by Scott, Tarah
TJ stood from the table and slowly crossed the room to stand in front of her. He trapped her between his overwhelming, strong and powerful body and the kitchen sink. The smell of whisky on his breath didn’t bother her. The beating of her heart thundered in her ears. She stood perfectly still afraid of what would happen if she moved.
His gaze locked on her mouth. Whiskers shadowed his cheeks. Lines creased the corners of his eyes as they narrowed and he leaned into her. His breath was warm. Dear God, he was going to kiss her. She sucked in a breath and waited.
“Good night, Allison.”
Her body went limp as he dropped his drink in the sink, turned, and left the room. With white knuckles, and weak knees, she gripped the edge of the counter to keep from losing her balance. That was close…too close.
* * * * *
The following evening, Allison fed the children early. She wanted extra time to get ready for her walk with Joseph. Technically it could be called courting, but she preferred to think of it as an act of friendship.
Allison brushed the wrinkles from her favorite dress. It was one of the few possessions she had from her life in Boston. The neckline cut across her collarbone and wrapped around her shoulders leaving them bare. The deep green color matched her eyes. Carefully she centered and pinned a cameo brooch to the collar of her dress between her breasts. Montana sun had created fire-like highlights in her hair, which fell to the center of her back in soft curls. She like the way she looked. Montana made her feel beautiful. The way Joseph responded to her made her feel like a woman. Alas, TJ’s indifference rattled her most.
The cause of her frustration sat in the living room with his feet up. He opened his eyes when he heard her on the stairs. He stood.
His eyes narrowed as she came into the room. If only she could distinguish the difference between happy, mad, or apathetic. Would he comment on her dress, the way she looked? She’d studied her reflection in the mirror. The dress couldn’t be more different from her usual attire, or anything he’d ever seen her in for that matter.
“Did you get something to eat?”
He nodded. “Allison—” He was about to say more when a knock sounded at the door. “I’ll be right back.” He took two steps when she stopped him by placing a hand on his arm.
“I know who’s at the door.”
He moved her hand, went to the door, and opened it.
“Evening, TJ.” Train’s eyes immediately scanned the room to find Allison.
“I’m ready.” She loosely draped her wrap around her shoulders.
“Did you do all this for me?” He placed his hand on the small of her back.
She smiled at him and nodded.
“Where in the hell are you two going?” TJ folded his arms across his chest.
“Joseph is taking me for an evening stroll.” She placed her white gloved fingers on his forearm.
“You don’t look dressed for walking. You look ready for the opera or something.”
Allison did a small curtsy. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“This is a ranch. Your dress will be filthy.”
“A night like this, with a handsome gentleman, is worth it.”
Train and Allison walked down the front steps of the house.
“I think we can assume TJ doesn’t approve.” Train looked over his shoulder to the house. His boss was upset and Train knew why. Allison looked incredible and TJ wasn’t on the receiving end of Allison’s efforts for a change.
“I don’t see what business it is of his.”
They were across the front yard and heading down the hill before they finally heard TJ slam the door.
“I like you, Joseph. You’re the only friend I have in the whole Montana Territory. Except of course, Marion and Sandy. There were others at the brothel, but I wasn’t close to them. I suppose if I’d been there longer, I would’ve gotten to know them better. But then again, maybe not. Marion and I got along best.”
Train covered her hand with his. “Allison,” he interrupted. “I’m not real good with words, but I didn’t ask you to come walking to build a friendship. I think you know I’m interested in more.”
“I do,” she said.
A mild breeze blew her hair gently around her face. His fingers grazed her cheek, and then pulled a tendril from her eyes. “I guess we ought to put our cards on the table.”
Allison looked at the ground. “Joseph, you don’t really know me.” She started to walk again. “I don’t want to be courted. I want to go for walks with a friend I can trust. We can share supper and laugh together.”
