Charlene sighed loudly as Belle walked over with a tall glass of ice water for Jo. She handed it to her and went to sit in the other armchair. Charlene raised an eyebrow, glancing from one daughter to the other.
‘What is this, an inquisition?’
‘No, Mum,’ Belle said carefully. ‘I asked Jo to come because I’m worried about you, and you won’t tell me what’s going on.’
‘I told you all you need to know, Belle darling,’ said Charlene. ‘You’re such a stress-bunny,’ she shook her head. ‘My sweet little Tinkerbell. Always fussing, even when there’s nothing to fuss about.’
Jo sighed. She could see this wasn’t going to work as a threesome. ‘Can you come here for a minute, Belle?’ she said, getting to her feet and marching back through the kitchen to the front room, Belle scampering along behind her.
Jo turned around to face her once they were out of earshot. ‘You should go pick up Caelen.’
‘But Darren’s picking him up.’
‘Okay, where are the twins?’
‘With Nicole –’
‘– two doors up,’ Jo nodded.
‘That’s right!’ Belle exclaimed, clearly pleased that she remembered.
‘Go to Nicole’s, and stay there,’ Jo instructed. ‘I think it’s better if I talk to Mum alone. She’ll only play us off each other, and we won’t get anywhere.’
Belle nodded. ‘She can be so . . . so intractable.’
Jo blinked, that was unexpected. ‘Yes, she can, Belle, that’s exactly what she is. Intractable. Good word.’
Belle smiled proudly.
‘All right, so you go to Nicole’s,’ said Jo. ‘And I’ll take it from here.’
‘Are you sure?’ she winced.
‘Absolutely.’
‘Thanks,’ she mouthed before throwing her arms around Jo’s neck. ‘I’m so glad you’re here. I love you so much.’
Jo’s throat tightened again, or maybe it was just because Belle was almost choking her in her enthusiasm. Jo removed her arms and propelled her towards the door. ‘Take your mobile, I’ll buzz you when it’s safe to come back.’
She turned down the hall. ‘So, Mum,’ Jo said as she walked into the kitchen, ‘now that it’s just you and me, let’s cut the crap.’
Charlene was at the kitchen bench, making herself another drink.
‘Well, I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,’ she drawled, doing a pretty good impression of Blanche what’s-her-face from that Tennessee Williams play. God, Angie was beginning to rub off on her.
‘You know exactly what I mean, Mother,’ Jo said firmly.
‘I’m going out for a smoke,’ said Charlene, picking up her drink and heading for the sliding doors.
Jo followed her. Charlene put her drink down on the outdoor table and picked up her cigarette packet. Jo had the sudden urge for a cigarette herself, though she hadn’t had so much as a puff in ten years. And she certainly wasn’t going to give her mother the satisfaction of asking for one.
Charlene lit her cigarette and drew back on it deeply as she settled herself in one of the sun-loungers. ‘Pass me my drink, would you, Jo?’
Jo picked up the glass and handed it to her. Then she dragged a garden chair over and sat down, facing her.
‘So what’s going on, Mum?’ she said. ‘What are these tests about?’
Charlene blew out smoke. ‘That’s my business.’
‘Well, you see, it becomes our business when you land on Belle’s doorstep expecting her to put you up, care for you, run you around, when she’s got enough on her plate as it is, with three kids to look after. She doesn’t need another one.’
‘Honestly, you’re so melodramatic, Jo. You always have been.’
‘Then I know who I get it from.’
Charlene shook her head. ‘No, you must have got that from your father, because I’m actually trying to avoid a drama, in case you haven’t noticed.’
‘But you’re not succeeding,’ said Jo. ‘Belle is beside herself, she’s really upset. Don’t you give a bugger about anyone but yourself, Mum?’
‘Of course I do, that’s why I don’t want to bother her with this.’
‘But she is bothered, can’t you see that? You’ve always been so damn self-absorbed, you never saw how what you did affected us.’
Charlene dragged on her cigarette. ‘You know, Jo, you’re a successful journalist with your own apartment in the city. Belle has a wonderful husband, beautiful children and a fabulous home. You two seem to have done all right out of the supposed “difficult childhood” you’re always harping on about.’
