The second hand from the wall clock in the kitchen clicked softly and steadily. I would have laughed at the deliberate silence if I wasn't so enraptured by the powerful, solid soul I saw in his eyes.
To my left was the edge of the mattress; somehow, with all our moving around, we had scooted over to the side. I was lying sort of diagonally, giving him just enough room to place his hands and knees around me. My left foot teeter-tottered on the edge, making me slightly nervous, because I could imagine rolling or moving a bit too far and hitting my butt on the floor just when I was trying to be engaging and fascinating.
Seeming to pick up on my thoughts, he moved toward the roomier side of the mattress, giving me space to move underneath him until I got comfortable. I tried to drag my body over, hoping to minimize the bump created by the comforter. He smiled, placing an exclamation point on an unspoken discussion.
I settled down in my new position, enjoying the coolness of the previously-abandoned side of the bed, reveling in the luxury of lying down with such a wonderful man positioned above me, ready to show me his love. His pillow wasn't on the bed but had been thrown carelessly on the floor by one of the windows. So far I haven't known him to actually use a pillow.
Feeling him that close to me again was downright intoxicating. All I could think about was his proximity, the feeling of his solid body, and the faint, natural fragrance of his clean skin.
The sound of the second hand from the kitchen clock faded, and all I heard was his breathing and our soft kissing.
The discomfort from the mattress also disappeared. We could have been rolling around on a barn floor covered in pointy, painful hay. We could have been on the cold sidewalk outside. It was all the same and yet didn't matter because the most beautiful, wonderful man on this planet was with me, providing warmth, security, and genuine love.
My passion for him grew as our lips stayed connected, and he, sensing that passion, seemed to become overwhelmed with excitement himself, and then I in turn sensed that, not because I had any special emotional powers but because I knew him, and so the cycle went, the intensity multiplying every moment as we sensed it in each other. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and had to regretfully break away from him to seek temporary relief from his incredible passion. Our faces were so close to each other that it made it difficult to look in his eyes, so I looked at his beautifully-sculptured left cheek instead, taking great pleasure in the anticipation washing over me and running through my veins like blood.
I was not dependent on him. I did not need him to survive. He inspired me to find that strength in myself, and thanks to his help, that invaluable, endless gift will always be part of me. I found happiness in life because my own world and viewpoint were changing, and adding the Perfect Man to this equation elevated my soul to extremes that can never be fully defined.
No, I was not weak or dependent on him, but our happiness, much like our passion, fed off each other and created an atmosphere of serenity and joy so that everywhere we went together, people would be obviously affected by that unseen energy, and laughter and brotherhood inevitably followed.
I took another moment to enjoy being so close, physically, because it seemed more than natural for us to be side by side—it was as if the universe pointed us in the direction of each other, because that was the natural order of things.
Anything else would be unthinkable.
Finally finding the strength, I peered into his eyes, taken aback by the unspeakable magnificence within, a piece of God's art made into human flesh. I moved my face up a little to kiss him, and in that kiss I told him how I was feeling: It consisted of a wordless deluge of emotion both from my heart and from my body, which was feeling warmer by the minute.
He picked up on these feelings immediately. He kissed me again, urgent and needy this time, and suddenly our bodies tensed and leaned in toward each other, I sitting up slightly and him leaning his torso down.
Desire clung all about me like an aura. I sat up completely now, my arms around his shoulders, pulling him down towards me almost violently. I didn't care if he collapsed because of that, just as long as he was closer to me, on top of me.
The way it was meant to be.
"Mmm!" Ree exclaimed, his voice quite muffled, what with my tongue plunging deftly in his mouth, pressing against his own tongue. His voice sounded surprised, perhaps at the sudden intensity of my kiss. I enjoyed feeling the different parts of his sweet mouth with my tongue, kissing him over and over again intensely. We parted mouths for a moment to catch our breaths and I looked at him, treasuring the closeness of his face to mine, loving the fact that I was taking in the air that he breathed out, the air that came from the depths of his body.
Rolling waves of passion and warmth moved through me and suddenly, I knew nothing else, had no other concern. I forgot about the God Generation, my judgmental mother, my bitch ex-boss, and even the murdered Slates. I forgot about everything except the knowledge that this beautiful, perfect man who loved me was with me, willing to give of his body and energy to me, willing to experience this rare expression of unselfish love.
My shirt came off first. We went slowly and deliberately this time, largely due to the fact that our first time was ruled by our hormones and shared magnetic passion. Somehow, we wordlessly agreed that we would slow down in order to enjoy every second. His shirt came off second, my bra third. He reached over to unbutton my jeans, and I tried to unbutton his simultaneously, but I was scared to unzip his jeans for fear of catching his erection with the zipper. He laughed and graciously unzipped and removed the jeans on his own. I stood up, letting him remove my light blue panties. He slid them down my legs slowly, stooping down in front of me as they finally reached my feet. I stepped out of them carefully.
Next came the part that I loved so much that I did it slowly, in hopes that I could savor every second, since I knew I'd be daydreaming about it later on during those rare and sad moments when I might be temporarily without him. I pulled up on his shoulder, motioning that he should stand. I traded places with him, sliding off his boxers, being careful not to get too distracted by the massive erection that leapt out at me. I slid the shorts to his feet and moved them out of his way as he stepped out of them.
