“Man…if you do go to L.A., and I don’t get to come with, I think I might die,” Ana says, looking star-struck at the very thought of stepping foot in Los Angeles.
“I’d love to take you, but I don’t think your parents would ever agree to that. I mean, they won’t even let you watch music videos.” She has to stick to “clean” music videos. Her parents won’t let her watch anything that’s even slightly raunchy. Cass wears some pretty risqué outfits in some of their videos, and there are some suggestive lyrics in a lot of their songs, so Ana’s parents probably never allowed her near W3.
“I think we should at least ask,” Ana says. “If we don’t even try, I’ll probably regret it forever.”
“Well, let me work on Dad, and I’ll let you know what happens. Don’t tell anyone about any of this until I give you the green light.”
Ana’s eyes widen. “Not even my parents?”
“No one. You have to swear you won’t tell.”
“Okay…I swear,” Ana says, nodding and looking a little freaked out.
After a while, Ana turns on her small flat-screen TV and we sit side by side, pressed up against pillows on the wall. She goes to Netflix and looks up Never Really Alone starring Jacie Redinger. Ana and I are crazy about horror movies, and this one is our favorite of all time. It’s a little old but still good. We watch it together one night every six months, religiously, or when I need something to remind me that life could always get worse. I link arms with Ana because she can be a little squeamish at the scary parts and she always wants to hold on to me. No matter how many times we watch this movie, it still has the power to make chills run up our spines. It’s just that good, mostly because of JR. She’s such a talented actress.
Two hours later, I feel a little less glum, and Ana and I pull out nail polish and start talking about the things we could do in L.A. as we give each other manis and pedis. I tolerate nail painting as long as I can use the color black…maybe occasionally purple. Any other color is too bright and cheery for my taste.
Around one in the morning, we finally lay down side by side and pretend to be asleep when Mrs. Lincourt pokes her head in to check on us. Ana eventually drifts off, but I stay wide awake. Sleep has been evading me ever since I found out who Dad was…who I am. I’m consumed by thoughts of my mother and the life I could have had. If only I had a fairy godmother who could magically transport me to L.A.
I guess Cass will have to do.
Dad comes alone in his truck to pick me up the next morning. He tosses my things into the backseat, and as he’s driving away, I ask, “So how was last night?”
“It was great, although there’s a lot I don’t remember,” Dad groans. He does look a little ragged. My guess is they partied hard last night.
“What about you? Did you have fun with Ana?”
“Yeah, we had a great time.” I fall silent, trying to think of something else to add so it won’t seem suspicious. I can’t let him even suspect that I told Ana, or he’ll freak out. “We had a movie night and fell asleep around one a.m.”
“Sounds fun.” Dad sighs, rubbing his forehead briefly before gripping the wheel with both hands. “Sorry, honey, I’ve got a bit of a hangover. I think maybe we should avoid talkin’ for the rest of the trip.”
“That’s fine,” I say, cheering on the inside.
The rest of the ride home is dead silent, and all the way I’m wondering what happened with him and Cass. If he had been discovered last night, he’d probably be a total mess today, not grouchy and quiet from a hangover. It doesn’t seem like much progress was made, which is kind of disappointing, but I didn’t expect this to happen instantly.
When we get inside the house, Cass is waiting for us in the living room on our faded blue couch, watching TV on our boxy old CRT. “Hey, did you have fun?” she asks.
“Yeah, it was great.” I sit down beside her, and Dad sinks into his tan easy chair, pulls the lever that makes his footrest pop up, and lies back to take a nap. After about five minutes, his snoring starts, and I lean over to Cass and whisper, “Okay, so what happened? Did he sing karaoke?”
“He did, but he was so drunk that he didn’t sing well, and nobody thought anything of it. Sorry, sweetie, I think I waited a little too long to get him up on the stage. It was a tough balance to achieve between ‘drunk enough to sing’ and ‘too drunk to know what he was doing.’”
