by Emma Dalton
“Where you off to, Gander? To make out with your boyfriend? Wait a minute.” She chuckles. “He ran for the hills after that pathetic kiss on Saturday.”
Her friends snicker.
It feels like a metal hand closes around my heart and squeezes.
“Brayden should have known invisible girls like you don’t know how to kiss. I bet he’ll dump your sorry butt by the end of the week, if he hasn’t done so already.”
She and the girls snicker again.
My fists clench at my sides as I try—so very desperately—to keep my tears at bay. Teagyn’s just a bully, and I shouldn’t allow her words to affect me this much. But she’s echoing the thoughts that have been racing through my mind since that awful night.
With the glint in her eye growing evil, she steps forward and hisses, “You got what you deserve. You really think someone as pathetic as you can be popular? Learn your place on the social ladder, invisible girl. And don’t ever try to go for someone like Brayden again.”
With a toss of her stupid hair, she spins around and marches away. Her friends toss their hair identically and hurry after her.
But Teagyn doesn’t make it far. A guy with a massive chest and sandy brown hair steps in her way.
My heart nearly catapults out of my chest. The last few days, I was on my guard in case I bumped into—or even locked eyes with—Brayden. But Teagyn had me so frustrated that I didn’t have a chance to put on my armor. His eyes flit to mine and remain there for a few seconds before landing back on Teagyn. I involuntarily step back, until I hit my locker.
With his lips pressed tightly together, he narrows his eyes at Teagyn. “Leave Kara alone,” he says in a quiet yet commanding voice.
“Brayden!” Teagyn gushes. “Hi. Walk me to class.” She wraps her claw around his arm.
He closes his hand over hers and plucks it off. “I said, leave Kara alone.”
“Brayden—”
“None of it is true,” he says, still in that quiet but commanding voice. “Stop spreading rumors, Teagyn.”
His eyes slowly find mine again. And he keeps them there for a few seconds. A few seconds too long. I spin around and run to my chem class.
***
The only good thing about today? The book club. My friends have been very supportive, not bringing up the party or the kiss once, giving me the chance to talk about it if I wanted to. But I didn’t want to up until this point. Now? I guess I just need to get all this tension off my chest.
“But she has more power than you think,” Ally says, referring to the heroine in the regency romance, A Lady of True Honor, we started reading this week. “She’s smart, resourceful, and she’s not afraid to go after what she wants.”
“She’s still under her brother’s control, though,” Charlie replies.
“That’s how it was at that time. You know women didn’t have any power.”
“I like her,” Dani muses. “She knows she could screw up her life by going after the stable boy, but she does go after what she wants. She chooses love.”
“A luxury most women didn’t have at the time,” Ally adds.
“So now she’s stuck.” Charlie snaps the book shut with a frown. “I really don’t like regencies.”
Ally’s gaze flicks to me. “What do you think, Kara?”
I stare at the space in front of me. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the kiss.”
Dani frowns. “But the hero and heroine didn’t even kiss yet.”
Charlie gently smacks her shoulder and hisses, “She’s talking about Brayden.”
“Oh. Duh.”
They all look at me.
“Thanks for not bringing it up,” I say with a forced smile. “I’ve been avoiding it and my feelings. But I feel like I’m going to explode.”
“You can talk to us if you want,” Ally offers. “You know we’d never judge you.”
Of course I know this. I’ve only been friends with the girls for a few weeks, but they understand me. Still, I’m not used to opening myself up like this and baring my soul. It’s been so long since I’ve done something like this, since Mom died.
I clear my throat and shift in my seat. “I hate the way he looks at me. Like I’m some pitiful girl who can only get kissed if someone forces him.”
“I doubt he looks at you that way,” Charlie says.
“You didn’t see his face.”
“Maybe it’s all in your head?” Dani offers. “I mean…you don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to, but…how was the kiss?” From the look in her eyes, I know she’s bursting to know every little detail. So is Ally, the hopeless romantic. Charlie, like usual, seems guarded and suspicious.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I say, “It was the best thing that’s ever happened in my life.”
Dani squeals and claps, but then she remembers there is nothing remotely romantic about this whole situation. “At least the kiss was good,” she says.
“On my end,” I stress. “From the way he looked at me…” I shake my head.
“Well, it was your first kiss,” Charlie says, matter-of-factly. “Cut yourself some slack.”
“How can I? He probably has lots of experience kissing girls. Then he was forced to kiss someone with the kissing knowledge of a ten year old. Ugh!” I cover my face. “I should never have agreed to go to that party. Nothing will ever be the same between us. He’ll always look at me as the pathetic girl he was forced to kiss.”
“Stupid Teagyn,” Dani grumbles.
Her words immediately conjure up what happened this morning in the hallway. I try to shove it out of my mind. It’s been playing in there over and over for the last seven hours. I’m done dissecting it.
“I was worried something like this would happen,” Ally’s soft voice says.
I lower my hands from my face. “I’m fine. Let’s get back to the book.”
“Does this mean the arrangement is over?” Dani asks.
