I can't help but chuckle at the seemingly absurdity of her words. “Sex, friendship, and education? That's all you need?”
She frowns. “Well, the material things in life too, but right now, yes.”
Placing my hands behind my head to get more comfortable, I ask, “What's with your obsession with sex?” I've never seen a girl talk so much, so openly about it.
“Obsession? It's not an obsession. I love sex. And I'm not having nearly enough of it lately.” She perks an eyebrow at me. “Might as well call it a passion of mine. Like you with your job and your guns. Besides, sex is one thing that I know I can do well.”
“Uh, huh. I see.”
Ryan narrows her eyes at me. “You see what, Gabe?”
I shrug. “Sex is your way of getting someone to tell you that you're good at something because you're parents are idiots who think you can't succeed at the things you do.”
She rolls her eyes. “Please. Don't get all psychological on me, Gabe. I know my parents are idiots. I know it all too well. No one needs to tell me I'm a great lay or that I'm smart or that I can do anything I put my mind to. I know that already. It's not me who needs to be convinced. Sure, they messed me up with all their 'You're such a disappointment' speeches, but I know I'm more than what they see. What exactly that is, I don't know. That's one point of college, right? To find out who you are?”
“Yeah, I guess so. Who do you think you are, Ryan?”
Her shoulders droop. “I don't know.” She clasps her hands, dropping her head to avoid looking at me. As she speaks, she glances up at me here and there. “For a lot of things, I feel really indecisive. Like when you asked me about my favorite thing to do or with my major or anything like that. I don't know what's me. I've been trying to do what I like while doing what my parents want me to do. It's not always possible for those things to coincide.
“When I was growing up, I dabbled in a bit of everything. I was really good at some of them, but by the time I could enjoy it, my parents moved me on to the next thing because my efforts weren't good enough for them to keep paying for it. Or like with tennis and I quit because it wasn't fun anymore. I overanalyze a lot of things and others not enough.
“Gabe, I can't tell you who I am because I'm not sure. But I can tell you who others think I am. That's the easy part. I don't agree with what they see, which only confuses me more most of the time. I mean, I'm not the greatest person in the world, but what they see as bad, doesn't always mean it is. And I was truly looking forward to majoring in French because that would be a challenge for me, and I would be learning something new. God, I'm rambling again, aren't I?”
I nod. “I think it's kind of cute.” She rolls her eyes at me, but it makes her smile. “Do you know what I think you should do?” She shakes her head. “Make your own standards for yourself. Decide who you want to be and ignore everyone else.” Sitting up, I stare into her green eyes, making her listen to me. “If people want to judge you, fine. That reflects more on who they are. Not you. Because, if you ask me, I'd say you're a tad bit on the crazy side and when you talk, you rattle on and on. You think entirely too much about every single thing. You're a girl trying to prove herself to people who will never be satisfied. I think you've been pulled in so many directions that you don't have a clue where you want to go. If you ask me, Ryan, I'd say that you just need someone to guide and support you. You're absolutely a beautiful, lost girl.”
A tear wells and falls over onto her cheek. She lifts her hand, but I swipe it away with my thumb before she can reach it. Ryan gives me a half smile before leaning forward to kiss me softly. When she pulls away, she doesn't say anything at all.
“Why don't you sleep over at my place tonight? I'll cook you a good meal or two.” I don't know why I invite her over other than the fact that I want her away from here for a little while, and I want to see her in my house again. “I'll even take you out tomorrow.”
Ryan laughs. “You had me with your first question. You can't take the others back now, though. Do you want to go now? Want me to drive my car, so you don't have to bring me back here?”
“No, it's fine. Just pack your things, and we'll head there.”
Ryan scurries off her bed, opens a messy closet, and looks for a bag. I watch as she moves around the room, tossing things into the pink bag. One thing that Ryan said, that bothers me the most, is what she said about not wanting me to be a knight in shining armor. I've been that guy in the past, and I always saved the girl, put her back together, and she either destroyed me in the end or left to find someone more suitable for her new self. With Ryan, I can't help but want to help. Maybe I don't have to save her, per se, but still be able to help get her through her issues.
My relationship before last, in particular, is the one that stands out the most and is probably the one my mother thinks about when she worries about me. She was a little younger than me. I was twenty-four, and she had just turned twenty-one. She seemed like a good girl, a bit of a drinker already, but she managed to have a coy, very seemingly innocent personality about her. Truly, she was a deceiver, putting on whatever face she needed to get what she wanted.
When she needed to borrow some money, I loaned it to her. I trusted that she would pay me back, and we had been dating for about seven months or so. That was my last mistake. She liked to be taken care of, and I found myself wanting to take care of her. So I would buy her things here and there and before I knew it, I had spent a lot of money on this girl. After I loaned her three thousand dollars, she disappeared. Big, stupid mistake, I know. Not only was I out that money, but I was upset that I had fallen for it.
