by Tiffany Snow
Something seemed to crack open inside my chest as he held me, so tightly did his arm wrap around me to hold me close. If I allowed myself, I could almost believe I was something precious to him. But that path was dangerous; the near certainty of heartbreak loomed.
Blane lifted his head, his eyes now a brilliant green, his lips glistening and as swollen as mine felt. The air was thick with expectation and unsaid things.
“You're more to me than just a diversion,” he said, his voice low and rough. “Do you believe me?”
I couldn’t speak, afraid I’d give voice to all my fears and insecurities if I so much as released a single syllable. Did I believe him? I wanted to – too much so. Maybe that was enough. Hesitantly, I nodded.
Something close to relief flashed across his face, then was gone. His lips pressed against my forehead and my eyes slipped closed. It would be easy, too easy to fall in love with Blane, and I was afraid I’d already passed the point of no return. He gathered me close, resting his chin on top of my head, and I savored how I felt secure and cared for in his arms.
“I have to go,” I finally said, reluctantly pulling away.
“I think it would be a good idea for you to leave town for a while,” Blane said, releasing me.
I jerked my eyes to his in surprise.
“It would be safer,” he continued. “Kade can take you, go somewhere for a week or two, just until the trial is over.”
“But that would leave you here alone,” I protested. “They’ve been threatening you, too, Blane.”
“I’ll be fine,” he said grimly. “It’s you I’m worried about.”
“Then we’ll handle it together. I’m not running away.”
“It may not be your choice,” he said slowly, his jaw hardening.
“You’d force me to leave?” The very thought raised my hackles.
“If it gets any worse, then yes.”
I shook my head, choosing to ignore his comment. I didn’t want to fight. “I’ve got to get to work,” I said, moving out of his arms.
“Remember the party tomorrow night,” Blane reminded me. “Here’s the address. You can meet me there.” He grabbed a slip of paper off his desk and handed it to me.
My heart sank again. “I can’t come,” I confessed. “Romeo changed the schedule and I have to work.”
“Damn it,” Blane said in disgust, shoving a hand through his hair, “why won’t you quit that job?”
That hit my last nerve. “Because I need the money, Blane!” I exploded. “And it’s great and it’s nice that you want to help me, but that won’t do me any good when this is over!”
He froze, anger emanating from him as he stared at me. His face was an unreadable mask, and I wished I could take back the words I’d spoken.
“I’m trying to tell you that I’m not going anywhere,” he bit out, “and you already have me halfway out the door.”
His words stung, the truth in them making me wince, so I lashed out. “Isn’t that how you roll, Blane?” I snapped. “You think I don’t know I’m just the latest in a very long line of women?”
“You’re throwing my past up in my face?” In two strides, he was in front of me, his hand gripping my arm in a painfully tight grasp. I swallowed heavily as he loomed over me, his eyes flashing with fury. “I didn’t know you then, Kathleen. What do you want from me?”
I tried to back up, but couldn’t. My heart pounded in fear, which only made me angrier. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me, cowering was just instinctual. His anger was an intimidating thing.
“Nothing,” I hissed furiously. “I don’t want anything from you.”
The door suddenly flew open. Both Blane and I looked to see Kade standing in the entry.
“Lovers’ spat?” he smirked, but I noticed his eyes were serious as he took in the situation.
“I was just leaving,” I said, more to Blane than Kade. I jerked my arm out of Blane’s grasp. He let me go, his eyes locked on mine. I walked away quickly, casting one last glance back at Blane who stood unmoving in the middle of the office, watching me walk out the door.
Kade said nothing as we walked to his car. Without a word, he tossed me my car keys. I looked questioningly at him.
“I think it’s best if you have your own mode of transportation, just in case.”
I nodded, grateful to get my car back. I drove back to my apartment, Kade following me in his Mercedes.
He didn’t speak until we were halfway up the stairs.
“Trouble in paradise?”
“Like you care,” I muttered. Kade would probably turn a cartwheel if Blane and I broke up.
