I hear someone approach Raven behind me. “So it’s true? She’s really a virgin?”
“A very reliable source confirmed that for me,” Raven replies in a voice as smooth as snake venom.
“The vir-twin lives!”
Growling under my breath, I speed up my pace again. Frickin’ Liam Wellington…that bully still harasses me for sex on a daily basis. Now he’s going to be twice as insistent.
People crowd me, but I raise an arm and hold it in front of me to shield myself as if I can conjure a force field. I wish I could. I’d keep myself in a bubble for the rest of the semester.
I was close…so close to making it through the rest of the semester without incident. Now it looks like my determination is being tested yet again.
At lunch, Dalton and Devon join Chandler and me at a table outside. Normally I wouldn’t pick a table in Red territory, but everything inside the cafeteria was full. We’re munching on our nachos and minding our own business while Raven sits dangerously close by with her horde of minions. Somehow she’s managed to recruit even more poor souls since I was a part of the group. At times, I honestly miss having that many girls around me. It was nice feeling like I had that many friends. I feel like some of them might still want to be with me instead of her. They keep glancing in my direction, especially Skyler—the pretty doe-eyed girl who alerted Chandler something was up at our Halloween party.
“You wanna kiss me again,” Dalton suddenly whispers in my ear, shattering my thoughts.
My head snaps toward him. “What?”
He waggles his eyebrows at me, grinning. I have to admit, he’s cute, but his offer is not tempting at all, especially when delivered in that goofy, haphazard manner.
“You’re ridiculous, Dalton Jacobs,” I retort. “You don’t like me. You just like seeing me squirm. I had no idea when I met you how insufferable you are.”
“Right?” Devon looks at me across the table like I’m the only other person on the planet who has ever realized how annoying her brother is. “Thank you.”
Placing his hand on my knee, Dalton rubs his thumb in slow circles, mock-seducing me. My eyes burn a hole in his skull.
“Jacobs, I’m warning you—”
“Come on, you like it.”
I snatch my fork from the table and swoop down as if I’m about to stab his hand. He jerks his hand away quickly with an expression of genuine horror.
“Dude! No violence in school. I could get you suspended for that.”
Returning to my nachos, I flash him a self-satisfied smile. “Don’t ever touch me like that again.”
He holds up his hands in surrender. “Got it.”
After that exchange, I notice Raven giving me the same look I just gave Dalton…a look of warning. Suddenly, the idea of flirting with Dalton has its benefits. I try to fight the urge, remembering the promise I gave to Jess. I need to be better. A Daley, not a Redinger. Free from all these petty, fake displays just to get under another person’s skin.
Then again, she did out me as a virgin…again. I suspect she had something to do with Gio’s outburst the first time. Raven has made no move to spare me since we met. Why should I honor her wishes?
I continue fighting my inner war until Dalton waves his large hand in front of my face.
“Hello? Earth to Mads?”
I jerk back to reality. “What? Sorry.”
“I was just asking if you’ve finished that song we started a couple weeks ago. I forgot to ask on Saturday.”
“Oh…” I sigh. “Getting there. You know how slow I am.”
“We need to speed things up a little bit,” he says around a bite of nachos. “It would be good to have a full set prepared before we graduate. We might even get asked to play prom if that happens.”
“Okay, I’ll keep that in mind,” I say with a nod. “I’m trying. You know I am.”
Dalton nods and places a hand on my arm in support as I take a sip of my juice. “I know, and you’re an amazing co-leader.”
Sputtering, I almost lose my sip of juice. I gulp. “Co-leader?”
He glances across the table, notices Devon and Chandler are buried in their own conversation, and leans closer to me to whisper, “Yeah, I was thinking—you sing just as well as me if not better. You’ve got the established name and everything we need, and you write your own songs that have a slightly different style than mine. What if we just…” Dalton holds up his two forefingers side-by-side and raises them up, “co-lead the band? Like swap singing and guitar back and forth?”
