Jess gestures to the table and Dad and I take seats next to each other. We’re served a beautiful spread of citrus chicken, kale salad, and seasonal vegetables. It doesn’t surprise me that Jess and Raven have a live-in chef. Raven’s immaculate figure couldn’t survive without it. Jess seems to be losing a lot of weight lately. Every time I see her, the bones in her hands are more prominent. I hope she’s not sick or something.
“How is school, Madison?” Jess asks after we’re settled into our meal.
“It’s all right. I’m sure you’ve seen the headlines.” A smile livens up her features. “Yes, I certainly did! I want you to know how proud I am. You have a wonderful voice. I’m sure that talent will take you far.”
I can’t help but feel warmed by her praise. In spite of everything, hearing my mother say she’s proud of me feels a lot better than I expected.
“Thanks, Jess. I’m glad the incident in London is history. Now it’s time to get our band on its feet.”
“You’re starting a band?”
I nod while I chew and swallow a large bite of chicken. “Dalton Jacobs and I are.”
Her face falls at the mention of Dalton Jacobs. She clears her throat and forces a smile back on.
“Sounds like fun. I suppose you’ll be very busy with school and starting a band now.”
“Yeah, I don’t expect to have a whole lot of free time.”
A look of horror seizes her features. She purses her lips and dabs her mouth with a napkin. Pushing her food away, she stands from the table abruptly. “Excuse me,” she mutters.
Jess hurries inside the French doors and disappears into the mansion. I glance at Raven with a question in my eyes.
Raven shrugs. “She’s been dashing up from the table a lot lately. I’m not exactly sure what’s going on.”
Raven and Dad talk amongst themselves for a while after that while I stay silent, playing with the food on my plate. It’s good, but just being in the Redingers’ lair is unnerving for me. I’m finding it hard to keep up my appetite.
Jess does not return before we’re done with our meals, so Dad, Raven, and I come back in to the back parlor to wait on her. While they stand in the center of the room and discuss Raven’s exercise habits, I pace the room, studying the artifacts and paintings that line the walls. Jess seems to be a collector of antiques and rare valuable items. A bit of a clutter bug too. There’s a mahogany desk in the corner of the room piled high with documents and magazines. The furniture is an interesting tan and gold mixture. Very plush and inviting. Staring at all this richness, I can hardly believe that in an alternate reality, I would have at least partially grown up in this place. One could easily get spoiled in all this luxury. It’s no wonder Raven’s so entitled and stuck-up.
Finally, after about fifteen minutes, Jess enters the room looking a little worse for wear. Her hair is mussed and the front of her clothes are wrinkled. I notice the bags under her eyes and concern settles in my stomach. Something’s very wrong. She doesn’t even have to say anything. I can tell this isn’t the vibrant, tenacious Jessica Redinger I’m used to seeing.
“Everyone sit down, please. I need to have a talk with you, and now is just as good a time as any,” Jess says. Dad and I sit side-by-side on a sofa. Raven and Jess sit opposite each other on antique chairs. When Jess twists her hands in her lap, I’m struck again by how skeletal they are. She takes a cloth tissue from her pocket and dabs at her eyes and nose before continuing.
“By now, you all may have noticed a change in me. I’ve been going to treatments without telling anyone because I didn’t want to make things public, but recent developments have made it necessary for me to at least inform my immediate family.” She clears her throat and tucks her hair behind her ear. “A few weeks ago, before we returned to the states, I went to a doctor in London and was diagnosed with brain cancer. I’ve been in chemotherapy for the past couple of weeks, but they’re going to have to perform surgery soon. There’s no guarantee I’m going to survive this cancer even if they do the surgery, but that’s the only way I have any sort of chance.” She raises her head to look at Dad with terrified, burdened eyes. “Michael, I was wondering if you’d mind keeping Raven for a while when I’m in surgery and for a few days as I’m recovering.”
Dad’s eyes fly wide open with horror. After a long moment of silence, he clears his throat and nods.
“Of course, Jessica. Anything you need. I am truly sorry about your bad news.”
