“But I resent the hell out of the fact that it isn’t my mother sitting at that dining room table.” Joshua hung his head in disgust. “Which is a completely moronic emotion, since my mother has been dead for years.”
“My father died nearly ten years ago and I still miss him,” Eleanor admitted. “Time helps dull the pain, but some of the sadness always remains.”
Joshua lifted his head. “I’m sorry about your dad,” he said softly. “I didn’t know.”
Eleanor shrugged, but the gesture didn’t erase the sadness in her eyes. “He had a massive heart attack in the middle of the night, when I was a sophomore in college. There was nothing anybody could do to save him.”
“It must have been very rough on you.”
“It wasn’t easy.” She turned her gaze to the horizon, staring out at the moonlit sea. “Like you, I’m an only child. Suddenly it was just me and my mother and she completely fell apart. My dad had a decent life insurance policy, but college is expensive and my mother hadn’t held a job in twenty years. Her lack of skills, education, and experience forced her to take a fairly demeaning, low-paying position that I know she must have hated. Yet somehow we managed.”
“So you studied business hoping that you wouldn’t ever find yourself in the same circumstances as your mother,” Joshua remarked, as a big piece of the puzzle fell into place.
Eleanor shook her head. “The business degree was definitely my mother’s idea. I always had a knack with numbers and she felt it was really important for me to be prepared for a growing, financially secure career with a lot of opportunities for women. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do, and she felt very strongly about it, so it seemed logical to follow her advice. Besides, I couldn’t disappoint her after she worked so hard to put me through school.”
“And now?”
Eleanor straightened her spine and raised her chin. “I paid off all of my student loans, helped her buy a beautiful condo in Florida, which is where she always wanted to live, and I’m paying for graduate school.”
Joshua liked the way her eyes glittered with determination. “Time to take charge, huh? How does it feel?”
“Terrifying.” She laughed lightly. The musical sound carried out to the waves and was swallowed up by the night-shrouded sea. “Yet, as the saying goes, better late than never. What about you? Did you always want to work in the firm? Or was it expected?”
Joshua considered her question. “I suppose it was always assumed that I would become involved in the family business, but I was never pushed in that direction by either of my parents. They weren’t the types that wanted me to spend my life fulfilling their dreams. Luckily my ambitions and abilities coincided with the goals of the company. I’ve enjoyed taking charge of the firm. My biggest regret has always been that I was never able to work with my father.”
“Different management styles?” Eleanor inquired sympathetically.
“That’s one way to put it.” Joshua laughed harshly. “We disagreed on everything from how to invest the employee pension fund to the color of the carpet in the executive suites. It’s bad enough we lock horns on a personal level, but at the office it was a war zone.
“In the end I felt I had no choice but to force my father’s retirement, and I’m sure he still resents it. My mother was always the peacemaker in our family. It’s been a rocky few years not having her around to run interference between me and my father.”
She squeezed his shoulder. “Maybe it’s past time to forge your own link with your father. Isn’t that the real reason you’re here?”
There was no need to answer such an obvious question. Joshua took a deep breath and realized with surprise that it felt strangely cathartic to discuss these emotions so openly, honestly, without fear of censure or judgment. He decided a female perspective was one thing that had been missing from his life for too long.
“I’m beginning to wonder if it has gone too far for a real reconciliation,” Joshua said, almost afraid to voice his deepest fear. It made the possibility of failure seem alarmingly real. “Now that my father has a new wife, in essence a new family, perhaps the most I can hope for is a polite, pleasant relationship. Not exactly ideal, but certainly an improvement over the endless tension we now share.”
Eleanor clutched his forearm tightly. “You can’t give up so quickly, Joshua. It will get better. You just need to try a little harder, and be patient.”
He listened to the certainty in her voice and realized how much he wanted to believe her. “It’s that simple?”
“No, it isn’t simple.” She exhaled slowly. “We both know it’s not easy. But it is worth working toward. I know you feel that way, or else you wouldn’t be here right now.”
