by Abbey Foxx
“What on earth is going on here?”
Dad looks at the scene with a face twisted by confusion. Tilly up by the wall, obviously pissed off, me standing in the middle of the room dressed for a game, laughing like I’ve just been told the world’s funniest joke. It’s kind of a weird thing to see first thing in the morning.
I compose myself as best I can, but tears are streaming out of my eyes and it takes me a moment to speak without stuttering.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. Oh man, I was just heading out for some practise. I didn’t think you two would be here to be honest. I thought everyone would already be up eating breakfast or out looking for animals.”
I hold my hands up to apologize, but Tilly’s having none of it. I didn’t expect her to get this scared to be honest, but she looks like she’s seen a ghost. The whole thing has worked perfectly.
“Practise? Are you serious? Since when is waking people up in the middle of the night, dressed like some fucking cartoon character part of an American football game?”
“Tilly, language.”
I decide now might be a good time to take off my helmet.
“I’m sorry, I was trying to be quiet. I guess I got a bit excited. I didn’t mean to wake anyone up.”
Rachel looks more concerned by her daughter’s somewhat erratic appearance than mine. “Tilly, are you alright?”
All eyes go to Tilly.
“No, I’m not alright. He woke me up. On purpose.”
All eyes come to me.
“I must have tripped over the bed trying to find the door handle. I guess it’s kind of hard not to wake someone up if they sleep in the living room.”
Tilly narrows her eyes at me. “You asshole.”
“Right, that’s enough.”
This is like some kind of contemporary American Mexican stand off. It’s a weird scene - me in my team kit, Dad and Rachel in matching pajamas, Tilly like some rising star in a barely legal porn film. We could all be extras in a kind of odd theatre production.
“We might as well get up now and make the most of the day.”
At least Rachel is positive.
“I was sleeping.”
“And now you can make the most of the day. Besides which, Landon is right, sleeping in here might not be the most convenient place if you want to lie in.”
Any lower and Tilly’s jaw would be scrapping on the floor. When she realizes she’s outnumbered, unfairly so or not, she barges past me, pushing her shoulder strongly into my chest before entering the bathroom and slamming the door. A moment later, before any of us have even had a chance to say another word, she’s back out amongst us. We all watch her rifle around in her bag of clothes, pull out a suitable outfit and disappear again into the bathroom.
The walls are too thin to hide her frustrated screams.
“What an earth has got into her?” Rachel says.
I shrug. “Beats me. Maybe she’s just not a morning person like the rest of us.”
We eat breakfast in silence. Actually, that’s not strictly true. Dad, Rachel and I eat breakfast like a family would, and because Tilly refuses to sit down at the table she eats hers on her own at the very end of the garden.
I think she’s still pissed off with me. Yeah, alright, no one wants to get woken up like that, but there’s no point in dwelling on it either. It’s done, there’s nothing she can do to change it, she might as well suck it up and move on. I tell her that, but all it does is infuriate her further. I bet she’s just pissed off she didn’t think of doing it to me first.
When I’ve eaten, and Dad and Rachel have sorted out their plans for the day, I go and find Tilly to try and get her back on side.
It’s only been a couple of hours, but I don’t think I can cope with the prospect of six more days of the silent treatment, especially not here in the middle of nowhere, and even though she wasn’t exactly my number one fan before this morning, at least she was still talking to me.
Dad and Rachel want to go for a country walk, which means if Tilly’s still giving me the stink eye, I either go with them and get bored, or I stay here and get bored. If she’s going to give up so easily, just because of a little early morning fright, I might as well call it a day now and go back to the city. Whether she likes me or not I can cope with, what I can’t cope with is her ignoring me completely.
What did she expect when she was told she was getting a new big brother anyway? If she’s got anyone to blame it’s her mom and my dad for deciding to bring the families together.
I find her at the end of the garden looking out over the endless countryside beyond it.
“Nice color, red, it suits you.”
There’s that look again, like she could melt lead just by thinking about it.
“Fuck off.”
I guess I shouldn’t have started with a joke, even if I meant it.
“Come on, Tilly, I was only messing around.”
“Whatever.”
I sit down on the grass next to her.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
“You know you swear a lot for someone so cute?”
I don’t get anything but an eye roll to that comment. She doesn’t move away though, which I guess is a positive sign.
“I mean it. You know, if you weren’t my step-sister.”
“Stop fucking around, Landon.”
“And if I wasn’t already out of the game.”
“You are unbelievable, you know that? You are so arrogant that you think I’d be interested in you even if you were available? That for some reason you telling me all of this is somehow helping me to forget about this morning and helping us form a bond with each other.”
“I’m just saying.”
“This is how you apologize? You tell me you would fuck me if you could. Do you even know how fucked up that is?”
This is going less well than I thought it would, and I’m not even sure how we got onto this subject.
“I was just trying to pay you a compliment, that’s all.”
“Yeah, well, don’t is my advice.”
“I didn’t say I’d fuck you either. You said that. I just said you were cute.”
