by J. , Lea
“Huh, I have no idea what Noah and Ryder see in you. The whole campus is talking about your little incident.” What? How? … Oh, the coffee shop… I knew we’d attract too much attention. “Leave Ryder alone. He’s mine.” She says and I raise an eyebrow.
“Last I heard you two broke up, so he’s not yours. Besides, he’s not anybody’s property, and if you want to know, there’s nothing going on between us.”
“He’ll change his mind soon, he can’t stay away from me long. It’s just how we are. He can’t resist me. Huh, who could? Look at me, and then look at you.” She puts a hand on her hip, watching me. Britney and Scarlett are still silent. “Truth be told, you wouldn’t be anything more to him than a quick lay, and I’m a keeper. You’ll see how sorry he’ll be he left me, and he’ll come crawling back in no time. It’s just a matter of time.” She replies and laughs out loud. I shake my head, waving my hand.
“Whatever you say,” I respond and go past them. It’s like being in high school again. A bunch of brats, really. Sighing, I head home—I wouldn’t be able to concentrate enough in classes anyway, my mind is a million miles away.
I’m sorting through my clothes in the middle of the room. It’s about time I go to the laundromat. I stuff some underwear, three T-shirts, two pairs of pants and jogging clothes in a bag. As I pick up a pair of jeans to put in, the memory card falls out of the pocket. I bend to pick it up. I totally forgot about it when I put it in the pocket. I said I was going to check if there’s anything on it, but I didn’t have time yet. I put it on my nightstand and find the laptop Addison said I can borrow anytime I need it. Carefully turning it on, I put it on my bed while I stuff some more clothes in the bag. Once everything is ready, I take the memory card, sit on the bed with my back to the wall, put the laptop on my thighs and insert the card. It takes a while for the footage to load. Once it opens, the first thing I see is Hope, smiling at the camera and grabbing a microphone. This footage is about six months old—I remember singing this song very well. First notes of the song Someone Like You by Adele start playing on the speakers. Hope was Adele’s biggest fan and sang her songs the most. I am overwhelmed by emotions – the memory of Hope is still fresh in my mind. A tear rolls down my face. A tear which holds a lot of emotions, sadness and happy moments I spent with her. She was my anchor, my support when times were difficult and I didn’t know what to do. Now all of this is gone—the security, the trust we shared. I wipe the tears that now stream uncontrollably down my cheeks. Hope is joyfully singing Adele’s lyrics about time passing quickly, reminiscing about a failed relationship, hoping to find happiness and wishing him the best.
With my eyes closed, I listen to Hope singing, accompanied by me as a back-up vocal. The song comes to an end, and Hope turns to the camera.
“Aaliyah, that was awesome. We’re getting better and better.” Opening my eyes, I simply watch her, her smile, and in her blue eyes I see myself and her desire for life. Desire that was cruelly taken away from her.
“Hope, I miss you so much. I’m sorry this happened to you. I swear I tried to do everything I could to get him locked up, but you know his influence is so strong no one would believe me. I’m nobody to them. They just laughed in my face at the police station when I told them what happened. They said it was the shock speaking, that I’m not thinking clearly. When Caden appeared at the station, I ran—I didn’t have any other choice. I’m sorry, I should’ve stayed, should have fought so you’d get justice. But I was so afraid. Afraid, of what he was going to do to me when we were alone, so I ran. How very brave of me, huh?” I mutter sarcastically to myself. The footage has ended and just as I am about to turn off the player I played the footage on, the image shakes. There is no more blackness, I see Hope setting the camera, looking into the lens and sitting on the bed. Huh, I don’t remember filming this with her. I watch with interest what she’s going to say.
