I was right. "Morgan, I need to talk to you about something."
"Sure." I kept watching TV.
"We need to discuss your suicide attempt. I want to be sure that you're happy with your life now and where it's going, and most importantly, I want to make sure you're feeling good about yourself, because you have every reason to be inspired and excited."
My head snapped to face him. He was watching me closely.
I looked in his eyes and saw something there that I have so rarely seen in anyone: Genuine love and concern for me and my emotional health. I smiled upon seeing this, watching the ripple effect hit him as he smiled as well.
"I think it's safe to say that I see my life very differently than I did about a week ago."
Ree didn't react immediately but continued to search my eyes. "Are you positive about this?"
My smile grew. "Yes, I am. Thanks, Ree." I gave him a huge bear hug and kissed him lightly.
After the show was over, Dess got up and left the room without saying a word.
Doing anything without speaking was unusual for her.
"She's a little emotional right now," Ree said quietly. "Dess actually can get sentimental sometimes. Tomorrow, or the day after—I forget which—is her ex-girlfriend's birthday. She's still recovering from their breakup."
I was stunned for a moment, realizing that I never really thought of Dess' love life and whether or not she had someone, or missed anyone. I'd been so caught up in my own drama. After all the trouble she went through for me last week, I couldn't even trouble myself to ask her about her own personal life.
Some best friend I turned out to be.
I wanted to ask him more about it, but felt that doing so would be more like gossiping behind her back, which I didn't want to do. I owed her more than that.
I grabbed the TV remote and handed it to Ree, walking down the hall to her bedroom. Dess' door was partially open, so I approached it and tapped it lightly with my knuckle.
"Hey. You wanna talk about it?" No point in pretending Ree didn't just tell me about her ex-girlfriend.
Dess, sitting on her bed and looking at the floor, looked up suddenly and attempted to smile. She actually had a box and frame, unlike me, so she was able to sit on her bed and stretch her legs out while resting her feet on the floor, a mundane thing that seemed so luxurious to me.
"Come sit down," she invited, motioning to an armchair by the bed. As I came in and sat, she continued talking. "I just…I miss her. Whatever." She paused and chuckled, as if the notion of missing anyone was just plain idiotic. Dess smiled at me, looking a lot like her old self. "I go back and forth from not missing her to thinking about her everyday. You know how that is."
I did know. Not too long ago I had thought that way about Adim. I didn't want to mention that to her, however, because Dess' ex was probably very different from Adim, and I didn't want her to think I compared the two. I nodded, leaned forward and put my hand on hers, silently letting her know that I understood, and that she could talk to me if she needed to. She gave me a small, grateful smile and nodded back. "Hey, I got something interesting to tell you, Morgue. I was thinking about it last night and then forgot about it—what with all the excitement and all."
"Yeah? What is it?"
"I think that bitch who posted the fake picture of you on Facebook is same bitch who photoshopped it."
My breath caught, both from the random revelation and because I haven't thought about that stupid fake picture in what seemed like lifetimes.
"What did you –? How? How did you get to that conclusion?"
Dess took a breath and sat back. I let go of her hand and did the same, sitting back and waiting anxiously for details.
She got up and started pacing around her bedroom. Briefly I had a flashback of her doing the same thing in my hospital room. "I dunno, Morgue. I can't really explain it. I was half awake and lying in bed and thinking about all this shit's that's happened to us, and as I lingered over the details regarding that picture, out of nowhere a thought popped in my mind that this bitch who posted the picture is not only the same one who changed it so it would look like you, but I considered the possibility that she's connected to Adim, and that he might have told her to do it."
It was a good thing I was sitting. I was starting to feel a tad dizzy. "Nailah? I mean, we were never close, but…" My mind whirled, trying to piece this information together with everything else I knew.
I put my head in my hands for a moment, then sighed and shook my head. "How many people are working for Adim? This is insanity. Does this mean Nailah's Melted too?"