Tilly shakes her head. She is cute, even if she doesn’t realize it. I get the impression that not enough people have told her it. Actually, thinking about it, I probably would fuck her if she wasn’t my step-sister and I hadn’t been banned from any kind of situation like this that could get me in trouble. She’s hot. Young and inexperienced maybe, but definitely feisty. She’s in denial too, and I can see it even if she doesn’t. That turns me on. Just me being her stepbrother isn’t going to stop her from crushing on me. It might stop her from taking it any further, and it’ll definitely make her deny it, but it won’t stop her from feeling what she does.
“What do you want?”
“Why don’t you admit it?”
“Why don’t I admit what?”
“It’s not weird you know if we’re not related. It’s pretty normal. You just don’t want to admit it because it’ll mean I’m right.”
“You are unbelievable.”
Tilly’s smiling a little now, I think because there’s nothing else she can do. Smiling, shaking her head, going red like the color of her panties.
“Anyway, my dad and your mom are going on a nature trail together and they want to know if we are going to go with them.”
“What did you tell them?”
“I told them I’d ask you and see what you were going to do.”
“I’m pissed off with you, Landon, you know that right? This morning was completely out of order.”
“Come on, Tilly, it wasn’t that bad. Are you going to stay pissed off with me all vacation for something so stupid?”
“Probably.”
I know she isn’t. I know she’s already softening. I know she’s probably at her happiest when I’m giving her attention, and I know she probably loves the fact that I’ve come all the way down here to talk to her even though she�
�s doing her best to pretend that she doesn’t. Who wouldn’t?
“At least you’re talking to me again.”
“Are you really that shallow that you can’t cope with someone not giving you attention for an hour?”
“Yes, I’m really that shallow. Come on, I don’t want us to spend the whole week fighting, I was only messing around.”
“And I’m not talking to you anyway. Not really. I haven’t forgiven you yet.”
“Yes you have.”
“I’ll kill you if you wake me up like that again.”
“How would you like me to wake you up then? Ah, wait, I think I know how.”
“You’re disgusting.”
“I haven’t said anything. You’re the one with the dirty mind.”
Tilly pulls at a handful of grass and throws it towards me.
“How long have you been banned off it? Is this what I’ve got to cope with? Landon Maddox, the sex addict.”
“Too long, and I’ve got to last all summer. All next season probably too, unless I can find someone that doesn’t want to sell their story. It’s insane, and completely unfair.”
“Poor Landon.”
I tear at the grass myself, throwing a handful in her direction.
“It means you and I are out, so don’t even think about trying to seduce me. If the press got hold of a story about me fucking my stepsister, my career would be finished.”
“Maybe we should do it then, it might make you realize how much of a complete and utter dick you are.”
“Oh, don’t worry about that, I already know how much of a dick I am.”
Tilly holds my gaze for a while before looking away.
“That’s not what I meant.”
I jab my fingers into her ribs to get her attention.
“Hey!” She pushes me hands away and regains her distance.
“Why do you hate me so much anyway?”
“If you don’t know already, I’ll give you a week to find out.”
“Not planning to see me after the vacation then?”
Tilly shakes her head.
“No, not if I can avoid it.”
“Perhaps you won’t be able to.”
“You think I won’t be able to resist you? Landon Maddox, the biggest head in the NFL.”
“Your words, not mine.”
“Your world, not mine.”
“It is now.”
“Not if I can help it.”
I see her eyes dip, caught by something.
“I can see you’re already doing that well.”
“Landon?”
“What?”
“Landon!”
I follow her eyes down to where they are indicating for me to look and realize I’m erect. I’m not just semi hard either, I’m practically poking out of the pocket of my jeans. Tilly puts her hand over her mouth in what is either shock or a damn good impression of it.
“Fuck.”
I knew I was stirring, but I hadn’t realized just by how much. When you’ve got a big dick, it’s kind of hard to hide it sometimes. I can’t help but laugh. I try to reposition myself to hide it, but it isn’t working. I’ve been rumbled. I’ve also been taken by surprise. That’s never happened on any of the modelling shoots I’ve done, so I’ve no idea why it’s happening now. Maybe the body lusts what it knows it can’t have. That would make things a little complicated.
It takes me a moment to realize that Tilly still has her hand over her mouth, not because she’s shocked by what she’s seen, but because she’s trying not to laugh too. It’s her mother’s voice rolling across the garden towards us that finally kills it and brings us both back to reality.
Tilly
What a prick. If he thinks I’m going to fall for yet another cheap shot, he’s got another thing coming. After that bullshit wake up call this morning, I’m not going to let him play me like he thinks he is. I know what he wants. He wants me to throw myself at him like every other dumb bimbo that comes under his spell, and embarrass myself in the process.
Well that isn’t going to happen. Even if I wanted it to, it wouldn’t, and just for the record, I don’t want it to. It’s the last thing I want. His hands all over me? That thing between his legs between mine? Not a chance in hell. Not even if hell freezes over and we are the last two people on this planet. Not Landon Maddox. Not now, not ever. I wouldn’t give him the pleasure.