“Aaliyah,” she says on the tape, catching my attention. “First let me tell you how much I love you, and there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you – that’s why I’m making this tape. You are probably wondering what the hell I’m going to tell you that I couldn’t say in person. I didn’t want to put you in danger, so I kept quiet and tried to protect you from everything you’re about to hear. This memory card is your proof, your freedom, so make sure it doesn’t end up in the wrong hands if anything should happen to me. Everything started with our mother. As you know, she’s been addicted to drugs for ages and kept looking for ways to get another fix. Caden knew that and he used it to his benefit. When he lost his apartment because of his gambling debts and our mother took him in, everything started going downhill. You know how powerful Caden’s influence is, and he made sure she got her fix daily in exchange for him living under our roof for free. We both felt his fury when he was mad. But there was something else I managed to protect you from, hopefully.” I notice Hope is barely able to speak anymore, it’s difficult for her to talk about these things, and her eyes are pooling with tears. “Oh, Aaliyah, I really hope he wasn’t abusing you, too. I did everything in my power to stop him, and thankfully, I didn’t see any alarming signs that he had abused you, but I was afraid to ask for fear you would start asking questions about me. At least twice a week, while you were at school, he came to my room and locked the door. Mom was always high as a kite and had no idea. He said if I told anyone, he’d report mom for using drugs and send you to foster care. I couldn’t afford that because I didn’t want to lose you. When you turned eighteen, I didn’t want anything to jeopardize your schooling. I wanted you to finish school and make your dreams come true. You are the only important thing in my life and I’ll do anything, ANYTHING, to protect you. As I was saying, he came to my room, locked the door and did whatever he wanted. Yes, he even raped me a few times.” I gasp, covering my mouth with my hand. Tears are streaming down my cheeks. How come I knew nothing of this? Okay, I knew Caden was violent—I had experienced that on my own skin and often had to hide the bruises so no one in school would notice—but this is a completely different story. Rapist? Drug dealer? How could I be so blind? “Anyway, I resisted one day and hit him. That was the time you came to visit me in the hospital when I said I was attacked on the street by some strangers. In fact, Caden was the one who beat me. He hit me in the head a couple of times so I fell down, then he started kicking me in the stomach brutally. For a few moments, I lost consciousness, and when I came to, he was gone. I gathered enough strength to crawl to the next street where the neighbors called the ambulance, and I was taken to the hospital. I told them I was attacked by three men and they beat me because I had nothing valuable on me. They believed me, and that was it. I was bleeding heavily as they were examining my injuries. In the end, they told me there was so much blood because I was pregnant and lost the baby when I received kicks to the stomach.” Oh my God. I feel my flesh creep, and my heart squeezes. I am so sick to my stomach I can barely hold it in and not throw up all over the laptop.
“Why didn’t you tell me that?” I scream at the screen. “Perhaps we could’ve found the solution together!”
“Yes, it was Caden’s baby. I didn’t even know I was pregnant until the moment they told me I had a miscarriage. I felt robbed, but at the same time relieved, because I’m not sure I could have loved the child. You know I would never consider abortion. So, after I returned from the hospital, it took me some time to put myself together. Physically I recovered quickly, but mentally, I’m still in a deep black hole. Every day I wake up in fear that I’ll find Caden in your room, lying on top of you and… I can’t even say it.” She wipes at the tears that are running uncontrollably down her cheeks. “But that’s not all, one day…”
“Hey, Aaliyah,” Addison says as she enters the room, slams the door shut and goes to the fridge. I quickly turn off the computer, hoping she didn’t hear anything. I take the memory card out and look at Addison with a smile on my face. I hope she doesn’t notice I was crying.
“Hi,” I respond, “I borrowed your
computer, I have to write a paper. I hope you’re not mad.” She waves her hand.
“Oh, of course not, I told you, you can take it anytime you want.” I exhale deeply, she didn’t hear anything.
“How did it go with Noah? Did he take the truth badly?” Addison is curious, and I put my hands to my head.
“I made a complete mess of things.”
“Why? What happened?” We both sit down at our desks. I shift in my chair, crossing my legs Indian style.
“Yes, I told him how I feel and that I want us to remain friends. Then Ryder showed up and now Noah thinks Ryder’s the reason I broke up with him.” She widens her eyes in surprise.
“What? What does Ryder have to do with this? The last time I saw you two, you were fighting like cats and dogs. How is it possible that you’d break up with Noah because of Ryder?” She shakes her head, trying to imagine the situation.
