by M. E. Gordon
One moment he was standing there, watching me. The next he disappeared into the darkness of the hallway behind him. Backing up toward the bar, I gained the attention of the bartender.
“What can I get you Miss. Monroe?” he asked, leaning over.
“How do you get up there?” I said, pointing at the second level.
“Go through those doors,” he said, pointing, “The stairs are on the right. Just let the bouncer know who you are and he’ll let you up.”
I smiled my thanks before making my way to the door.
Opening it, I was greeted by the bouncer. “Good evening, Miss. Monroe, you enjoying yourself?” he asked, as if we were friends.
“So far so good,” I said.
It dawned on me that this was the same man who once prevented me from entering the VIP section in Mood. I inwardly cringed at the way I’d acted when he wouldn’t let me in. Clearly, he knew who I was now, as he stepped aside and let me walk up the stairs.
Taking hold of the railing, I felt the vibrations of my phone from within my bag. Ignoring it, I continued my way up the stairs. Spencer was up there, and I was determined to end this for good.
Chapter 31
There were three doors, two were closed and one was cracked open. Taking my chances, I stepped toward the middle door that was open. A faint light made the doorframe seem aglow. Pushing it open with a shaking hand, I stepped inside.
A large desk sat opposite the door. Two large leather high-backed chairs faced it. A sense of déjà vu washed across my mind.
“Spencer?”
I didn’t know if I had vocalized it or simply thought I had. The chair at the desk turned revealing him sitting there, attentively watching me as I moved closer.
“You wore it,” he said, leaning toward the desk, his elbows resting upon it. His hands folded over one another as he brought his mouth to his knuckles.
Okay, this is freaky. Straightening, I held my ground unwaveringly.
“It’s stunning on you.”
I knew he was going to say that. This was more than déjà vu, it was Groundhog’s Day. Taking another step, I looked down at the stunning dress.
“Yes. Yes, it is Thank you,” I said, not breaking a smile.
This was where the déjà vu stopped and reality took over. He didn’t stand, or take me in his arms. He sat there unmoving, his eyes never leaving mine. “It was the least I could do,” he said, still staring at me.
“Since you ruined my last one, I’d say that’s about right.”
Finally standing from his desk, he walked around to the front of it. His hands by his sides, he took another step closer to me.
“Stop,” I said, taking a step back to keep him at arm’s length. “Just stay there.”
The closer he got to me the more I forgot the real reason why I was there.
“I just need to know something,” he said, leaning back against the desk.
“What could you possibly need to know? You’re Spencer Salvatore Don’t you know everything?” I snapped.
Placing his hands back in his pockets, he hung his head, before looking up at me with a wicked grin on his face. The kind of grin that could make a woman drop her panties. But not me! I’m not falling for it, not tonight.
“I do make it a priority to know everything, but there’s one thing that I can never figure out, and that’s you. Are you happy with him?” he asked, standing upright from the desk. His large muscular frame stood over me as I stared up into his blue eyes.
“Yes.” I threw the word maliciously in his face. His scent drifted under my nose at that exact moment. My body wanted me to give in, but I wasn’t going to let it. “He won, and you lost. You walked away, he stayed. I asked you for one day and you wouldn’t even give me that. I would have chosen you, but you let your stupid pride get in the way, and you lost.” I poked my finger at his chest. The force behind it bent my finger back, but he just stood there like a statue taking in all I had said.
“You’re lying to yourself, if you actually believe that. He didn’t win, he was just conveniently there. If you were happy, you wouldn’t be here right now. You wouldn’t have gone out of your way to come find me. This isn’t remotely close to being over,” he said smugly.
Damn him and his confidence. I was there to end it all with him, bury him in my past. Fuck me, he’s a jerk.
“I only came up here to tell you to leave me the hell alone. Stop sending me notes, stop leaving me presents, just leave me alone.”
Narrowing my eyes up at him, I saw his anger was starting to take over. His jaw clenched, his hands fisted noticeably by his side. He shook his head, which only made me angrier.