We’re going for a walk, as a family, although it turns out in order to get to the beginning of the trail Marvin has chosen, we have to drive there first, for an hour and thirty minutes, along windy paths that look like farmer’s tracks.
We’re not more than twenty minutes from the house before we get lost, find out we’ve gone full circle twice and have to flag a passing tractor down to get directions. I would have stayed at home if I was left with that option, but apparently if I had done, I would have let the team down. Not even family anymore, team. Even more so because Landon seemed so enthusiastic that I came along. Either we all go or none of us go. He’s like a puppy with too much energy that’s decided it won’t leave me alone.
I’m not exactly dressed for it, but neither is Landon. I might not have the country look, but at least I’ve had the presence of mind to wear boots. I’ll give the all star athlete ten minutes before he starts complaining his feet are sore. That should serve him right.
To be fair, the scenery here is spectacular, and although it’s hot, it’s nice to be out of that tiny house and in the middle of nowhere. I thought I’d never say it, but being in the middle of nowhere is actually a lot more relaxing that I thought it would be. I’ve brought my cell anyway, just, you know, on the off chance there’s a signal out here, but I’d be just as happy not being able to use it.
Marvin has selected what he has referred to as a gentle hike, which is supposed to take us past a lake and nature reserve stocked full of a wide variety of different birds and other wildlife with important but impossible to remember names, and back to the car in a kind of oval loop. I had no idea he was such a geek about stuff like this, which makes me wonder briefly whether Landon might not be his biological son after all, until a close analysis of their mannerisms tells me otherwise.
They don’t look all that similar, but they carry themselves almost exactly the same way. It’s curious. Landon’s undoubtedly got swag, but on his dad it comes across as something different. It’s the same movement with a completely different drive. On Landon it comes across as arrogance, whereas on Marvin it’s something more akin to deference. If he paid attention, Landon could learn a lot from his father.
Over the first fifteen minutes of the walk, I find myself watching Mom and wondering how similar the two of us are. I never knew how much of a geek she was either, but with Marvin by her side, the two of them look like a matching pair of nerds. Both of them have their binoculars ready to spy the birds, their trekking boots to weather all conditions, waterproof shorts and jacket, and no doubt a box of rations in case of emergency. She’s nothing like me, thank God. I would die if I ended up like that.
Out here, Landon is like a little child. He’s either running from the end of one field to the next, chasing away birds, picking flowers he shouldn’t or just generally causing mayhem. Actually, he’s more like a little dog than a little boy, because children are generally much more intelligent. Maybe he’s never seen the countryside at all. He’s certainly giving that impression.
Thirty minutes in, when Landon has worn himself out enough, and although he’s not saying it but I know his feet are sore from wearing the stupid team issue flip flops he’s brought along, we all kind of fall into a line and trudge along the sun beated track, Marvin at the front, Landon at the back and Mom and I pegged in the middle.
“I’m hungry.”
“What do you want me to do about it?”
“Did we bring any food?
“Did I bring any food, or did you bring any food?”
“Dad?”
Like I say, he can’t go two minutes wi
thout needing some kind of attention. I guess it’s that ego he has to feed.
“We’ll have lunch when we get back home.”
“We have to wait until we get back home? Didn’t you bring any chocolate or anything?”
“No.”
“That’s not very survivalist, is it?”
“You’ll have to catch and kill a duck.”
“I can’t believe we didn’t bring any chocolate.”
We stop for a moment while Marvin points out some exotic species of bird in the air, which Landon and I can’t see because we don’t have binoculars. We all have to wait patiently until Marvin confirms it’s flown over, and all I see are wisps of cloud and hazy lines choked by too much sun. When Marvin has jotted it down in the notebook he carries around his neck, we get going again.
“Mom, since when have you been into birding?”
“Oh, you know, I’ve always dabbled.”
Mom has never dabbled. I doubt she even knows the difference between a goose and a swan, she’s here because Marvin is. I let it go. The last thing I want to do is break her illusion. If she’s happy because he is, that’s fine by me. It’s not my thing, but he’s not my husband either.
“So, Tilly, got a boyfriend?”
Now? He chooses this moment to ask me whether I’ve got a boyfriend.
“Had.”
What the fuck? “Mom!”
“You did have.”
“That question wasn’t for you though, was it?”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to-. It’s the same answer though isn’t it?”
“Warbler”, Marvin says quickly and stops so abruptly that I crash into Mom and Landon stumbles into the back of me.
“Jesus Christ.”
Again we wait patiently for the bird to fly over and Marvin to jot it down in his notebook.
“What happened?”
“What do you mean what happened? Nothing happened. We split up, that’s it.”
“What did he dump you for?”
This time I’m the one who stops sharply. Landon is smiling when I turn around to him.
“Come on, anyone who says ‘we split up’ really means they got dumped.”
“It’s none of your business.”
“Come on, I was just making conversation.”