“That’s exactly what I told Noah, but he’s not listening to me. Ryder has nothing to do with that.” I tell her, dropping my gaze to the floor.
“Wait a minute, are you hiding something from me? You and Ryder? When did that happen?” I shake my head frantically.
“No, no, nothing is going on between us. I won’t deny that I like him—what girl wouldn’t, just look at him—but no, he’s not the reason I only see Noah as a friend.”
“First, eww, he’s my brother, of course I don’t like him like that, and second, aaaaah, I can totally picture you two together.” She starts jumping in her chair excitedly. “How come I didn’t notice the signs earlier? It was so obvious.” I give her a look of surprise. I have no idea what she’s talking about.
“What signs are you talking about?”
“Hello, Ryder was acting like a complete ass toward you, which is totally uncharacteristic of him—it’s obvious he likes you, even though he has a weird way of showing it. He liked you, but because he thought you’re only hanging out with me for money, he was trying to hurt your feelings and keep his own in check by being a complete jerk to you. Obviously, he failed. Damn, I’m good. It took me awhile to figure it out, and it was so obvious.”
“Oh, Addison, you totally got it wrong. Yes, he was angry with me because he thought I was only chasing after your money, but he apologized. We’re trying to be friends and that’s all.” She looks me straight in the eyes.
“You’ll see, my friend. When Ryder puts his mind to something, he doesn’t stop until he gets what he wants. And if he wants you, he’ll do anything to get you. That’s Ryder.” I feel a blush creeping on my cheeks. He’ll do anything to get me. It sounds nice, but it’s not true. He’s not interested in me in that way, he said himself he wants us to be friends. And if that’s all I’ll get from him, I’ll just have to get used to it.
Ryder
Another game is behind us. We won again, by 19 points this time, though my heart wasn’t in the game. I played okay, but it wasn’t one of my best games. My team shakes hands with the opposing team and then we head to our benches to get our towels and bottles. I pull the jersey over my head as it is soaked with sweat, and throw it on the bench. I take a long swig of water, wiping a few droplets, trickling down my chin, with the back of my hand. Paris approaches, handing me a towel.
“Hey, handsome, nice game.” She runs her finger down my naked chest to the waist of my shorts. In the past a touch like that from Paris put inappropriate thoughts in my head, and we used every free moment to enjoy each other, but now her touch doesn’t do anything for me. Nothing, zilch. She’s just one of the girls that used to warm my sheets, but we remained friends—which I can’t say for other girls. Every one of them only wanted me for my money or fame, and as soon as I found that out, I removed them from my life. Paris is loaded, so I knew she wasn’t with me because of the money.
“Hey, Paris, what`s up? I have to grab a shower.” Her eyes seductively walk all over my body, and she licks her lips.
“I just wanted to congratulate you for a game well played. Britney, Scarlett and I are going to Josh’s party, you know Josh, right? You had a few classes together last year. Well, I wanted to ask you to come with us.” I think, scratching my head.
“Yeah, I know Josh well. Perhaps I’ll stop by, I could use a beer or two. I’ll ask the guys if they want to join me.” A wide grin appears on her face.
“Great, I’m already looking forward to it. The party starts at eight, and I can’t wait to steal you away for a dance.” She winks at me and walks to the other girls. I’m glad there aren’t any hard feelings between us. Now we’re getting along even better than when we were dating.
I’m with the guys in the locker room. Some of them are getting dressed, and I hit the shower. I turn on the hot water and let it run over me for some time. I stand under the hot spray with my eyes closed, relaxing completely. I think about Aaliyah and what she’s doing now. I’m glad she’s not seeing Noah, even though he’s a great guy, but I want her all to myself—and I’ll have her, soon. I pour the bodywash out of the bottle and spread it all over my body, my hand pausing on my iron hard dick. Too bad I’m not alone. It would feel good to get myself off. At the thought of Aaliyah, I instantly got horny. Once my hormones settle down, I wrap a towel around my hips and go get dressed.
