Kiki takes her phone and opens a voice recording app on it. She scrolls to a recording simply titled “Halloween” and presses the play icon. The exchange between Raven and me after getting my heart broken by Gio plays softly. My heart clenches with pain at hearing the conversation replayed, yet at the same time it soars with anticipation.
“You say the word, and this recording will go viral by tomorrow morning,” Kiki tells me with an accomplished smirk. “I may be working for Raven outwardly, but my loyalty is yours. You could do a lot with me as your inside woman.”
My lower lip slips between my teeth as I mentally work out my options. This golden opportunity to expose Raven Redinger once and for all is something I wasn’t counting on having so soon. It’s something I should jump at the chance to take advantage of. Yet at the same time, I know this cold war between us would spike to white hot if I did this, and I don’t know if I’m prepared to face the full brunt of Raven’s wrath. Our first battle is coming soon, I know it, but I need some time to repair my armor first.
“Thanks for letting me in on this, Kiki. I’ll…think about it.” I turn my lips up in a reluctant smile and Kiki nods, reaching over to twist the doorknob open for me. The light of the hallway assaults my eyes, causing me to groan involuntarily as I exit the closet and move on toward my locker as if I didn’t just receive earth-shattering news.
November 4
A Moral Dilemma
Just when I thought things could not get any more complicated, they take another turn. Now, thanks to Kiki, I have the perfect chance to destroy Raven’s reputation for good. The world will know exactly what she did to me—well, not just she—what they did to me. I could take both Gio and Raven down in the blink of an eye. All I have to do is give Kiki the permission she needs to take her recording of that awful night to the press, and I’ll have the upper hand over Raven. Everyone will know I’m not the man-stealing, loose girl they all think I am, and they’ll see Raven for the wicked witch she is.
This is too much power for me. I feel overwhelmed just thinking about it. Do I really have the guts to ruin two people like this? I know what they did to me, and I know how evil they are, but I don’t know if I have it in me to return fire. I told Kiki to keep the recording, but not to send it to the media just yet. I need some time to stew over this. It’s not a decision I can make lightly. Maybe some people would jump at the chance to get revenge, but not me. It just feels dirty and sinister somehow.
This is one of those opportunities you stash far, far in the back of your portfolio for a rainy day. Like a “last resort” kind of thing. I feel like telling the world how they manipulated me would actually make me look even more like a fool. I’d have to sink super low to use this chance…lower than I’ve ever been before, and that’s saying something.
So glad I’ve got the BlizzCon streaming with Logan to look forward to this weekend to take my mind off everything. I sold my ticket to a very grateful soul at Wilcox and bought an online streaming ticket instead. Logan, being the generous soul he is, apparently gave his away for free to a coworker. Such a sweet guy…
I want to sit on the couch beside him all weekend, inching over the distance between us until he finally caves, cuddles with me, and plants a kiss right on my aching lips.
Whoops, I promised Devon I wouldn’t move too fast…
Hopefully my slow-down plan will keep both of us from doing something stupid. I’m going to put on those glasses, smash my hair into a messy bun, and pull on the sloppiest, oldest hoodie and pair of sweatpants I can find. Then he won’t even want to come within five feet of me. We can enjoy each other’s company without slipping into the temptation of our romantic feelings for each other. It’s the perfect plan.
Ttyl,
Mads
When I hear Logan’s voice over the intercom, I rush downstairs to welcome him, embarrassed of my lackluster appearance but excited to see him nonetheless. I step outside the front door and watch him drive in with a brand new vehicle. It’s sleek, navy blue Corvette. Just seeing that car pulling up to our house and that guy stepping out of it makes me sweat inside this hoodie. I’m already regretting my decision to look bad on purpose.
Logan comes around the car with a gigantic grin, puffing out his chest with pride. “Hey, Mads! What do you think of this baby?”
“Sexy,” I automatically admit. “I love it.”
“Awesome.” He closes the distance between us with long strides and pulls me into his embrace. “You look like you could use a hug.”
