by Erica Penrod
She handed Cassie a copy from the stack in her hands, her eyes searching the young widow’s face for any hint of apprehensiveness. She was unsure of how well Cassie understood the relationship between herself and Camille; there were very few things in her girls’ lives that their mother was not aware of, and she had no reason to believe that it was any different for Camille. Grace wanted Cassie to feel that she could confide in her, but she also didn’t want to pry. At this point, Camille had given her enough information to know this young woman needed her love and most of all her protection.
* * *
Without hesitation, Cassie stepped into the office and took a seat.
“Do you need a pen?” Grace asked. A silver and turquoise bracelet slid down her wrist. She had little diamond studs in her ears and three diamond bands stacked around her left finger. Her lounge-around-the-house yoga pants were pressed—even at rest, she was stunning.
“Sure,” Cassie said, with her elbows settled on the armrests. The muted gray upholstery set off patterns of a cream-colored paisley design highlighted with touches of orange, the same color as Cassie’s favorite creamy Popsicle. She felt the coordinating plush rug beneath her feet and was tempted to slip off her flip-flops and feel the soft fibers underneath her toes. She took the pen from Grace. “Thanks.”
August, with the first week nearly gone, took half of the page, while another calendar for September covered the other. Almost every weekend was filled with tiny words, ready to evolve into big adventures. At least, that’s what she prayed rodeo would mean for her and her boys. One foreseeable problem was the moment her boys realized they weren’t going to be the ones riding the horses. She told Jack, the trainer in charge of hauling the horses from town to town, to plan on an extra stall for two stick horses. From the lack of empty spaces on the schedule, she hoped it would leave her little time to think about anything else.
“I’ve emailed you a copy, but I thought it would be good to sit down and go over things, just to clarify and answer any questions you might have.”
“Yes, that will help,” Cassie said, tucking a wandering strand of hair behind her ear. “I’m really glad you and Ben will be here for the first few days.” She took the cap off the pen and scribbled on her paper until the blue ink appeared. “I still feel so lost when it comes to this stuff.”
Grace slid her chair in closer to the desk. She took a pair of reading glasses from a chevron-printed sleeve and slipped them on. “Okay, let’s start with the basics,” she said. “I promise this will all be easier than you think.”
Cassie nodded, encouraging Grace to continue.
“Your only responsibility will be getting the girls there and keeping track of them. Jack will pull the horse trailer with the live-in compartment, and Tate, the cutting horse trainer, will pull the other.”
“Wait,” she interrupted. “How many trailers?” she asked.
“Between both girls there are eight horses, plus the two turn-back horses for Jack and Tate.” She got out a set of keys, handing them to Cassie. “The live-in only has room for four horses, so we need Tate to bring the other trailer.”
She paused to see if she’d lost Cassie, then continued. “But don’t worry. The live-in quarters have plenty of room for you and your boys, plus Skyler and Elle. Jack and Tate will stay in the other trailer; it has small accommodations, but it works for one old cowboy and his sidekick.”
“Okay,” Cassie said, trying to picture living in a horse trailer with two small boys and two teenage girls every weekend for the next two months. She’d been too worried about figuring out what she’d be expected to do, so it never crossed her mind to wonder where they’d be staying.
“As you can see, the first weekend rodeos are in Oakley, which is only about forty-five minutes away. So that’s a relatively close one.” She moved her pen down to the next box. “And the following week, they’ll be in Vernal. I’ve put an estimate of miles next to each rodeo; that way you’ll have some idea about travel time, and …” Grace smiled, “how many snacks to bring for the teenagers and the boys for the car ride.
“You’ll all be able to travel together between the two trucks, so there’s no need for you to drive separate, unless you prefer to. I just thought it would be easier on you, but it’s your decision. I’m fine either way.”
“She’ll be driving truck and trailer in no time,” came a deep voice from the hallway. Cassie knew by the way her stomach flipped like a fish on the shore that Kip was standing behind her.