He took me at my word and didn’t say anything further.
I found a note from Alisha taped to my door and was glad to read that she was at home and waiting for me to bring Bits over. I walked him first before knocking on her door.
“How’s your grandma?” I asked, once I was inside.
It took a minute for her to answer since she was crouched on the floor saying hello to Bits who was currently jumping and licking her face. Eww. I knew where that dog’s tongue had been and I certainly wouldn’t want him licking my face, or any part of me, for that matter.
“She’s fine,” Alisha finally replied, standing and taking the load of doggie toys from me. “I really appreciate you helping me out.”
“No problem. Bits and Tigger got along really well actually.”
“So,” Alisha said, drawing out the syllable, “who’s mister tall, dark and handsome I saw you take into your apartment?”
I blushed and Alisha smiled knowingly.
“Yum,” she said with a grin.
“It’s not like that,” I stammered. “He’s...just a friend.”
Alisha’s grin faded as she looked at me. “You all right, Kathleen?” she asked, concern creasing her brow.
“I-” The words “I’m fine” stuck in my throat. It would be so nice to have someone to talk to. “Blane and I had a fight,” I finally said.
She regarded me seriously. “Are you okay? He didn’t hurt you, did he?”
“Of course not,” I said, shaking my head. “Not that kind of fight. It’s just, I don’t know.” I swiped a hand over my tired eyes.
“What did you fight about?” she asked.
“His ex, I guess,” I shrugged. “He expects me to act like this is going to work out, when we both know it won’t. I’d be kidding myself to believe that.” Wouldn’t I?
“He’s been with a lot of women,” Alisha agreed, “but you never know, Kathleen. It could happen.”
Allowing myself to believe that terrified me. If I let that idea get a foothold, if I believed Blane when he said he wasn’t going anywhere – that would make me vulnerable. And if I was wrong? If Blane was wrong? I couldn’t stand the thought of what that might do to me. I shook my head.
“I’ve got to get ready for work,” I said. “Thanks for listening, Alisha.”
“Listen, Kathleen,” she said, grabbing my hand. “I know it’s hard, you want to try and protect yourself, but give him a chance. You might be surprised.” She gave me a hug that was tighter and longer than usual. It felt good to have a girlfriend.
Twenty minutes later, I’d dressed in my work uniform and ran a brush through my hair.
“Don’t you want to eat first?” Kade asked.
“I’ll grab something at the bar,” I said with a shrug. I suppose I should have been hungry, but I wasn’t. My stomach rolled at even the thought of food. I tried to hold on to my anger, but really I was just mad at myself, not Blane.
“So what’s the story with Kandi?” I asked Kade, proud that my voice was strong and firm.
He glanced at me but I wouldn’t meet his eyes, finding my boots and making a great show of putting them on.
“Her dad and Blane’s dad were buddies,” he answered. “Two strong political families, wealthy, connected. They raised Blane and Kandi side by side. She’s a few years younger, but they always planned for them to get married. They�
��ve been on again and off again for years.” I looked up to see him staring at me, assessing. “But then I guess he met you.”
“Blane and Kandi broke up before he met me,” I denied, somehow not surprised by the history between the two. “I had nothing to do with it.”
He didn’t reply, his eyes gazing into mine before I looked uncomfortably away.
“She’s quite intent on getting him back,” I said with forced lightness. I remembered with a sinking feeling how beautiful and sophisticated she’d looked at the fund raiser and in Blane’s office. I couldn’t compete with that, especially given her shared history with Blane.
“Kandi usually gets what she wants, yes,” Kade confirmed. “Whether or not that’s Blane remains to be seen.” His voice clued me in on something.
“You don’t like her,” I said, studying him.
“She’s a selfish, narcissistic bitch,” he replied. “What’s not to like?”
I laughed in spite of myself.
When we got to the bar, Kade pulled over to the curb, but made no move to park in the spot next to me. I got out and went to his window, which he’d rolled down so he could speak to me.