Dess stopped pacing and stood by my chair. "Morgue, we don't know this for a fact yet. But at the very least, we should keep it in mind."
I nodded. "We should probably start keeping a list of the Melted we know about and a list of potential Melted." I brightened with a new thought. "You were probably beginning to tap into your Lachesis powers last night. Do you remember more of her—your—memories?"
Dess' face lit up a little. "I think so. If I just get the chance to rest, I'm sure it'll come back, bit by bit."
"That's great, Dess! You're even scarier than you were before, which is really saying something." We both laughed and I hugged her before heading out her bedroom door.
Happy with what I conquered with Dess, I wandered back outside to sit next to my yummy man on the couch. He gave me the most beautiful smile known to mankind and kissed my cheek.
"I missed you," he said.
"Not even close to how much I missed you."
"So what happened with Crazy Twin Sis?"
I laughed and briefly related my conversation with Dess. He listened with a slight frown on his face.
"I don't know if Nailah's damned," Ree commented after I'd finished. "I don't think she was prominent in your life enough for me to ascertain that without actually seeing her in person. But from what it sounds like, I would say she's either Melted, like the nurse, or another choop working for the Melted, like Ethan is. I think we should really start coming up with defense strategies for Adim's quirky attacks. He does not accomplish much from them, but we should still be prepared."
I sighed and nodded, thinking of all the work we had ahead of us.
We went to bed after then, and after a wonderful, hour-long expression of love, fell asleep. Being with Ree was pure heaven, but as soon as I fell asleep, I began dreaming of hell, and the funny thing was, I knew I was dreaming as I was doing it.
I watched myself as if I were at a movie theater, and had no control over what "Movie-Me" was doing. It was as if I were nothing but a spirit, lurking around and observing.
I (I'll just say 'I' instead of "Movie-Me") was at the bottom of a series of steps. They looked like the kind of steps you'd see in a haunted house—rickety, dark gray, made of rotting wood—but they were outdoors. There was a red sky above, which was all I could see, other than the steps.
I climbed the rickety steps a lot faster than I should have. The benefits of being in a dream, I suppose. To my surprise, a big, heavy, wooden door stood at the top; not something you'd expect to see after seeing those old steps.
I opened the door and let myself in, seeing a sort of eye-shaped room that was split up into sections with sitting furniture and bookshelves.
Closing the door behind me, I stepped to the right where two comfortable-looking couches sat. There was a man sitting in one. He stood up when I entered the room, and though he was dressed very nice—he was in some type of suit that Ree would probably kill for—something about this stranger threw me off.
He watched me with an other-worldly, almost reptilian fascination.
Who was he?
"Oh. I do apologize," he purred. "You don't recognize me." He laughed and changed his form. Before I knew it, he had taken on the shape of a creature—a creature with thick pig skin that was blood red as well. His eyes had no pupils and were completely red in color. Two curling horns stood on top of his head. When he smiled, blood dripped out
of his mouth.
I trembled inside, because there was no doubting who this was. But I showed him no fear, and looked at him dead in his eye.
Chapter 18
Evil, personified.
"You're the devil." I forced myself to be strong and look directly at this bastard.
"Morgan, we have much to discuss, you and I." In this form, his voice was very different—'loud' didn't even begin to describe him. It was more like a voice the size of the Earth, a booming sound seeming to originate from the very core of the planet. I had a feeling that if I had heard this voice while awake, I wouldn't have survived the experience.
"Yeah? Somehow, I doubt that." Oh, the movie-me was much braver and confident. I daresay she was pretty damned impressive.
"You believe that the Worthy discriminates against the Melted. You are right. Good and evil need to work together to eliminate the freaks of nature, the Slates."
You see them all as being damned? Isn't that a little unfair?
That was my voice coming from an unknown source; it was almost like a recording of what I had said to Ree earlier about the Melted. I rolled my eyes. "Yes, I said that. So what?"