“I don’t remember inviting you to our little get-together,” Grace said, removing her glasses and leaning back in her chair. “Besides, there are a few things I need to warn Cassie of about you. I can’t do that when you’re standing there.” She smiled to show she was teasing.
“I’m not the one you should warn her about,” Kip said, taking a seat. “Did you mention Jack?”
“What about Jack?” Cassie asked.
“Nothing,” Grace said. She wadded a piece of paper and threw it at her son. “He’s just a little set in his ways, but he has a heart of gold.”
“Unless you disagree with him.” Kip tossed the paper into the trash can.
“Don’t listen to him.” Grace smiled. “Jack’s the only one not coerced by his dimples.”
Cassie pictured the old cowboy who had been good to her and extremely patient with the boys. “I’m sure we’ll get along just fine.”
“I’m sure you will,” Kip said, looking right at Cassie.
She scowled at him. After watching another episode of The Cowboys, she was drawing a line in the sand for the butterflies in her stomach. An hour of watching Kip charming a countless number of women at a charity fundraiser told her he was used to getting what he wanted and who he wanted. In her mind, there was no doubt he could sweet-talk the devil into a box of matches.
Straightening her shirt and sitting up tall, she sucked in, and the C-section scar pressed against the fabric of her sweatpants. She was old enough to know that just because Kip gave her a couple of compliments and made her feel things, it didn’t mean he was attracted to her. Two five-pound babies and stretch marks didn’t make her a front-runner for a beauty pageant. Besides, she saw the women on his television show; a bottle of water and two lettuce leaves didn’t suppress her hunger and never would. She enjoyed food and wasn’t about to starve herself to please a man … which reminded her, she was hungry. She touched her stomach and looked up to find Kip still watching her.
“I’ll let you get back to it,” he said, standing up and stretching. The hem of his T-shirt lifted, exposing a slice of burlap-colored skin.
“Okay, honey,” Grace said to her son, and Cassie kept her focus on the pattern beneath her feet. “We’ll see you later.”
Once Cassie couldn’t hear the click of Kip’s cowboy boots on the tile, she dared look up at his mother. Grace smiled softly and immediately got back to the details of their upcoming schedule. Fifteen minutes later, Cassie put the lid back on her pen, ready to rescue Skyler from Rhett and Ryder. She stood up, along with Grace.
“Before you go,” Grace said, setting her glasses on the desk, “I wanted to tell you that your mom told me about what is going on.” She paused. “About the situation with Danny’s associate, and that it may have escalated.”
Cassie steadied herself with her hands on the back of chair while her stomach unraveled. She swallowed. “She did?”
“Yes,” Grace said. She walked around the desk and laid her hand on Cassie’s trembling shoulder. “She thought it was the right thing to do … for you and for me. Just in case—” She stopped, contemplating her words.
Cassie finished her sentence. “Just in case he comes after us.”
* * *
After Cassie’s cold reception, Kip retreated to the familiar smell of leather and wood in the den, comforted by the majestic mounts of deer and elk along the walls that he and his father had hunted over the years.
Each one brought back a memory—a hunter’s journal of
sorts— that would live on for generations. One day he hoped to bring his own son here and share with him this legacy of love—time spent together between a father and son.
He would also teach him, like his father and his father before him, to appreciate all of God’s creations, and that taking an animal’s life was done with respect and gratitude. Some of Kip’s fondest memories were sitting around the kitchen counter while his father prepared the meat. No one could cook venison like Ben Morgan, although his mother still refused to eat deer.
So it was there that Kip sought serenity. He wanted to get Cassie out of his head, but that was like trying to stop a herd of wild horses. He thought he was doing okay when he kept her at a distance or got on his cutting horse. At least that way he wouldn’t see her face for two minutes and thirty seconds.
The words between Cassie and him always seemed to get lost in translation. The way she interpreted his intentions left him flustered. But sometimes, like this afternoon, things seemed different. He saw the usual disdain on her face, but when he stood up to leave, he sensed there was more; a tiny particle of desire dug in his flesh, like a hook to the heart. It could be misunderstanding on his part, but what if it was really there? He wanted to believe it, but would she forgive him if she learned the truth about what he knew?
