“You here to join us for breakfast?” Cass asks.
“Yeah, if you don’t mind too much.”
“Well, then I guess we’d better get started.” Cass nods to Dad, and they head to the kitchen to cook French toast together. That’s my favorite of their ‘couple quirks.’ The mere smell of one of their breakfasts can wake me out of a dead sleep. Ana dismisses herself to take a shower, leaving Gio and me alone.
“Can I hear you play something else?” Gio asks as he sits down on the three-seater couch.
“Sure, what do you like?”
“Can you play ‘I Love Rock ’N‘ Roll?’”
My lip pulls up in an arrogant smirk. That’s a song I learned when I was twelve. I’m relieved he picked an older song I actually know. I start playing and singing my own version of the song, and even I have to admit it sounds pretty incredible with my voice. I glance up at Gio at the end of the first chorus, and he looks completely star-struck. Just to blow his mind, I blast through the rest of the song, jazzing up the final chorus with my best guitar riffs. When I’m done, he claps enthusiastically, and my face gets hot and I smile like an idiot.
“Play another one.” I play “Sweet Child of Mine” by Guns N’ Roses. Then Gio asks, “Do you write any of your own music?” I nod. “Can you play me something you wrote?”
Suddenly, I feel like a shrinking violet instead of the Wonder Woman of rock ’n’ roll. “I don’t know about that…”
“Come on, I won’t judge, I swear.”
“I dunno…”
“If you play me a song, I’ll take you on the red carpet with me.”
My eyes almost pop out of their sockets and fall into my open mouth. “What? Are you serious?” “Yeah, totally,” he says with a huge grin.
A guttural sound pushes its way out of my throat. “I think I’m getting the better end of that deal!”
“Exactly, so now you have no excuse. Play me your song.”
Who could resist that teasing sparkle in his eyes? Those dimples? That offer?
“Well…all right…” I clear my throat, steady my hands, and start into the song I’ve been working on over the past couple of months. It starts with a slow, mournful intro as I whisper-sing a softer version of the chorus. Then, as I move into the verse and the bridge, the chords get heavier and my gritty, melodic voice grows stronger.
Locked in a cage,
Frozen in chains,
Will it never be my day?
Always the same,
Always enslaved by this pain,
Someday I’ll break away.
I’m sleeping inside,
A prison of your own design,
I’m trapped in a cell,
Awaiting the day I escape this hell.
But nobody knows, nobody cares,
Tell me why they don’t know,
Why can’t I go out there?
Give me a chance, give me a choice,
And we can be free,
I’ll never again be
Locked in a cage,
Frozen in chains,
Will it never be my day?
Always the same,
Always enslaved by this pain,
Someday I’ll break away.
My chords end abruptly. “That’s all I have so far.”
Gio grins, clapping his hands. “I’ve got to tell Dalton about you. He’s looking for bandmates, and you have just the style he’s looking for.”
My voice rises two octaves. “Really?”
“If you’re interested, that is. You probably have plans already—”
“No, I don’t. I’m interested.”
“Do you mind if I bring him over here sometime?”
“Not at all.” I take off the guitar and set it on the stand. “Bring him anytime.”
“Awesome.” Gio smiles, and I have to smile back.
“Five minutes!” Cass calls from the kitchen, and Gio stands from the couch. We cross the room to each other, and excitement jolts through me at the thought of getting to touch him again.
“I’m glad you came over. I was wondering when I’d see you next,” I say.
“Well, truthfully, I couldn’t wait any longer for a repeat of last night,” he whispers, making his slow approach. I swallow hard as he glances around to make sure we’re still alone, and then he presses a firm, yet gentle kiss to my lips. He tries to pull away like a good boy, but I hold his head down and kiss him again, letting our noses touch sides and burying my fingers in the little curls at the nape of his neck.
“Dio, sei così bella,” he whispers. His breath passes through my lips into my mouth, and I linger against him, relishing his closeness.
“What was that?”
“I said, ‘God, you’re so beautiful.’”