Jo couldn’t believe what she was hearing. ‘Are you seriously going to sit there and suggest that you are in any way responsible for the fact that we turned out okay? That we even made it to adulthood?’
‘There you go again with the melodrama.’ Charlene was unmoved. ‘You love to blame it all on me, don’t you, Jo? But you forget that the reason we had it so hard was because your father walked out on us. Things were different then, Jo. They didn’t throw money at single mothers the way they do now, giving them bonuses just for having a baby to begin with. I could have used a handout like that. There was barely even any childcare back then.’
‘Well, you didn’t need childcare, you had me, Mum.’
‘Thank God for you, Jo,’ her words oily with sarcasm. ‘How would we ever have gotten by without you? You have no idea what I went through.’
‘Over a hundred blokes at last count,’ said Jo.
Now she just looked miffed. ‘You don’t seem to realise that I had to rely on the kindness of strangers, I had no choice.’
For crying out loud, she was Blanche de . . . whatever her name was.
‘I don’t remember any “kind strangers”, Mum, only a lot of drunken no-hopers who made our lives a misery.’
‘You can be so smug, Jo. You’ve had one decent boyfriend in the last decade, that big bear of a man you brought here, and how long did he last? It obviously didn’t take him long to get your measure.’
Jo got to her feet, rage bubbling up inside her. She wasn’t going to discuss Joe with Charlene and she wasn’t going to let her get the better of her. ‘Okay, here’s how we’re going to do this. Either you tell me what these tests are about, what’s going on, right here, right now, or I’m personally escorting you to the airport tonight, buying you a ticket and putting you on a plane back to Queensland, where you can do whatever the hell it is you’re doing without any interference from us. I guarantee that. But you can’t have it both ways, Mum. If you want to stay here with Belle, you’re going to give me an explanation right now, or we’re off to the airport. And if you don’t think Belle will back me up on this, then go ahead, put it to the test.
Charlene glared at her but Jo held her gaze. Finally she breathed out loudly. ‘Fine, I have a lump in my breast, are you happy?’
‘So what’s the prognosis?’ Jo asked levelly.
‘It’s malignant,’ said Charlene, stubbing out her cigarette.
‘And?’
‘What do you mean “And?”,’ she asked haughtily. ‘“And” I’m going to cark it, is that what you want to hear?’
‘Who’s being melodramatic now?’ Jo returned, unfazed. ‘What I meant was, what treatment are they recommending? A lumpectomy, a partial mastectomy, a full mastectomy, ray treatment, chemotherapy . . .’
‘When did you become the expert?’
‘I’m a journalist, Mum. I know stuff.’
‘Always the know-it-all, and always rubbing our noses in it,’ Charlene murmured, shaking her head.
‘I’m not rubbing your nose in anything,’ Jo retorted. ‘I just want to know where things stand.’
‘That’s what I’m going to find out tomorrow.’
Jo crossed her arms, looking down at her. ‘Belle’s taking you to your appointment?’
‘She said she would. Do you have a problem with that?’
‘Fine,’ said Jo. ‘I’ll get the details from her and mee
t you there.’
Charlene glared at her. ‘Why are you doing this?’
‘I’m doing it for Belle. I’m going to see to it that she doesn’t have to put up with any more of your nonsense, same as I always have.’
Jo would have preferred to have left then, but she’d promised to stay for dinner, and Belle was more than a little frazzled after she got her aside and filled her in. Somehow they got through the meal, mostly because Belle and Darren’s constant stream of bickering, blended with endless and exhausting interruptions from the kids, did not require or even allow input from anyone else. Jo barely ate, she took a bite here and there, and moved her food around on the plate, but Belle didn’t seem to notice, she was too preoccupied with what her children were eating, or not eating, or smearing over themselves or dropping on the floor. When Jo announced she should get going, Charlene promptly said goodbye and walked outside to smoke. Belle insisted she would drive Jo to the station, despite Darren’s protestations.
‘No way, mister, you can have crazy hour tonight,’ she said, picking up the car keys. ‘I expect the kids to be all tucked in bed by the time I get back, and you can make a start on the dishes as well.’