“Thanks.” My giggle is muffled by his chest.
Logan pulls back to examine me and presses his forefinger to his chin in mock thought. His eyes are hidden by sleek black sunglasses. Figures that he would show up looking like sex on legs on the very day I decide to look like hell.
“Something’s…different about you,” he teases, his words long and drawn out. “I can’t quite put my finger on it—”
I whip my glasses off, making stray hairs come out of my bun and fall all over my face. “I know. I look like shit.”
“Hey…” He chuckles and brushes my hair aside. Then he takes my glasses from my hand and slides them gently back on my face. “I like them. They showcase your cuckoo personality.”
“Really?”
“Yes,” he emphasizes, grinning down at me in a way that is simply not fair. “Keep them on. And by the way, you’re beautiful no matter what you’re wearing.”
I beam up at him. Logan doesn’t care about my disheveled looks. All he wants is for me to be myself. There is no doubt in my mind now that I’ve picked the right guy to have a massive crush on. The only question now is does he feel the same way about me, or am I just fooling myself?
Logan comes to my side and threads his arm around my waist. He whispers in my ear, “Wanna help me test this mother out before the festivities begin?”
“Hell yeah!”
Logan leads me to the passenger door and opens it like a gentleman. I reward him with a smile. He smiles back and sneaks a kiss on my cheek before closing my door and crossing to his side. My heart pounds at the sweet, intimate gesture. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think we were dating already.
After Logan settles back into the driver’s side, he wiggles his butt into the seat just right and hisses out a satisfied sigh. “I swear this car was made for me.”
Giggling, I ask, “No offense, but how the hell did you afford this?”
“Your dad sent out checks to Dalton, Max, and me on the first. It was the first we’ve gotten paid for being in the band. The checks were pretty hefty.”
My face contorts with horror. “I didn’t get paid!”
Highly amused, Logan guffaws and points out, “You live in his mansion. He pays for your food, gas, schooling, and God knows what else. I think it evens out.”
“Yeah, but…I mean, we haven’t even made anything yet…”
My brain scrambles for a reason why Dad would send out paychecks to my bandmates and not even tell me about it. I understand wanting to keep them committed to me, but shouldn’t I have been in on this decision?
“I think he was just trying to help us out, Princess.” Logan winks and revs the ignition. He crushes the gas pedal with his foot, causing a roar from the engine.
“Showoff,” I grumble, sinking back into my crisp leather seat to pout. I get a ten-year-old hand-me-down car while Logan gets a brand new ‘Vette. My dad has no sense of justice whatsoever.
“Hey, you’re eighteen, right? You could go buy your own car.”
“Dad insists that none of his money will go toward a car for me,” I explain. “He says if I want a new car, I’m going to have to earn it myself. I don’t have time for a job right now, so…” I shrug. “I can’t get a car, I can’t get a tattoo, I can’t—”
“Wait…you want a tattoo?” I can see his curiosity even through his dark shades.
“Several, actually.”
“Wow…” He grins. “I never would have guessed.”
&nb
sp; “I’ve always wanted some, but I can’t get any right now because they’re not allowed at Wilcox. I also can’t dye my hair the way I want to. Being rich doesn’t mean I get everything I want all the time. I have to go without things sometimes, too.”
Logan’s face falls. He turns from looking at me to stare at his steering wheel. “Well now I feel like an asshole.”
My heart pings with remorse. Logan probably hasn’t had any of this nice stuff in his life so far. It’s not fair of me to begrudge him something he’s probably been dreaming of his whole life. I lay my left hand over his right on the steering wheel.
“Hey, it’s okay. It’s not like I’ll never have a chance, right?” I grin at him when he lifts his head to look at me to show him there are no hard feelings.
His lips curl up into a hint of a smile. “Right.” He waits a beat, then he adds, “And baby, you can drive my car any time.”
“Are you serious?” I squeal and reach for the steering wheel.
Logan stops me with his arm. “Uh, wait…do you even know how to drive a manual?”
“Yeah, I learned how to drive on Dad’s truck at home in Kentucky. It’s a stick shift.”