“You just described courting.” He stopped her again. Pushing his cowboy hat higher onto his head, he leaned into her. “There’s just one other thing that goes along with courting.” He brushed his lips softly against hers.
Allison didn’t pull away. She waited for the tingle that never came. Granted, it was nice. His lips were soft and he only applied the slightest pressure. After she opened her eyes, she saw him looking at her with interest.
They walked without much conversation for a little while longer. As the skies began to grow dark, Train stopped at the bottom of the steps leading to the house. TJ had neglected to leave a lantern lit for her return.
“I’ll go in with you.” He placed one foot on the step until Allison put her hand on his chest.
“TJ didn’t look happy when we left. Your coming in wouldn’t be good for either one of us.”
He nodded his agreement. “When can I see you again?”
“Tomorrow,” she said and laughed. “I’m going to be working in the garden. Come by for a minute if you get a chance.”
“I’ll make time.” He didn’t try to kiss her lips again. Instead, he kissed her gloved hand.
Allison opened the door. The room was much darker than she expected. There was usually some light from the living room. However, because of the warm evening, TJ hadn’t built a fire.
Allison tried feeling her way to the nearest lamp. She cleaned every inch of the house. She ought to be able to find the side table without hurting herself or tipping anything over. The spark of a match startled her.
“Did you have a nice time?” TJ held the match near his face and then lit the lamp next to him.
“You scared me.” She tossed her wrap onto the chair and walked across the room with a stiff stride. “What are you doing sitting in the dark?” Her pulse suddenly jumped into an erratic rhythm. She poured two fingers of something into a crystal glass at the bar. “Can I get you a drink? I need one.” She brought the glass to her lips and swallowed the liquor. A cough erupted from her chest and her throat caught fire from the burn.
TJ vaulted out of the chair. She barely saw his quick movement. “You don’t drink, remember.” He took the glass from her trembling hand and set it back on the bar. “And I’ve already had enough.”
“I do what I want.” She poured another two fingers and drank it the same way. Her body convulsed over the taste. She swallowed, trying to get passed the vile flavor. “I am your maid and nanny,” she said, her voice hoarse. She coughed. “How does that give you the right to choose my evening activities?” Pulling off her gloves, she tossed them aside.
“You can do what you want, not with Train.” He grabbed a glass and filled it half way. His head fell back as he drank the entire amount.
Allison replenished her drink, this time taking as much as TJ.
“You’ll be sick,” he said. She narrowed her eyes and drank, wiping her mouth with her sleeve.
“If I want to drink, I’ll drink.” She pointed a finger at his face. “If I want to walk with Joseph, I will.” She brushed her hair out of her face. Either from the alcohol or the situation, she was already starting to feel dizzy. “And if he wants to kiss me again, I just might let him.” A slow, devious thought wormed into her mind. “I might let him do a lot more. Remember, I’m a whore.” She tried to brush past him, but stumbled.
He grabbed onto her arms to keep her from toppling over. She p
ulled away from his grasp. “I don’t want you to touch me.” She finished the rest of the contents in her glass and then reached for the decanter again. This time TJ took it away and placed it out of her reach.
“You’ve had enough,” he said through clenched teeth. “You’ll be drunk.”
“Why do you care?” she said, trying to pull the brooch from her dress.
“Because I like when you smell like rosewater.” The fabric tore. “Stop!” He pushed her hands away and carefully unhooked the brooch.
Allison looked at his hand against the creamy skin of her décolletage. Suddenly, she could hold very still.
TJ couldn’t seem to move his eyes off of her either. “Train kissed you.” His fingers traced the shadow of her collarbone.
Allison looked into his face and nodded. “He kissed me on our walk. He expressed his interest in me.”
TJ pulled his hand away as if her skin had become to hot to touch. “If you want to continue to work here, you’ll discourage him.”
Annoyed for letting him once again get to her, she clenched her fists at her side. “You infuriate me,” she screamed. “One minute you look as though you find me…” She searched for the right words, unable to find them. “I don’t know. You look at me the way a man looks at something he must have or die. And then you turn into a jackass.”
