She smiled at me over the pure flame of her soul.
I was a coward. You will see him, I told her.
I pressed her soul into my breast. The moment the light filled me I became her. I could see my body through her eyes—translucent white torso marred by jagged tears, blood red hair tossed up by the smoky vents and tangling about the worms, black eyes wide, lips parted in ecstasy.
I could see him in the back of her mind, the object of her affection. He was tall and angular, with sealskin hair. There had been a storm and a wreck, and she had saved him. She had dragged him onto a beach and fallen in love with him as she waited for him to open his eyes. She had run her fingers through his hair, touched his face, traced the lines of the crest upon his clothes. He was handsome and different and beautiful. When he awoke, he took her hand in his and smiled with all his heart. And when he kissed her, she knew she would never be able to live a life without him.
In that small moment, as the glow of her soul dimmed into me, her thoughts echoed inside me.
She told herself it was worth it.
Once the transformation began, the pain pushed all other thoughts out of her head. Water left her as suddenly as her soul had left her, her gills closing up after it. The pressure that filled her chest made her eyes want to pop out. She clamped her mouth shut, instinct telling her that she could no longer breathe her native water. She beat furiously with her tail, fleeing for the surface.
Halfway there, the other pain began. It started at the ends of her fin and spread upwards, like bathing in an oyster garden. The sharpness bit into her, skinning her, slicing her to her very core. Paralyzed, she let her momentum and the pressure in her chest pull her closer to the sky. Part of her hoped she could trust the magic enough to see her to the surface alive. Part of her didn’t care. It wished to die, and knew it could not.
That price had already been paid.
Her head burst above the waves and she opened her mouth, letting the rest of the water inside her escape. Her first deep breath of insubstantial air was like a lungful of jellyfish. It was different from the shallow amphibious breathing she had done before, different when this was her only option. She coughed, her upper half now as much in agony as her lower half, not wanting to take that next breath and knowing that she had to.
She lay there on the undulating bed that was once her home and let it heal her. She stared up at the sky until it didn’t hurt so much to breathe, until her eyes adjusted, until rough hands plucked her out of the sea.
She was dragged across the deck of a ship much like the one from which she had rescued her lover, right before it had been crushed between the rocks and the sea. The man who had pulled her up clasped her tightly to him. He was covered in hair, more hair than she had ever seen in her life, and in the strangest places. It did not reach the top of his head, but spread down his face and neck and onto his chest. Perhaps it liked this upper world as little as she did and sought a safer, darker haven beneath his clothes. She reached out a hand to touch it, and he spoke to her. The sounds were too high, too light, too short, too loud. She did not understand them. His breath smelled of sardines. She ran a finger through the hair on his face, and he dropped her.
She could not stand. Misery shot through her and she collapsed on the deck. Her hair spilled around her . . . and her legs. She stared at her new skin. It looked so calm and innocent, but every nerve screamed beneath it. Another man stood before her now, wearing more clothes than the hairy man, and he had shiny things on his ears and around his neck. His bellow was deeper than the first man’s, but still as coarse and spiny, and still foreign to her. He crouched down before her and brushed her hair back from her face. He cooed at her. She touched the bright thing around his neck that twinkled the sun at her, and he grinned. His teeth were flat. She wasn’t threatened. Braver now, she pulled at the necklace. He let her slide it over his head and put it around her own neck.
He picked her up and carried her to a place that hid her from the sky and set her somewhere softer than the deck. He made light for her out of nothing, a red-orange glow that topped a lumpy white mass. He was doing magic to impress her. She liked this place and this man who worshipped her. He had given her a gift, and now he would take care of her. If only there was a way she could tell him why she was there. She was sure he would help her. Perhaps he could see into her heart and just know.
The man removed his shirt, and she relaxed even more. He wanted to put her at ease. By looking like her, he would make her feel like she belonged. He took off the rest of his clothes and came up beside her. He patted her head, ran his hands down her hair. He touched her new skin. Still sensitive, she brushed his hand away. He put it back. She tried to push it away again, but he was stronger. She frowned. He smiled all those flat teeth at her once more. She wondered if she might have been mistaken. He moved to cover her body with his.
The misery she had felt before was nothing in comparison. She inhaled the excruciating air and screamed a hoarse cry. She clawed at him, pushed at his weight on top of her, but she could not move him. Agony ripped her body apart again. A tingling sensation washed over her and the light in her eyes began to dim.
Somewhere in that darkness, through the pain, she could feel his heartbeat. The emptiness in her cried out. He had something she needed.
She reached up, pulled him to her, and sunk her pointed teeth deep into the skin of his neck. She drank him down, consuming his soul, filling the barren places inside her. He collapsed on top of her and still she drank, until there was nothing left.
The door burst open and the hairy man entered. He pulled the naked man off of her. She knew he would be able to tell what the man had done from the blood between her legs. And he would be able to tell what she had done from the blood she now licked from her lips.
“Siren,” he whispered.
She gasped. In her brain there was an avalanche.