She was right. He had come down here expecting the worst, thinking he was prepared to cope with it. Things hadn’t precisely worked out as he expected, except for the worst part, but he wasn’t ready to quit yet.
Joshua inhaled the balmy air, marveling at how a little discussion could so radically improve his outlook. Thanks to Eleanor. He moved toward her, feeling a deep need to share a physical closeness with her while he thanked her . . . for listening, for understanding, for caring.
Her eyes grew large and round as he neared. He saw her throat move as she swallowed hard, swayed a little, and glanced away. Still, he came closer.
His intentions were noble, pure, nonsexual. Yet as he drew near he instantly became aware of two surprising facts. She was incredibly nervous, and he found that oddly exhilarating. Sexually exciting. He hesitated, almost afraid to touch her. Out here in the moonlight she looked different, almost delicate, with fragile limbs and wide, innocent brown eyes.
He continued to stare at her, studying the way the soft moonlight played over her face. His gaze traveled down to the swell of her breasts, which were full and tempting. She was a lush creature, not provocatively sexual, yet feminine and alluring in a unique way.
Knowing he wouldn’t be able to rest until he touched her softness, Joshua lifted his hand. He caressed her cheek lightly, then moved his fingers along her jaw, back and forth against the smooth skin.
“It’s getting late,” she croaked out. “I should probably go inside.”
“Probably,” he whispered thickly, sliding his fingers under her hair until he found the nape of her neck.
She tilted her head into his caress and sighed with pleasure. He felt a burst of desire that was entirely improper given the circumstances. Joshua struggled to keep himself rigidly restrained, but it was difficult. A strange need that could not be easily ignored rippled through him.
He continued to move his hand slowly and gently along her slender neck, trying to ease the tension he felt in her. Yet his touch served to heighten, not diminish the sizzle between them.
For several long moments neither of them moved. Indecision and common sense dominated Joshua’s thoughts, but he deliberately shut them down. This was not a moment for thinking. This was a moment of feelings and emotions . . . and actions.
Joshua shifted his position so that he was standing directly in front of Eleanor. Slowly, carefully, he pulled her closer. She gave a startled gasp, but didn’t resist. Within seconds, she stood between the span of his muscular legs, her eyes wide. He could feel her slight trembling. Her nerves put his on edge, building the excitement, heightening the anticipation.
He leaned toward her and a hint of color bloomed in her cheeks. For the first time he noticed her full and well-shaped lips. Lovely. Her tongue darted out nervously and she licked those pouting lips. They glistened with moist invitation and filled him with sudden, hot urgency.
Joshua knew he probably shouldn’t. But he did it anyway.
His mouth came down over hers swiftly, dominating all thoughts. She made a tiny sound. Of surprise? Of pleasure? Of encouragement?
For an instant it seemed as though time stood still. Then her lips parted beneath his. He took her deeply with his tongue. She tasted like moonlight and mystery. Eleanor made a small, whimpering
sound and pressed her hands into his chest. He could feel her fingers clenching and unclenching as he deepened the kiss further.
Heat and need sank into his belly. Acting instinctively, Joshua moved his hands to her shoulders. He held her tightly, keeping her body pressed against his. She felt delicious. Willing, exciting, and oh, so womanly. Her nipples were brushing against the thin cotton of his shirt, making his body pound and throb.
He could feel his control begin to fracture, as the urge to slip his hands beneath her dress and caress her soft, womanly curves became unbearable. It would have been so easy to progress to the next step, to completely throw caution to the wind and act on this heady thrill of sensual power.
Yet Joshua pulled back just in time, before passion completely obliterated all his senses and he started tugging at buttons, wrestling with bra clasps, exploring those beautiful, full breasts and tight, puckered nipples.
With great reluctance, he gently ended their kiss. Eleanor shuddered and listed to the right, clearly wobbly on her feet. He steadied her within the circle of his arms and then regretfully stepped back.
