by Carmen Reid
‘So what have you been longing to say to me all this time?’ Tania dared her.
‘Oh loads of stuff!’
‘Well go on then.’
‘You’re kidding, you really want to hear this?’ Bella grinned.
‘Bring it on out, if you think you’re hard enough,’ Tania teased.
‘All right then . . . I thought Greg was really boring and you deserved someone better.’
‘OK,’ Tania said.
‘And I think you sometimes act like too much of a ditz when you’re actually a really smart, really great person.’
Tania smiled.
‘And I’m so jealous you have a lovely brother . . . and a fantastic mum and dad who gave you enough money to start up your own business and buy a flat . . . and you’re obsessed with fashion, which is tedious . . . but you know what annoys me the most, you never think you look good in anything, that drives me up the wall. . . Please stop me now,’ Bella laughed. ‘See? I could have let this out gradually over the years but now it’s all gushing out in one colossal friendship-destroying tidal wave.’
‘Bitch!’ Tania said in mock horror: ‘What about you!? Ms Smug Smarty Pants Perfect, you’re so good at picking out people’s faults and bossing them around, you do it for a living.’
‘A damn good one,’ Bella interrupted.
‘Shut up, this is my rant! And you think your dress taste is so spot on, when in fact it’s just really boring . . .’
‘Hey, what about the silver anorak!’
‘And how dare you get married first and have a baby first and always get every man you’ve ever wanted just by flaunting your cleavage and dropping your knickers. I hope you’ve learned your lesson this time, Bella.’
‘Ouch,’ Bella said soberly.
‘And . . . and I was so jealous of you and Daniel at university,’ Tania blurted out.
‘Daniel!!’ This was news. ‘You can’t be jealous of Daniel, we were together for three and a half years, we were a couple, we were in love!’
‘Of course I can be jealous. He was so lovely and played Hamlet and let’s face it, every girl in the place wanted him and I still can’t believe you got him.’
‘Oh God, you can’t be jealous? We hung out with you all the time, don’t tell me you were pining away for him because you weren’t! And anyway aren’t you forgetting all the trauma at the end of that?’
‘You left him,’ Tania said, as if Bella needed to be reminded.
‘But he cheated.’
‘But he wanted you to forgive him Bella, just like you want Don to forgive you.’
‘Jesus,’ Bella felt irrationally angry, ‘it was nothing like this.’
‘If I ask you something, do you promise to answer truthfully?’ Tania said, after a pause.
‘No,’ said Bella sulkily.
‘Well, I’m asking anyway. Do you love Don as much as you loved Daniel?’
‘No,’ Bella said without hesitation.
‘Oh my God!’ Tania was shocked.
‘I’m a grown-up now,’ Bella said calmly. ‘I loved Daniel unconditionally. It wasn’t very good for either of us. I think Don and I are better at treading that line between dependence and independence,’ she tried to explain. ‘Between us it’s: “I love you, I want to be with you, but treat me badly and I’ll . . . reconsider”.’ It was hard to say that because she knew Don was reconsidering right now . . . knew she had been reconsidering in the weeks before the night with Chris.
‘So why did you play away with someone else then?’ Tania was not treading lightly today.
Bella hugged her knees up to her chest and rested her face on them: ‘Christ I don’t know, because I could . . . because he was there.’
‘What’s that?’ Tania asked. ‘The Mount Everest defence, “because it was there” – that’s just bloody stupid.’
They both started to giggle, then laugh, then became quite hysterical.
‘Come on,’ said Tania finally. ‘We’ve got to get out of here, it’s so bloody hot, we’ve probably got heatstroke.’
They had a quick lunch together because Bella was starting to fret about Markie and when they kissed goodbye, Tania wished her good luck and promised her everything was going to be OK.
Bella wished she could be so sure; she felt horribly anxious and stirred up.
When she got back to the house, she opened the front door as quietly as she could. If Markie was asleep, she didn’t want to wake him, so she tiptoed in.
She could hear a football match on in the sitting room, and Don making the odd comment: ‘Nice one’ and ‘You must be joking!’
