Maybe they’ll take it upon themselves to show the world the fluke-iness of that drunk singing episode.
I end up making it through the song without any voice cracks or embarrassing mistakes. When I’m done with the song, the teacher and the class erupt into applause. My cheeks burn with embarrassment. I giggle and take a mock bow.
“Madison, you are extraordinary!” Ms. Juarez exclaims. “Can I hug you?”
I giggle giddily and move into her outstretched arms. “Sure.”
She embraces me tightly and whispers in my ear,
“You’re nothing like your sister, are you?”
“Depends on what you mean by that.”
“You’re not a troublemaker, right?”
“Oh, no. Definitely not.”
She lets out a comical sigh of relief. “Good.” She releases me and smiles. “Welcome to Chorus, Madison Daley.”
Ms. Juarez assigns me to the alto section, so Chandler and I are able to stay together. Devon is a high soprano so she has to move to the far end of the girls’ section. Chandler gushes about my voice and when she asks me my secret, I simply reply:
“I just have to avoid singing while drunk.”
September 15
A Good and Bad Day
So I’ll start with the good news, since that’s in short supply lately…
I redeemed myself. Sort of. I had to audition for my Chorus class and I nailed it. “My Immortal” is one of my favorite songs, and this time I knocked it out of the park. People recorded me too, so here’s hoping that video goes viral instead of my drunk singing fuckup.
The bad news is pretty bad, though.
Everyone, the entire school, now knows I’m a virgin. Gio blurted it out when he confronted Liam Wellington about trying to pressure me into going under the bleachers with him. I was super embarrassed…until I realized that somehow that news made me more desirable to all the guys in school.
I never imagined being a virgin would make me more popular with the guys. It’s just a bad kind of popularity. A lot of the single guys in the school— and some douches who already have girlfriends—want to be the one who swipes Madison Daley’s V-card. I don’t want a single one of them. If a guy only wants to sleep with me so he can brag to his friends…um, no thanks. That’s got to be the worst reason ever to hop in bed with someone.
Then again, being the laughingstock of the school just because I’m a virgin is not fun at all. I’m half-tempted just to get it over with so people will be laughing at me for one less thing. What’s virginity in comparison to your school standing, right?
Well, a lot. At least to me.
I have this fantasy about how it’s going to be when I finally have my moment. A guy I love with all my heart is going to whisk me off my feet, scatter rose petals all over the room, light a dangerous number of candles, and whisper how much he loves me in my ear as he kicks the door closed behind us. Call me a hopeless romantic, but that’s what I want. I’m holding onto that fantasy even though I know there’s a slim chance of any teenage guy ever thinking of doing all that just to get in my pants.
Now I’m wondering if it’s worth it. I don’t know if I can take this drama every day for a whole year just to keep the dream alive. You don’t get everything you want in life, right? I’ve already got a great family—well, half of my family’s great—good friends, my health, a crazy fortune via Cass…maybe I should give up this one thing. I don’t know.
The dude at least has to be worthy. I refuse to give in to these desperate little boys who somehow got my number and now are harassing me over text.
What losers.
Whoa, what the… Surprise, surprise.
Giovanni Abate just texted me for the first time since July.
Ttyl,
Mads
Gio: Hey, can I come over and talk to you?
I clench my teeth, seething with anger. He has the nerve to ask so casually if he can come over after what he just did to me? No way. It’s not going to be that easy.
Me: Come within ten feet of me and I’ll kick your ass.
Gio: I know, I screwed up. I wasn’t thinking when I told him you were a virgin. It just slipped out of my mouth.
Gio: I’m so sorry. Please let me come and apologize.
Gio: Please. I’m an idiot. I’ll grovel at your feet. I’ll do whatever it takes.
I tap my thumb on the side of the phone feverishly, unsure of how to respond. Forgiving him seems too easy. Hating him is impossible. Staying mad is just going to make Physics really, really awkward. I give it a little more thought and hastily text him back.
