by Harlow Layne
12:58 p.m. Luke: No. Have you dated anyone since that one guy?
01:00 p.m. Alex: No. He definitely put me off dating for a long while.
01:02 p.m. Luke: Definitely not the way you want to get back into the dating world. You told me he freaked out, but not why, and how long were you married?
01:03 p.m. Alex: I was married for 11 years.
01:04 p.m. Alex: Matt freaked out because he thought I cheated on him when it was actually him.
01:05 p.m. Luke: Why did he think that?
01:06 p.m. Alex: First of all, I’m not a cheater. Never have been and never will be. He thought that because I’d been texting a guy friend of his. We’re now really good friends because of the whole ordeal. He drove me home from LA since I couldn’t fly.
01:08 p.m. Luke: Why couldn’t you fly?
01:08 p.m. Luke: It happened in LA?!
01:10 p.m. Alex: I had a concussion and a broken arm. The doctor advised against it so Jenner drove me home from LA.
01:12 p.m. Luke: That must have been horrible.
01:13 p.m. Alex: It was and when I got back home Mason was a mess. I don't ever want to do that to him again. When you met me was the first time I'd been back to LA since the wreck.
01:14 p.m. Luke: I'm glad you were there.
01:15 p.m. Luke: SHIT! I'm late. I'll try to call as soon as I can or message you. Gotta go!
01:16 p.m. Alex: Bye. I hope you didn't get in any trouble.
Anna had been on a break from filming when she first started calling me and when she went back to work she was busy, but it had never really registered how little free time she had and if it was anything like Luke's then she’d used a good portion of it on me. Knowing that it made me appreciate her friendship even more.
The same went for Jenner. He managed for quite some time to find time every day to call or message me once he got back to LA and while filming his latest movie which had taken him to Quebec. But we never really talked for too long.
Looking back on it, meeting Matt wasn't so bad when I considered all the people I’d met and had come into my life. I still hadn't figured out what Luke wanted from me and it was going to take forever for us to get to know one another with the pace we were going.
It didn't matter if Luke only wanted to be friends or not. I was happy he was in my life and maybe getting to know each other with him across the country would help me the next time I saw him instead, of being an idiot who acted like I’d never been in the presence of anyone who was good looking.
The truth was I’d never been around anyone in all my life who affected me quite like Luke. If he was a mind reader, I was sure he'd want nothing to do with me after all my inappropriate lustful thoughts. Don't even get me started on the dreams that Luke had started to appear in. It hadn't even been a week since I met Luke and there wasn’t a night that went by where I didn't have to grab my Hitachi out of my nightstand and finish myself off. I imagined this was what a pubescent teenage boy went through and here I was, thirty. I could barely make it through a day without picturing Luke - either from when I had met him or in my memories of all the dirty things he’d done to me in my dreams the night before - without my sex clenching and my cheeks becoming flushed.
Hopefully the time we took to get to know one another would set my brain straight and I would treat him like I did any of my other male friends. Maybe his hotness would be gone or diminish the more I got to know him. I had to hope so, because otherwise it was going to be hard to be his friend when all I wanted to do was jump him.
5
One Week Later
11:01 p.m. Luke: I'm done early. Are you still up?
11:05 p.m. Alex: I'm still up! I've been trying to get this website to look exactly like what the client wants but they keep changing their minds. I might be up all night trying at this rate.
11:08 p.m. Luke: I hope you're not doing all these changes for free.
11:10 p.m. Alex: It's in my contract that they only get so many changes included and they've been changing everything each time I show them the update. So, they’re paying me hourly now for all these changes they want made.
11:12 p.m. Alex: How was your day? I'm glad you're done early.
11:15 p.m. Luke: It was good but long. I don't know what it is about this set. Hey, can I call you, this would be so much easier?
Instead of answering back, I hit the call button and waited for him to answer.
“Hey!” Luke answered in high spirits.
“Hey,” I answered, leaning back in my chair. “What were you saying about your set?”
“Normally everyone is easy to get along with, but for some reason hardly anyone talks to me. There's no one to make small talk with while I'm standing around. The only person who talks to me is the makeup artist.”
“Poor baby.”
“I know I shouldn't be whining because I love my job and the character I'm playing, but it gets lonely when there's no one to talk to, and I see others talking all the time. That's not how it is on Night Shadows.” Luke let out a deep breath that sounded as if he'd been holding it in for a very long time. I had a feeling that the situation had been weighing on him for awhile.
“I wish there was something I could do to help you. I'd talk to you if I was there.”
“You could come and see me soon.”
“Luke, I don't know. I can't just up and leave. I would love to visit you, but…”
“I understand,” Luke said interrupting me, unable to hide the sadness in his voice.
“I'll see what I can do, but it may be awhile. How long are you going to be in New York?”
I couldn't let Decker know that I was going to go out of town while he had Mason, or he'd cancel with some bullshit excuse.
“Until the middle of October,” Luke answered with his accent slightly stronger, making me smile.
“I'm sure I can come before then. Let me look at my calendar tomorrow and see if I can find a time that will work for the both of us. You have some weekends off, right?”