I’m half-relieved, half-disappointed. I wanted this to work, but at least the inevitable explosion when our identities are revealed has been pushed off a little. “Well, at least you tried. We’ll just have to come up with something else.” I start to turn away, but then I notice the secretive smile that’s growing on her face. “What are you smiling at?”
“Oh…you don’t want to know,” she says, and my curiosity is even more piqued.
“Yes, I do. Tell me.”
“Well…we weren’t discovered last night, but something did happen,” she says with a sheepish grin, glancing over at Dad.
I look between the two of them, trying to make sense of the guilty-yet-deliriously-happy look on her face. I finally connect the dots. “What? Ew! You and him?”
“Yeah…” If Cass didn’t have a spray tan, she’d be turning a deep shade of red.
“Ew!” I scoot down the couch until I’m as far away as I can get. “Wait…he said he didn’t remember a lot of last night. You basically raped my dad!”
Cass smirks. “Trust me, he remembered that part. It happened again this morning.”
“Ugh…” I shudder, shaking my hands like I’m trying to get the dirt off them. “Thanks for ruining my appetite for the next year.”
Cass laughs her ass off. “Sorry, but you did ask.”
I continue to shudder, disgusted by the fact that I just facilitated my own father’s drunken one-night stand. Well, actually, I don’t know that for a fact. Thinking back, I remember a lot of times when I wondered why they weren’t together. Their best friend banter has always carried more of a “couple” vibe than a platonic one.
“Was this a one-night stand or is there something between you two?”
“We used to have an FWB thing way back when,” she says, and I start feeling sick to my stomach. “I always hoped it would turn into something more, but we both enjoyed the loose ‘rock star lifestyle’ too much to have a real relationship. It was kind of like an open relationship, but now…honestly, I’m hoping for something more. I’ve always felt like he was my soulmate, on stage and off.”
My heart melts a little, and my sickness starts to subside. “Well…as long as you want him for more than just sex.” I gag at the words that just came out of my mouth. Ew, ew, ew. I’m going to need a shower after hearing that.
I lean back on the couch to pay attention to the TV, trying to get my mind off the mentally scarring confession I just heard. Cass has it tuned to E! News, which is ironic, considering what I’ve been through over the past week. As I’m watching an interview with a star, I wonder what my mother did that made her a celebrity. Is she an actress? Musician? Dancer? Designer? I’m sure there are more possibilities, but those are the main occupations I’ve heard of that people become famous for in L.A.
Now that I know who I am, I’m going to soak up all the information I can get about celebrities, socializing, and what to do in L.A. I’m not going to be out of the loop when I get there…or at least, I’m going to try not to be.
April 28
Mission AYMM
I’ve developed a name for my Mother Dearest mission. I’m calling it AYMM, like Are You My Mother?, the Dr. Seuss book I used to read as a kid and relate to a little too much. I’m going to record clues I pick up along the way and try to put the pieces together on my own, whether or not we make it to L.A.
Clue 1: She used to live in L.A.
Clue 2: She’s a celebrity.
Clue 3: She possibly has a bad reputation.
I am going to eat, drink, and breathe celebrity news for the next few weeks, focusing on the age g
roup my mother would logically fit into. Then I’m going to study people that match the above description to see if any of them match up. I’ve already been Google searching “Basket Baby’s mother,” but so far nothing has come up…which I was expecting. If gossip websites couldn’t connect the dots, this has got to be hard, so I’m going to have to work at it.
Here goes nothing…time to put my detective skills to the test.
Ttyl,
Mads
May 8
Catching Up
It’s been a while since I wrote in here because I’ve been crazy busy with finals. The good news is I finished this school year early with flying colors. I even passed Geometry, and I swear there was no better feeling in the world than throwing that book into a bonfire. All my homework was done in a notebook, so we still have our records, and Nana decided to let me have some fun for once. Usually, I would treat a book with the utmost of respect, being an English lover, but Geometry can kiss my ass. I loved watching the pages shrivel up and crumble into ashes. I think I even caught a grin on Nana’s face when we burned it. It was the bane of both our existences for way too long. I did Algebra 2 last year, so I guess next up is Trigonometry. Not looking forward to that, but at least it’s the last math I’ll ever take.
