by Riley, Alexa
Bill sighs and shrugs his shoulder. “She sent me a text last night saying she’ll let me know. Oh well. At some point I have to let her live her life. Right?”
I give him a tight smile and change over to work talk. It’s the last thing on my mind, but I can’t walk out of his office having only talked about Felicity. I need to stay under the radar with him and hide my feelings for her until I can come up with a way of talking to her.
I go back to my office and kick myself for the workload I have lying before me. I have so much I need to be doing, but all I can think about is making a trip to England. We have consultants there, and I could use it as an excuse to pop in, but would it be obvious to Bill? Maybe I’m being paranoid, but I need to see her. I need to find a way to talk to her.
Just as I’m about to book a flight, I get an email detailing a long list of problems with one of our projects here in New York. It’s the kind of shit I will have to deal with myself and will keep my ass firmly planted in the Big Apple for quite a few weeks.
Handling as much as I can while I’m in the office, I work until the sun is long set and the moon is telling me to get my ass home. It’s dark by the time I walk into my penthouse, and the feeling I’ve been trying to avoid all day creeps in.
Felicity.
I go to my room and strip off my clothes, climbing into the cool sheets. I grab my phone and see what I can find on social media. Anything. A girl her age has to have Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. Right?
Wrong. She’s nowhere to be found. I find an old account, but it only has a single picture on it, and it’s long since been forgotten, without so much as one post.
I decide to dig deeper and look into her college orchestra’s social media. There, I luck out and find a scrap of information. It lists names and dates for some of their social outings, but I don’t see Felicity's name mentioned on them. When I click through some of the classroom pictures, I catch a few glimpses of her in the back. At least knowing where she is eases some of the pain. Knowing that she’s safe is better than not knowing anything.
After my search through her school, I look up one of my contacts who’s done some work for me in the past. I make a quick phone call across the pond to Edward Odom and have him find out all he can on Felicity. I need someone to get eyes on her, and I need it starting yesterday.
Once I finish our quick chat and explain what I need, I lie back in bed and think of her.
It’s all I can seem to do lately, so it’s not difficult. The hard part comes when my cock won’t stop aching for her, no matter how many times I rub one out. I’ve jerked off so many times, my own cock is bored with me. I hadn’t jerked off in years, just choosing to do without. I’m not like most men, with an irresistible need to get off. When I came, I liked there to be someone with me. But the someone I want most isn’t here, and my cock doesn’t seem to understand that.
Reaching down under the sheet, I take myself in my hand and begin to rub. It’s nothing like the feel of her velvety cunt wrapped around it, but I try to pretend. I think about how good it felt to get inside her and how badly I want to do it again.
When I’d woken up the next morning, I was so angry with myself. I’d fallen on top of her so easily, and I was so jealous of every man who had ever done that before me. I’d made myself sick to my stomach thinking of all the men she might have let touch her precious body after I left that day. Thinking about someone else’s hand on her. I didn’t care if she’d slept with ten thousand men before me, I just couldn't stand the thought of someone else getting to do it when I was gone.
I threw hateful things at her that morning, and I needed to make it right. I needed to explain why I was upset. I needed to tell her that all the things I felt that morning hit me hard, things I hadn’t felt in years, things I’d never felt at all. I wasn’t just going to slip from her life and be another man lying at her feet when she was finished. I was going to stand with her forever, and she needed to get used to the idea. Everyone did.
I will make Felicity understand, and I’ll make her father understand, too. I’m not going anywhere, and she can just deal with it.
I fist my cock roughly, punishing myself for letting her go so easily. One she’s in my grasp again, she won’t be able to get away. I’ll make damn sure of that.
Looking over to the chair beside the bed, I see the sheet folded neatly with the small red stain on top. The sight of her virgin blood and knowing I got her cherry first makes me cum all over my hand and stomach. The knowledge that though she may not have been saving it for me, I still got it just the same makes me crazy. Her hymen was mine, and I’ll keep that sheet as a badge of victory.