“Oh…well then, you might be even better at this than me. Let me drive it first for a few minutes and then once you see how it drives, you can try it, okay?”
I bounce up and down in my seat, unable to contain my delight. “Eek! Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
Since my hair is a mess anyway, I roll my window down, loving the air that whips my face as Logan blazes down the highway. We chose a route that’s not too heavily populated during Friday mornings. It almost reminds me of Kentucky, except we’re passing by ritzy neighborhoods and tall buildings instead of cow pastures and hay bales. Closing my eyes, I smile against the wind, wishing I could stand out of the window and feel the full force of this moment. Driving for fun has always been one of my favorite things to do. It gets me out of the house, but I don’t have to deal with crowds or mean people who want to ruin my reputation.
“You look happy,” Logan observes.
“I am.” I sigh contentedly as I turn back to face him. “This is the most peaceful I’ve felt in a while.”
“Glad I could help. After all you’ve been through, you deserve a getaway.”
“Exactly. Just some time away with someone I trust who lets me be myself.”
We exchange a knowing smile. We’ve both been that for each other. Logan is my safe place. I shouldn’t have worried about my looks. I should have known automatically that he would accept me no matter what.
“You ready to drive, sweets? I think we should turn back soon if we want to catch the opening ceremony.”
“Yes.” I grin and start bouncing again.
Logan pulls over in a parking lot and we switch places. He hovers over me as I adjust his driver seat and get accustomed to all the bells and whistles. Caressing the leather of the steering wheel with both hands, I take in a deep breath and exhale slowly.
I will not wreck Logan’s brand new car. I will not wreck Logan’s brand new car.
Revving the engine gratuitously, I pull through the parking space and whisk around to get back on the highway. I laugh at the sight of Logan’s pale face when I gun it all the way up to one hundred miles per hour. Driving is something I’m definitely not afraid of. I was driving a John Deere with ease by age twelve and drove the truck long before I was supposed to. However, Logan probably still sees me as an inexperienced teenager who thinks a car like this is a toy. I don’t need to take it easy, but maybe he needs me to.
“I think I’m gonna ralph,” he mutters. His Adam’s apple pulls up and down as he swallows hard, looking out the window.
“Oh, I’m sorry. If you need me to pull over…”
“Nah, I’ll be okay.” He pulls his shades off and clears his throat. “You’re a bit of a risk-taker, aren’t you?”
“What is life without risk?” I taunt him with a self-assured smile.
“It’s risking my life that worries me.”
I cluck like a chicken, teasing him. His piercing green eyes narrow in my direction, but he doesn’t stop me. Instead he leans back in his seat and crosses his bulky arms, giving me a wonderful side view. I take my eyes off the road for a mere two seconds and Logan shouts at me.
“Look out!”
The wheels of the driver’s side had drifted over the line toward the railing in between lanes. I jerk away from the edge of the road with my heart in my stomach. Overcorrecting, I swerve into the lane next to Logan and have to pull back to go straight in our lane. “Sorry. Got distracted.”
“You’re making me regret letting you drive,” he retorts.
I suppress a giggle at his grouchiness. He probably has no idea how adorable he is. For the moment, I’d like to keep it that way. Can’t go pumping up that ego and letting him go off to find someone else, after all.
November 6
First Day of BlizzCon from Home
Logan and I had an amazing time watching BlizzCon today. Dad and Cass even joined us once they saw how cool the new expansion for WoW is going to be. I’m so excited for the new addition to the game. More content equals more time with Logan, which I’m finding myself quickly growing addicted to now that we’re single, available, and I’m completely free to dream about a future relationship with him.
While we watched the conference together, Logan kept his arm perched on the couch behind me. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to lean in or stay upright, so I opted for the latter, especially since I don’t want things to move too fast between us. I felt like an idiot when he showed up to our house in his brand new ‘Vette, fresh-off-the-rack clothes, and sexy shades. I looked like a human turd compared to him. Amazing that he even gave me the time of day after that display, let alone called me “beautiful”…
But alas, he did. Now I’m hopelessly head over heels for him and don’t know what to do about it.