I smile against his lips. “I’m gonna have to say the same for you.”
He kisses me deeply, and then he pulls back with that adorable teasing grin of his. “Also, you rock. Literally.”
I giggle. This gorgeous Italian ping-pongs between being irresistibly romantic and a typical teenage guy. “Thanks.” I give him one more kiss, and then he drapes an arm around my waist as we head into the kitchen.
After breakfast, Gio takes me straight over to the villa to hang out alone. As soon as he shuts the front door behind us, he presses me up against it, bringing his lips down onto mine with magnetic force. I bury my hands in his hair and kiss him back with minimal restraint, glad to finally have him alone. It was torture sitting at that breakfast bar together and wanting nothing more than to lean over and kiss him again. We held hands under the counter, but it just wasn’t the same.
After a few minutes, Gio scoops me up in his arms and carries me away from the door. It’s the first time any guy has carried me, and I feel like I’ve literally been swept off my feet.
“Where are we going?” I ask breathlessly.
“My room.” He said that as if it was the most natural thing in the world. My eyes pop wide open, and he quickly explains. “I’m not expecting anything. This is just in case Steph comes home early. Sometimes he works from home.”
“Oh…okay.” I smile and lean against his sturdy shoulder as he easily carries me up the stairs to his room. He sets me down in front of his door, and he kisses me as he opens it behind me and nudges me inside. After the door is closed behind us, Gio picks me up again and strides over to his bed. He tosses me onto it like a doll and tickles the life out of me. I laugh and thrash, trying to get his hands off me.
“Stop! Stop!”
He chuckles at my protests. “You have the cutest laugh.”
“I can’t be held responsible for what I do to you,” I warn him through my giggles.
“Mm…I like the sound of that.” He keeps on tickling me, and I squirm even more.
“Stop!” I kick him with all my might while he’s off-balance, and he tumbles down onto the floor. Both of us pause in stunned silence, and then Gio bursts into laughter.
“I think that’s the second time I’ve ever had my ass kicked by a girl.”
“I am so sorry,” I mutter in horror. “Are you okay?”
“Never better.” He’s still laughing as he comes back up to lie beside me on the bed. “Now I’m even more convinced you’re Wonder Woman in disguise.”
He snakes a muscular arm around me and kisses me again, and I pull into him, holding his head and neck with my hands. His tongue touches my lips, and I hesitantly part them and let my tongue meet his. His mouth tastes like the cinnamon gum he spit out right before we came inside. It’s spicy, alluring, and sweet, just like him. We swirl our tongues in unison, creating a sort of slow dance meant just for us.
He moves his hand down to the small of my back as he searches for the hem of my shirt. When his fingers graze the exposed skin of my back, his tongue reaches further into my mouth. I let him pull me in even closer, and he rubs his hand up and down my back, holding me tightly against him.
We kiss for a long time, but then his fingers inch down over the
waist of my jeans and toward my back pocket, and fear settles in my stomach instead of excitement. He may not think he’s expecting anything, but it seems like he is. If he doesn’t expect it, he’s at least hoping for it. He needs to know. I guess I’m going to have to tell him about my rule.
I pull back. “Hey, um…I need to tell you something.”
“What’s up?” He reclines on his elbow, supporting his head with his hand. There’s a hint of disappointment on his face, but he smiles to cover it.
“Well…I kind of have this resolution about sex. I…I don’t want to have sex until I’m in love with someone.”
Both his eyebrows raise, and his lips make an O. “I see.”
“I know, that probably sounds backward and weird, but—”
“No, no, it’s fine. It’s just…”
“What?”
He chuckles. “Well, aren’t you almost eighteen? I’d be getting really impatient by now if I were you.”
I shrug. “Honestly, I never had an opportunity, so I didn’t obsess over it too much.”
“So you’re not in love with me, huh?” He pokes out his lower lip and draws his eyebrows together in mock pain.
I laugh. “Not yet, anyway.”