Mom shook her head at me when I told her what happened and brought up that I was too good and trusting for my own good. I decided to put it all behind me and move forward without another thought. So yeah, being that guy hasn't worked out for me. It doesn't make sense to me sometimes, so I'll have to go against what I would want to do naturally.
I won't swoop in and take care of Ryan's problems, like the “stupid knight” she spoke of. No. I'll simply be there to help her handle them herself. She can do it, just as she said. She needs a little guidance is all. Ryan leaves the room, heading to the bathroom, appearing minutes later. She sits the bag on the bed, walks to her nightstand, and unplugs her charger from the outlet. Once she puts it in her bag, she smiles at me.
“Ready.”
On our way out, she grabs her keys and purse. Ryan seems more like herself as we ride to my house. She rests her hand on my leg as I drive, watching the scenery blur outside the window. The bottom falls right before we get there. I almost miss my driveway it's pouring so hard, and I can barely see.
“Great,” I mumble, wishing more than ever I had a garage. At least my driveway comes right up to my side door, and there's an awning over it.
I rush to the door with Ryan's bag, only a couple feet away until I'm covered by the awning, and I still get soaked. I hate rain, hating getting wet, yet I don't own an umbrella. I can't really complain about it since I haven't done anything to prevent situations like this. Hurriedly, I unlock it and push it open, expecting Ryan to be right behind me. But when I turn to look, she's leaning with her back against the passenger door, her head tilted up to the sky. Her red hair turns even darker as it gets wet.
“What are you doing?” I yell over the loud rain.
Ryan faces me at the sound of my voice, and she's grinning. The water drips down her face, clinging to her white t-shirt, revealing the skin underneath.
“C'mon,” she hollers at me.
“It's raining, and it's cold!”
She laughs at my obvious response. “You won't melt, I promise.”
Ryan walks around to the boot of my car, pulls herself up, and leans back against my window, her arms out. The rain pelts against her, and she seems to be loving it. What is she doing? Does she actually like rain? Reluctantly, I set her bag inside the door and go to her. Thunder booms loudly, but Ryan doesn't even flinch. Her grin is even more present
now.
“You're drenched, Ryan, and you're going to get yourself killed or sick or something bad,” I tell her, standing in front of her legs hanging off my car. My clothes stick to me uncomfortably, and I'm tempted to haul her over my shoulder to carry her inside without waiting for a response.
Ryan sits up. “Thunderstorms are one of the best things in the world. You have to enjoy them while they last.”
Without permission, my eyes wander over her body. Oh, God. Her jeans are stuck to those legs I love so much, and her shirt isn't hiding anything, her nipples straining against her bra and t-shirt. Her lower lip trembles from the icy cold rain, proving she's freezing. Ryan's eyes do some roaming of their own as she absentmindedly licks her lips. Maybe rain isn't so bad. No thought occurs as I finally pick her up, hauling her over my shoulder, and head into the house. Ryan laughs.
“I said you wouldn't melt!”
Just as we step over the threshold, lightening strikes, sounding too close by for comfort. I bend over to set her back on her feet.
“I was about to come in, you know,” she says with her hands propped on her hips, looking entirely too hot. “You didn't look like you would have gone for my idea of racing to the road and back. Running in the rain is a lot of fun, Gabe. Although, you throwing me over your shoulder was hot and so much more fun.” She smiles wickedly.
That's it. I have to have her. There's no holding back anymore. She wants it, and good God if I don't. I don't answer. I can't. Nothing will come out. Oblivious to my turmoil, Ryan bends over to pick up her bag.
“Better go change.”
I watch her hips swing as she walks away. My feet, knowing what I want, begin to follow her. She hangs her bag on the door to my bedroom and peels off her shirt first. Her back tattoos on display until Ryan turns to face me.
“Could I have a towel for my hair? I would just throw it up, but I forgot to bring a scrunchie.”
“No.”
“No?” She questions, confused as I continue to stalk towards her.
“No,” I repeat, coming to a stop in front of her. I cup her cheeks and immediately kiss her briefly. “We're going to have sex. That okay with you?”
Ryan's surprise quickly fades, and she nods. I pull her lips back to me, finding her tongue, and sucking it into my mouth. There's a soft sound as her shirt falls from her hand and onto the floor. She bunches the hem of my shirt in her hands and lifts, breaking our kiss for a moment. My shirt slips from her fingers when I kiss her again. Grabbing her hips, I hoist her up, her legs wrapping around my waist, and walk to my bed to lay her down.
I lick and suck up all the remaining droplets of rain along her neck, across her shoulders. Ryan's body moves, and I realize she's removing her bra while I kiss her collarbone. Her breasts come free. Each one falls towards her arms a little from their weight. She's a pure seductress. I've never wanted anyone as much as I want her right now. My mouth descends on her breast, and I tug the nipple between my teeth, causing Ryan to shiver beneath me, her hands starting at my shoulders and running down my back.
I suck so hard when I pull away a pop sounds. As I kiss down and across to the other, I order, “Unbutton your pants.”