“I don’t know. I mean, I still want to help him get recruited by my dad, but…I have no idea how it’s going. He and my dad went to the Falcons game on Sunday, but I have no idea if anything came out of it. My dad just said Brayden is a nice boy, and I obviously didn’t hear anything from Brayden.”
Suddenly, the room is stifling. I tuck my legs beneath me, but that doesn’t help. I lower them back to the floor, but I’m still uncomfortable. Getting to my feet, I say, “Can we end early today? I want to go home.”
“Sure,” Dani says, eyes full of worry.
Ally gently puts her hand on my arm as I pass her. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
I close my eyes for a second to regulate my emotions. “Thanks for worrying about me,” I say, glancing from her to Dani and Charlie. “All of you. I think I just need to be by myself for a little while.” Although I have no clue what good that will do. I was basically alone the last four days and that didn’t do a single thing to help. I laugh lightly. “I’m not exactly the best company right now.”
“We don’t mind,” Charlie says with a smile.
“Books heal the soul,” Dani adds.
I give her an apologetic look. “Sorry, Dani, I don’t think a book can make me feel better. But don’t worry about me, this will pass. Just give me some time, okay?”
They all nod.
“I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”
I push the door open and march toward the exit, my head still a jumbled mess. My friends are being super cool about the whole thing, I just wish I wouldn’t push them away. But I don’t know how to deal with all these emotions passing through me. I’m upset at myself for so many reasons—why did I let Teagyn push me around like that? I could have said no to kissing Brayden. Then he and I would still be friends and I wouldn’t be such a mess.
“Oof!” I crash into a bus and tumble to the floor.
“Kara?”
Looking up, I find Brayden standing over me. Sheesh, that bus was him? He must have gotten stronger since the last time I bumped into him
because ouch.
“You okay?” He holds out his hand.
The kiss flashes before my eyes.
I scramble to my feet and stumble away from him. “Yeah,” I stammer. “I’m good.”
He slowly lowers his hand to his side. “You sure? Because the last time I bumped into you, you told me I felt like a brick wall.”
“You’ve been upgraded to a bus,” I mutter.
His eyes widen. “Sorry.”
I shrug. “It’s cool. I should really watch where I’m going.”
We’re not standing too close to each other, but I feel the heat of his body leaping onto mine. And gosh, that smell. It’s so hard to make eye contact with him, even though my heart begs me to do nothing else.
We stand in the middle of the hallway in utter silence.
“Shouldn’t you be at practice?” I ask, eyes anywhere but on his face.
“Yeah. I just had to get something from my locker.”
“Oh.”
Quiet.
“Cool,” I say before turning around and walking away.
“Kara?” he calls.
I release a breath before slowly twisting around to face him.
He lifts a shaky hand to his head and runs it through his hair. “Can we talk?”
My heart bounces around in my chest. “Um…sure.”
He moves to the closest classroom and pushes the door open, peeking inside. “This one’s empty.” He widens the door for me.
“What about practice?” I ask.
He waves his hand. “This is more important.”
Again, my heart bounces in my chest. Did he just imply that talking to me is more important than football?
He sits down at a desk in the front, and I take one a few rows away. I don’t know why. I guess I’m used to separating myself from the crowd. Brayden glances at the space between us and gets up, heading over to the one next to mine and sitting down.
“Sorry,” I mutter, shaking my head. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like a leper.”
That causes a small smile to tease his lips. “You didn’t make me feel like a leper. But I’ll return to my original seat if sitting next to you makes you uncomfortable.”
“No!” I practically yell. “Sitting next to you does not make me uncomfortable. It’s the complete opposite. I—” My lips snap shut as I lower my head. “I’ll shut up now.”
He laughs softly. “You’re funny, do you know that?”
“No.”
“But you are.”
I shrug. “If you say so.”
The smile teasing his lips grows stronger. “I’m glad we’re talking again,” he admits. “Things have been really weird the last few days.”
Yeah, talk about a major understatement.
He leans a little closer, his eyes growing soft. “Look, Kara, I’m really sorry about what happened at the party. I shouldn’t have let Teagyn…what I mean is, I shouldn’t have kissed you.”
“We kissed each other,” I correct him.
“I know. But the only reason we were in that position to begin with was because I asked you to pretend to be my girlfriend. If not for that, you wouldn’t have been uncomfortable.”
But then I wouldn’t have hung out with him all these weeks. We wouldn’t have exchanged so much as a hello.
“I’m glad to help, Brayden.” I finally look him full in the face. “I want you to get into the school of your dreams.”
“And that’s what makes you so unbelievably awesome.”
But not awesome enough for him to see me as anything more than a friend.
“I hope I put Teagyn in her place this morning,” he says as he leans back in his seat.
“Why do you even hang out with her?” I ask.
He sighs. “I don’t like her, but she’s friends with my friends and we all hang out. I try not to judge her. She’s under a lot of pressure from her mom. Not that it excuses her behavior at all, but if Coach was my dad and put all that pressure on me…” He shakes his head. “I can’t imagine.”
I think about his words for a few seconds. “I guess I never considered that.”