Me: You want my forgiveness? Fix this. I don’t care what you have to do, just fix it.
Gio: I will. I promise, Madness.
My heart slams to a halt at the use of my nickname. Every emotion and experience of the summer comes flooding back at the sight of that one word. My eyes water up with tears. I lock my phone and toss it on the bed.
One thing sticks in my mind even when I’m trying to fall asleep at midnight.
He remembers.
The next day I walk in with Raven as always and her minions shield me from the snickers and leers of the people around me. Chandler, Mari, and Kiki stay close all the way to my locker and surround me on every side to protect me. Mission Survival seems to be coming in handy right now. I knew having such a powerful ally was a must in high school.
Liam comes to his locker beside me, and every muscle in my body tenses. I brace myself for his inevitable comment about my virginity. He leans close to me and whispers:
“You ready to shed that virgin status yet?” As I’m growling under my breath, the same voice that interrupted us yesterday interrupts us again.
“Hate to tell you, Wellington, but her virgin status is long gone.”
Liam whirls around to face Gio with a scowl.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean? Did you take care of that yesterday after school?”
Gio’s sexy smirk appears and my heart flutters involuntarily. “No, I took care of that earlier this summer. I told you she was a virgin because I was jealous. Actually, she was the best I ever had. I just didn’t want slime like you to ruin her.”
My jaw hangs wide open. So do Liam’s and my minions’. The other people in the hallway hush once again to listen in on the conversation.
“You told me she was a virgin to turn me off from her?” Liam asks in disbelief.
“Yeah, but since that didn’t work, there’s no point in humiliating her with that ridiculous lie anymore. Sorry, Madison. I didn’t mean to cause such an uproar. From now on, I’ll keep my mouth shut and mind my own business.” Gio turns on his heel and crosses the hall to his locker as if nothing just happened.
Everyone giggles and whispers around us. Liam turns to me with a sickeningly hungry look in his eyes.
“The best he ever had, huh?” I give him the look of death.
“You heard him. But that doesn’t mean I’m interested in you.”
I slam my locker door shut and turn around before Liam can harass me even further. Before I stalk down the hallway, I catch Gio’s gaze. I smile and mouth the word “thanks.” He winks at me. I tear myself away from his incredible face to go on my merry way.
For the rest of the day, I’m still harassed by guys, but now it’s because they think I’m some kind of sex goddess. I just roll my eyes and tell them over and over I’m not interested. It amazes me how bold and forward these guys are, and how they think any girl will just fall into their arms because of who their parents are. No thanks, pervs. There’s only one guy I’m attracted to in this school. Unfortunately for me, I can’t have him. Funny how that works.
Finally, Physics class arrives. My heart pounds when Gio flashes me a smile as he takes a seat next to me. We got here early, and there are seven minutes before class starts, so I guess it’s finally time for us to have a face-to-face chat. Technically, I’m not supposed to be talking to him because of Raven, but I can’t really avoid that bei
ng his lab partner, can I? Perfect excuse. I couldn’t have arranged this better if I had planned it.
I clear my throat to get his attention, and his head immediately snaps around in my direction. I smile and proceed with caution.
“Hey, thanks for what you said in the hallway. I’m still not happy about what you told him yesterday, but all is forgiven.”
Gio grins widely, making his dimples deeper than ever. “I thought you might like my ‘fix it’ plan.”
I tease him right back. “So I was the best you ever had, huh?”
An air of seriousness comes over him. “For what I got, yes, you were.”
My heart feels like a hand is squeezing it. My mouth goes dry and I have to swallow to wet my throat.
“Thanks, that’s nice of you to say.”
He leans in to look deeply into my eyes. “It was the truth.”
For a glorious moment, his silver gaze holds mine and I let myself believe his words. I want nothing more right now than to just fall back into his arms, but sadly that isn’t my fate. I force myself to avert my gaze, tapping my finger on the desk next to my iPad.