“No, not a chance, Monroe.”
“You don’t have a choice, Spencer. I’m done. I’m finished with you, and it’s over.”
Turning on my heel, I went to take a step.
His tight grip held my arm as he spun me back around. “I should have run after you. You’re right. I let my pride take over.”
“Well, it’s too late now.” I tried to move my hand from his grasp. My efforts were useless.
“I can’t stop,” he confessed. “I see you everywhere. I close my eyes and your face is all I see. When I sleep, you’re all I dream about. I hear your stubborn-ass voice in my head. I can’t stop it.”
Letting me go, he raked his hands through his hair.
Hearing him confess everything, I understood. I got it. “Spencer.” Letting my guard down for a brief moment, I relaxed. “I get it. I know exactly how you feel but--”Shouldn’t have let that guard down so easily.
“How the hell do you know how it feels? You’re happy,” he roared.
“I know because all I see is your fucking, perfect face! I know because I dream about you every fucking night! I get it. So don’t stand here and preach to me about how miserable you are. I hate myself for thinking about you when I’m with him. But you’re always there. Are you happy? You were right all along, I’m with him and I’m constantly thinking about you!”
On the verge of tears, I covered my face with my hands. Damn him for doing this. I wanted to run away, run into Simon’s arms, and forget all of this, but my feet were firmly planted beneath me.
“What are we doing, Spencer? We can’t keep going around on this crazy carousel.”
He stood there not saying a word.
“Spencer! Answer me!” I yelled at him, my arms outstretched.
Forcefully he stepped closer. Holding my ground inches from his body, I could feel the tension that radiated between us. He wasn’t touching me, but he was all over me.
“What do you want me to say?” Face to face with me, he leaned closer. His hot breath danced on my neck as he spoke. “I’ll do whatever you want.”
His words were breathy and desperate. Men like Spencer didn’t submit, yet here he was doing just that. I took deep breaths, my chest rising and falling heavily. I watched as his hand hovered near my cheek. He held back, making a fist, then quickly releasing it. Wetting his lips he stared at mine. The seductive way he did it made my body weak with want. I looked into his eyes and felt a tear roll down my face, landing on the bare skin of my chest.
“Don’t let me leave,” I said, weakly giving into my body, my heart. I couldn’t have stopped the words from coming out it if I wanted to.
His hand gripped the back of my neck. Our lips crashed onto one another’s. Sparks were everywhere. My body throbbed like it never had before. Holding me tightly, he turned me, pushing me against the edge of the desk. His other hand held my face as the desire we had both been holding back finally spilled over.
I gripped the edge of the desk, afraid that if I let it go, it would all end and I’d wake up. I had given into my desires and it felt amazing. His lips left mine, but I selfishly reached out to find them again. Gazing up at him, I noted the serious expression on his face.
“I will not let you go again,” he said, running his thumb over my bottom lip.
The intensity in his voice was everything I needed
to hear. I believed him. I believed that he would never leave me again.
I managed to nod up at him before he kissed me again. His strong hand ran down the front of my neck and over my collar bone. Reveling in his touch, I realized just how much I missed his dominate ways. Grasping the strap of the dress, he tried to pull it down and off my arm, but settled for letting it go and caressing my arm, instead. Grabbing my waist, he backed up, bringing me with him. Sitting in one of the high-backed chairs, he tugged me between his legs. I stood there, watching him watch me. His fingers grazed my leg. I marveled at the way he touched me, the way he could make the simple act of running his fingers along the hem of my dress the sexiest thing I had ever seen.
He gripped the bottom of the dress, tugging it up to reveal more of my leg. The hem of the dress rested at the under-curve of my ass and both of his hands wrapped around the back of my thighs. He tugged me down. I straddled his lap and held on tightly to the back of his neck for balance. My fingers went up the back of his head, getting lost in his dark hair.