I can’t help the smile that bursts onto my face. Guitar is my passion, but I’ve always secretly wanted to be a lead singer too. Now I could have the best of both worlds. Dalton practically read my mind. “Are you serious?”
Grinning wide, he nods. “Yeah. What do you think?”
I shout with glee and throw my arms around his neck, close to tears. Dalton laughs, and we embrace to seal our new partnership. He might be a dickhead sometimes, but I couldn’t pick a better person to co-lead a band with. We are so in sync we can read each other’s minds and we sound like heaven together. What more could you ask for?
“Thank you,” I whisper close to his ear. “This is better than I ever imagined.”
“I’m glad to make you happy, Princess.” He gives me a chaste kiss on the ear and pulls back.
After Dalton and I detach from each other, we look up and see Raven towering over our table with five other girls clustered around her. I pull back as my uterus jumps higher in my abdomen. I hope I’m still able to have kids after this. Raven has that strange effect on me—scaring me so bad even my reproductive organs react.
“What is it, Raven?” I stutter out. Her expression is so grave I’m scared something may have happened to Jess.
“Madison, may I speak with you privately, please?”
I nod slowly and stand from my seat. My friends shoot me looks of worry, but I smile to ease their minds. I’m a big girl. I can handle myself.
Raven pulls me to the side of the building where no one can hear us. We stand facing each other by the wall.
“What is it? Is it Jess? Is she okay?”
“This is not about her,” Raven informs me curtly. If we were in a video game, her eyes would be giving off an icy vapor. Every time I touch Dalton, she gets like this. He’s clearly her kryptonite even though she’s with Gio.
“Well then, what is it?” I demand, impatient.
“I didn’t want to have to do this with our mother in such a fragile state, but if you touch that man again, so help me Lucifer, I will unleash hell’s fury on you.”
My eyes pop wide open. What kind of psycho am I dealing with here? Who threatens their own flesh and blood like this?
“Raven, what is wrong with you?” I finally ask. “You’re with Gio now. Why does it matter if I touch Dalton or not?”
“There are things about him you don’t know,” she says vaguely. “Things about us. You have no right to like him the way I do.”
My chest hollows, pushing all the air out. Never did I expect her to admit that out loud.
“You still like Dalton? I thought you hated him.”
“I do hate him.” Raven struggles against her emotions. “Just stay away from him, or I promise you’ll pay.” Shoving past me, she heads inside to follow her girls without another word.
I return to my seat with a war raging inside my head and heart. No matter how hard Gio tries, it’s clear he can never compare to Dalton in Raven’s eyes. Something must have happened between the two of them long ago. I don’t care what it was…this is my chance to get Raven back. As dirty, evil, and wrong as it feels, I need him to get my revenge on my winter-hearted sister.
“Dalton…” I turn to him, my plea heavy in my eyes. “I need your help.”
Dalton nods, but my throat goes dry and I lose the ability to speak when I try to tell him exactly what I need from him.
No, this is wrong. You love Logan.
Love? Too strong a word.
Maybe like.
Come on Mads, quit lying to yourself.
Okay, fine…but I can’t wait around on him. This is my life. If he doesn’t want to be a deeper part of it, so be it. Without some kind of revenge, I’m going to keep feeling like the scum of the earth. Now is my chance to finally get ahead.
“Come with me.” I grab Dalton’s hand and yank him up in the direction of the café, not even bothering to pick up our trays. My inner voices continue to scream against each other in my head on my way back to my locker, making me seriously question my sanity not for the first time in my life. When we get there, Raven and Gio are whispering to each other and smiling, just like I hoped. I press Dalton against the lockers and look straight up into his wide open hazel eyes.
“Mads, are you—”
“Shh…” I inch closer to him, and his lips twitch with nervousness. “Time for both of us to get what we want.”