She looked in to see Don lying full-length across the sofa with Markie propped up against his chest. They were both engrossed in the match. It was just heart-wringingly cute.
‘Hello,’ she said from the door, and when the two heads swivelled round, she momentarily wondered which face to look at first. She shot a quick smile at Don, then beamed at her little son who was laughing and holding out his arms for her.
‘Hi darling, how are you? Would you like a cuddle?’
‘Yes, please,’ said Don.
She laughed and ran over to pick Markie up. Don clicked off the TV with a ‘Rubbish game anyway,’ and sat up.
‘How’s it been?’ she asked, cuddling Markie against her and noticing that Don was wearing a different top.
‘Good, fine mainly. Don’t go into the bathroom just yet, I haven’t had a chance to clean up.’
Bella raised her eyebrows.
‘I took him out in his sling thing and when we got back, well, there was a severe nappy overflow. My God . . .’ Don began to laugh, ‘there was crap everywhere, all over Markie, all over the sling, all over me.’
Bella gave a snort: ‘Yup, it’s a learning curve.’
‘But, you know, we’ve had a nice time. He’s a really great little guy. I love the way he flaps his arms when he’s excited, which is about three times a minute.’ Don smiled.
‘Has he had a nap?’ she asked.
‘He nodded off for about ten minutes in the sling, but woke up when we came back in, so not really,’ he answered.
‘OK,’ she said. ‘Let’s take you upstairs for a nice feed and a snooze.’ She kissed Markie on his chubby cheeks.
‘Can I come?’ asked Don.
‘If you like,’ she said, surprised by the request.
In the bedroom, Bella lay down on the bed. Propped up on the mound of pillows she turned onto her side, lifted her top, unzipped her bra and snuggled Markie up close against her full breasts.
Don lay down on the bed behind her and leaned on his elbow so he could watch.
Markie took her nipple in his mouth and began to tug hard, his jaw working up and down. She waited a few moments for the warm, tingling rush of milk and saw Markie close his eyes in bliss as it arrived.
A trickle of milk ran out down the side of his chin.
Don’s head moved to rest on her shoulder, so he could watch the little face pressed close against the soft, creamy mound of skin. He felt a gush of love and lust.
As Markie sucked hard against her, Bella felt the distinct connection between nipples and clitoris that made breastfeeding such a pleasure.
Don’s warm breath was against her neck and she longed for him. He smelled of unfamiliar soap and clean laundry. He shifted slightly so he was closer against her and his keys and pocketful of change jangled as he moved.
She curved her back so she was pressed against him and he kissed her neck. She shivered and let her eyes close, so he kissed gently again.
Markie had stopped sucking, so Bella moved to loosen her other breast and put it into the drowsy baby’s mouth. He began to suck again slowly and Don placed small, soft kisses on her neck and licked at her with his warm tongue.
He laid his hand on the curve of her waist then stroked down her side. She was overwhelmingly happy to feel a hard erection against her.
Don moved a hand to the waistband of her trousers and pulled open the
drawstring. Then he felt his way down to her wet, swollen clitoris.
She parted her lips with a sigh as he made contact. Her baby was still sucking hard on her nipple and Don was moving his finger slowly up and down between her legs. It felt blissfully good.
She felt wet and slippery and desperate for him as he slid one finger inside her.
‘Is this allowed?’ she whispered urgently.
‘I don’t know,’ Don whispered back . . . ‘Shall we wait until he’s asleep?’
‘He’s nearly there,’ she whispered.
She heard Don unzip his trousers and she felt his warm, hard dick press against her buttocks.
Markie’s mouth slid off her nipple and she could see he was sound asleep. She moved him slightly away from her on the bed, then rushed to pull off her trousers.
Don grasped her hips in his hands, pulled her back onto his cock and pushed inside.
He kissed the back of her neck, keeping one damp hand against her clitoris and moving strongly inside her.
‘Oh God,’ she gasped. ‘I’m going to come really quickly.’
‘Me too,’ he said. ‘Is it OK?’
She knew it wasn’t really but she couldn’t bear to have him pull out the condom box and realize there was one less in there than last time.