"Why did you say this, Morgan?"
I was getting impatient. "I don't like it when people judge others, no matter who they are or who they're judging." I paused and shifted gears. "Ree should be included here. Out of respect for him, I'm not continuing this discussion without him."
"You are not going to call upon the Worthy known as Tiberius. This is our conversation."
"Do not tell me what I am or am not doing," I ordered.
Damn. Snap.
He simpered with mild amusement. "You don't seem to understand, my dear. We both know he is unable to enter your dreams. You and I need to have our own intimate conversation."
I decided to ignore the statement about Ree, although part of me wondered how much he actually knew about us, and how much he was bluffing. "Funny, all I have to say is 'fuck you.' If Adim is an example of one of the Melted, you can keep it and shove it right up your stinking, foul ass." Nice. While in this dream state, I was even more impressive than Dess.
"They are all my children, and for the actions of my child, I apologize to you, Morgan," he said, taking a formal bow. "He's a little misdirected. And insane, I'll readily admit. But do not judge the rest of us based on one experience. That would not be fair." He sat back and watched me with those terrorizing eyes, apparently satisfied with himself.
I scoffed. "You're calling my bluff? If I reject your help, I'm a hypocrite."
"Are you?" he asked, tilting his head and feigning innocence, which looked utterly ridiculous on him. I mean, how could the devil possibly look innocent at all? "Just think about what I've told you. Your little boyfriend's side wants the same thing that my side does. Slates don't belong here. If you want to talk to me, just contact one of my servants." And before I could say another thing, he vanished into thin air.
The entire scene disappeared, as if we had been in a movie and someone had reached the end of the projection reel. I awoke on our mattress with a start, breathing intently and wondering about my dream. If that had really just happened, it seemed the devil was trying to ask me for help in understanding his kind, and that we needed to join forces to rid ourselves of the Slates.
But I didn't want to rid the world of Dess.
My heart was pounding; my brain, confused and trying to understand what had just happened.
One of Ree's arms came out of nowhere and circled my waist, his warmth and heavy breathing telling me he was still asleep. I looked over at him and shook my head with wonder. It's like he somehow knew I had just woken up, and had put his arm around me to say good morning.
He's so amazing.
He also must have felt me watching him, because his eyes opened. He smiled at me and pulled me in for a kiss.
"It's before one o'clock in the afternoon. Shouldn't you be asleep?"
I pretended to act offended, the way I always did when he made jabs at my oversleeping. "Ha. Funny. Don't quit your day job, buddy." I paused. "Uh, when you get one, I mean."
He put his arms over his head and stretched for a minute or so while I picked up my cell phone. 7:43 AM. Ugh. Disgusted with the ungodly hour, I threw my phone down and curled up next to Ree, loving the feel of his warm body.
"Did you sleep well?" he asked, absentmindedly caressing my thigh with his hand.
I tensed up, recalling the devil's pig-like red skin and curling horns. Did the devil have the power to enter my dreams at any time? How could I keep myself safe from having to encounter him again?
I was taking much too long to answer, and naturally, Ree noticed it. "What is it? What's wrong?"
"The devil," I said, the words dropping out of my mouth before I could stop them.
"What?" Ree sat up, suddenly wide-awake and focused.
"I…had a dream about the devil," I admitted, sitting up.
Ree's face darkened, his eyes narrowing. "What? Morgan, what happened in this dream?"
I already began to feel uncomfortable with this conversation. I wished I could stop, but what else was I going to do? I wasn't about to lie to him. "Um…well, he said he wanted the Slates gone, just like you do."
"Just like I do? What does he think he knows about me?"
"I don't know. He just said that your side wants the same thing as his side. And he said that if I ever needed his help, I could enlist the help of someone Melted." I wanted to bite my tongue as soon as those words were out. I definitely could have phrased that differently.
