"Sure." I was gathering information for my article, but, to be honest, I didn't want the hand-holding to stop. My heels wobbled on the uneven ground and my body brushed against his a few times as we walked. More heat. More electricity.
In the back, his lot sloped downward with a panoramic view of the valley. When I told Axel how beautiful it was, he seemed extremely pleased by my compliment, as if he were searching for my approval. The cocky demeanor he'd had in the restaurant was gone, and I thought maybe it was his pride in the property that had changed his focus.
After he described his plans for a swimming pool, a hot tub, and a patio that would run the length of the house, we turned to head back. When we reached the car, I stumbled, tripping over a rock I hadn't seen. Axel's arm shot around my waist. He held me up, kept me from falling, and then pulled me against him, pressing my chest tightly against his.
"Are you okay?" He was looking into my eyes with concern and I couldn't look away.
"I'm fine," I said, nearly breathless from his proximity.
He continued to hold me tight, and he searched my face, his eyes moving quickly from my eyes to my lips and back. Then he kissed me.
His lips shocked me with that same electricity, ten times greater than the touch of his hand had inspired. I was stunned at first, and then I started to return his kiss. I'd wanted this since I was fifteen. Axel's smooth, soft lips were pressing against mine, and it was even better than I'd imagined. He tasted better than anything that had ever touched my lips before.
He continued to hold me tight against him, while he ran a hand through my hair, pushing it away from my face, and then deepening his kiss. He gently parted my lips and when I felt his tongue seeking mine, I lost my breath.
I reached a hand up to explore the stubbly texture of his jaw, then ran my fingers through his hair and pulled him closer as our kisses grew more fevered.
Axel backed me up a step until I was against the car. He leaned over me, rounding my body over the smooth curve of the coupe, trapping me. His hardness pressed into me as he laid a trail of burning kisses along the exposed skin of my neck.
My breasts were arched toward him, my nipples hard and needy, poking against the thin blouse. His mouth moved lower on my neck; his hot breath and wet tongue making me grow hot and wet in response. When he reached the fabric of my shirt, he paused and lifted his head.
"Don't stop," I panted.
He inhaled sharply and returned to my mouth, crushing his delicious lips to mine, leaving not an inch of space between our bodies. We fit together perfectly. He pushed his hips into mine and I could feel his excitement throbbing against me as his hands explored my body hungrily.
Axel wants me, I thought. I was in the moment, but I also felt as if I were outside of my body, like I was watching from above in disbelief. I heard myself moan, and I breathed his name as if I was dreaming. Like I'd dreamt of him so many times. Axel.
"Kayla," he said, holding me in his arms like he never wanted to let go.
I sighed and melted into him. And then part of my brain woke up and replayed what he'd just said. Kayla. He'd called me Kayla. I froze and pushed him away, or tried to. He was still pressed against me, so I shoved harder and he moved backward, away from me.
Flushed and breathing hard, I stared at him and took in his surprise, watched him realize what had just happened. My body was instantly cold, already missing his. My stomach twisted into a knot.
How had he known who I was? Was I that obvious? And why hadn't he said anything? And why was he kissing me, knowing who I was? My mind raced and I had no clue what to say.
Chapter Five - For Now
Axel
Shit! I'd fucked up! I'd gotten carried away and fucked up, and now Kayla was running away from me, or at least trying to.
"Kayla, wait!" I caught up to her in a few strides and grabbed her shoulder.
My heart fell when I turned her toward me and saw tears in her eyes.
"What's the matter?" I said. "Why are you crying?"
She looked away and wouldn't meet my eyes.
"Don't cry," I said. "Talk to me." I never could stand to see her cry.
She shook her head. "I can't." She pulled away from me and stormed back to the car.
I didn't want to upset her further. I stayed a few steps behind and tried to figure out what to say. She'd been deceiving me, so I didn't feel that I needed to apologize for not telling her right away that I knew. She'd been enjoying kissing me; there was no mistake about that. Maybe she was embarrassed? I decided not to push her, to let her calm down, and talk when she was ready.
I stood back as she got into the car. Her face was red and she looked angry, and I had no idea why.
I got in, put the key in the ignition, but didn't turn it. I stared straight ahead and felt hot emotion radiating from her side of the small car.
I tried again. "Kayla—"
She interrupted in an outburst. "Why did you do that? Why did you kiss me?"
I was at a loss for words. Why wouldn't I kiss her? What kind of question was that? She was looking at me with narrowed eyes, and it started to piss me off. "I wasn't forcing you," I said firmly. "You were kissing me too."
"Why were you kissing me if you knew who I was?" Her voice cracked and her face softened a little. I was afraid she'd crumble again.
"I kissed you because I wanted to." I said, simply and honestly, my tone calmer.
She looked away again. We were back to this. I read the moment and decided to give her space to calm down, to let us both clear our thoughts. I started the engine, turned around, and went slowly down the drive.
I felt like driving fast. I needed to drive fast, and it would've helped me process my emotions, but I sensed that it would have the opposite effect on Kayla, so I stuck to the speed limit as I drove back to the restaurant. Also, I was in no rush to part from her. I wanted her to cool down so that we could talk. I had a lot of questions for her, but I knew this wasn't the time.