“There are a few between now and then that I have off.” I could feel his excitement through the phone and I'd do everything in my power not to disappoint him.
“What time do you have to be on set in the morning,” I asked.
Luke groaned into the phone and then there was a rustling sound. “4:15.”
“I don't want to get off the phone with you, but it's almost one o’clock your time. You need to get some sleep.”
“I know, but it's so nice talking to you. I'd rather lose sleep than miss hearing your voice.”
“Oh, Luke. If you keep saying such sweet things to me I'm going to fall in love with you.”
Clapping my hand over my mouth, I realized my mistake immediately. Going by the radio silence on the other end of the line I was sure Luke was done talking to me.
Clearing my throat, I said the only thing I could in that moment. “I'll talk to you soon.” Or not, I muttered as I hung up.
Since I couldn’t concentrate on anything but Luke the next day, and was getting no work done, I decided to call my friend and see if he could help me with the male perspective.
Answering on the fourth ring, Reeves immediately asked if everything was okay. I hated that his mind went directly toward worry, but I couldn’t help that I secretly loved all the new people in my life and how much they had brought into it.
Letting out a long sigh, I answered. “I’m fine. Well, not exactly fine, but… okay, I’m not fine. Jenner, I think I messed up with Luke.” I couldn’t help the sniffle that came out after the words left my mouth.
“Want to tell me what happened? Did you guys get in a fight?”
“No, we haven’t fought. We’ve barely gotten to speak to one another. I seriously don’t know how you have time to talk to me because Luke sure as hell doesn’t.”
Jenner guffawed into the phone. “Please don’t take this the wrong way because I’m not trying to toot my own horn, but I’ve been in a few major movies and I don’t ha
ve to prove myself any longer. I’m not saying I’m not busy when I’m filming because I am, and it is tiring, don’t get me wrong. Luke hasn’t had any big break through movie roles yet and sometimes directors are hard on actors that come from TV series. I’m not saying it’s fair, but it’s what I’ve seen, and I’m definitely not saying that Luke is a shit actor because he isn’t. From what I know about him and his career, Luke doesn’t want to be stereotyped and I totally get that. He’s done a little bit of everything, but with each new thing he tries, he has to prove himself. That’s my two cents and I could be very wrong about what’s going on with him or he could be lying to you. Sorry,” Jenner added the last in a sad tone that said he didn’t want to have to tell me this, but it was possible.
“You could be right, and I may never know because I think he’s done talking to me.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because I said the ‘L’ word.”
“What?” Jenner sputtered out. He sounded as if he was choking.
Even though it sounded bad, I couldn’t help but laugh. What was with men and the ‘L’ word?
“I didn’t tell him I loved him. Jeez, we barely know each other.”
“Then what did you say about love?” Jenner coughed again. I found this strange since surely, he had to love his wife to still be with her and give her the benefit of the doubt.
“He said something that I thought was sweet, which isn’t something I’m used to from guys, and I told him that if he wasn’t careful and kept saying things like that, I would fall in love with him. Afterwards he said nothing, and I haven’t heard from him since.”
“Ouch.” I could imagine Jenner flinching on the other side of the phone.
“Ouch is right. I didn’t realize until after radio silence just how much I like him and now I think he’s done with me.”
“I don’t think he’s done with you. If it went down as you say it did then maybe he was a little taken aback by your comment, but I would give him time.” Jenner cleared his throat a couple of times before he spoke. “What’s going on between you two?”
Shaking my head, I let out a sad sigh. “Truthfully, I have no clue what’s going on. I think he’s lonely and just wants a friend. Why he’d choose me is anyone’s guess. Why else would he want to be around me?”
“But you want more?”
“I don’t know what I want except that I don’t want to get my hopes up. Maybe I’m not dating material. If he ever calls again, I’ll happily be his friend.”
“Has Luke ever said he just wants to be friends?”
“No, he’s never said anything about what’s going on between us. Isn’t that the definition of being in the friend zone?”
“Not necessarily, I think he wants to get to know you a little better before he puts himself out there. It’s hard in this business to know if the people that surround you are around you for you, or if they’re using you. I would think in your case it would be pretty obvious. He met you when you were with some top-notch celebrities and yet you don’t care about that. You just see them as your friends. I mean I could tell right away that you didn’t care about my fame or if it died the next day.”
“Wow! You got all of that from the little amount of time you’ve known me?”
“Yeah, you’re easy to read in that sense.”
“Are you saying I’m not always easy to read?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying, and that’s fine because like you and Luke, we are getting to know each other. I didn’t expect you to tell me your life story.”
“But you do now?” I joked. It was true that I kept some things to myself. I’d learned from Decker not to be open about my feelings or give any information about myself, and it was going to be a hard habit to break.
“I hope that as time goes on, you won’t hide yourself from your friends, me included. I know you have your reasons.”
“Thanks. It’s a hard habit to break when you’ve done it for so long. And I want you to know that if your career died tomorrow I would care, but only because you’re my friend and I know how much it would hurt you.”
“Yeah, thanks,” Jenner said sadly.
“How’s it going with Poppy?”