Maybe I should have taken her more gently since it was her first time. But as I wipe up my cum, I can’t imagine having her any other way. She was so responsive and so needy under me, and remembering the details makes my cock swell again.
* * *
I make it through the next few months, and before I know it, it’s May. Most of the time I feel like a zombie, just walking around like a shell of a man. I get updates from Edward weekly on Felicity, but nothing has changed. She didn't come home for spring break, and I’m starting to get worried. Edward tells me she’s a loner and doesn’t participate in much beyond her music. I take that as a good sign though, because if she’s still playing, then there is still light inside of her.
I found her email address and have been sending her an email every day. The ones in the beginning were apologies, but after a month of that, I moved on to telling her about our future. The plans I want to make, the things I want to do with her, if only she’ll hear me out. She hasn’t responded to any of them, and I’m beginning to come to the end of my rope.
A form lands on my desk that needs my attention, and I see that there’s a note attached. It says that it needs to be taken care of before the end of the week because our corporate attorney will be out of town.
Bill is a hard worker, taking about as much time off as I do, which is basically zero. So seeing the note makes me wonder what’s going on. I walk out of my office and make my way over to his and knock on his open door.
“Bill, you have a second?” I try to ask casually, though my heart is beating a mile a minute.
“Sure, Calder. Everything okay?”
“I just saw that you wouldn’t be here next week. Going on a vacation?”
He smiles, and I know right away it’s to see Felicity. “I’m going to my daughter’s graduation. She hasn’t been home in a while, and I kind of got the impression she was avoiding me.” He looks away and shrugs his shoulders before smiling back at me again. “But I’m not missing her graduation for the world.”
“What a coincidence. I’ve got business I need to tend to in the UK next week as well.”
The words fall out of my mouth before I can think about what I’m saying. All I know is that I need to be there, too.
“Oh, really? That’s great. Maybe we can meet up for a drink.”
“I’m sure I’ll be seeing you,” I mumble as I exit his office.
Before my office door has fully shut behind me, I’m booking a flight. I’ve waited long enough to see her, and this is the opportunity I need. It will be perfect. She’ll have her graduation, and I will convince her to give me a chance. What could possibly go wrong?
Chapter Seven
Felicity
I look down at my phone, my hands shaking, as I stand outside of the auditorium. The graduation ceremony has just ended, and crowds of people mingle and celebrate all around me. Everyone is happy to see their families. Me? Panic has now set in.
Dad: Surprise, sweetheart! You looked wonderful walking across that stage.
“What’s the matter?” Mark asks from beside me, taking off his graduation hat. We’d gone to graduation together. His parents couldn’t make it. Off on some trip or something. He didn't seem too torn up about it. He avoided them like I had been avoiding my father for the past few months. We just did it for different reasons. He couldn’t
stand his family. I just wasn’t ready to face mine. To be honest, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be ready to face my dad.
What is he doing here? I hadn’t even told him when the graduation was. Not that it would have been hard for him to find out. I look down at my gown, happy the thing is too big to show anything.
“My dad’s here,” I confess. I can hear the panic in my voice. I’m so not ready for this. I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready for this.
“Shit.” He looks down at my gown like I did moments ago. “You can’t really tell,” he tries to reassure me. I told Mark what happened. Kind of. That I slept with someone over Christmas break and I had a little surprise from it. One that has been making itself known lately. My belly can’t seem to stop growing. I swear, one day there was nothing and now there’s a baby bump that is impossible to hide.
I just shake my head. “What am I going to do?” I moan. I’ve had months to try to come up with something, anything, and still nothing. Avoiding had been my game plan, but it looks like that plan is over.
“Sweetheart.” My dad’s voice makes me jump, and I turn to see him standing next to his administrative assistant, Becky. She gives me a beaming smile, looking elegant and classy in a pair of white slacks and a dark blue blouse. She always looks so put together, never a hair out of place, but warm and welcoming at the same time.