"Where did you park?" I asked, when I pulled into the lot. She pointed and I followed her direction. As soon as I stopped the car, I put a hand on her arm. "Kayla, don't go."
"Don't," she said, shaking me off of her and reaching for the door handle. "Just let me go."
And so I did. For now.
Chapter Six - Goodbye
Kayla
I was shaking. I had to sit in my car for several minutes before I felt like I'd be safe to drive.
Axel lingered in the parking lot, but finally, he left and I gradually started to function again.
I was numb as I drove home. Thoughts competed for attention but none won. How did he know who I was? When did he know? Why did he kiss me? Why did I let him? How was I going to handle never experiencing his touch again, now that I'd been in his arms?
I tried to just wipe it all out. I couldn't process it, couldn't deal with it.
I mixed a strong drink when I got home, skipped dinner, and was thankful when the alcohol enabled me to fall asleep.
* * *
My head was aching the next morning, and I didn't know if it was the vodka or the crying that had caused it. I got ready to go into the office on autopilot and tried to remember what I'd been working on. I had a few projects underway, but I wouldn't be able to avoid the article about Axel for long, and I had no idea how I was going to manage it. I knew I'd just need to disconnect my heart from my brain, even though my brain was pretty messed up about it all too.
It was important that I do a great job on Axel's feature. Dean had taken a chance on me, and I couldn't afford to let my emotions incapacitate me.
Marlee came over to my workspace shortly after I arrived. "How'd it go yesterday?"
I looked at her and shook my head. "Not good," I said. I wondered if my eyes were still red. They felt like they were.
"Why? What happened?" Marlee came in closer and leaned against my desk.
"He recognized me."
"Oh, no," she said. "And then what? He refused to do the int
erview?"
"No, I got it. That part's okay." I felt my face heating up and knew I couldn't talk about it yet. "I'll have to tell you later. Deadlines," I said, gesturing to my computer. "Thank you, anyway, for letting me use your name."
"Alright. Get to work. Drinks tonight?"
"Sounds good," I said. I knew I wouldn't feel like socializing tonight, but it was easier to agree. I needed to bury myself in my work, and fast.
* * *
Mid-morning, the receptionist buzzed me. "Kayla? Axel Beckers is here to see you."
Shit! Damn it. I wanted to tell her to send him away, but remembered my story assignment, and knew there'd be a good chance Dean would hear about something like that. That would never do. I was trapped, and would have to meet with him, like it or not.
I rehearsed some lines in my head as I walked to the lobby. I'd be firm. I'd tell him I couldn't see him again. I wouldn't think about the way it had felt when he held me.
And damn if Axel wasn't looking even better than he did yesterday. He was clean cut, in denim and a button-down, and he was holding flowers. Shit! I could tell he was not going to make this easy.
He watched me approach, his expression cautious and kind. I led him to a far corner of the lobby where no one could overhear us, and sat down at a small cluster of furniture by the window.
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
"We need to talk."
I was silent.
"Here. These are for you." He held the flowers out to me, a small rustic bouquet of miniature roses and freesia.
I hesitated and then took them, remembering my manners before I confronted him. "Thank you. But why did you bring flowers?"
Frustration passed across his face. "Because I wanted to," he said.
I set them on the table next to me and folded my hands in my lap. I drew my shoulders back and aimed for maximum composure in my posture and voice. "I'd like to apologize to you," I said. "I shouldn't have deceived you, and I'm sorry. I was assigned to do a feature on you, and I didn't think you'd agree to meet with me, so I used a coworker's name."
"Why in the world wouldn't I meet with you?" He looked at me like I was speaking another language.
"Because of our parents, our history."
He still looked deeply confused for a moment before he spoke. "That was all their bullshit, not ours," he said.
"Well their bullshit was pretty bad. World war caliber. My mother would go ballistic if she knew I was speaking to you, and I'll bet your father would feel the same about me."
"My dad wouldn't give a shit, but even if he did, I wouldn't care." Axel paused before continuing in a softer tone. "I've thought about you a lot over the years. It was great to see you yesterday."
"Okay, you've seen me," I said. "We're caught up on each other's lives. Why are you here?"
He cocked his head and looked at me for a moment with half-closed eyes.
Damn, why did he have to be so sexy?
"You were a smart girl in high school, and I'm sure you're a very smart woman, but you ask some really dumb questions." He moved to the edge of his seat and leaned forward. His knees rubbed against mine. "I'm here because I want to see you again. We have a connection, a history, and I want to get to know you better as a woman."
I laughed, a hard, mocking laugh. "Is that what you call it? You want to finish what we started yesterday and add me to your long list of conquests?" I looked around, glad to see the lobby was mostly empty. I lowered my voice to a hiss. "Why don't we just fuck right here. We can get it over with, you can add me to your list, and move on."
Axel's mouth fell open and then he shook his head slowly. "Is that what you think of me, Kayla? What the hell? What did I do to you?"
"I see how you carry on. I see all the women you date, one after another. I'm not going to be one of your throwaways. You're a race car driver just like your father, and you're a womanizer, just like your father."