Pulling Dalton down by the neck, I fuse my lips to his and lead the kiss, letting whomever wants to watch us as he returns it with gusto. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t feel good, but again…no butterflies. No feelings. Nothing. It’s just a mutual agreement to stick it to Raven as hard as we possibly can. Dalton turns me around and shoves me against the locker to prove his point, making sure Raven knows he didn’t “move on from me” as she so artlessly claimed. Neither of us stop until the hallway clears out, and both of us grin when we discover Raven didn’t stick around to watch.
Dalton holds his hand up in the air for a high five. I slam it with force. “Well done, revenge partner.”
Still breathless from the kiss, I giggle. “A few more rounds of that, and I bet she’ll move on to a new technique. Anything is better than watching her slobber over him every time I turn around.”
I glance to my right and find a pair of green, feminine eyes staring at me with deep hurt buried inside them. Chandler tries to force a smile, but it doesn’t travel further than her mouth.
Aw, shit.
In my wild thirst for revenge, I completely forgot about Chandler.
She turns around to head toward the girls’ bathroom, and I follow her in hot pursuit.
“Chandler! Wait!”
She ducks into the bathroom and doesn’t quite make it to the stall before I grab her arm and pull her back to face me. No one else is in the bathroom with us, so I’m able to speak freely.
“Look. I’m sorry about that—”
“You knew how I felt about him.” Tears build in her eyes but don’t fall. “I denied it, but you knew. How could you turn around and do that?”
“I know…it was a moment of weakness because Raven stabbed me again. I’m so sorry.” I grasp both of Chandler’s hands tightly in mine. “I promise it won’t happen again. I didn’t know you felt this strongly about him.”
Jerking her hand out of mine, she sniffles and wipes her eyes with the back of her hand. “God, this sucks. It’s so humiliating.”
I tuck her hair behind her ear so it won’t get caught on the moisture on her cheeks. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about. Liking someone like him must be hard.”
She nods.
“I swear, never again. Okay?”
Chandler smiles through her tears. “You’re forgiven.” I wrap her in a hug and hold her, grateful for a real friend.
November 16
I’m the Devil
I’m a horrible person. Just because Raven told me to stay away from Dalton, I retaliated by kissing him again in front of her, and I hurt Chandler in the process. Hurting Raven doesn’t give me a slight drop of guilt anymore, but Chandler has never been anything but a loyal friend and supporter. I almost made her hate me because I knew about her feelings for Dalton and I still went ahead and kissed him in front of her.
Is that how far my thirst for revenge is going to take me? Am I a soulless monster now? I want to beat Raven, but if this is the cost that comes at, I’m thinking again. I don’t want to be a Redinger. Their legacy is something I want to stop here, but how can I win this war if I don’t fight back?
Maybe fighting fire with fire isn’t the best approach. There’s got to be some other way. All I want is to end Raven’s dominion over me and this school. I’ve tried it Dalton’s way, I’ve tried it the sneaky way…
Maybe it’s time to try the superhero way.
It’s time to focus on another mission: Mission Takedown. I’m going to usurp Raven’s throne and bring some order and justice to this school. The first thing I need to do is get my girls in order. I already have Devon and Chandler, so now it’s time to hunt down some new recruits.
I’m not so sure I can be a leader anywhere. This life of stardom wasn’t exactly what I had in mind when I came here. However, the one thing I refuse to do is let someone like Raven get the best of me. Strong women don’t let other women trample them to the ground like this. I can fight back without hurting anybody…
Well, anybody except her.
Ttyl,
Mads
Me: Hey, Lo.
Logan takes no time to respond.
Logan: Hey, Sweets! What’s up?
Me: I had a hard day. :(
Logan: Aw :( What happened?
I’m too embarrassed to admit this whole thing happened because his cousin fake-kissed me, so I give the shortened version of it.
Me: Evil twin and friend problems.
Logan: Damn. It’s one of my nights off. Wanna come over and smoke a blunt?
I consider it for half a second.
Me: It’s a school night. Dad won’t let me off the premises.
Logan: Oh, right. Man…guess we’ll have to wait until Saturday then.
Me: That’s a long time.