The bad news is I haven’t seen much progress with my missions so far. I’ve been buttering Dad up like crazy and playing music with him and Cass whenever I can, but I think he’s onto me. He hasn’t said anything else about wanting to go back to music. He also gets a “yeah, right” look in his eye whenever I tell him what a great dad he is. He knows I’m still a bit pissed at him underneath all this flattery, and I haven’t really forgiven him yet.
Maybe I should dial down the compliments and not be so obvious with them.
I’m also getting nowhere with AYMM. Cass told me this was going to be easier than I thought, but I’m calling BS. There are a few celebs that kind of fit the description, but they’re not the right age. Most of the ones my mother’s age are settled down and their days of bad behavior are mostly behind them. I guess she really is a snake in the grass. She’s one of these people that appears to have their life together, but you don’t know what’s going on in the background.
Cass and I are still working on ways to accidentally out ourselves to the world. She’s taken Dad out a couple more times, but so far nothing’s gone wrong and a lot has gone right. It still makes me want to blow chunks thinking about Dad having a love life, but I guess this is a long time in coming. I’m happy for them, but…ew. I just wish I didn’t have to witness the hungry eyes at the dinner table. It kills my appetite.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot, I got another bit of good news. One week from today, I’m getting my braces off. That’s the best news I’ve heard in four years.
Ttyl,
Mads
One week later, I bounce up and down in the truck as Dad drives all four of us into town. “No more metal mouth! No more metal mouth!” I chant incessantly over “Let’s Get Rocked” by Def Leppard. We can listen to whatever we want in the car now that I know about W3, and I’m finding there are some older bands I really like. Def Leppard is one of my favorites.
After about five minutes of my chanting, Nana scolds me from the passenger seat. “Girl, I’m gonna tear that metal right outta your mouth if ya don’t shut it.”
“Besides, I thought you liked metal,” Dad teases.
“Music, yes. Binding, blistering, banded steel digging into the inside of my mouth is another story.”
“Nice alliteration.” Cass shoots me a grin. She’s using a pocket mirror to apply dark red lipstick, as if her teeth needed to stand out even more. Was this woman ever a hardcore rocker? It’s really hard to believe just looking at her. She looks more like an actress, or maybe a blonde country singer.
“Are you an English nerd too?” I ask.
“Yeah, it was always my best subject…that is, until I dropped out of high school.”
“You were a dropout?” I couldn’t be more shocked. Cass has the aura of a person with a master’s degree.
“Yeah…I would say I wish I hadn’t done it, but if I hadn’t, I probably wouldn’t have met your father.” Dad looks at her through the rearview mirror, and they exchange a smile that’s reserved for each other. There are definite romantic undertones to that smile. Gag. Sweet, but…gag.
“Let me ask you a question,” I say, trying to change the subject.
Cass puts away her pocket mirror and lipstick once she’s satisfied with herself. “Go ahead.”
“Did you happen to despise Geometry the way I did?”
A knowing grin appears on her face. “That’s actually one of the reasons I dropped out. I failed, and they tried to make me take it again the next year, and I said, ‘Oh hell no!’”
I explode with laughter. “You really are a kindred spirit!”
“Just please promise me you won’t ever drop out of high school,” Cass says. “That was a stupid decision if I ever made one, in spite of the result.”
I bite back a smirk. If only she knew how many times I’ve considered that. Hopefully it won’t be necessary if my missions work out, and I might even get a chance to go to a real school. “I can’t drop out. Nana would hunt me down and slit my throat.”
“Darn right I would,” Nana says. “I didn’t quit teachin’ after thirty years to educate a high school dropout.”
We arrive at the dentist’s office, and after waiting about ten minutes in the dusty waiting room that smells like chemicals, they take me back to a room. I sit down in the funny gray dentist chair, and my lips will not close. I’m so excited that I can’t stop smiling for anything.