I glance at Raven. Her eyes are filled with tears and are threatening to spill over.
“You have cancer and you didn’t even tell me?” she rasps.
The air in the room grows thick with tension. Jess moves to kneel in front of Raven and caresses her cheek. “Darling, I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to worry you until I knew all the details of my treatment.”
Raven jerks away from Jess’s touch. “That’s why you’ve been running away from the table? That’s why you’re losing weight? You’re in chemo?”
Jess nods sadly. “I know, I should have said something. I wish things weren’t this way, but we’re going to have to make the most of it—”
Raven stands, her eyes sparking with anger.
“Make the most of it? What good could possibly come of this? And why didn’t you tell your own daughter the moment you knew?”
Jess stands with effort to face her. “Sweetheart, it’s complicated—”
“You were afraid I’d tell.” Tears streak down Raven’s cheeks. Her lip trembles as she desperately tries to keep her voice under control. “You kept it from me because you thought I’d inform the media.
You don’t trust me at all.”
“What? No, Raven, that’s not it at all—”
Raven shakes Jess’s hands off her and runs toward the stairway in the entry hall. Dad and I stand dumbstruck, not knowing how to respond when Jess’s tears begin.
My heart clenched for Raven as soon as I realized Jess didn’t tell her. I can imagine how she must feel. If Dad found out he had cancer and didn’t tell me until several weeks afterwards, I’d be crushed, especially if I thought it was because he was afraid I would tell. I don’t think that’s why Jess did this, though. In a way, I understand. It was her news to deliver and she hated to tell us at all. She probably agonized over how to break the news to Raven.
As Jess sobs quietly under her hand, I move to embrace her, feeling slightly awkward when she latches onto me and won’t let go. She wets my neck with her tears, clinging to me as if I’m her last hope in the world.
“I’m sorry, Jess,” I whisper with a break in my voice. I don’t even have the heart to be upset that Raven’s going to be under the same roof with us again in the near future. The humanity of my mother and sister just made itself evident, and now I have a choice. I can go on hating them, or I can be the strong one for my newfound family.
September 20
The C-Word
Cancer. My mother has cancer. I never even thought about someone in my family coming in contact with that dreadful disease. Jess just told us she was diagnosed with brain cancer and she’s currently in treatment. Everything is about to change for Jessica Redinger. I don’t know if or when she plans on going public with this news, but whatever the case, I don’t think we’ll be seeing any more of her past troublemaking self.
I felt terrible for both her and Raven earlier today when she told us. It was like watching a person with no arms trying to lift another armless person out of a pit. They seemed so helpless, so fragile in the face of this news. They don’t have the strong support system Dad and I have in each other. Strong families band together in the face of adversity. Weak families crumble and turn against each other.
I seem to be the only one with Redinger blood around here who’s keeping my cool. I don’t have a reason to be destroyed by this, at least not yet. Jess and I are not likely to ever be close. I’ll be sorry to see her die if it comes to that, but our past together makes me a little distanced from this whole situati
on. Maybe that’s a good thing, or maybe it’s just a really sad reminder of how bad things were…I dunno.
Jess is still the woman who abandoned me, but she’s also the woman who has shown me a lot of care and consideration over the past couple of months. She didn’t berate me once for my mishaps of the summer and tried to help me any way she could on the press tour. Our bond grew back on the farm when we took a ride around the property together. She really does love horses almost as much as I do. It’s sad…so sad that we had to be ruined by some stupid, drug-induced decisions. I could feel the fact that we both wished we could turn back the clock.
I pity anyone who crosses Raven tomorrow at school. If any of the minions dare to step one foot out of line, there will be heads rolling. Maybe I should get there early and give them all a courtesy warning that she might not be her usual self, leaving out the part about Jess’s cancer, of course.
Man, it’s going to be hard not to blab this news. I can’t tell a single soul at school, though.
Here’s hoping I don’t do anything stupid tomorrow and all the Wilcox students get to keep their heads…except for maybe Liam Wellington. Raven can bite off his head if she wants. In fact, I encourage it.