“You never know what a person is going through, so I don’t think it’s fair to judge them.”
My heart won’t stay still. He’s making it super hard not to fall madly in love with him. “You’re a good person, Brayden,” I say.
“You’re the good person.”
I shake my head. “I’m not.”
“I disagree.”
Tears threaten my eyes. I don’t know why. I bite hard on my cheek because I don’t want to cry in front of him. Not because I think he’ll get uncomfortable—he’s not like that—but because I want him to see me as strong.
“I’ll understand if you want to break our arrangement,” he says.
My gaze snaps to his. “What? I don’t want to do that.”
“You don’t?”
“No. I promised I’d do whatever I could to help you.”
The smile he gives me is so sincere, I think my heart just exploded. “Thanks, Kara. That’s so sweet of you. But I promise I won’t let Teagyn or anyone else get to me. Whatever happens, you come first.”
How I wish those words were said in a different context.
I shift in my seat. “How did it go with my dad on Sunday? Did you have a good time?”
“Amazing,” he gushes, eyes lighting up like the sun is buried in his skull. “Your dad has so much football knowledge, it’s crazy. He kept spouting statistics and information on the players—I felt like I was in football school.”
I smile. “That sounds like my dad.”
His face grows a little anxious. “What did he say about me?”
“Oh…um, he didn’t really say much.”
His face falls. “He didn’t?”
“Just that you’re a nice guy.”
He stares down at his knees. “Maybe he doesn’t like me.”
“He does,” I assure him. “He told me after dinner that night that he likes you a lot. Maybe he just needs to see you play?
“Maybe he’ll come to the homecoming game.”
I give him an apologetic look. “He’s out of town this weekend.”
“Oh.”
“But we just have to be patient,” I say with the most confidence and assurance I can muster. “Just have faith that everything will work out, okay? I know he’s impressed with you. It’s just a matter of time before he sees you in action.”
He nods as my words enter his head. “Yeah. You’re right.”
We’re both quiet. I don’t mind the silence this time, though. Because Brayden and I are talking again. We’re friends again. It feels like everything is right in the world again.
“Um, I should probably let you get back to practice,” I say reluctantly. “Your coach will probably skin you alive if he knew you ditched to talk to me.”
“Yeah,” he mutters with a frown, like he doesn’t want to leave. Then his eyes snap to mine, “Hey, Kara?”
“Yeah?”
“I’ve been wanting to ask you something for a while now, but things got weird with…well, you know, and I wasn’t sure…”
Okay, why is he so adorable rambling like that?
“What I mean to say is…” He laughs as he rakes his hand through his hair. “Why am I so nervous to ask this?”
“Ask what?”
“If you want to go to homecoming with me.”
A large, goofy smile conquers my face. Wow, the thought never even crossed my mind. Maybe because I never imagined I’d actually go to homecoming. I didn’t have friends to go with in the past, let alone a boyfriend. But now I do.
Except, it’s fake. Why does my brain—and heart—constantly forget that little detail?
With a shrug, I say, “Sure. I am your girlfriend, after all.”
He frowns and is quiet for a short while. Then he says, “Right. But can we forget the fake couple thing just for one night? I’d like us to go as friends.”
Disappo
intment nearly knocks me over the head. What’s worse—a fake relationship or just being friends? Both hurt either way.
“Oh, sure,” I say. “Going as friends would be great. But we still have to pretend to everyone that we’re together.”
“Right,” he quickly says. “We still have to pretend.”
It takes everything I have not to sigh like the world is coming to an end.
“So, thanks,” he says as he lightly punches my arm. “Friend. And girlfriend.”
I force out a laugh. “Friend and boyfriend.”
He stands. “I should get back to practice before coach fries my butt. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Okay, bye.”
He smiles with a nod before leaving the room.
I bang my head into the desk. I guess I’m glad we’re back friends instead of awkwardly avoiding each other, but I still find myself in the same dilemma. Brayden will forever only see me as his friend.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Brayden
I look at the bleachers during today’s practice, scanning each and every person carefully. Hoping my eyes are playing tricks on me. But no, Kara’s not here.
I try not to be disappointed. She doesn’t owe me anything—it’s me who owes her everything—but I miss seeing her out there. She doesn’t have book club and I don’t think she has the paper this afternoon, either. I guess she has better things to do than watch her friend practice.
I shake my head, silently scolding myself. Who said she even sees me as a friend? I put her in such an uncomfortable position at that party, all because of a selfish agenda to gain her dad’s attention. Had I known it would have led to that, I wouldn’t have asked her to do it.
But then I wouldn’t have gotten to know her. Wouldn’t know there was a sweet, smart, kind, amazing girl who went to the same school as me. A girl who’s become such a big part of my life. I can’t imagine what will happen when we part ways.
I won’t hang on to her. I caused her enough trouble already. If she won’t want to be friends once our arrangement comes to an end, I’ll respect her wishes. I just want her to be happy.
“Good practice!” Coach Papas yells. “Hit the showers, boys!”
I race along with everyone else toward the locker room, when Coach yells, “Not you, Barrington! Need a word with you.”