He smirks, and then he leans in close to my ear. “You know, there are a lot of fun things we can do that don’t count as sex.”
My heart pounds, and I feel the electricity between us rising. “Yeah?”
He pulls back with a nod and a naughty smile. “I don’t have to show you today, but just know you don’t have to be chaste to be a virgin. I mean, it’s summer. You’re too beautiful to be stuck in a bedroom by yourself playing games.”
I glance down at his body, feeling its pull on me like never before. “I will admit I’m curious.”
“Well then, I can show you a good time while you’re here. We don’t have to go all the way. If we fall in love, we fall in love. If not, you’ll have a summer to remember.”
I bring my fingers down to touch his chest through his thin white shirt. “Maybe…”
“Madness, look at me.” I tip my head up to meet his gaze, and I see sincerity in his eyes. “I’m not going to force you into anything. We can do nothing but kiss if you want. It’s all up to you.”
“Well…” My hand lingers on his chest, and I run it up to his neck. “Let’s kiss for now and see where it goes.”
Gio nods and waits a mere beat before leaning down and taking my lips again. This time, his hand stays firmly planted on the outside of my shirt, and part of me wishes he’d slip it back in.
June 11
Hot, Hot Summer
The last four days have been a whirlwind. I hate to admit it, but I’ve put a pause on my missions and the reasons I’m here in the first place. Giovanni Abate hijacked my vacation. He’s all I can think about now. We’ve spent hours in his room, in his hot tub, out on the patio…everywhere. All we’re doing is making out and touching each other’s bodies over the clothes, but it’s still pretty intense.
Being with Gio over the last week almost made me forget about the events of the weekend. Almost. Unfortunately, the rest of the world won’t let me forget.
Tomorrow I’m going to Santa Monica Beach with Gio to watch him surf with his friends, and I’m extremely nervous about seeing them again. I know they’ve read the articles about me and all the cruel comments I received. What are they going to think of me after reading all that? They probably do think I’m a whore. I bet they think Gio’s been absent lately because of a week of sordid sexual behavior instead of make-out sessions out by the pool.
You know, maybe I should let them think that. I don’t really want anyone knowing I’m making Giovanni Abate wait for sex.
Amidst all this hotness, I did find out something weird. Jacie Redinger is out of town for a film shoot until July First. It’s strange how everything about her adds up, yet there’s no way she could be my mother. I would look into it, but Gio’s texting me again, and…
Oh God…
I just got my first dirty text.
It’s not graphic or anything, but…I’m fanning myself…
Ttyl,
Mads
Me: Giovanni Abate! You’re gonna get me in so much trouble!
Gio: You know you liked that, though ;)
Me: Of course, but Dad checks my phone sometimes. At least warn me!
Gio: Lmao. Will do.
Gio: Incoming.
I get another text from him, and my eyes bug out.
Me: Stop. It’s not fair.
Gio: You in love with me yet, bella? ;)
I laugh and roll my eyes. He is a never-ending tease.
Me: Working on it :P
Late Friday afternoon, Ana and I ride along with Gio to Santa Monica. This time, I’m wearing a swimsuit I’m sure is going to stay on, and I doubleknotted it just for insurance. It’s an extremely hot day, so I also sprayed on some 100 SPF sunscreen before we left the house. I rubbed it in so well that Gio couldn’t even tell the difference.
When we get to the beach, I give Gio a quick kiss before he runs out to the water with his surfboard to meet his friends. Ana and I lay out our towels next to Zuri and a couple of other girls who are lying in the sun listening to music. Since they’re zoned out and not paying attention to us at all, Ana and I talk amongst ourselves until Ana gets a call. “Hello? Oh, h-hi, Jerica! No, I’m not busy, what’s up? Yeah…yeah, I-I’d love to. Sure. Okay, well just let me know. Thanks. Okay. You too. Bye.” Ana’s about to have a panic attack when she hangs up the phone.
“What’s going on?”