He made his way down the hall, pausing to listen to his mom and Cassie as they finished their meeting. He didn’t mean to eavesdrop. He liked to hear Cassie’s voice and yearned to hear her laugh like that girl he once knew. She carried such heavy burdens. But those twins were blessings of the best kind. He was taken with them from the first moment. If he had his way, the whole crew would be around forever. The boys might agree to that plan, but their mama would take a whole lot of convincing.
He heard the warning in his mother’s words that stopped just short of spelling out the danger. Then Cassie filled in the blank, and Kip leaned against the wall, grateful for the stability.
The things he knew about Cassie, things she didn’t know he knew, had just become a matter of life and death.
7
In the electric blue sky of Oakley, Utah, the noonday sun took center stage. Even with clouds threatening to close the curtain, rodeo fans who were nestled in the 6000-seat arena lifted their hats and dabbed at the perspiration. Every eight seconds, a galloping breeze took the edge off, making it a good day to win a gold buckle.
Cassie pushed the brim of her ball cap up to get a better view. Grace, sat next to her in a hat of her own along with a stylish T-shirt and jeans. Her sense of style and flawless skin made it impossible to tell her age. The boys sat below them at the edge of their seats, boots swinging in the air as their little legs dangled. Cowboy hats shaded their dripping faces, the casualty of cherry snow cones.
“There’s Ben,” Grace said. “He’s down by the gate.” She pointed, and Cassie saw him holding on to Skyler’s prancing barrel horse. “Look, boys, there she is,” she said, tapping their shoulders. They stood up and waved as the announcer called Skyler’s name. The horse danced in anticipation, and the cowgirl looked like a natural extension of her saddle and mount. Her body seemed unaware of the animal built for speed raring to run beneath her.
“Did I miss her?” Cassie heard Kip’s voice and saw the crowd watch as he cleared the stairs.
“You’re just in time,” Grace said, flipping the cover of her iPad to record.
Kip sat down next to Cassie, who slid closer to Grace. “Here she goes!” he said. The excitement in his voice turned Cassie’s head, and she missed Skyler go around the first barrel.
Determined not to miss the second, she focused on the rider. Skyler’s dark hair flapped beneath her hat like a wing on the wind, and Cassie imagined it felt like flying. Skyler left the third barrel standing, and Kip called out, “Bring her home!”
They sped down the center of the arena. Cassie squealed in terror when she saw the horse and gate about to collide, with the cowgirl pulling on the reins. At the last second, the horse turned, his nostrils flaring, while Skyler stroked his neck, and he high-stepped out of the arena. Cassie let out a deep breath. Her stomach fell back into place, and she felt like she’d just gotten off a roller coaster.
“Momma, did she win?” Ryder asked.
“I don’t know,” she answered.
“That was a great run,” Grace said, setting the iPad in her purse as Skyler’s time of 16.9 seconds went over the loud speaker. “That should keep her in the top ten.”
“She did great,” Kip said, touching Cassie’s knee in a playful gesture. “When did Elle draw up?” he asked.
Grace opened the program. “Let’s see,” she said, running her finger down the page. “She’s number 101.”
“What number was Skyler?”
“32.”
“So we’ll be here till Christmas,” he said, stretching his arms above his head. The red-and-white-checked material of his shirt stretched over his chest. Pearl snaps ran down the front, and the sleeves were rolled to just below his elbows. She held back a sigh. Cowboy looked good on Kip. “I’m going to grab a drink. Does anyone want one?” he asked.
“I do!” Ryder said.
“I do, too,” Rhett said, and they both climbed up onto Kip’s lap.
“Watch out,” Cassie tried to warn, but it was too late. Kip’s button-down shirt was branded by little red handprints.
He looked down at the new pattern. “At least it matches.”
Cassie nodded. “Yeah, I guess.”