“Train is a little brother to me.”
“Then I think you would want to see him happy.” She sat on the couch before she fell over. The room spun.
“I do. Not with you.”
As he walked past her, she stuck out her leg stopping him.
“Alcohol makes you brave,” he said, looking down on her.
“I’m not a whore.” She pulled herself up using his shirt as leverage. She swayed, and he put his hand under her arm, helping her to her feet. “I want more from life than being your servant. Just because I find you attractive, doesn’t mean I’m going to sit around and wait for you to notice me.” She poked him in the chest. “I don’t care what you want. I don’t care who you want. Go to Sandy. If you don’t want me, stay out of the way for someone who might.” She pushed him away and wobbled to the stairs. Take that TJ, whatever your name stands for, Bester.
Chapter Seven
A wave of panic washed over Allison when she looked to the clock. TJ would be down for breakfast soon. She remembered the things she’d said last night with startling clarity. What in the world possessed her to declare her feelings for TJ? Alcohol. Sandy warned her that she couldn’t handle much. Did she listen? No, she set out to prove to TJ she lived by her own rules and managed to make a complete idiot out of herself.
“Morning,” TJ said coming into the kitchen giving Sissy a kiss on the top of her head.
Allison dropped the bowl of oatmeal she was going to feed Michael. The dish broke into three large pieces. “I’m sorry, Mr. Bester. I don’t know why I’m so clumsy this morning.” She bent down and picked up the pieces.
“Just because we had a difference of opinion last night, doesn’t mean you need to formally address me. I think we’ve moved beyond that, don’t you?” He sat at the table. “We’ve broken a few dishes, haven’t we, Sissy?”
She vigorously nodded her head. “I’m clumsy, too.”
“Mama.” Michael reached for Allison when she placed another bowl in front of him. Her hand stilled before handing him the spoon.
“I’m sorry,” she said to TJ. “He doesn’t understand.”
“She told him she wasn’t his mama,” Sissy said. “But he wants her to be.” Sissy put another bite of oatmeal into her mouth. “I want her to be my mama, too.”
“You have a mother.” TJ’s chair tipped over when he pushed away from the table. He stomped from the room and Allison hurried after him.
“Don’t do this to them.” She grabbed his arm.
He turned on her. “I already did! I never wanted anyone to replace their mother.” He ran his fingers through his hair.
“I won’t.” She gently laid her hand on his arm. “I won’t.”
“You already have.” He leaned back against the wall. “It’s not your fault. Hell, it isn’t anyone’s fault.”
“I won’t answer him when he calls me mama. I’ll discourage him.”
TJ looked at the ceiling. “He’s too young to understand. When he’s older, I’ll tell him about his mother.” A defeat sign spilled from his lips. “If you don’t mind, I won’t object.”
Allison stayed quiet for a moment letting TJ put his thoughts together. “Sissy has also slipped. I always correct her.”
“Not Sissy,” he snapped. “She’s old enough to know better. If she continues, you tell her she’ll be punished.”
“No. If you want to chastise her for wanting a mother, you can do it yourself. I’ll explain again and again that I’m not her mother, but I won’t be her punishment.” Allison turned and went back into the kitchen.
TJ stayed in the hall for a few minutes before joining her. “I think I’ll take a cup of coffee and some of that oatmeal,” he said, sitting next to Sissy. “We have a big barbecue over the Fourth of July. Some of the men have wives and kids. They all come up to the house and turn the shack into a dance hall.”
“Sounds like fun.”
“Oh, it is,” Sissy said. “After it gets dark, Charlie does the fireworks.”
“If it doesn’t rain soon, we won’t be doing any fireworks this year,” TJ stated.
“That reminds me,” Allison interrupted. “I need water for the vegetable garden or I’m going to lose everything. Can I ask Joseph to help me? I don’t think I’m strong enough.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Don’t even think about a retort.” She squinted her eyes as she waited for him to say something. “Good.”