Ana turns to me with a deer-in-the-headlights expression, shaking like a leaf. “I’m…uh…I’m hanging out with Jerica Valrey tonight.”
“Hanging out? Can I come?”
“Well, she only invited me.”
I immediately feel a surge of heat, and it’s not from the scorching-hot sun. Of course she wouldn’t want to hang out with me after what just happened. I’m embarrassed I even asked. “I get it.”
“No, no, it’s not that,” Ana’s quick to explain. “She really likes you, don’t worry. It’s just…well, she wanted to hang out with me alone, that’s all.”
“Oh…okay.” I try to bite back my smile, but it won’t stop. I’m too thrilled for her. Ana has a date.
“Nothing weird is going on, I swear.”
“Of course not.” I look down at my phone in my lap and pretend to be extremely interested in Candy Crush.
Ana pauses for about three beats. “You know already, don’t you?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You know what this really is.”
“Not if you don’t want me to.” I cringe. Shit! I was really trying not to let on.
She’s silent for a few more seconds. “Well…it seems like you do already know, so…” Ana sighs as she twists her hands in her lap. “I think we need to go for a walk.”
“I’m serious. You don’t have to talk about it.”
“Come on.” Ana stands and yanks me up from the sand.
As we walk down the beach a ways from the others, I turn my head to study her face. She has this stubborn scowl she only wears when she’s trying to protect herself or someone else. Her cute nose wrinkles up, and her eyes look like an emerald blaze that will incinerate you in a hot second if you piss her off. I wish I knew why she thinks she has to hide this from me, but maybe it’s not me she’s hiding from. Maybe it’s herself, or someone else. After about five minutes, she finally speaks.
“It’s a date,” she blurts out, and I stop in my tracks. I wasn’t expecting her to crack so easily.
“Ana! That’s amazing!” A tear streams down her cheek. “Hey…what’s wrong? Aren’t you happy?”
Her voice is tight. “I’m scared. Jerica’s famous. What if my parents find out?”
Of course. Her conservative parents. They’re definitely not going to approve of Ana going out with a woman. “Well…I mean, they understood about
Dad and Cass, right? Maybe they’ll understand about this.”
“They’re not going to understand.”
“How do you know that?”
“They’ll kick me out, Mads. That…that’s an understanding in our house. I know for a fact they’re going to disown me.” Her voice breaks, and she covers her mouth as the sobs begin.
“Oh, my God…” Tears burn my eyes as I take her in my arms and squeeze her tightly.
I suddenly remember things I’ve shut out of my mind for years. Nana used to drag me to church bright and early every Sunday morning when I was little, and there were times when Pastor Lincourt would go on and on about the fire and brimstone awaiting those who ‘chose’ homosexuality. I didn’t even understand what was going on at the time, so I tuned it out and forgot about it, but now I realize just how dark the last four years have been for my best friend. She was so afraid of getting the boot from her own parents that she couldn’t even tell me about her orientation.
“Listen, if they kick you out, that’s their loss. We would welcome you to live with us with open arms.”
“I don’t want to be kicked out, though,” she sobs. “I don’t want to be rejected by my own family.”
“You’re almost an adult now. Who knows? Maybe things will be different.”
“I really don’t think they’re going to be. Mom might understand, but…Dad definitely won’t.”
“Well…I really hope he changes his mind, but…no matter what, I will never breathe a word to them. Your secret is safe with me.”
She clings to me for a long time, and all the while my thoughts are racing in my worry. What’s going to happen to her now? If her parents somehow find out what she’s doing with Jerica, it could mean the worst for her. What if I screwed her over by bringing her here, giving her a taste of this amazing life only for it all to be ripped away at the end of the summer?
After a while, she wants to return to the others on the beach, and I keep my arm around her as we walk back. When her tears have completely subsided, I ask, “Ana-love, are you sure you want to do this?”
Ana sighs. “I know it’s risky, but this is a once-in-a-lifetime chance for me. I can’t imagine saying no to Jerica Valrey.”
D.O.R.K. Series Box Set Page 14