Marc, Jayden and Jarrod instantly agree to go to the party with us. They’re looking forward to meeting new girls and maybe scoring something more than just a dance with them. I am not interested in other girls. Aaliyah is the only one I’m thinking of. Perhaps I’d manage to get her out of my mind if I met someone new. Oh, what am I saying—she’s impossible to take my mind off once she enters my thoughts. What if I called Addison and asked her what they’ll be doing today? Maybe I could get them to come. I shake my head at myself—that would be too obvious, she’d soon figure out I’m up to something. I should call Jackson, he definitely knows where the girls will be and what they’ll be doing. Damn it, what is wrong with me? I’m starting to act like a girl. No, I’m not calling anybody.
Chapter 10
Aaliyah
I can’t believe Addison convinced me to go to a party of someone I’ve never heard of before. She assured me Noah and Ryder will not be there, so I said yes. “Are you sure you need me? Aren’t you going to be too busy with Jackson? I don’t want to be the third wheel.”
“No way,” she waves her hand and puts it back on the steering wheel. The traffic light just turned red so she slowly stops the car. She checks her make-up in the mirror. “I’m not going to spend the whole evening with Jackson. Besides, there are going to be a lot of people to hang out with, perhaps you’ll even meet a guy.” I raise my hand, stopping her.
“Forget about me meeting somebody, I already have problems with the ones I already know. No way am I going to mix someone into this mess. Yes, I need to have fun, but that doesn’t include guys—at least not for a while.”
“Okay, okay, I just mentioned it. You’ll see how much fun we’re going to have.” Yeah, I’m sure she’s going to have tons of fun with Jackson, but I’ll probably just be waiting for her to grow tired of the party, so we can go home.
We drive up a giant driveway to a mansion where many cars are already parked. “Did he invite the whole campus? I’ve never seen so many cars in one place in my life.” They’re parked like sardines, so nobody can leave until the person the farthest from the house leaves. It’s a good thing we’ve only just arrived, otherwise, we wouldn’t be able to leave before morning.
“Oh, that’s nothing. Wait till you see the parties Ryder throws.” We get out of the car, and I take in my surroundings. All the houses here are enormous, two-story buildings with large driveways. Some have fences, some don’t, and street lamps by the road provide good visibility. “Come,” Addison says, grabbing me by the wrist, and we walk to the entrance. She opens the door without knocking or ringing the bell—no one would hear us with all the noise I hear coming from the inside, anyway. We’re surrounded by a large crowd of students, almost everybody is holding a plastic cup, no doubt fi
lled with alcohol. People are dancing in every room we walk through. In the kitchen, a girl is sitting on the counter, kissing a guy. They’re so absorbed in making out they don’t even notice us. We come to the living room, where music is especially loud. Two students are sitting on the couch, each with a girl on his lap, and others are dancing in pairs or chatting.
“Hey, Addison, you made it. I’m glad to see you,” says a guy a little older than us, pulling her in for a hug.
“You know I’d never miss your party.” With a wide grin on his face, the guy turns to me.
“And who’s the beauty here?” he asks Addison as he's checking me out. I extend my hand.
“Hey, I’m Aaliyah, Addison’s roommate.”
“Josh,” he responds, shaking my hand.
“I hope it’s okay for me to be here. Addison told me I could come.” Josh turns to Addison, nodding.
“Of course, every friend of Addison’s is welcome. Make yourself at home, I have to go mingle,” Josh says before leaving.
As expected Addison disappeared with Jackson. After ten minutes of unsuccessfully searching for them, I give up and go out for some fresh air. With my right hand, I open the door, a drink in my other hand, and close it behind me. Leaning my elbows on the white wooden fence, I breathe in the refreshing night air. A cold breeze blows over my bare arms, so I wrap my hands around my shoulders. The coat I brought is inside somewhere.
“Hi,” a deep male voice greets me, joining me on the porch. I am surprised to see him since Addison assured me he won’t be here.
“What are you doing here?” I turn around, my back to the fence, so I can see him better. Instantly I am overcome by his intoxicating smell—I still cannot figure out what smell this is— then my eyes meet his. Oh, could he be any more handsome? He’s holding a plastic cup in his hand, and he takes a slow sip, a smile on his face. He’s wearing a tight black V-neck shirt and worn out jeans that fit him like a glove.