‘Yeah,’ she gasped and felt the warm rush and shuddering of her own approaching orgasm. He thrust strongly through it and she came, trickling breast milk, just before his long sigh of pleasure.
They were sweaty and sated and he threw his arm round her and pressed his face into the back of her neck. ‘Oh, that was nice,’ he whispered.
‘Yeah,’ she answered and they lay still for a few moments with him gradually shrinking inside her.
When he had pulled out, she turned around to face him. ‘Don?’ She looked into his eyes and tried to read the answer to this question before she asked it: ‘Do you still love me?’
He placed a hand on her cheek and answered, ‘Yeah, of course.’
‘What about you?’ he asked. ‘Do you love me?’
‘Yes,’ she answered.
‘But don’t think I wasn’t angry,’ he added. ‘Christ, I was furious . . . but I’ve come to the conclusion that I can forgive a little infidelity here,’ his finger brushed her pubic bone, ‘so long as there is none here,’ he pressed his finger to her breastbone.
‘I’m so sorry. You’re the one, and I know that now,’ she whispered.
‘Do you want to be married to me?’ he asked.
‘I do,’ she said.
‘Do you want to bring up a baby with me?’
‘I do.’
‘Will you try and keep me unto yourself, forsaking all others?’
‘God yes.’ She blinked and a tear slid down her nose and hung on the end.
He licked it off.
‘I’m sorry I wasn’t more help with Markie,’ he said. ‘It all got a bit much for you. I’m going to do a lot more, be around a lot more. I’m booking some holiday, for a start.’
She hugged her arms round his back and pushed her wet face into his shoulder: ‘I’m sorry I didn’t think about you . . . I was so wrapped up in the baby and losing my job and everything . . .’ She began to cry against him, ‘I love you, Markie loves you too. I promise I’ll be so good if you take me back.’
‘Bella, it’s OK,’ he soothed. ‘It’s not a question of taking you back. I never imagined it working out any other way.’
‘I love you,’ she said again.
‘I love you too,’ he answered.
‘Are you going to move back in today?’ she asked.
‘Yeah, my things are in the car but . . .’
‘Oh dear . . .’ she said. ‘“But” doesn’t sound good.’
‘I’ve probably got another two-week foreign coming up very soon. I’m so sorry, I’ve already said I’ll do it, but I promise, I’m taking two weeks off at Christmas.’
‘What do you think about going to Italy for Christmas?’ she said, surprising herself.
He was taken aback too. ‘Don’t your parents live there?!’ he asked.
‘Yeeees . . . I’m not suggesting we go and stay with them for a fortnight. But I think we should visit.’
‘OK,’ said Don. ‘This is something of a breakthrough.’
She didn’t say anything more about it, just smiled at him. They stayed cuddled up on the bed together, not speaking, for a long time.
Finally Bella sat up and said: ‘I’m starving, shall we go and make bacon sandwiches?’
‘Fantastic,’ he said. ‘Are you going to put Markie in his cot?’
She looked at him with her eyebrows raised.
‘Here, why don’t I try?’ he added quickly. ‘Just don’t blame me if he wakes up.’
‘But it’ll be your fault!!’
Chapter Forty-seven
BELLA WAS ENSCONCED in her little attic office where she had been working hard since Markie went to Sylvia’s at 8.45 a.m.
She liked the bright yellow eyrie a lot more now. She’d put in new shelves, a filing cabinet, a desk and chair and a cappuccino maker. Once she closed the door at the top of the stairs, she found it easy to forget about her baby and the rest of the house and slip straight into work mode.
Prentice had given her a spanking new computer with all the bits and a tiny silver mobile just like Susan’s. Bella had been amused when everything had arrived in boxes labelled ‘Bella’s Baby’.
She was concentrating hard on the proposals up on the screen in front of her, when a sharp ring at the doorbell startled her.
Oh God! She really could not cope with another Jehovah’s Witness, meter reader or carpet shampoo salesman. She stayed put in her chair, hoping they would go away. There was another long, loud ring. Bugger. She closed the file and stomped down the two flights of stairs.
