if you give me the chance."
"I think that can be arranged." And then I was kissing him.
Pulling his mouth down to mine and showing him how completely gone I was on him kissing him. Smiling against his lips when another water balloon exploded on his back and still another one caught me on the leg and kissing him some more. Kissing him until we were both soaking wet and were finally forced to turn on our attackers and retaliate.
And once we'd found the stash of water balloons and pelted London and Alana until their mascara was dripping black down their cheeks, we kissed some more. Right in the middle of the CHS parking lot, where anyone could see, and I didn't care. An hour ago I might have been Megan Berry, zombie queen, but right now I was just Megan, average teen, a girl learning that even nights like this one could have a happy ending.,.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
So many people to thank, so I'll just dive right in. First off, thanks to my amazing agent Caren Johnson. You rock in so many ways I cannot count them all. Thanks so much for your unfailing support. Thanks also to the entire Razorbill team, and especially to Laura Schechter and Ben Schrank who were vital in making this book something I am so proud of.
And more heartfelt thanks to some of the people who offered encouragement and support along the way: To Susannah Berryman, teacher, friend, and amazing lady. Thank you for being one of the first people to make me think I could do this writer thing. To Aida Iglesias, the best ex-mother-in-law in the world, for all her help when I was a new mommy and a new writer and struggling to balance the two. (Also a big shout out to Dr. Hector, Aida's partner in crime, and a man who has pulled my sickly family back from the edge of a zombie outbreak countless times. Thank you!) To my critique partner, Stacia Kane, without whom I could not have made it through some of the stickier bits of this writing life. I treasure your friendship so much, you talented woman!
And because I like to save the best for last, an enormous, slightly teary and emotional thanks to my family. To my mother, Carol, my friend and guide and one of the best people I know. To my husband, Mike. I don't know what I did to deserve such a fabulous, loving, best friend of a partner (but I'm keeping you, so don't even try to escape). To my girls, Laura and Ashton, and to my boys, Riley and Logan. I never thought I'd be helping raise four kids, but I wouldn't trade any of you for a huge sack full of money Lots of love and thanks for understanding that "mama has to work".
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9/19/2010