Words flooded her, images and thoughts, smells and sounds. Knowledge. She knew what it was like to love a woman and kill a man. She knew fire and rain. She knew how to sail a ship, this ship, and she knew the names of every man on the crew. She cried out again and slapped her palms to her head. She had taken the man’s soul, and his life right along with it. She watched as the shafts of her golden hair turned deep red, filled with the captain’s blood.
The first mate had named her. He knew what she was. She was death, the shark, the thing to be afraid of. She lured men to their graves with her beauty.
In one swift motion he pulled the knife from his belt. She did not flinch as he approached her. There was nothing left to fear.
The knife swept down and split the captain’s throat open, hiding the teethmarks in the cut. He stared deep into her eyes as he pulled a large ruby ring off the dead man’s finger and put it on his own. The knife, streaked with what little crimson was left in the captain’s body, he brandished at the crowd of men gathered at the door.
“Eddie Lawless, what’s goin’ on?” the man in front asked. The men behind him whispered low, words like “magic” and “evil” and “witch” catching in her ears.
“It’s Lawson, Cooky,” the hairy man responded. “Captain Lawson. And don’t you forget it.”
“Yessir,” the men mumbled. “Yessir, Cap’n.”
“Leave me,” Lawson ordered.
“But sir, what about Cap’n—”
“i am the captain,” he told them. “You can collect the carcass later. Leave me now.” He slammed the door in their faces.
The mattress shifted under his weight as he sat down across from her. She did not want to look at him, concentrating instead on the ends of her new hair and the line across the dead man’s throat.
Lawson shoved the body onto the floor. “Siren.”
She looked up.
“So. You can understand me then?”
She nodded once.
“Good.” He pulled the sheet down and wiped his knife blade with it. “Understand this. I know what you are, what you need and what yo
u do. If you do exactly as I tell you, I won’t kill you.”
If she had known how to laugh, she would have. It was unsettling. She knew what laughter was, what caused it and why someone did it, but she didn’t have the slightest idea of how to make her body perform such a feat. It was the same with the words—she could understand them, but she couldn’t get her tongue around them and speak back. She would have laughed at the thought of this man killing her, for she would have welcomed death. But there was one task she had to accomplish before that happened. She had to find her lover.
She nodded her head once more.
“Excellent.” He left the bed and went to open a trunk on the other side of the room. He rummaged through it for a moment, and then tossed a bundle of burgundy material into her lap. She stared at it, marveling in the slight difference between it and the color of her hair. She reached out and stroked its softness, drawing patterns on it with her finger.
His chuckle brought her out of her state. “You have no idea what to do with it, do you?” He took her by the hand and gently eased her off the bed. “Come on, stand up.”
She placed one foot flat on the floor, then the other. Then she pushed up with all her might, locking her knees and propelling herself forward into him.
He caught her before she hit the floor. “Whoa. Easy. You have to get your sea legs.” He helped her balance enough to stay upright. Surprisingly, her feet held her without too much trouble.
“Now,” he said, grabbing the bundle off the bed, “you’re lucky I have a daughter and I’m used to doing this.” He spun her around so that she faced the wall. “Six years ago I only knew how to undress a woman.” He pulled her hands up above her head and eased the material down around her. He moved her hair to one side so he could button up the back.
“There.” He turned her back around. “It’s a bit large and it’ll probably be a tad warm. But it’ll keep the sun off you, and the . . . my . . . men away from temptation.” He looked her up and down. “Not that they’ll need much warning, mind. But you get enough rum into a man . . . well . . . stranger things have happened.”
He looked down at the former captain’s body. “You won’t need to . . . eat . . . again for a while then?”
She shook her head.
“Right. Best if you only do it when I tell you.” He shoved the knife back into his belt.
Her eyes widened.
“Oh, don’t worry,” he chuckled. “You’re aboard a pirate ship, darlin’. If there’s one thing we’ve always got more than our share of, it’s blood.”
They encountered a ship three days later. From her sanctuary she heard blasts from cannons spread amidst the cries of men. She lost her footing when the ship lurched sideways, hooks pulling the losing ship close enough so that men might cross over. She peeked through the windows at the smoke of the guns, swords clashing as the blood flew.
Lawson came back to her room when the battle had died down. He opened the door and threw a man at her feet. His clothes were ripped and his face was a bloody mess. Gray eyes looked up at her from the red-stained face and filled with terror.
“No . . . oh, God, no” were the last words he spoke.
His fear was intoxicating.
She closed her eyes when she was finished and let the magic wash over her. She felt the pain this man had in the pit of his stomach. She felt his broken arm and nose. She felt the love he had for his young wife and small child. She knew his favorite food was strawberries. It wasn’t just the blood she craved; it was everything. She needed the senses and the psyche, the emotions and the pain, the good and the bad. She needed his life, his soul.
Rejuvenated, she tossed her hair back and peered up at Lawson. He cupped her cheek and wiped a spot of blood away from the corner of her mouth. “That’s my girl.” He threw open the door and kicked the man’s body over the threshold. “There’s your captain, men,” he declared, eyeing each member of the newly vanquished crew. “Seems he got into a spot of trouble. Any of you want the same trouble, just cross me.”
Crews were mixed and supplies were stolen, and then they were off in search of the next victim.