She turned the catch, swung the door open and saw Don, tired, crumpled, with a large bag over his shoulder.
‘Hello gorgeous,’ he said with a big grin. ‘I’ve lost my keys.’
‘Hello!!’ she cried. ‘I didn’t think you were back till this evening.’ They hugged and kissed hard on the doorstep. She hadn’t seen him for two weeks and she’d missed him like hell.
‘Nice coat,’ she said as he stepped inside. She laid her cheek on his shoulder and smelled his neck, then kissed it.
‘Yeah, my wife gave it to me. Don’t tell her I’ve come here to see you first.’ He grinned and they kissed mouth to mouth again.
‘You look really tired. D’you want to go downstairs and have coffee?’ she asked.
‘No, no, I’m fine. Markie isn’t here then?’
‘No, he’s at Sylvia’s until one. How was the trip?’
‘Bloody awful, but never mind, it was my last one.’ He gave her a teasing smile and twined his hands behind her waist.
‘What?’ She pulled back to look at him.
‘Well . . . I’ve got something to tell you . . .’ he paused, enjoying the suspense. ‘I’ve just been made news editor.’
‘No!!’ She was really shocked now. ‘You’re kidding!!’
‘I’m not.’ Don looked very pleased with himself. ‘I just heard this morning. I told them I wasn’t going to do it because the hours are so long, so they came back with an even better offer and said I could do four days a week, starting in January.’
‘My God! Are you happy?’ she asked, somewhat needlessly.
‘I’m bloody thrilled,’ he said with a smile.
‘No more foreigns, though . . .’ she said, sure he would miss them.
But he surprised her by saying ‘Thank fuck for that!’ with a laugh.
‘Well, congratulations. Four days a week – that’s amazing.’
‘So . . .’ he said ‘What about you?’
‘Well . . . I’ve got some news too actually.’ She locked her eyes onto his, very intently. ‘It’s going to shock you a bit.’ She sounded nervous and he started to feel nervous too.
‘I’ve just found out I’m pregn
ant again. By complete accident, and that’s true this time,’ she added.
‘Oh my God!’ he gasped, then put his arms around her. Resting his chin on her shoulder, he let out a low whistle and said, ‘God, Bella.’
‘It must have been that Saturday. I was so glad you were back . . . I didn’t really think about . . .’
‘Oh yes,’ he cut in. ‘That was very hot.’ He looked at her tenderly. ‘It’s a sign,’ he smiled. ‘We’re meant to be.’
She hugged him close. ‘Thank you Don,’ she whispered and felt tears well up.
‘God,’ he said again and wiped her cheeks with his thumb. ‘Everything’s going to be OK, I promise . . . and I definitely need the coffee now.’
As they walked across the hall to the kitchen stairs, she suddenly stopped him to ask with a smile, ‘Just a minute . . . has any news editor you’ve ever known stayed married?’
‘No, but I see that as a challenge,’ he answered, smiling back.
‘And are you going to be earning more than me now?’
‘Just a tiny, tiny bit more, I think. But no bonuses . . . so . . .’
‘So that’s all right then!!’ She laughed and turned him round so she could kiss him on the mouth.
‘Mmmm . . .’ she said. ‘Just you, me, a hallway. . . it’s like old times.’
‘Just what exactly do you have in mind, Mrs McCartney?’
Unbuttoning his coat and letting it fall on the floor, she answered, ‘Why don’t I just show you, Mr Browning?’
THE END
About the Author
Carmen Reid is the author of the bestselling novels Three In A Bed, Did The Earth Move?, How Was It For You? and Up All Night. Her new novel is The Personal Shopper. After working as a journalist in London she moved to Glasgow, Scotland where she looks after one husband, two children, a puppy, three goldfish and writes almost all the rest of the time.
You can drop her a line at www.carmenreid.com
Also by Carmen Reid
DID THE EARTH MOVE?
HOW WAS IT FOR YOU?
UP ALL NIGHT
THE PERSONAL SHOPPER
and published by Corgi Books