Slowly, deliberately, we settled on the mattress again. We weren't in a rented house in Lynnwood, I thought. We were in Paris at one of the world's fanciest hotels. We were on a huge four-poster bed in a penthouse suite that the President and First Lady themselves once stayed in. If I looked outside, I'd see l'Arc de Triomphe. We weren't too far from the Eiffel Tower either. The most tantalizing thought was that not only was this something we could realistically do, but that I'd be able to see the Louvre, all with Ree by my side. We'd have the most romantic, extravagant dinner imaginable.
Snapping back to reality, I realized that it didn't matter where we were at the moment. As long as I was with him, any country or world could be waiting outside this bedroom and it wouldn't matter. We were here, he and I, two people in love.
We cuddled first, me curling up on his right side, my palm on his perfect, toned chest. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, feeling the intoxicating smoothness of his glorious, naked body next to mine, smelling his natural clean scent, feeling his strong heartbeat. He turned on his side to face me, smiling at me in a way that let me know that this man truly adored me. I smiled back and kissed him. He began to embrace me with his left arm as we kissed, and I touched that arm in acceptance, making sure it stayed around me.
We paused for a moment to lean our heads in, amazed at the turns our lives took that had us ending up here together, in this moment. I looked in his eyes and saw so much depth. One day, I would like to explore what I thought I saw in his mind, though how I would achieve this I did not know. He was so intelligent and caring that it seemed his mind knew no bounds.
I tore my eyes away from his and kissed the side of his face. Very gently, he took hold of my shoulders and eased them back toward the bed—I supposed that was his
nicer version of pushing me down, which I did to him last time. He smiled and whispered in my ear, "My turn now."
Smiling still, I relaxed and reclined on the mattress, which suddenly seemed heavenly and soft now that I had Ree lying on it with me. My long, brown, wavy hair seemed to fall everywhere, some of it right next to my face and some across my chest. He gently moved my hair to the side and started by my ear, planting delicate kisses on my face, working down towards my neck, which he spent a lot of time on. He was delighted to find a ticklish spot in the hollow of my throat, and what felt sensual at first began to just plain tickle. My slight giggling turned into flat-out laughing as he pressed on with the tickle spot relentlessly. Even as he moved on to my shoulders, my laughing continued, gradually becoming a giggle once again and finally fading by the time he reached my breasts.
He kissed them deftly and with great reverence, his hands holding them gently and his tongue teasing each nipple delicately, spending what felt like ten minutes there then finally, almost regrettably, it seemed, moving on to my stomach, nuzzling against it briefly and licking the skin there.
He ignored the warm, moist area between my legs for a moment and focused his attention on my smooth, soft thighs. His nose moved along one leg; I could only assume he was taking in its scent, though I had no idea what my leg smelled like.
He turned his attention back to the warm area between my legs that had become so wet, as soon as he placed a hesitant finger on it, it glided right down. That one touch alone almost sent me over the edge. It had been so long since I had received this type of intimate attention from a man.
If I ever had.
The feeling of his tongue between my legs shocked me back into reality. Focused, he kept on with his very warm and wet tongue, seeking out every fold inside me, making me shake and moan from intensity I'd never felt before. Sex had never, never felt like this, never made me want to melt into the mattress and stare adoringly at this beautiful man forever. I almost wanted to cry from the ineffable happiness my body was feeling at this moment, not just the lovemaking itself but the fact that it was this man, this surreal man that I loved so completely.
When he finally retreated to lie down next to me, I was quivering and curled up on my side, attempting to recover from pleasure never before felt.
But Ree had other plans.
As he turned me very gently so that I was on my back again, I took a deep breath to prepare myself. I had just experienced absurd heights of pleasure, and feeling him inside me at this moment would send me over the top.
When he pushed himself completely into me, it hurt a bit at first, despite the fact that we had already been intimate once and that I was extremely wet. This was a different angle, however, and without having to force my thighs to undergo an extreme version of cardio, the quivering that I had already been experiencing turned into body convulsions and vivid, high-pitched squeals, and this was after I tried to control it all.
Gently, he revealed how much he loved me and how he could go on like this into eternity. Some part of me wondered if that was literally possible, due to his special circumstances. But I realized I didn't really need to know, because all this time, he and I were already experiencing heaven and it was impossible for it to get any better than this.
I needed to kiss him, so I tugged on his arm gently and reached up and put my arms around his shoulders, pulling him down to me. He smiled at me—god, how gorgeous he looked—and, knowing what I wanted, of course, kissed me gently before returning to his dedicated demonstration of undying love.
Before I could have another thought, he withdrew then pushed himself inside me again, and this time it hurt somewhat, since there was so much of him.
We went on like this for quite a while, and I couldn't be sure exactly how long we were wrapped up in each other. Finally, groaning none too quietly, he stopped his motions and rested his body on mine, flesh upon flesh, as he released his love into me. I kept my arms around him and enjoyed the miraculous feel of his release.