“I need to check something out,” he said. “I’ll be back later. You good from here?”
“I’ll be fine,” I said. “Where are you going?”
“Thought I’d check on those phone records and swing by where Bowers was staying.”
“Be careful,” I told him.
His only response was a smirk. I rolled my eyes and watched Kade drive away, the taillights fading in the distance. I was nearly to the bar door when I reconsidered, going back to my car and getting Blane’s gun from the glove box. I shoved it into my purse and headed inside.
I was not greeted with good news.
“We have to wear what?!” I eyed the red velvet Tish was holding. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“I wish I was,” Tish said with a snort. “Romeo left them for us. Said we’re supposed to wear them until Christmas is over.”
The outfit I contemplated was a little red velvet mini-dress with white fur trim around the hem and neckline. Except there wasn’t really much of a neckline. It was strapless and sleeveless. Not only was I going to look like a tramp in it, I was also going to freeze my ass off. Tish was already wearing hers – of course it looked good on her. Unfortunately, my chest and ass were larger than hers.
I wanted to say a very foul word. With a shared look of long-suffering with Tish, I took the outfit and stomped to the bathroom to change. Tish helpfully gave me an extra pair of her nylons to wear – they would at least help keep me warm.
Tish had to help me zip the darn thing – I couldn’t reach it. I then studied my reflection in the mirror. Good lord, I looked like I was going to fall out of the top of the dress. I tried unsuccessfully to tug it higher on my chest. There was no way I was going to wear this all the way until Christmas. Romeo could just stuff it.
Now in an even fouler mood than before, I tied on my waist apron and headed out into the bar. It helped to see the other girls were dressed as I was, though I determined that I wouldn’t be shaking any martinis tonight – they’d just have to make do with stirred. Any shaking and I’d be giving more of a show than I already was.
We weren’t terribly busy, just steady, and I suppose you could say the outfits helped with holiday cheer – for the male patrons anyway. I caught more than a few wives and girlfriends scowling at me. I wanted to tell them that it certainly hadn’t been my idea to dress this way. The only thing keeping me from freezing was working and staying on the move.
I saw someone new sit down at the bar and turned to take their order. To my surprise, I knew him.
“Ryan,” I said, recognizing him from my visit yesterday. “What are you doing here?”
He looked as surprised as I felt.
“I could ask you the same,” he said. “I thought you worked for the law firm.”
“I work two jobs,” I said. “A girl’s gotta pay the rent, you know?” I smiled at him. He was wearing a button-down charcoal gray shirt and looking even better than I remembered, his chocolate eyes smiling back at me.
“Yeah, I know,” he replied.
“What can I get you?”
He ordered a beer and I grabbed a bottle, pouring it into a frosted glass which I sat in front of him.
“That’s some outfit,” he said with a nod to my attire. He took a swallow of his beer.
“Yeah, not what I’d wear in subzero weather, if given the choice,” I said wryly. “The owner has a different point of view.” I pointed out the other waitresses in our identical red velvet.
“Well, I’m not going to argue with the owner,” Ryan said with an appreciative grin.
“What are you doing downtown?” I asked, changing the subject.
“Had some business down here,” he replied. “Thought I’d stop in for a drink before heading home. I would’ve come here sooner if I’d known a girl like you worked here.”
I smiled at the compliment.
It had slowed down so I chatted with Ryan for a while. He was a funny guy and had me laughing at some of the stories he told. It felt good to just relax and enjoy his company. The stress I’d been feeling with Blane and Kade had taken more of a toll than I had realized. I was surprised when I glanced at the clock and saw it was near to closing time.
“I’d better start clearing up,” I said, “but thanks for keeping me company.”
“Anytime, beautiful,” he said, finishing his beer. “I’m hoping to change your mind about that dinner.”
My smile grew forced as I was abruptly reminded about my fight with Blane.
“Still involved?” Ryan asked, referring to my earlier reason for not going out with him.