His sexual frustration was acute, yet he tamped down his own desires. This was not the time, nor the place, nor the woman to be doing this with. Was it?
A slash of moonlight illuminated her face. Her hair was mussed, her lips swollen, her eyes still darkened with unfulfilled passion. Joshua hesitated, not certain what to say.
“I . . . ah ... um . . .” Eleanor tried to speak. Failing, she turned her head away. The uncertainty he glimpsed on her face filled him with unexpected tenderness.
“I’m very glad that you’re here with me this weekend,” he finally whispered. “Good night, Eleanor.”
Taking a deep breath, Joshua turned and walked away, discovering, to his great surprise, it was far more difficult than he ever would have imagined.
Seven
Eleanor awoke to the muffled, distant sound of deep, male voices. Momentarily disoriented, she tried sitting up, but got herself tangled in the soft cotton sheets. With a growl of frustration, she twisted and turned, then kicked away the light covering. Her furious efforts left her winded, but she paused only a moment before swinging her legs over the edge of the high bed and sliding down to the floor.
She paused to listen, but all was quiet. Eleanor shook her head to clear the cobwebs, then lifted her arms and stretched, working out the kinks in her lower back. The room felt warm, the air heavy. She wondered what time it was, but the ornate antique clock was on the far side of the room and she couldn’t read the delicate gilt face from this distance.
Eleanor sighed and pushed the heavy mass of hair off her face. Damp tendrils remained plastered against her neck. The sticky heat of the room seemed to seep into her bones and Eleanor realized that turning off the air-conditioning last night so she could open the window and listen to the ocean might not have been the best idea.
Of course she hadn’t exactly been thinking clearly last night when she’d tried falling asleep. For the first hour she had sat up on the high four-poster bed, her eyes trained on the connecting door between her room and Joshua’s.
She had strained her ears listening for the creak of the bed or a rustling of sheets or the sound of footsteps approaching, trying to convince herself she didn’t hold a faint glimmer of hope that he was going to knock on that door. And ask to come into her room.
It was a foolish notion and yet, who would have ever believed that he would have taken her in his arms and kissed her? And that the reality of those kisses would have been even more magical, more exciting than the fantasy she had weaved?
Eleanor willingly conceded she had a rather fanciful imagination, but there was no denying the rush of excitement, the flash of desire that their moonlit kiss had sparked. Still, the most remarkable discovery was the knowledge that the passion had been mutual.
Their bodies had been pressed close, close enough that she could easily feel Joshua’s readiness to take the embrace far beyond a few kisses. But he had stopped. And she had let him.
So for the second hour after retreating to her lonely room last night, Eleanor had lain on her back and stared up at the ceiling, reminding herself again and again of all the reasons a romance between her and Joshua was nothing more than an unrealistic fantasy, born of some deep, impossible dream.
Rather like the notion that someone could create great-tasting, nonfat, no-calorie chocolate ice cream.
By the start of the third hour, Eleanor had been thoroughly depressed and completely disgusted with herself for feeling that way, so she’d opened the window to listen to the ocean, hoping the sound of the waves would drown out her melancholy. Thankfully nature’s gentle sea noises had helped lure her to sleep.
Morning had brought sunshine, more heat, and a healthy dose of much-needed reality. It took only the light of day and a glance at the elegant splendor of her bedroom furnishings for Eleanor to remind herself that she was an ordinary woman and Joshua was an extraordinary man. And never the twain shall meet.
Deciding a cool, refreshing shower was the best way to prepare for the day, Eleanor headed toward the bathroom. But she stopped upon hearing the deep male voices again. She frowned, thinking she might have conjured them up, but the volume grew louder. Not loud enough for her to distinguish actual words in the conversation, but enough to realize that she hadn’t been dreaming when she’d heard them before.