Ttyl,
Mads
I don’t get time to warn the minions in the morning because my alarm didn’t go off. I don’t even get a chance to wave hello to Gio in the hallway because I’m so close to being late. I slide into my desk in the nick of time, just as the homeroom teacher’s getting ready to call attendance.
All the way to lunch, my day is pretty uneventful. Some students reach out to me and tell me how much they liked my singing, and I thank them warmly. Having strangers compliment me for something instead of looking at me half-naked or hearing me screech like a banshee is a refreshing change. I could definitely get used to this kind of attention.
I sit with Raven and the minions at lunch and, sure enough, Miss Queen Bee is on a rampage, barking orders left and right and making girls tremble in her presence. I try to appease her by acting excited to go to the SAB club after school with her this afternoon. After receiving a freezing cold glare, I wise up and keep my mouth shut. No amount of cheerfulness or pretending the events of yesterday didn’t happen is going to soften her up today.
Her bitchiness is bearable until something happens that I just can’t ignore. Chandler is in the seat between Raven and me, and when Raven moves to get up, she misjudges how close Chandler is to her and bumps into her, which sets her off balance. She narrowly avoids stumbling to the ground by grabbing onto Chandler’s shoulder for dear life. With a nasty grimace, Raven shakes off her hand like she just touched a snake and scowls at Chandler.
“Don’t you own a scale, you bloody hippo? I can’t even find the bone in your shoulder. You disgust me.”
Everyone at the table gasps. My stomach plunges when Chandler’s lower lip trembles and tears build up in her eyes. I stand hastily and stare Raven down.
“Raven Redinger, that was uncalled for. Apologize to Chandler right this second.”
Raven scoffs at me. “What are you, my mother?”
I stand my ground with a firm expression. When she sees I’m not going to waver, she mutters an insincere “sorry,” picks up her tray, and stomps her way into the café.
Kiki comes over to hug Chandler from Raven’s vacated seat as Chandler muffles a sob with her palm. I sit down on her other side and wrap my arm around her.
“Hey, Chandler, don’t listen to her. She’s a stone-cold bitch. You’re beautiful,” I assure her, brushing her hair back from her face.
“I know.” Chandler sniffles and wipes moisture from her eyes. “It just sucks having someone plunge a knife into your heart like that. It happens all the time, though. I’m such a baby for crying over it—”
“No, you’re not,” Kiki soothes her. “Raven makes everybody cry.”
Some of the other girls mutter their agreement. Overcome by confusion, I look them in the eyes one by one and ask a question that’s been bugging me.
“Why do you all put up with this abuse? Is it really worth getting invites to those parties?”
Kiki glances up at me with a scolded-puppy expression. “All of us have a dream here in L.A. I want to be an actress. Chandler wants to be a model. Raven promised us she would recommend us to recruiters once we get out of high school if we work for her while we’re here. That’s the real reason we’re willing to put up with all this.”
Chandler dabs her eyes with a napkin and nods.
“It’s true. I’d never endure this for parties, but I will do anything to achieve my dreams, even if it feels degrading.”
My jaw tenses and I shake my head. Who does Raven think she is, representing an anti-bullying cause when she’s the one doing the bullying? She’s not just a part of the SAB club—she’s the president. I know she’s hurting, but that doesn’t give her an excuse to turn her pain on other people like this.
Everyone has their struggles. Making other people’s lives more difficult doesn’t make hers any easier. I’ve got to come up with some way to end this reign of terror. There are ways to help these girls without treating them like doormats. Raven’s attitude toward those she views as “beneath” her is absolutely unacceptable.
I’m still brainstorming about how to transform my villainous twin when I get to Physics and take my seat beside Gio. He looks up from his iPad and flashes me a dimpled grin. My face cracks into a smile and I temporarily forget about Raven. Talking to this guy again sounds like a lot more fun than thinking over family issues.
“Come va, Madness?” He locks his device and angles himself to face me. “I sat on my Xbox yesterday hoping you’d come online but you never did.”