“Anyway…” I stop to clear my throat. “Since we’re lab partners, do you think we could let bygones be bygones? This will be a lot easier if we’re on friendly terms.”
“I’ve been thinking about the same thing,” Gio admits. “Plus I’ve been getting owned on Battlefield lately. I miss my mentor.”
I giggle up at him. “You really need me, don’t you?” “I really do.” He gives me a significant look.
Panic rises inside me.
No, no, no. Please don’t do this. Don’t tempt me to betray my sister and ruin everything I’ve worked on over the past couple of months.
“Well, we can play games and study together. There’s no law against that,” I concede. I give him a stern look, like, That’s all it can be.
He nods. “Sounds fair.”
Class starts not long after that, but I find it hard to still my galloping heart. Gio’s making it pretty clear he hasn’t forgotten about me. I haven’t forgotten about him. We’re going to be spending a lot of time together this year, yet my sister will murder me if she even sees us together in public.
Mission Survival might pose more of a threat than I ever thought possible.
September 16
Mission Survival Update
Recent developments have forced me to revisit the terms of this mission. I need to remind myself of my boundaries and the reasons I started this in the first place. If Gio ever tries to get me back, I need to remember I can’t go back to him for numerous reasons, chief among which is that my twin sister had him first, and according to her, it’s against the “sister code” for me to have him now. Also, I really need Raven’s alliance now. It’s the least I can do to keep the terms of this deal since she’s holding up her end of the bargain and granting me her protection at school. I can’t even imagine how awful this experience would have been if Raven was against me too. People at school are scared of her, and I need to keep her on my side so eventually they’ll be scared to touch me. Most of them don’t seem very nice, with the exception of the friends I already had and Kiki and Chandler.
So here are the terms of Mission Survival.
Rule 1: Friend-zone Gio.
Rule 2: Don’t steal her minions.
Rule 3: Don’t fraternize with her enemies.
Rule 4: Join a club with her.
Rule 5: Don’t change my physical appearance.
Rule 6: Don’t do stupid shit.
This one was unspoken, but implied. She gets really pissed off when I embarrass myself in public.
Speak of the devil…she’s calling me.
Ttyl,
Mads
I slide my phone screen to answer. “Hey Raven, what’s up?”
“You let Giovanni Abate tell the school you were the best sex he’s ever had?” Her voice is enraged.
She’s practically yelling through her teeth.
My eyes roll up to the ceiling and I let out a weary breath. I didn’t even think about her reaction to what he said in the hallway.
“I’m sorry. I can’t control what he says. Besides, it got everyone to stop shouting my virginity far and wide,” I explain.
“Yes, well now everyone’s shouting your history far and wide. Is that better?”
I shrug. “Not really, but what am I supposed to do about it?”
“Madison, you have gotten into nothing but trouble ever since you arrived in L.A. When are you going to stop humiliating our family?”
Tears well up in my eyes. She just struck the biggest nerve I have. It’s not that I care so much about what she thinks of me or the family name, but I am tired of being humiliated. I wish I knew how to stop. “I’m trying, okay? I didn’t mean to do any of this. Bad things just seem to…happen to me.”
“Well, they need to stop happening. I’m tired of having to explain away my sister’s mishaps. One more major screw-up, and our deal is done. Do you hear me? Done.”
“I promise I won’t screw up anymore,” I say, hoping I can come through on that promise.
“Also, I heard from one of my assistants that you’re lab partners with Giovanni in Physics class. Did you even try to get that changed?”
“Yes, as a matter of fact, I did. The teacher wouldn’t change the assignment.”
Raven sighs, causing static in the phone. I can practically hear the wheels in her head turning. “Very well. Normally, I’d try to find a way to get you out of it, but with how busy the beginning of this school year has been so far, I’m afraid I haven’t the time. Have you chosen a club yet?”
“I think I’m going to join SAB, Students Against Bullying.”