Logan: I know. But come Saturday night, it’ll be just you and me :) I got so lucky not working on Saturday nights.
Me: Hell yeah you did lol.
Logan: Virtual hugs coming your way.
Me: *hugs back* Thanks.
Logan: I wish I could be there to deliver them in person.
Me: Me too. :(
Logan: Can you play WoW?
Me: I got my homework done, so yeah.
Logan: Meet you there in ten?
Me: Okay.
I hop over to my desk to turn on my desktop and slide my headphones on. Really, the biggest thing depressing me right now is that I can’t actually get a Logan hug. Dalton and Logan hug the same way, but Logan’s hugs feel different. They transfer a special warmth to me that no one else can give.
If his hugs are that powerful, I can only imagine how his lips on mine would feel…
I rattle my head. That’s a thought process I can’t afford to finish right now.
Still, it’s tempting…
“Hey, beautiful!” His deep voice on the other end of the line interrupts my thoughts.
“Hey,” I reply.
“Wow, you do sound depressed,” he comments. “Are they bothering you that much?”
“Raven was cruel to me yet again today. She outed me as a virgin in front of the whole school. Now everyone knows my ‘big secret.’” I use air quotes even though he can’t see it.
A growl escapes his throat. “That little—” He uses a word that would even make Cass blush.
“Yep…”
“Targeting her own sister like this…that’s a special kind of evil.”
“I agree.”
“How are you feeling? Do you want me to come over there?”
I smile. Now that’s a tempting offer. “I wish you could, but Dad says no visitors on school nights, either.”
“Wow. He’s serious about this ‘school nights’ thing.”
“Tell me about it. I think he’s purging years of not being able to say that because of homeschooling.”
Logan’s delicious laugh resounds over my headset, melting and breaking my heart. I love making him laugh. I wish I was the only girl who got him to laugh this way.
“Your dad is awesome. I wish I had one like him.”
I can’t help but s
mile. “Yeah, he is pretty great. I’m glad I have one family member with his head screwed on straight.”
“How else would he have produced such an amazing daughter?”
A blush creeps up my neck. “Thanks. You’re too kind.”
“No, I’m not. You’re awesome.”
I scrunch my face up with embarrassment. “Stop. You’re making me shy.”
“I like it when you’re shy. You get all pink and rosy.”
I clamp my hands over my cheeks. “Stop.”
“And you cover your face, thinking that will help, but it just makes you blush even redder,” Logan continues with a grin in his voice.
“Ugh…”
“Don’t be embarrassed of yourself though, sweets. You’re adorable. Own that. It’s a rarity in a world like this to find a nice, shy girl who doesn’t think too much of herself.”
Lowering my hands, I relax. “I guess you’re right about that. Thanks, Lo.”
“I like your nickname for me, by the way.”
“It suits you. You make me feel better when I’m feeling low. Your voice is low. Your IQ is—”
“Hey!” His outraged protest is ironically squeaky and high-pitched.
I die laughing. “Just kidding, I swear.”
“You’re mean.” I can hear him pouting over the headset.
“Yeah, but you love me,” I counter.
I hear tenderness enter his voice when he replies, “You bet I do.”
On Saturday, our band practice is all out of whack. It’s one of those days when no one’s heart is in it and nothing seems to flow right. My guitar won’t stay in tune, Logan’s beats are off—which never happens—and Dalton seems to have some form of laryngitis coming on, because his voice sounds weird. After about forty-five minutes, Max tells us all to go home because he can’t stand listening to our screeching anymore. We all reluctantly agree.
On the way out, Logan grins at me over his shoulder, and I return the smile. Finally, after a long three weeks, we’re going to be alone together. I know nothing’s going to happen between us, but I’m still excited to have him all to myself. He’s spending Saturday night with me instead of out on a date. That at least means he hasn’t found someone else yet. I still have a chance to convince him I’m the one for him, maybe. If my confidence would ever kick in, that is.
D.O.R.K. Series Box Set Page 45