Belle pulled out of the driveway and turned up the street. ‘I knew it had to be something like this,’ she said gloomily. ‘I just didn’t want to think the worst.’
‘It’s not the worst, Belle,’ said Jo. ‘Breast cancer is the most common cancer in women, but it still lags behind lung and bowel and prostate cancer mortality rates, and well behind heart disease.’
‘You’re not just saying that?’
Jo shook her head. ‘Every pink ribbon day we do saturated coverage on breast cancer, I know the stats almost by heart. It has one of the highest survival rates of all cancers, especially if it’s treated early.’
‘But we can’t be sure how early she’s caught it.’
‘We’ll have a better idea tomorrow.’
Belle glanced at her as she careered through a roundabout. ‘You’re sure you want to come?’
‘Of course.’ She wasn’t. Jo didn’t know why she’d insisted on it, but she just couldn’t leave it all to Belle. It was the right thing to do, to look after a sick parent. It just bugged her that Charlene had not fulfilled her part of the bargain and looked after them a little better when it was her turn.
They drove on mostly in silence, which was unusual for Belle, but Jo supposed she needed to process all this. When they arrived at Sutherland station, Belle pulled the car into the kerb with a scrape of the tyres, and Jo made ready to jump out.
‘Hold on, Jo,’ said Belle, turning off the engine. ‘You haven’t told me about the big mystery.’
Jo glanced at her. Damn. ‘It doesn’t matter.’
‘Yes it does. You looked terrible today, and don’t say it was just because you had to see Mum. You were so quiet at dinner and you hardly ate a thing.’
So she did notice.
‘Besides,’ Belle went on, ‘you promised, and I’m not letting you out of the car till you tell me.’
Jo was not so sure that she had actually promised, and it wasn’t as though Belle could physically stop her from getting out of the car. But she knew she had to tell her. It was just going to be really hard to say it out loud.
‘Joe and I,’ she began, ‘we’re really over this time.’
‘Oh, you two,’ Belle dismissed. ‘You have more ups and downs than a seesaw. It’ll be on again next week, mark my words, Jo . . . Jo?’
She had dropped her head to hide her face and attempt to hold back the tidal wave rising up in her gut.
‘Jo?’
But she couldn’t do it. She covered her face as she burst into tears. Really burst, like a dam. Jo had seen films of dams bursting, their huge concrete walls cracking as the water broke through. That’s how she felt right now, like she was cracking up.
‘Jo!’ Belle exclaimed, obviously startled.
But she couldn’t stop. She kept on crying, wailing even, as huge sobs lurched from deep inside her. Belle undid her seatbelt and sidled closer. She wrapped her arms around her and held her tight, rocking her and shushing her as she would one of the children, rubbing her back in a circular motion. It was strangely mesmerising, and comforting, and after a while Jo wasn’t shaking any more; her tears subsided and she was calm again.
‘Oh my God, Jo,’ Belle sighed. ‘I’ve never seen you cry like that, I’ve barely ever seen you cry! What happened? What on earth did he do to you?’
Jo sat up straight, wiping her eyes. ‘Joe didn’t do anything. His old girlfriend from England arrived on his doorstep, pregnant, with his child.’
‘Oh bugger!’ she gasped.
That was putting it mildly.
Belle looked at her. ‘You really fell hard for him in the end, didn’t you?’
Jo nodded.
‘So what’s going to happen?’
She shrugged. ‘He’s going to do the right thing by her, and the baby, of course.’
‘Of course,’ Belle sighed. ‘You wouldn’t love him if he didn’t.’
‘What?’ Jo frowned.
‘You could never have fallen this hard for someone unless he was a really decent man, who you could trust with your whole heart. But you never thought you’d find anyone like that, I reckon you didn’t even think anyone like that existed. And then you met a guy in an elevator . . . and you had no time to put up all the defences . . .’
‘Oh, but I tried.’
‘I know you did, but it didn’t work, did it?’ said Belle. ‘And you know what that means. Your earthly powers were no match for him. Because he really was the one . . .’
Jo frowned at her. ‘Is this supposed to make me feel better?’