My dad eyes me suspiciously.
“Sorry, you scared me.” It’s only a half lie because he did indeed scare me.
Mark puts his arm around me and pulls me close. I glance up at him. He’s tall compared to me, almost as tall as Calder, but he’s leaner. I might even call him thin. He winks at me. I have no idea what he’s doing, but the comfort is nice, because I feel like I could pass out. I can actually hear my heart beating hard in my chest.
God, I don’t want to tell him. Even less so after hearing what my father said to Calder. Just like her mother. I don’t think I can bear the look he’ll give me. I’ve never once seen disappointment on my father’s face, and it’s something I never want to see.
“Ah, Dad, this is Mark. Mark this is my dad, Bill, and his assistant, Becky.” Mark holds his hand out, taking my Dad’s. Then he shakes Becky’s next.
“I’m so proud of you.” My dad reaches out, grabbing a hold of me and trying to bring me in for a hug. I do the awkward lean-in hug so most of my body doesn't touch him. When I pull back, he studies me again. He knows something’s up. I can see it all over his face. He just hasn't put it together yet. Well, I don’t think he has. You never know with him. My dad is normally three steps ahead of most people.
“Let’s go to dinner. Talk about your plans. Did you get those apartment listings I sent you? The ones in my building? You didn’t respond. Unless you were just thinking about coming home. In that case—”
“Dad, slow down. I’m not even sure I know what I’m doing. I still have a few things I want to figure out.”
“Like what?” he asks, cutting right to the point.
“Dinner. Let’s talk about it over dinner,” I stall, wanting more time. Needing more time. At least to get my bearings back.
“Okay. I’m staying at the Varsity Hotel. They have a nice restaurant there. Seven?”
“Sounds good,” I confirm, already trying to think of a way to get out of it.
“Should I make it for four?” He raises his eyebrows, looking over at Mark.
“That’d be great,” Mark confirms.
I just stand there like a fish, mouth opening and closing in shock. My dad leans in, kissing me on the cheek before whispering in my ear. “Be there, or I will track you down.” Then he turns and makes his way through the crowd, disappearing from sight. He knew I was going to try to cancel. He definitely knows something is up, and he won't stop tonight until he knows what it is.
“Just tell him,” Mark says. I shake my head and start to make my way through the crowd as well, wanting out of here. There are too many people. It makes me uncomfortable. Mark follows behind me in the direction of my dorm room.
“Come on. I’ll go with you. You have to tell him eventually. All you’re doing is making yourself sick. It’s going to come out one way or another.”
I know he’s right. I freaking aced my last semester. But it was only because if I didn’t have my nose inside a book, all I would do is obsess about Calder. I could barely lie down and sleep because every night he’d come popping back into my mind, his hurtful words playing over and over in my head. They just wouldn’t stop. I’d starting reading my school books until I’d pass out.
“You know. I was serious when I said I’d marry you. I think we’d be good together.”
I glance over at him. He just holds up his hands. “I know, I know,” he says with a smile on his face, not seeming upset by my clear refusal. He’d offered when I first told him I was pregnant and had a little bit of a meltdown on him. It was sweet that he’d do that. I don’t love him like that and I know he doesn’t love me either.
Mark just has a shitty family and wants his own. I think he thinks I’m a quick way to get that. The closest we’ve ever gotten was that almost-kiss nearly a year ago, something he never tried to repeat. We’ve both settled into a solid friendship that I love so much I’m debating staying here in the UK.
He has a townhouse here and offered me a room if I wanted to put off going back to the States to face my father. I’d been toying with the idea of just kind of showing up with the baby. Look, Dad, see what I have! It might be hard for him to be so upset with a cute, squishy, little baby in my arms.
As for Calder, I have no idea how I’ll tell him. I’ve often wondered if I even should with how he acted about being married. If he felt that way about marriage, I can’t see him wanting to have kids. But it would be so wrong to keep it from him. Maybe if I opened by telling him I'm letting him off the hook, he’d be more accepting. I push those thoughts to the side. I need to focus on my dad first.