I pulled him roughly toward my neck, needing him to devour me. His nose ran across my skin. I arched toward him. He left a trail of soft kisses down my neck and over the top of my cleavage. The tight fabric added to the ecstasy of it all. My nipples tingled beneath it, begging for him to release them and use his mouth more thoroughly.
Feeling the necklace around my throat move, I sat back and watched him take it between his fingers.
“I’m going to pretend that S is for me,” he said, tugging on it lightly.
The thin chain dug blissfully into the back of my neck as I nodded in agreement. I wasn’t going to fight it. That S had stood for him all along, whether Simon had given it to me or not.
Releasing the S of the necklace, his hand came up to cup my face tenderly. I held it with my own. Pulling it away from my face, I left a kiss in the palm of his hand before I stood. Blue eyes never left mine.
Sitting back in the chair, he wet his lips then rested his elbows on the armrests of the chair as he intertwined his fingers. I took a second to get my thoughts straight. If we were going to do this, there were a few things that I needed to get off my chest.
Exhaling and moving the hem of my dress down slightly, I began. “I don’t care what happens anymore or what people say. I’m done fighting this--fighting you. I’ll give you all of me, but don’t break me,” I said sternly, pointing a finger at him. “I won’t survive it again.” I needed him to know that. I needed him to know that one more heartbreak from him would destroy me beyond repair.
Standing there a second, I waited for a response. He stood and reached for my hand. I placed it fully in his. Toe to toe, we searched each other’s faces before he spoke.
“I won’t survive either,” he said, caressing my face. “I need you, right here with me. I’m not letting go. Ever.”
He rested his forehead on mine. I reached up to kiss his full lips. My heart had never healed from him. He broke it and it hurt more than I cared to admit, but I’d do it all again to be in his arms just as I was now. Maybe it refused to heal because it knew where it truly belonged, which was in his hands, mended, and open only to him.
“Get your fucking hands off her!”
Chapter 32
Simon’s lion-like growl bounced off the walls. My head was telling me to back up and explain to him what was going on, but my body wasn’t listening to my head at that exact moment. I took a chance and glanced up at Simon. When I looked back at Spencer, his eyes had gone from a cool blue to straight fire.
“I said get you motherfucking hands off her, you son of a bitch,”
Caressing my face, Spencer turned to face the intruder. Seeing Simon in the room with us brought reality crashing down around me. I had never seen Simon mad. It was a little frightening. His usual calm, carefree demeanor was gone. What stood before me was not the man I had thought I was in love with.
Even though I wasn’t sure if I was in love with Simon, I still cared about him. Seeing him like this was horrible. I was horrible. I had done this to us all. Taking a step in his direction I attempted to explain. “Simon--I--let me--”
“Save it, Elizabeth.” His words were laced with rage.
“Don’t talk to her like that,” Spencer said, moving next to me.
“Hell, no, you don’t get to talk. I watched you hurt her time and time again. I watched you pull her into your mess of a life then spit her out one too many times. I’m not going to sit back and let you drag her into your twisted web of lies again. You don’t deserve her,” he said, pointing at Spencer.
What the hell is Simon talking about? I’ve never been in the same room with both of them. I never told him--
“Simon, what the fuck is going on?” I asked, needing answers fast.
Simon froze. His face fell as if realizing that he had said too much.
“Oh come on, Sullivan, don’t play the poor pathetic boy next door now,” Spencer said with a cocky grin.
I turned to Spencer and glared. “One of you better start talking now, or I’m going to lose it,” I said, crossing my arms in frustration.
I looked between the two of them before Simon spoke up. “Elizabeth, I’ve been trying to tell you for a long time,” he said then paused.
“Tell me what?” Feeling Spencer’s body next to mine, I turned back to him.
“Oh, please let me tell her,” Spencer said. “You see, Elizabeth, Simon isn’t who he says he is.”