His forearms flexed as he adjusted the twins in his lap, and Cassie appreciated his muscles that were made the old-fashioned way. That was one thing she knew about Kip: in spite of his celebrity status, he pulled his own weight. When he was home, he hauled hay, cleaned stalls, and did just about everything else the stable hands were paid to do.
“Can they go with me?” Kip asked, his eyes as hopeful as the twins.
Cassie reached into her bag and grabbed a package of wet wipes. She pulled out two and began to wipe Rhett’s sticky hands and then Ryder’s. “Sure,” she said, placing the dirty wipes in a baggie. “But they don’t need any more sugar; they just had snow cones.”
She glanced down at the syrup staining his sleeves and took another wet wipe from the package. “Or we’ll have to lock them in the horse trailer for their safety and ours.” Reaching out, she stopped herself before she tried to scrub down a grown man.
He noticed her intentions, and she apologized. “Sorry, mommy instincts.”
He grinned. “How about a rain check?”
“Ha, ha, very funny,” she said, praying she didn’t need to wipe the red from her cheeks.
He stood up, holding a little hand in each of his own. She told the boys to be good and watched as the spectators parted for the bachelor and his two little cronies. Her children’s faces, with their faded cherry mustaches and wide eyes, made her wonder if their adoration of Kip was their subconscious missing Danny. Or maybe he was just as wonderful as they thought.
Maybe she’d been wrong about Kip.
She’d kind of freaked out when she’d been so attracted to him in such a short amount of time and grabbed on to any reason to be angry or paint him as the bad guy. That wasn’t really fair. Besides, his intentions seemed to come from the heart where her boys were concerned.
Once they were out of sight, she drank the last of her water and thought about Danny as she tightened the lid on the empty bottle. Her marriage was once full, too, and then suddenly it emptied, leaving her trapped inside the void of what might have been.
New Year’s Day, when she met Danny, was notorious for medical clinics, and 2012 was no exception. She worked as a C.N.A. while attending school to get her nursing degree. She’d just completed the paperwork on a positive strep throat lab when Danny came in with a sprained ankle. His height, not much over hers, made him easy to assist as she helped him into a room and onto the exam table. She took his vitals, and he took her phone number. Cassie had never given her number to a patient before, but hi
s blue eyes told a story she’d never heard and his hair curling into calligraphy across his forehead spelled out an attraction she couldn’t deny. Later on, Danny said sympathy was the only way he got her to go out with him, but Cassie knew from that first moment he would change her life.
Cassie trusted her heart, and by June they exchanged vows. By July they were expecting twins. She knew the man she married, but the one she buried … she didn’t know at all.
“I’m roasting to death,” Grace said, pulling Cassie from the deep well in her mind. Grace fanned herself with the program.
“I’ll go get us some cold water,” Cassie offered.
“That would be great,” Grace said, reaching into her purse for her wallet.
“I got it.” She took some cash from her purse. “Is it all right if I leave this with you?”
“Sure,” Grace said, gathering Cassie’s purse to her side.
Cassie tucked the dollar bills in her pocket and pulled her hair into a ponytail beneath her cap. She hopscotched down the bleachers until there was an opening for the stairs, grateful she’d worn shorts and sandals in the heat. She couldn’t imagine wearing a long-sleeved shirt, boots, and jeans like the contestants. They had to be sweating swimming pools.
Concessions were located near the entry gate, so Cassie headed west. She wove her way through shopping booths and patrons. Stopping once, she picked up a beautiful leather belt with intricate details in turquoise and beadwork layered into a unique design. Holding it to her waist, she measured the fit and then looked at the price. Probably not.
Continuing, she paused once again at a jewelry stand, where a bracelet caught her eye. Colorful stones reflected like stained glass in the sunlight. She picked it up, turned it over in her hand, but quickly put it back when the price rolled around.
Up ahead was a rack with an impressive selection of boots. Next to it she could see the top half of Kip and assumed her munchkins were somewhere in the vicinity. Smiling to herself, she changed directions and made her way to the cowboy in a relaxed stance, folding his arms and looking like he’d just won the lottery. She rounded the turnstile of jeans and came up short.