When we make it back to my dorm room, I let us both in. Mark closes the door behind us and I pull off my graduation gown, tossing it on my bed, and look at my baby bump.
“Maybe if I wear something baggy, I can cover it up tonight. I think I have—” Suddenly, the door explodes in, hitting the wall with a bang that makes Mark and me both jump.
Calder stands in the doorway with a look I’ve seen before. He’s pissed. His anger floods the room. I take a step back, then another. Mark goes to stand in front of me.
“Get the fuck out,” Calder growls in a low deadly tone, sending chills up my spine.
“I’m not going anywhere. Who the hell are you?” Mark fires back.
I look around Mark to see Calder step into the room, using his foot to kick the door closed behind him, shutting the three of us in together.
“Who am I? Who the fuck are you, and why are you in her room?”
“He’s my fiancé,” I half-shout, trying to push my way past Mark, my anger egging me on. For some reason I want to make him madder, jealous even. Make him feel a slice of what I’ve been feeling these past few months. I want to get in his face and scream. All out of character for me, but he does this to me. Has me doing things I’d never thought I’d do. Like let a man I barely knew sneak into my bed and take my virginity. I can’t believe he’s here, bursting into my room and asking questions that are none of his business.
Calder is across the room in two giant steps, grabbing Mark by the collar of his graduation gown, and thrusting him against the wall. I grab a hold of Calder, trying to pull him off Mark before he hurts him. They might almost be the same size, but it’s safe to say Calder still has a good fifty pounds of solid muscle on Mark.
“Please stop. Don’t hurt him,” I beg, regretting making up the lie and pulling Mark into my own mess.
Mark grunts and pushes against Calder, who doesn’t move even an inch. I pull harder on him, but nothing. He’s like a freaking boulder.
“Tell him you’re not marrying him, Felicity.” Calder doesn’t even look at me when he says the
words right in Mark’s face. His deep and heavy breathing reminds me of a bull ready to charge.
“I’m not marrying him,” I confirm, but he still doesn’t let him go.
“Now tell him to leave.”
“Mark, can you please give Calder and me a moment?”
“No fucking way. I’m not leaving you with him. He could hurt you.”
“I’d never fucking hurt her,” Calder fires back.
“If you are who I think you are, then it’s too fucking late. She’s been hurting for months.” Mark’s voice is calm, but the room goes deathly quiet. Calder slowly lets him go, and I see what might be pain flash in Calder’s eyes.
“Mark. Please. I really should talk to him. Then I’m going to go to dinner with my father.” I just need to get this over with. Mark is right. I’ve been making myself sick over this whole mess. I need to come clean.
“You want me to go with you?” he asks. Calder goes to grab him again, but I snatch his arm away in time. He actually stops at my touch.
“No, I need to do this, but thank you. I’ll be fine.”
“All right. Call me if you need anything.”
“She won’t,” Calder bites out.
Mark just shakes his head and leaves the room.
“Your fiancé,” Calder spits the word like it’s disgusting, “so easily left you here with another man.”
I feel my face flush. I still can’t wrap my mind around the fact that he’s here, standing in my dorm room. Why now?
“What are you doing here?”
“We’re getting married.” Calder looks down at me, his eyes hard. His voice is firm. It’s probably the same tone he uses to command his company. A do-it-or-else voice. He looks tired though. I can tell by his eyes he hasn’t slept in days. Even his suit looks like it’s been slept in. His hair is messy and his sleeves are rolled up, showcasing his tattoos.
“Who told you?” He has to know. Why else would he show up here demanding I marry him? I won’t do it. I won’t marry a man who doesn’t love me. I don’t have it in me, no matter how tempting the offer is. No matter how many times over the last month I’ve dreamed about him showing up and telling me he made a mistake and begging me to give him another chance.