Barefoot, she padded over to the window and carefully pushed aside the sheer curtain. Immediately she spied Joshua and his father walking side-by-side toward the terraced patio directly below her window.
Both men were wearing wet bathing trunks. Obviously they had just been swimming, either in the pool or the ocean. Together? Eleanor crossed her fingers, hoping that was the case.
They reached the edge of the patio and turned to climb up the steps. Eleanor sucked in her breath and pressed the palm of her hand to her chest. Be still my heart. Warren was wearing a white T-shirt over his wet bathing suit, but Joshua was shirtless, with only a towel draped nonchalantly around his neck to cover the perfection of his broad shoulders, naked chest, and flat abdomen.
With a small sigh she realized there wasn’t an ounce of fat on his lean, athletic body. She reasoned he was at least six inches taller than she was, so he had to weigh more than she did. All in all, a minor comfort.
The impact of his male virility hit her, even at this distance. Yet while his sexual magnetism might have captured her attention, it was the other stuff that truly fascinated her.
She liked the glimpse of insecurity she had seen last night when they talked about his relationship with his father. She liked how he had acted so commandingly with the snobby sales clerk in the expensive dress shop. She liked his intellect and humor. She didn’t even mind his moments of brooding intensity.
Still, all the liking or disliking wouldn’t make much difference for the future. But it could make this weekend far more interesting.
More voices interrupted her thoughts. Eleanor craned her neck to gain a better view of the patio. A small group of people entered her line of vision. Joshua and his father both moved forward to greet this merry band. Three men and five women, of indeterminable ages. All she could really tell from this vantage point was that they were slim, tanned, and expensively dressed.
With a sinking feeling, Eleanor remembered Rosemary mentioning at dinner last night that house guests would be arriving early in the day, in anticipation of tonight’s formal party. Disheartened, she let the curtain fall back into place and stepped away from the window.
Oh, goody. Just what she needed. A group of rich, sophisticated people challenging her already fledgling self-confidence.
Her earlier idea about spending the remainder of her visit hiding out in her room took on even greater appeal. This was hardly the crowd for her. After all, she was a woman who would willingly wear slimming black in the middle of an August heat wave instead of torturing herself by doing a single sit-up.
Eleanor sat on
the edge of her bed, distractedly picking at the minuscule pieces of lint on the spread. It was no use sulking. She had agreed to be Joshua’s date for the weekend and was committed to keeping her word. There really wasn’t much she could do about her uncomfortable feelings except chalk them up as one more consequence of the weekend that she hadn’t exactly thought out.
After her cooling shower, Eleanor felt a little better. She put on a one-piece bathing suit and terry cloth cover-up that fell to her knees. The key to survival was having a plan. If the beautiful people were still outside on the patio, she would pop over for a quick introduction and then head for the beach.
She walked slowly down the steps of the grand staircase and through the house, encountering no one. With each step Eleanor gave herself a much-needed pep talk, reiterating that although her current social life was dismal, she was usually good at making light conversation, even under awkward circumstances.
Besides, these people were all strangers that she would in all likelihood never see again. Making a good impression was not essential. All she really needed to do was prevent herself from making a disastrous one.
Eleanor paused at the French doors to glance again at the group gathered on the patio. From this distance they looked even more intimidating. Resolutely she opened the door and stepped outside.
No one noticed her. She took another small step. Despite the warm sun, Eleanor shivered, then realized the chill came from the fear inside her. Not only was the prospect of meeting all these unfamiliar people making her nervous, but she was greatly concerned over how she was going to face Joshua again without letting her embarrassment about last night’s kisses show.
It wasn’t easy, but she somehow managed to get her feet to move. Rallying her waning courage, Eleanor walked out onto the patio with a smile plastered on her lips that felt as though it was threatening to crack her face in half.
Again, no one seemed to notice her arrival. They were all too busy greeting and preening for each other. Eleanor sighed with hope. Maybe she could just glide past them with a casual wave and a friendly hello.
A Night to Remember Page 9