He stood up and turned to look at me, his hands clenched in tight fists. "His help? Why the hell would you ever, ever need his help?" Even though his voice was quiet and low, it was also angry and downright terrifying, sort of the way Adim always sounded right before he erupted violently. Not to mention that the phrase why the hell was Ree's way of cussing, which was unprecedented, as far as I was concerned. Slivers of fear crept into my body, taking over my brain and making it impossible to think of very much else.
Instinctively, I scooted away from him until I was sitting on the corner of the mattress. Sure, I'd seen Ree argue and fight with Adim, but I never thought in a million years that he could ever be angry at me. It was my worst fear come to life, and honestly, it was a damned frightening thing to see. I swallowed, feeling my shoulders rise up and down from my quickened breathing. I looked at the floor instead of in his eyes. There was so much I wanted to explain to him—that it wasn't my fault, that I didn't want to have this dream, and that I most certainly didn't enjoy it. But I remained silent, paralyzed by trepidation.
I felt dizzy, as if I was entering a parallel universe in which every man in the world only wanted to be angry with me and demonstrate that anger. I also felt sick to my stomach, and my heart was breaking from thinking of how, just a minute ago, we'd been cuddling on the mattress. I'd ruined our morning. Oh, if only I hadn't opened my big mouth, we could have been making love right now instead of being at odds with each other.
"I don't know," I whispered, my body already going into survival mode, my mind already trying to find that safe place, the one I'd go to when Adim let his anger out on me.
My safe place was that beautiful spot by the river, the one that Friend and I would always walk along when I was little and needed solace.
Oh, Jesus. Friend was Ree, I reminded myself.
I gasped as my safe place vanished, feeling the tears begin to well up in my eyes. I was a person without a safe place, and after all my thoughts of inner strength and emotional independence, I was back to being this pathetic, scared person.
"You do know," Ree said in that quiet, angry voice, for the first time oblivious to how I was feeling. He found his clothes that he'd shed last night and started pulling them on.
I couldn't focus on our conversation anymore. All I could think about was how I'd never heard him talk to me like this, and it was unfamiliar and petrifying. He'd always been gentle, loving, and understanding
. And while I was aware of the fact that he wasn't calling me names or hitting me, I was still chilled to the bone, still completely miserable.
I made the mistake of looking up at him. When our eyes met, my heart broke.
His eyes were angry and accusing.
"Stop," I pleaded. "I don't want to talk about this."
"This is important, Morgan. We need to discuss this." Maybe he wasn't shouting exactly, but his tone of voice was so foreign to me. I just wanted my happy, loving Ree back.
The tears that had welled up in my eyes began to spill out over my cheeks, and instead of wiping them away, I scooted further away from him, which made me fall off the mattress. Still refusing to look at him, I continued to scoot away on my butt until I hit the wall, more tears creating a thin veil on my face. I hugged my knees to my chest and didn't say another word. Where was my safe place? Home, with my parents? Maybe, if they didn't hate me so much. Church? I've never felt safe there. My safe place was always with Friend, and now, with that taken away from me, with Friend no longer existing in the way that he used to, I was emotionally homeless.
I closed my eyes and leaned my head on the wall, only opening them when I heard our bedroom door open. Ree had left our room.
"What?" I said quietly, although there was no one to answer me. My tears still rolling down my face, I stood up and followed him after hurriedly pulling on a t-shirt and panties.
When I got to the living room, there were no signs of life anywhere. The sound of the garage door opening prompted me to action. I sprinted out the front door and headed for the garage, momentarily stunned by the freezing-cold weather hitting my near-naked body.
Ree's Lamb came to life and backed out of the garage after I moved out of the way. Before I knew it, he drove off, speeding further and further away from the house at an insane velocity.
I ran back to our bedroom, closing the door and leaning against it for a moment, trying to understand what had just happened. He left. He really left me. I sobbed as I recalled his angry eyes and the obvious change in his feelings for me.
Surreal Ecstasy Page 20