“Funny you should ask that because when you called I was driving around trying to find her. She said she was going to yoga with some friends and that they might go shopping, but that was hours ago.”
“You know…”
Jenner interrupted me. “I know that women can shop for hours upon hours, but…” he breathed heavily into the phone.
“But what, Reeves? Are you still driving?” I asked concerned. I hated that he was going through this.
“No, I’m home now.” Even with over eighteen hundred miles between us I could almost feel his sadness. I wanted nothing more than to be able to reach through the phone and hug him.
“Is everything okay?” I asked tentatively.
“No,” he answered with a bitter cry. “I don’t think I can keep lying to myself about what Poppy is doing when she disappears.”
“What do you think she’s doing?” She was either cheating on Reeves or she was doing drugs. Or both.
“I think she’s having an affair.” Jenner all but sobbed out.
“Oh, honey!” My eyes welled with tears. I knew how much he hated to admit it and how much pain he had to be in. “I’m so sorry. Here I’m calling you with my silly problem when you’ve got much more going on. Is there anything I can do for you?”
“Treat me like you’ve always treated me and don’t walk on eggshells around me. I… It’s been a long time coming. Now I just want to figure out who she’s been with.”
“Well, if I’ve learned anything from reading books and watching TV, I’d say you need to hire a private investigator. It would be a lot easier for someone else to follow her and find out. What happens if what you think she’s doing is confirmed?”
“I’m going to divorce her ass that’s what I’m going to do,” Jenner answered angrily.
“Do you have a prenup?” I would really hate it for her to take him to the cleaners when she’s been the one fucking around.
“Is there anyone who gets married in Hollywood anymore without one?”
“Surely there’s a few,” I mumbled. I mean, there were idiots who got married in Vegas who couldn’t possibly have a prenup.
“Shit! I gotta go. She’s home. Let me know how things go with you and Luke. Just give him a few days. Bye.”
Before I could even say my own goodbyes, Jenner had hung up.
Being married to an asshole for over a decade, I was used to being told I messed up a lot. Nothing was ever Decker’s fault. It didn’t matter if there was no one around for miles, it would always somehow be someone else’s fault. Logically, back then I knew the things that I was blamed for weren’t my fault, but after you hear it long enough, it starts to bring you down. That was one of the main reasons for me filing for divorce. I was no longer myself and felt as if I had to walk on eggshells whenever he was around.
This time around, I knew that it was my fault that I hadn’t talked to Luke, and I was more depressed than I would like to admit for having known him a short period of time. Needing a pep talk, I called Taylor, but she couldn’t talk until later in the day. Even though I knew Taylor would call me back when she had some free time, I needed to talk to someone about what I was feeling or else I was going to eat every bit of chocolate that Fairlane had in its stores. My talk with Jenner a couple of days ago had done nothing for my mental well-being.
“Hey,” Anna answered after a couple of rings in her bright, chipper voice.
“Hi.” I replied with zero enthusiasm.
“Uh-oh, what happened? It isn’t Matt is it?” Her worry echoed through the phone line and once again made me glad that Anna had been brought into my life, no matter what I’d gone through for it to happen.
“No, not Matt. I haven’t heard a peep from him and I really hope that I don’t. Who causes a wreck l
ike that and then doesn’t say anything? He didn’t even apologize. Instead he just up and disappeared.”
“From what I know, he hasn’t been talking to any of his friends and only hanging out with… never mind.”
“The Victoria’s Secret model.” I filled in for her.
“Yeah, I didn’t want to say.” Anna exhaled softly into the phone. “I’ve been cheated on and I know how much it sucks and the thoughts that go through your head. No one wants that reminder. If that’s not what’s got you down then what is it, sweetie?”
“It’s Luke.” I was glad that Anna couldn’t see me through the phone because I looked ridiculous with my mouth in a full-on pout while my hair was in a mess on the top of my head, and still wearing my pajamas from last night.
“Already? What happened?”
“My big mouth is what happened.”
“I doubt that. What could you have possibly said?”
“Well, we’ve been getting to know one another, and Luke’s been really busy filming his project. We’ve had a few minutes here and there, but not much. Luke was done early and sent me a text. I was still up, and we started texting until he asked if he could call me because it would be a hell of a lot easier. So, I called him, and it was all going well. He was telling me how he felt left out because no one on the cast or crew talks to him and that’s a first for him.”
“Oh, that’s so sad. I can’t imagine why. How long has he been on the film?”
“At least a month. Probably going on two. I’m not really sure since we barely talk.”
“Wow, that’s a long time for them to not be talking to him.”
“That’s what I thought and from what I know of him, Luke’s so nice and easy to talk to, so I don’t understand. I said that I wished there was something I could do, and he asked me to come visit him. At first, I told him I couldn’t come because, you know, I can’t just pick up and go to New York, but then I asked him how long he was going to be there and told him that I thought I could make it there before he was done filming.” I sighed deeply and closed my eyes. “Then I asked him what time he had to be on set and he said 4:15 a.m. It was getting really late. It was almost 1:00 in the morning so I said that we should probably get off the phone, so he could get some sleep. Luke said he’d rather lose sleep than miss the sound of my voice.”