This is way too soon. He just broke up with a serious girlfriend who he almost proposed to. I can’t come in on the tail of that. If I do, I’m no better than a rebound to him. Yet at the same time, I don’t want him to find someone else because I took too long to make my move. I know he’s attracted to me. He’s made it blatantly obvious. It’s just a matter of finding the right time to say something and not scaring him off.
I’m dying to have him now. Gio is almost a distant memory already compared to Logan. I know I wouldn’t have a problem moving from a fake relationship right into a real one. There’s very little chance Logan is ready for that, though.
I hate this. If we had only both been single when we met, I’d be happy right now. No crazy actor next door drama to deal with. No black hole in my heart. No fear of leaving my house because anything I do is going to be analyzed to death by the papar-Nazis…
I hope he doesn’t find someone better than me before I get my nerve up…
Ttyl,
Mads
The next day, Logan and I sit side-by-side alone on the couch while Dad and Cass go to brunch with some friends. The conference is playing, but since it’s a segment neither of us were that excited to watch, we’re doing more talking than watching. Most of our talk is WoW-related—specs, lore, legendary gear—but then the conversation turns to something more personal.
“You seem better today,” Logan says, taking in my spruced-up appearance. This morning, instead of rolling out of bed like I did yesterday, I took a shower, styled my hair in a loose braid, and put on a better lounging outfit. It’s a cute crossover top and yoga pants, and I’m wearing the glasses again to see if Logan meant what he said yesterday or if he was just being nice.
“I feel a little better. Taking care of yourself can really make a difference.”
“How are you holding up after…you know?” He gestures to the house next door with his middle finger.
I join him in the gesture and grin. “I’m doing okay. Every day gets a little easier,” I tell him honestly.
Logan n
ods. “Same for me. I can barely even remember her fugly face anymore.”
That manages to bring a giggle out of me. “Good. Keep it that way.”
“Oh, don’t worry, I will.” He levels his gaze with mine. “I don’t want anything to do with her anymore.”
My face warms. The way he’s looking at me right now reminds me of the way Dad looks at Cass—like she’s the only woman who has walked the surface of this planet. Nothing would thrill me more right now than hearing Logan say he only has eyes for the woman in front of him. That’s too much to hope for, though.
“I don’t want anything to do with him either, or my sister. People who can’t appreciate what they have don’t deserve to keep it,” I declare.
He grins and nods. “Damn straight! We’re too good for them. Especially you…I mean, you basically went head-to-head with two wolves and came out swinging.”
I pretend to flex my arms, bobbing my head like a peacock. “That’s how I roll.”
Logan lets out a deep chuckle and inches closer to me, keeping eye contact all the way. “You’re amazing, sweets.”
My breath hitches when I feel his warmth enter my “safe zone.” There’s a bubble I’ve carefully erected around myself to make sure people keep their distance, but Logan is completely disregarding that right now, and I like it. He smiles into my eyes, and I smile back as our heads pull closer to each other. I’m within kissing distance of him now. I want to just go for it. It won’t be a rebound, just a piece falling into place. I know he’s meant to be with me. My gut is telling me so.
Our foreheads touch, and I know it’s going to happen soon. My eyes are closing and I’m lifting my lips when he adds something that stops me short—
“Best friend I ever had.”
With a dry mouth and a stinging heart, I pull back, facing the TV. Logan’s arm goes around my shoulders, but I ignore it, sitting rod-straight just like Raven always wanted me to.
Best friend. Of course. I don’t know how I could be so blind. He hasn’t been flirting with me because he likes me. He feels comfortable enough with me to say what he wants because I’ve been placed squarely in the friend zone. Why did I think someone as perfect as Logan would ever want me? This is almost as stupid as thinking Giovanni Abate could like me. I’m a total loser. I’m never going to have a real boyfriend. I might as well stop trying.
D.O.R.K. Series Box Set Page 42