My heart pounded even harder within my chest as I continued watching both men. Spencer was arrogant and determined to make Simon squirm under his thumb. Simon, on the other hand, seemed defeated and overwhelmed.
Smiling across at him, Spencer gloated. Standing behind me, he leaned next to my head and spoke. “Those pictures of you--of us, they were taken by him, every last one of them.”
I took a step away from Spencer. I needed space, and I needed air. “Is this some sort of sick game between the two of you? Are you trying to pull me until I snap?”
“It’s a fake, he’s a fake. It was all a lie. He’s been using you this whole time. That’s what I’ve been doing these past weeks. I had to find out the truth, and I was right. He’s working for Fame! Hell, he probably owns Fame! Think about it, Elizabeth, he was always calling you when we were together. He knew where you were the whole time because he was there, too. He never left to go overseas. It was a cover story. He’s nothing but scum beneath your feet.”
I stared at Simon during Spencer’s entire speech. With each word, I was convinced that Spencer was telling the truth. It was written all over Simon’s face.
“I do love you. It was easier to lie than tell the truth. I didn’t want to hurt you,” Simon said, stepping toward me.
“Was any of it real?” I asked, sitting down in one of the chairs.
“Yes, it was all real. It might have started out as something else, but I fell in love with you, I’m still in love with you. It killed me to watch him hurt you. I wanted to tell you so many times, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want you to look at me the way you’re looking at me now,” he said, coming to kneel before me and taking my hands in his. “Please, I didn’t have a choice.”
It felt like a stranger had touched me. I sat back, jerking my hands from his. I didn’t know the man who was pleading with me. Simon wasn’t who I thought he was. Is his name even Simon?
“I think you should leave.” My words were cold as ice, freezing even my lips as they left them.
“Please, let’s talk about it,” he begged as he rose from the floor.
“Get out, Simon. I can’t even look at you right now. You brought the media into my life, into my family’s lives. You knew how much I hated it, yet you were able to lie to my face and send in pictures that you knew would destroy me. You’re a beast, an ugly beast.”
“If that’s what you want, then I’ll go, but I’m not giving up on you. I do love you. That’s the truth. If there’s one thing I want you to believe, it’s that I love you. I made a mi
stake, but you, of all people, should be able to forgive me.” I watched as he went toe to toe with Spencer. “I hope you’re happy,” Simon snapped at him.
They stood there, eyeing the other up. This was definitely not the way my fantasy of these two men in the same room had played out in my mind. In fact, it was the complete opposite. They were too busy intimidating each other to even notice that I had stood up.
“Don’t get too comfortable, Salvatore. I’m not going anywhere and there are some pretty nasty people out to get you. I’d watch your back. I’ll give you what you ask for, Beth. I’ll step down, back off, but don’t be surprised when he breaks your heart again. I’ll be there to pick the pieces up. I’ll be there to help mend your broken heart, and you can count on that.” Taking a step back, Simon glanced my way one last time before leaving.
We watched as he left the room slamming the door behind him. Instantly, I turned on Spencer. “How long have you known?” I asked, keeping my distance.
“Thursday morning. I tried to call you the moment I had figured it out but you didn’t answer,” he said, tilting his head.
“Who else knows?” I asked, pacing the room.
“No one. I wanted to tell you first.”
I can’t believe this is really my life. If you would have told me five months ago that I’d be standing here dealing with this, I’d have laughed in your face. Sitting down again, I looked up at Spencer. The emotions that I had been holding in finally took over and a tsunami of tears ran freely down my face. The only man that I had ever said “I love you” to had betrayed me, used me. I should feel relieved, happy that I didn’t have the burden of choosing one man over the other. So why does it feel so dirty, so wrong?
Kneeling, Spencer rubbed my back consolingly while I took it all in. Wiping my eyes, I began to reel in my emotions.
“I want you to know that I’d never lie to you. I’ll always tell you the truth,” he said, helping me wipe my tears away. He leaned closer and kissed me softly on the cheek. “Do you want me to get your brothers?”