“I’m...not sure,” I said honestly. After my outburst with Blane, I had no idea what the status of our relationship was. We’d both been so angry.
“That sounds promising,” Ryan said. “Not to wish ill will on your significant other, but his loss is my gain. Are you working tomorrow night?”
“I am.”
“Then I’ll see you then,” Ryan said with a wink. He tossed some money on the bar to cover his tab plus a tip and left.
I was a little behind so I hurried to finish my work in time for closing. The bar was deserted now and I wondered if Kade was going to be back in time to follow me home. A hint of worry niggled at me, but I tried not to focus on it.
Tish came up to me after she’d locked the front door. She’d put on her coat and had her purse in hand.
“I’m going to head out,” she said. Linda, the other waitress tonight, had already left at ten. “You good to finish up?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I replied. “I just need to stock.” I hoped Kade would be back soon. I wondered if I’d have to call Blane if Kade didn’t show up.
Tish left and I made several trips to the storeroom to retrieve supplies for the bar. The place was still and quiet, as were the streets outside. This late on a weekday night, everyone was bundled up warm at home. I’d turned off nearly all the lights except the small lamps that hung directly over the bar. The amber glow from the streetlights filtered in through the blinds on the windows.
A noise made me go still. I listened intently, the hair on the back of my neck standing up. I heard it again – coming from outside.
I ran to my purse stashed under the bar, yanked it open and pulled out the gun. I made sure it was loaded and knocked off the safety. The feel of the cold steel in my hands comforted me and I took a deep, steadying breath.
Going to the front door, I peeked outside. It took me a minute to make sense of what I was seeing. Four guys were in a scuffle across the narrow street. I looked closer. Wait, it looked like three guys were ganging up on one who was putting up a hell of a fight.
When they stepped into the light, my jaw fell open in shock. It was Kade. And those guys – they were from the other night when that one had hassled me and Kade had stepped in. It looked
like they were taking the opportunity for a little payback.
Anger flashed through me and I jerked open the door, heedless of the cold and snow. Bracing my feet and grasping the gun with both hands, I fired a shot up in the air.
That got their attention.
“Let him go, assholes,” I called out, aiming my gun at the biggest of them. Bob was his name, if I remembered correctly.
“Well, look who’s come to join us,” he sneered. “If it isn’t Miss High and Mighty herself. How you doing, bitch?”
“I said, let him go,” I repeated. Two of his cronies each had Kade by an arm and I couldn’t tell if Kade was standing under his own power or if they were holding him up. Worry and panic flooded through at me.
“How about we trade him for you,” Bob said with a leer. He turned and before I could do or say anything, he punched Kade in the face. Kade sagged even lower in their grip.
Rage erupted inside me, white hot and dangerous. I welcomed it, the fury focusing my senses. Taking careful aim, I squeezed the trigger, smiling in satisfaction as Bob yelped.
“You fucking bitch!” he screamed. “You nearly shot my dick off!”
“You’ve got until three to let him go and get out of here,” I called out. “One...”
The two guys holding Kade dropped him, turned and ran.
“Two...”
Bob cursed, aimed a last vicious kick at Kade, then took off after his friends. I ran across the street, my fury evaporating into worry as I took in Kade’s crumpled form on the ground. Flicking the safety back on, I set the gun down and fell to my knees next to him. The cold, wet concrete bit into my nylon-clad knees, tearing the fragile fabric.
“Kade, are you all right?” I asked, grasping his shoulder and wondering if I should try to turn him over or just call 911. He groaned in response and panic fluttered in my chest. What should I do? I looked anxiously back at the bar, which seemed very far away. Should I leave him here and go call for help? I wavered in indecision, not wanting to leave Kade alone.
“I’ve had better nights, princess,” Kade groaned, pushing himself painfully into a sitting position. Tears of relief stung my eyes and I quickly blinked them back. My hands fluttered uselessly, unsure how best to help him.