Axel pushed up out of his chair and walked a couple of steps away before storming back. "What makes you think you can talk to me that way? You don't even know me. You haven't known me for ten years. Fuck, Kayla."
He stared at me angrily, and I glared back. But I could see that my accusations had gone too far, and that under his anger, he was actually hurt.
"You don't know me," he repeated in a lower voice, his anger retreating as fast as it had come.
I stood, ready to conclude our conversation. "You're right, I don't know you. But there's no point in us seeing more of each other. What happened yesterday never should've happened. You were my stepbrother, for god's sake! But I know I'm to blame too, and I'm sorry for letting things get carried away."
Axel reached to touch my arm, but I stepped around him, avoiding his hand. I moved just out of reach and turned to look at him before leaving. "I'm going to write a really nice story about you, and then I'm never going to look back. Goodbye, Axel."
Chapter Seven - Just Like That
Axel
She left me, just like that. A few quick, angry steps across the bright lobby, and she was gone.
I was too stunned to go after her. She was so unlike the girl I'd known. The Kayla who'd lived in our house had been quiet, shy, and really sweet. The Kayla who'd just stormed off had no problem speaking her mind.
And I was stunned by what was on her mind. How could she just assume that I was like my dad? Sure, I loved racing like he did, but I knew damn well that he was a bastard when it came to women, and I'd made a very conscious choice never to emulate that behavior. I knew how badly my father had hurt Kayla's mom, and by extension he'd hurt Kayla too. I understood her anger toward him, even after all these years, but why was I guilty by association? It made no sense.
I'd sunk into a chair when she'd left, my head heavy in my hands. I looked up to see that she'd left the flowers I'd given her. I grabbed them, tossed them in the trash on my way out, and found my car. Today I was going to drive fast. I needed it.
Thirty minutes later, the city shrinking in the rear view mirror, thoughts were still racing around my head faster than I was driving. I thought about my father. He was a good dad but a lousy husband. He couldn't keep his dick in his pants, even after he got married. He was on his fifth wife now, and I wouldn't be surprised if he was fooling around on her too. I was nothing like him. I hadn't been married or even in a serious relationship. I liked women; I liked them a lot, but I didn't make commitments and promises that I didn't plan to keep. I was careful that none of the women got attached, so that I wouldn't hurt them. Why in the world would Kayla think I was anything like my old man?
Some of her angry words replayed in my head. She'd said something about me “adding her to my list.” That sounded like something my manager had mentioned a few months ago. He warned me that I was dating too much, and that I was getting a reputation in the media. I'd shrugged off his comments without a second thought, knowing he was just concerned about sponsorship dollars. Was this what Kayla had been talking about?
I pulled off at the next exit for gas and had the bizarre impulse to search the Internet for my name, just to see what would come up. I had to assume this was where Kayla had gotten her information about me. What did she see?
I smiled at first as I started to flip through the image results. There were some good memories there; some fun nights. But the longer I looked, the more I realized how this might look to Kayla. I had dated a lot. I had been with a lot of women. But I didn't hurt them; I made it clear at the start that things wouldn't get serious.
Part of me had known that kissing Kayla might complicate things, but I couldn't resist her. Her body was amazing, and it had felt so good against mine. She was drop dead gorgeous, but she didn't act like she knew it, like most of the women I dated. And she was clearly a racing fan; I had to laugh about that. I pulled back onto the highway, knowing I would never be able to drive far enough to get her out of my head.
I needed to get in touch with her again, and I needed her to listen to me this time. She
was obviously hurt by what had happened in our family, and I needed to make things right with her. I needed her to understand that I'm not like my father.
* * *
Since Kayla hadn't been honest with me when we'd met for the interview, I felt justified using a little deceit to get a chance to see her again. Actually, I wasn't going to be full-on deceitful, but I knew she wouldn't be happy about my plan.
Two days had passed, and I hoped that had been enough cooling-off time for her. I needed to leave town tomorrow, but first I had to see her one more time.
I brought up her magazine's website again and found the real Marlee Lawson. I could be wrong, but my guess was that Kayla and Marlee were friends, since Kayla had chosen her name as an alias.
I dialed Marlee's direct number and she answered on the second ring.
"Marlee Lawson." The sound of fast tapping on a keyboard accompanied her greeting.
"Marlee, this call is going to sound unusual, so I'm hoping you'll bear with me."
"Okay." She drew the word out, the typing slowed, and I could tell I had her full attention.
"This is Axel Beckers. Your associate Kayla Brewster met with me earlier this week for an interview." I paused and Marlee indicated that she was already aware of that information. "Are you and Kayla friends?"
Marlee took a few moments before finally saying, "We hang out after work sometimes. And… I know that you and Kayla have a history."
I was relieved that Marlee had some familiarity with the situation. Hell, maybe Marlee knew what was going on inside Kayla's head, and I was almost tempted to ask her, because I could really use the insight. God, I felt like a schoolboy trying to get through to a girl I liked by way of her friend.
"I could really use your help. I'm about to leave town, and I need to see Kayla before I go. I don't think she'll see me if I just show up to meet with her at the office."
SPEED: A Stepbrother Romance Page 3