I kick myself inwardly. “Sorry, we had some family issues to deal with yesterday.”
His brows draw together with concern. “Is everything all right?”
I swallow hard. Mr. Observant is not likely to miss my facial expression. I might as well tell him a veiled version of the truth.
“Jess needs surgery and Raven’s going to have to stay with us for a while. We were over at their place making arrangements.”
Gio cringes. “Yikes.”
I giggle. “Tell me about it.”
“So Raven is going to be living next door to me for a while?”
“Unfortunately, yes.”
“Thanks for the warning,” Gio says with a smirk. “I’ll turn off our security cameras so she doesn’t hack into our system and spy on us.”
I raise an eyebrow. “You sure you want to turn off your security instead of tighten it with my sister around?”
His velvety chuckle melts my insides. “Touché.”
I lean toward him as we discuss our upcoming Physics project. Gio’s strong with numbers and I’m strong with catching mistakes, so it seems like we’re going to be a good team. Talking and laughing with him again makes everything else in the world seem to fade around us. I forget my troubles and feel lightened, liberated somehow.
“You should come over sometime so we can work on this,” Gio suggests. “That might give you a little escape from the she-devil once she arrives.” “Good idea. I’ll let you know when I’m free. Saturdays are band practice days so I’m busy then, but maybe on a Sunday I could come over.”
“How about this Sunday?”
I smile at his eagerness to see me. “Sounds good.”
As the teacher calls attendance, Gio and I steal glances and grins, and I wonder why the hell I ever broke things off with this incredible guy.
Things are beyond awkward at the SAB meeting after school. Raven is still in a foul mood, yet she’s the president of the club, so she’s supposed to give a beginning-of-the-year speech. Every word is scripted and wooden and you can clearly tell she’s just going through the motions. She must only be heading up this group because it looks good on her record. It’s the only explanation for her joining it in the first place since she’s one of the meanest, most unapologetic bullies I’ve e
ver encountered.
“Bullying scars students’ self-esteem for life and makes them feel unsafe in an environment that should be the safest of all for learning and finding oneself. Students Against Bullying exists to make others aware of their effect on other’s psyches and work to effect change in the student body on a daily basis. Our ambassadors monitor bullying in the hallways and report any incidents they see to the principal or a teacher the same day. We have already stopped ten incidents so far this year, and we are working to prevent more all the time. Thank you all for being a part of this great club and caring about creating a safe environment for your fellow students here at Wilcox High School. I look forward to being your president once again.”
Raven sits down and the other students golf-clap. Looking at the blank faces around me, I’m thankful that these people are at least not fooled by her even if they’re sheeple for allowing her to head up this club in the first place.
The rest of the meeting is rather dull. We have to discuss a bunch of logistics for who stands in what hallway at what time and how the hell we’re going to cover the whole campus with the handful of people we have in here. Looking around at this group, I can tell they’re just a bunch of people who needed a club to join and thought this one was a worthy cause. They’re not really passionate about ending bullying or helping their fellow students. This is yet another area where I feel like maybe I can make a difference. I’ve been affected by cyberbullying, which is nearly as bad as in-person bullying, and watching Chandler suffer today really got to me. I’m planning on throwing my heart and soul into this.
Thinking over my now-long list of commitments and responsibilities, I start to wonder how I’m going to manage it all.
September 25
The Week from Hell
This week I’ve been ping-ponging between playing the devil’s advocate and standing up to the devil herself. The minions say they’ve never seen Raven so irritable. She’s been lashing out at anyone who dares to address her personally, so now people are just waiting for her to bark her orders at them instead of approaching her about things. Being her sister, I’ve taken the brunt of her anger more than once this week. I’m learning not to let her words get to me. She may think she can break me down with her cutting remarks, but actually I feel like I’m getting stronger every day. When it comes to verbally assaulting me, Raven’s bark is worse than her bite. She can threaten with whatever she wants, but I know she’s never going to act on it. She needs me too much for our rise to the top.
D.O.R.K. Series Box Set Page 33