He took a drink of coffee. “I’m not busy today.”
Allison hadn’t expected him to volunteer. “Thank you. I’ll finish the dishes and meet you outside.”
An hour later, Allison worked next to TJ in the garden. “How many people come to the barbecue?” She moved down the furrowed line of vegetables watering another row of young plants.
“Couple hundred, I guess.” TJ carried a large bucket filled with water and placed it near her. He took his bandana out of his pocket and wiped his brow.
“I haven’t met any of the wives yet. I—” She stopped, searching for the words. “If anyone has heard of my past, they’ll jump to conclusions.”
“They won’t. Only a few people know how you came to live here.”
She watered a couple more plants. “They’ll think there’s something going on between us.”
“I can live with that.”
“TJ!”
“At least no one else would get any ideas about courting and evening walks.”
“You aren’t being fair.”
He shrugged. “Won’t be the first time we disagree.”
She wanted to kiss the arrogant smile from his face as much as she wanted to slap it. “Somehow I think you’re right.”
“I still need to talk with Train.”
“No, you don’t. Stay out of my personal business. My relationship with Joseph doesn’t concern you.” She chewed her bottom lip. “Unless you think it’ll affect the way your other employees respond to me.”
“Doesn’t matter what they think. They won’t say anything.”
“I hope you’re right.”
TJ moved the bucket closer to her. “Will you do something with me?”
Water sloshed out of the bucket as she picked it up. “Like what?” Her words were a whisper as a shiver of awareness skittered up her spine.
TJ grinned. “Why, Allison, you’re blushing. Just what exactly are you thinking?”
Her ears burned.
He laughed. “I want to take you somewhere.” His voice touched her like a caress. “Don’t worry. I’ll get someone to finish watering your vegetables.”
She pushed her bangs out of her eyes. “I can’t go anywhere with you. What about the children?�
� She waved in the direction where Sissy and Michael played.
“I’ll get Train to watch them.”
Nausea rolled in her stomach. “I don’t think that is a good idea.” She turned away and watered another plant. “Joseph might get the wrong idea.”
He set the bucket to the side and moved to stand beside her. He pushed a tendril of hair coming loose from her bun, behind her ear. “Or he might get the right idea,” he softly spoke. His expression turned serious.
“I won’t hurt Joseph. He’s my friend.”
A slow grin split his lips. “Then we don’t have a problem. He can be your friend.” He traced her eyebrow with his thumb. “Don’t think about him. Say you’ll come with me because you want to.”
Allison closed her eyes as his finger moved along her jaw. Her heart raced as she anticipated the kiss. When it didn’t happen, she opened her eyes. Because the sun was bright overhead, she had to narrow her eyes to see him. “I’ll go with you. First you have to promise not to mislead Joseph into believing there is something going on between us when there isn’t.”
“Isn’t there?”
Her skin sizzled with his touch. Warmth bloomed in her belly and her nipples tightened. Did TJ know the way he affected her? Of course, he did. His eyes darkened with desire. Because of the time she spent in the brothel, she recognized the look in a man’s eye when he lusted for a woman.
“Maybe Cake could watch the children?”
“You worry too much.”
Before she could argue, he headed down the hill. Allison brought the children into the house. A few minutes later, TJ had two horses saddled outside the front door. Joseph stood on the porch with his fists tucked into his front pockets. He squinted against the glare of the sun.
She wanted to take him aside and assure him nothing would come of the ride. A part of her—the part tingling with anticipation of going with TJ—wouldn’t let her lie to him.
When TJ indicated the horse she would ride, Allison laughed. “Do you think you could harness those beasts to a buggy?”
TJ took her hand and pulled her towards the horses. “We ride.”
Fear surged from her head to the tips of her toes. “I don’t ride.” He lifted her into the saddle. “TJ, I don’t want to. I’m scared of horses.”