The second ship burned. It was spectacular. She ran to the railing and held her hand out to the beautiful, live thing that danced on the sea as it consumed sails and timbers and bodies alike. She had seen candles and lamps in life and in memory, but this was a beast, wild and hot and bright as the sun. Hands grabbed at her clothes to keep her from falling over the rail, and they pinned her down when the magazine finally exploded, taking the rest of that ship’s crew with it.
On the third one, she found him.
The battle this time was a long one, and by the time Lawson brought her the captain of the other ship, he was half dead. She drank him anyway. And somewhere in the memories of this man was the someone she had been looking for.
She gasped when his face came to her. She drew back, her teeth disengaging from her meal, blood running down her chin and staining her dress. This man knew her lover. Not well, but he knew him. She tried to make sense of the jumble of images that flowed through her, but nothing connected. She searched his body for a sign, a hint, something. She found it on the smallest ring he wore, a gold band stamped with the crest she had traced over and over on the beach that day.
When Lawson returned, she pointed at herself and then held up the ring. He smiled and patted her on the head. “Of course you can keep it, darlin’. You can have all the trinkets your little heart desires.”
He didn’t understand. How would she make him understand? She slid the ring over her red-tipped thumb. She would save it until she thought of a way.
The fourth ship was a long time coming.
She spent most of that time at the bow. Lawson called her their figurehead. It was an apt description, based on what she had seen on the prows of other ships. She would lean against the rail, arms spread, red hair trailing behind her in the breeze. She liked letting the wind slip through her fingers. It reminded her of home. The currents of air were not that different from the currents of water. Men did not have the freedom of movement that her kind enjoyed, but the principles were the same. They walked among it, breathed it in, let it give them life. It brought sounds and smells to them. They did not see it or think to taste it, but it was always there inside them, touching them, surrounding them.
She stood there, day after day, until the salt encrusted her lips and her hair was a faded orange. What little red appeared in the tips of her fingers had been burned there by the sun. The men avoided her and prayed hard for another ship. They tread lightly around the captain. No one wanted to be the Siren’s next meal.
Lawson finally bade her return to the stateroom, and she was too weak to disobey. The table was covered in maps and charts. She walked past them on the way to the bed and glanced down at the area Lawson was plotting. A symbol caught her eye, and she jumped back. She waved at Lawson. She pointed to herself, and to the ring around her thumb. She pointed to herself, and to the same symbol down on the map.
“There?” he asked her. “You want to go there? Why?”
She could not answer, so she just kept pointing to herself and the map.
“That’s home,” Lawson told her. “Where Molly is. I promised never to go back until I had a ship full of riches. She deserves no less.” He shook his head. “No, darlin’, we can’t go there. Not yet.”
Frustrated, she closed her eyes. Disjointed thought-flashes skipped through her mind. She tried to remember the man with the ring, tried to bring his soul to the surface. But it had been so long, and she was so weary . . . and there was a port . . .
Her eyes snapped open. She moved her finger on the map to an island just off the coast of the country bearing her lover’s symbol. She pointed at Lawson, and then stamped her finger back down on the map.
“Windy Port? What’s there?”
She threw her hands up in exasperation and scanned the room. She held up the medallion of her necklace to him.
“Gold?”
/>
She nodded and kept searching. She found his knife on the table, picked it up, and then shook her head.
“Swords?”
She shook her head again.
“This?” He removed the pistol from his belt and held it out to her. She nodded emphatically.
He cocked his head and grinned. “Siren, if you’re right about this, I’ll take you anywhere in the world.” He strode out of the room and hollered to his first mate. “Hard to port, Matey!”
“Cap’n?” the first mate asked.
Lawson hooked his thumbs in his belt. “We’re going home.”
The moment Lawson set her down on the dock at Windy Port, she fell. The hollowness inside her throbbed. She could not believe anything could have been so still as land. There was no life in it. The air was not strong enough to keep it fluid. It was rock. Still, empty, dead rock. She was but a shell, a humble reconstruction of the world upon which man walked every single day. How did they survive without a connection? She hugged her stomach, doubled up and gagged, only emptiness escaping her dry heaves.
“You okay, honey? Take it easy. It’ll pass soon.”
The words spoken to her had a cadence she had never heard before, and it surprised her so much she didn’t understand them at first. The hands that pulled her hair back away from her face were small and delicate. The woman had on a black dress. Her hair was pinned up on her head and decorated with shiny black beads. She smelled . . . soft and nice. And she was gentle when she accepted the Siren’s embrace.
“It’s all right,” the woman said as she patted her back. “Everything’s going to be all right.” She barely screamed when pointed teeth pierced her flesh.
Everything was going to be just fine.
Suddenly conscious of her appearance, she pulled her dress over her head and began tearing at the woman’s clothes. Lawson knelt beside her and motioned for his men to surround them so as not to draw attention to the scene. “Discovered vanity, have we?” he chuckled as he helped her undress the woman’s corpse. Once she had changed, the men weighted the body and rolled it into the ocean.
InterGalactic Medicine Show Awards Anthology, Vol. I Page 20