My orthodontist, a small woman with red plastic glasses and blonde hair wrapped into a bun at the top of her head, enters the room with her mask down around her neck. “Hey, Mads!”
“Hi, Ursula!” I say. We know each other so well now that I’m on a first-name basis with her.
“You ready to get those suckers off?”
“Yes, yes, yes, do it now!” I beg, bouncing up and down as much as I can without knocking all the tools out of the tray.
Ursula turns to the other three people in the room. “My, we have an entourage here today, don’t we?” Dad and Cass laugh, and Nana grunts. “I appreciate the show of support, but I think we only have room for two people in here.” Ursula’s right…this room is small, and pretty cramped. “If the three of you don’t mind, I’m going to have to ask that you wait in the waiting room until I send her out to see you.”
“Sounds good,” Dad says, and he takes two steps to lean down and brush a soft kiss against my forehead. “Good luck, baby girl,” he says with a grin.
“Thanks, Daddy,” I squeal.
Two hours later, I’m finally free from the foreign contraption that has been giving me hell for years. Ursula hands me a mirror, and I’m not at all prepared for the sight that meets me.
“Holy hell…” I smile in the mirror like I’ve never seen my own teeth before. In a way, it feels like I haven’t. They were pretty effed up when I first got my braces.
With my glasses off and the mirror held in close range, I can see my own unobstructed face for the first time in a while…not clearly, because my vision sucks, but I can see well enough to know I look a million times better without braces. My smile is gorgeous, and it will be even more so if I do some at-home teeth whitening. My plump, pink lips spread out over my lower teeth and upper gums just like they should. Somehow, this new smile even makes my crystal-blue eyes seem lighter and disguises my long nose a bit. It doesn’t do anything for my slightly crooked jaw, but nothing will after the way I banged it up. Nothing except plastic surgery, which I’m pretty nervous about.
After receiving my clear retainer and some last minute instructions from Ursula, I head out to the waiting room with pursed lips, not wanting to spoil the surprise. When I meet the others, I wait until all eyes are on me.
“Wait, wait, I wanna get my camera.” Dad pulls his
iPhone out of his back pocket. He never uses his phone camera, so Cass has to help him with it. It takes a hot minute for them to figure it out.
“Come on, guys,” I mutter behind my hand, and finally, they get the phone ready and Dad starts recording.
“Go,” he says. I drop my hand and grace them with the biggest smile I’ve ever smiled in my life. “Ho, my God!”
“Sweetie, you look beautiful,” Cass says, and even though I have trouble believing that, it’s a huge compliment coming from her. Dad and Cass continue to gush over me, but Nana remains stoic off to the side, not saying a word.
Finally, I turn to her, my eyes begging her to say something nice for once. “Nana, what do you think?”
Nana clamps a withered hand over her mouth and shakes her head. The expression in her sunken brown eyes is one I’ve never seen before. She finally steps forward, takes me in her arms, and squeezes the life out of me. Then she turns her head to firmly plant a kiss on my cheek, pulls back abruptly, and heads to the door, sniffling. I can’t help but smile again, even though my cheeks are starting to hurt. I’ll take that reaction over a thousand words any day.
On the way down the steps out of the dentist’s office, I beg Dad to let us go out to eat. “I want to try out my new teeth.”
Dad laughs. “They’re the same teeth you’ve always had, and you can try ’em out just as well at home.”
“Yeah, but I haven’t had corn on the cob in years, and you know Hogger’s BBQ has the best around. Please? I took really good care of these teeth with this moment in mind.”
“Really? For Hogger’s corn on the cob?” Dad asks with a grin.
“Absolutely.”
“Honey, I just don’t think it’s such a good idea right now.”
I resort to begging, which for me just involves puppy eyes and batting my long, dark eyelashes at him. “Pleeease?”
D.O.R.K. Series Box Set Page 5