"I'm not letting you go—ever," I whispered. I couldn't see his face because it was right next to mine, but I felt his cheek move up in a smile.
I felt exhausted. My body failed where my spirit would have very much liked to continue. A gleam of sweat covered my skin in all places, and my thighs felt useless and indeed would not move at all due to the exertion they had faced, even with Ree doing most of the work. It would be many minutes before I could breathe at a normal pace, so out of breath was I. My throat was very dry; if I had the strength to move, I would have retrieved a bottle of water for the both of us, but alas, everything other than my brain was non-operable at the moment.
I felt fulfilled. Though my spirit would have very much liked to continue out of curiosity of what other miracles Ree and I could accomplish in bed, my entire body was happy and satiated, and between my legs I felt the throbbing still as if he were yet inside me. Under my nails I had the bits of his skin that I had taken during the heights of our passion, and I laughed to myself as I cleaned them out. There was no further want I could imagine, lying there with him then, panting and exhausted. I'd never known such pleasures were even possible. I was always aware of shallow, passing joys, but I did not realize this extreme, unheard of level of fulfillment could ever be.
Especially for a person like me.
I was in love. He touched a part of my being that no other person on this planet had ever seen, much less came in contact with. If he believed I was special, it was only because he was the special one; he had the ability to bring out a wiser aspect of myself.
And so, feeling completely exhausted, fulfilled, and in love all at once for the first time in Morgan Constantina's life, I fell into slumber next to Ree, sleeping a dreamless sleep since, after all, the man of my dreams was lying right beside me.
Chapter 15
Dess' thoughts…
Bitches don't weep, and bitches don't sleep.
At least, far as I can tell, if they do weep, it's nothing but a result of further self-indulgence and a hugely inflated ego.
And if they ever sleep, they definitely sleep alone, unless they have money to pay someone. Only some serious green could make a person—and a pretty pathetic person, at that—tolerate being intimate with such bitchiness. Only thing was, this hatred and negativity was so intense, you'd feel sick, wrong, and out of place until you rubbed antibacterial gel all over your body, paying extra close attention to your secret no-no places.
I give you Exhibit A: Anny Malone. Lonely, ugly, probably divorced, no kids, added to an apparent insecurity issue, which fueled her hatred and general bad personality. I have known many beautiful women who were overweight, and in my opinion, a beautiful woman will be just that, no matter what shape she is. So I'd like the record to show that I did not discriminate in this manner. But I hated Anny Malone, just as everybody at work obviously hated Anny Malone, not because of her appearance but because of the misery that seeped out her pores and created an aura of nastiness and bitterness all around her. Once you're overcome with it, you can either join her in her hopeless crusade, thereby surrendering whatever personality and individuality you might have previously had (think Borg Queen), or you can butt heads with her and be ultimately doomed from the first time you meet her.
Guess which one I chose?
Anny's mouth was open slightly in shock as she eyed me up and down for the umpteenth time. Now, let's get one thing straight, no pun intended. I know a lesbian when I see one. And Anny sure as hell wasn't one. My experienced instincts told me she was pretending to bat for my team in hopes that she could get her greedy claws on my money. The very thought of being with her in any sexual manner at all made my breakfast move slowly back up my esophagus. I tried to ignore it. Despite the circumstance and the crudeness of this woman, I knew that vomiting all over Anny's desk would not be very ladylike of me.
Once I walked in her office and told her I was quitting, and she saw how I was dressed (and verrrry slowly put two and two together…
perhaps remembering my first day wherein I told her I was related to Abuela Zerlina), she sent her supervisor out the door and told her to close the door behind her. Then she got up and locked the door, which began the previously-explained process of my breakfast burrito inching its way back up toward my mouth. She actually sat her fat ass on top of her desk (those poor, squished, smelly reports) with her legs out toward me.
What did she think I was going to? Put my hands on her knees and run them up her thighs just because she was female?
I pretended not to notice any of this and continued to look her squarely in her eyes. "Oh, Dess," she crooned, "We're going to miss you. Do you really have to quit? I can change your position, you know. I wish you would have told me who you really were, so we wouldn't have wasted your talents with this mediocre stuff. Do you have any suggestions for me? Do you have any positions for me in mind?" She uncrossed and crossed her legs when she said the word positions.
Down, breakfast burrito. Down.
"No, Anny. This company was a complete waste of time. I was only here to keep busy, but I just couldn't stand it anymore." I kept my voice even and my eyes unwavering, as I did with anyone who challenged me.
"Oh, I agree with you, honey. I really do." Uncross, cross. Did she really think that was sexy? On some women, maybe… but on her? I wanted to hurl. "I'm starting my own video-rental business, and no one knows about it yet." She smiled at me and lowered her voice as if we shared the world's biggest, most lethal secret.
"What is it going to be called? Bitches R Us?"
Anny laughed so loud that I literally had to cover my ears. "Oh, Dess, honey, you are so funny! I am a bitch, aren't I? You've got to be tough—we businesswomen know this, don't we? Thanks to my hard work, I'm going to be starting this business and, I don't mind telling you, we will have every type of video imaginable. Especially ones that cater to people like us. Don't you just hate men?"
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