“Good choice,” Raven says approvingly. “Let’s try to recover our strong image over the next two days, all right? By the way, we need to talk about planning a birthday party. I thought we could throw a big eighteenth birthday bash to build rapport with the students this year.”
I smile. “That actually sounds like fun.”
“Perhaps a Halloween-slash-birthday party?”
“Yeah, we could have costumes and everything.”
“Good idea! We’ll meet over the weekend to plan it. Mother’s been wanting to see you again, anyway,” Raven informs me.
“Okay. Is Sunday lunch all right?”
“Sounds perfect. We’ll look forward to seeing you then.”
“Okay, see ya.”
“Bye.” Raven hangs up without embellishment.
I laid the phone on the bed, feeling a torrent of different emotions. One minute, she was steaming mad at me, and the next she was talking about planning a birthday party together. Having Raven Redinger as a twin sister is a roller coaster ride. I wasn’t expecting my feelings to get involved, but I guess that’s inevitable with family, even if they’ve been out of your life for seventeen years. For some reason, I really want her to be proud to call me her sister instead of embarrassed. Why do I even care? I don’t know why, but I do.
A knock comes at my door. I mumble the words,
“Come in.”
Dad peeks his head in the door, smiles, and creeps inside. “You okay, baby girl?”
I let out a shuddering sigh. “Sort of.” He asks me what’s wrong and I briefly fill him in on the events of the last three days. Dad sits down on the bed beside me and envelops me in a hug.
“You just can’t seem to catch a break, can you, sweetheart?”
“No.” A tear slips down my cheek.
Dad wipes the tear away and kisses me on the top of the head. “Well, I came up here to show you something I think might cheer you up. Can I see your computer?”
“Yeah, sure.” I close out of my diary and hand Dad the laptop. He Google searches my name and shows me the results. I can’t help but smile when I see the headlines.
Madison Daley’s real voice will blow you away!
Video of Madison Daley’s Chorus audition goes viral!
The
drunk singing gene runs in the family…and so does the rock star gene!
My cheeks hurt from smiling. Dad squeezes me so tightly it feels like our sides are fused together. I hug him back and start crying for a different reason.
“Baby girl, no matter what happens, I am always proud of you, but right now I’m especially proud.” I hear the break in his voice. “You’re going to go on to do amazing things no matter what anyone says.
Don’t let the world get you down. You’ve got so much life ahead of you to live. It’s not worth letting little high schoolers ruin it for you.”
“I won’t, Dad,” I promise in a trembling voice. “What should I do now?”
“Don’t acknowledge these headlines, first of all,” he warns me firmly. “You just pour your heart and soul into developing that band of yours. Soon enough, people will see your true talent. Don’t let anyone talk you into committing to something you don’t want to do.” I know he’s warning me against signing any type of solo deal. He doesn’t even have to say it. I nod against him and get lost in the safety of my dad’s arms. No matter what happens, he believes in me. In the tumult that is my new life, Dad is my rock.
A new text message comes from Raven. I laugh wickedly at its contents.
Raven: Just saw the headlines about your singing. I apologize for every harsh word I ever said to you. This is media gold.
Over the next few hours, all my friends and some family members congratulate me on my newfound, finally deserved fame. Ana squeals over the phone at me for a solid minute until I finally tell her she’s hurting my ears. I pour out to her everything that’s happened over the past three days and she tells me she’s so happy things are finally looking up. She also tells me she thinks I should give Gio another chance, and I tell her she’s crazy. If I want to keep my head, which I very much do, that’s not an option. A little later, I get a text from someone I haven’t heard from in a few days.
Logan: Hey Mads! Congrats on the good news! It’s nice to know those other videos weren’t your real singing voice. I have to admit, that had me a little worried lol. I’m going to be in town on Saturday so we can hear potential bass players. Dalton and I figured we could set up auditions for then if that’s okay.
D.O.R.K. Series Box Set Page 31