‘Oh, sorry,’ Belle smiled lamely. ‘I’m just saying that you wouldn’t have fallen in love with Joe if he wasn’t the kind of guy who has to leave you to do the right thing. That’s ironic, isn’t it?’
She stared in front of her. ‘Yeah, I believe it might be.’
Belle was watching her. ‘Jo, I can’t let you go home like this. Come back with me and stay the night. We can get drunk.’
But Jo was already shaking her head. ‘This isn’t the kind of thing to get drunk about. It’s bigger than that.’
Belle nodded, understanding. ‘Then come back and we’ll drink hot chocolate, whatever. I don’t want you to be alone.’
‘No, I’ll be okay. I feel a lot better after that cry, I really do. And you’re probably the only person I could cry like that to.’ Except for Joe, she sighed inwardly. ‘I just want to go home now, sleep in my own bed.’
Belle reluctantly agreed, and they hugged again before Jo climbed out of the car.
‘See you tomorrow,’ she said, closing the car door. And then she put one foot in front of the other, and walked down onto the platform to catch her train.
Friday
Joe had finally got to sleep sometime in the early hours of this morning. He hadn’t slept well all week, he was worried about Jo. He hadn’t seen her since he left her apartment on Tuesday morning; she hadn’t shown up at work since. He wanted to call her, but he’d resisted so far, he knew she’d want some space. He finally sent her an email yesterday, only brief, just asking after her, but she hadn’t replied yet. If she wasn’t at work today, he was going to call her regardless; he had to make sure she was all right.
When he had eventually drifted off to sleep, Jo had filled his dreams, as she had every other night. Mostly they were disturbing, nonsensical dreams, but sometimes he dreamed she was lying there in the bed beside him, and he could hold her and kiss her and make love to her. Sometimes they were so vivid, like right now, he knew he was only dreaming, but he could actually feel her hands smoothing across his chest, one hand moving down, slipping under his boxers. He reached for her wrist. ‘Jo.’
‘Joe?’
He opened his eyes to find Sarah was leaning above him. ‘What are you doing?’ He rolled away from her and sat up on the opposite edge of the
bed.
‘Hoping to get reacquainted,’ she said. ‘You always used to like it in the morning.’
‘But, but . . . you’re pregnant.’
‘It’s okay, Joe, it’s not against the rules,’ she said, clearly flustered. ‘I had to do something, I feel so distant from you. If I waited for you to make a move . . .’
Christ, what was he supposed to say to that? He reached down to the floor and grabbed a T-shirt, pulling it over his head. He didn’t feel comfortable sitting here across the bed from her in his underwear.
‘You know you called out your own name then?’ said Sarah. ‘What’s that about?’
Joe rubbed his eyes. ‘The woman I was seeing, her name is Jo.
‘Oh, I see,’ she said, her expression hardening. ‘Well, that must have been funny, you both having the same name.’
‘Everyone seemed to think so,’ he muttered. It was time he gave her the whole story. ‘The thing is, Sarah, I actually did meet Jo the first day I got back home, and I think I even fell in love with her the same day, at least a little. I know that doesn’t amount to three years, but you’re going to have to give me some time to get over her.’
She looked a little vexed. ‘You didn’t say it was that serious.’
‘You didn’t ask. You kind of skipped right over it.’ He paused. ‘But I can’t.’
‘Are you saying you can’t give her up?’
‘I’m saying it’s going to take time.’
‘Are you still seeing her?’
‘No.’
Sarah pulled her robe around her, crossing her arms. ‘So how long do you think it’s going to take?’ she said curtly.
He honestly didn’t know how he was ever going to get over Jo. Or how he could ever be with Sarah again. He couldn’t think about that. The only thing he could do right now was focus on the baby.
‘I suppose . . .’ he hesitated. ‘Well, I guess when the baby comes, we’ll take it from there.’ That was the best he could do.
He could see the pique in her expression. ‘Fine,’ she said. ‘I’ll stay out of your room until I’m invited. Only I was hoping to start fixing up somewhere for the baby, seeing as I don’t have much else to do, and there is only one other bedroom . . . I just thought . . .’
Crossing Paths Page 39