Her fingers fumble with the button and zipper as I roll my tongue around her nipple, biting down gently. I grab her hands and hold them down on either side of her head as I hover over her. Lust is back full force in her eyes. She watches me, waiting for my next move, and I linger for a moment. With my hands gripping her possessively, I run them down her arms to her sides and then down her sides, kissing the dandelion on her hip.
Her breaths are soft pants of anticipation, mingling with the rain pounding on the house. I slip my fingers underneath the waistband of her jeans.
“Lift your hips.”
She does, and I yank them down, the task extra hard thanks to them being wet. I'm seriously having to peel them off her. The air is sucked from my lungs when I see she isn't wearing any underwear. I glance at her as she sits up on her elbows to watch me, and she smirks. Her pants sit at her knees as I move off the bed to take off her shoes and socks before finally removing them completely. She's completely captivated me.
“There's a box of condoms in the drawer,” I say with a nod to the small table next to my bed. “Get it.”
While Ryan reaches over for that, I take off my pants and boxer briefs. She rips the packaging, holding the ultra-thin condom in her hand. Her eyes never leave my erection as I get back on the bed, lying down next to her. Without a word, I take her hand and pull it towards me. Knowing what I want, she straddles me.
“Put it on,” I tell her.
She doesn't hesitate. Her touch nearly drives me over the edge as she rolls the condom down my shaft. Those green eyes flick up at me, waiting for me to tell her what to do next. I like being in control, but I would like for Ryan to think she's the one in control. I sit up, curl a finger under her chin, and pull her to me. I press my lips to hers, my hands reaching for the back of her thighs to tug her upwards just a little. That's all Ryan needs from me.
Her hand reaches down between us, taking my cock, and moving up and down twice before she guides my tip to enter her. Ryan lowers herself on me, a guttural groan erupting from her throat. God, she feels so good. Drops of water drip from the tips of her hair onto my chest, and she leans down to lick them off quickly. She braces her hands on my chest, moving her hips with the guidance of my hands. Ryan's slow at first, but once she finds a rhythm, she rides me hard and fast. Her breasts bounce, and I leave her hips to grasp them.
“Oh, fuck,” she breathes. Her back arches as she tightens around me. Not yet, Ryan, I think with a sudden urge to see her back and those tattoos beneath me.
I grab her hips hard, so she can't move. She looks a little dazed as if she's lost in sex. I lift her off me, my hard cock swaying as I set her down next to me.
“Hands and knees, Ryan,” I demand.
She falls forward onto her hands, her breasts swinging from the movement. She already has her knees apart and waiting. I get off the bed and walk to the end, reaching forward to grab her hips, and pull her back. A yelp of surprise escapes her. With my fingers at the base of my shaft, I tease her by pushing in with my tip, pulling out and slipping further past it. By the third time, she moans almost angrily.
Over her shoulder, she says, “You really are a damn tease, aren't you?”
I chuckle, my tip barely inside her when I swiftly push all the way in. The comforter bunches under her grip, and she cries out. Ryan constricts around me. My fingertips curl into her skin on her hips as I tightly hold her in place as I begin to thrust, pulling out slowly, but driving in hard. Her tattoos on her back look lovely, a perfect view. Ryan starts pushing backwards against my thrusts, causing us to crash into one another.
The pressure builds, and I lose control as I bury myself into her repeatedly. Ryan gets tighter and tighter before she screams out with her climax, pulsing around me, and I come. My energy drains in my legs as we fall forward onto the bed, utterly and happily spent.
Chapter Eight
Ryan
I can't believe we just had sex. It was even better than the first time, and I loved that he was in control most of the time. It's different than what I'm used to, but I really liked it. Gabe got up to throw away the condom awhile ago, and now we're still lying in bed. I'm on my stomach, and his fingertips gently glide over my back tattoos as if it's a road and he needs to go down each one. Then I feel his lips press a kiss to my shoulder blade, right where my hummingbird should be. I look over my shoulder at him to see that his eyes are completely captivated by the path his fingers are on. For some reason, that causes me to laugh softly.
“Gabe, you act like you've never seen a tattoo,” I tease.
His eyes flick up to me, but then return to my back. “It's not that. I'm simply fascinated by yours, and I'm just now getting the chance to appreciate them.”
“Why don't you get one?”
His hand stops and lies flat on
my back as he places all of his attention on me. Gabe's eyes ever so slightly widen. He almost seems to be considering it, but then he shakes his head. “My mother would never let me in her house again.”
I roll over, his hand coming to lay on my stomach now. He glances at my exposed breasts for a moment. “You're worried about your mother?” I question with laughter in my voice, lifting an eyebrow at him.
Those skillful lips fall in a frown. “I care about what she thinks, Ryan.”
“So you're ready for her to meet me?”
Gabe looks at me with contempt, his lips in a stubborn line, which clearly tells me he isn't. I'm happy about that. After meeting his father, I rather not meet Gabe's mother. Before he can come up with an excuse, I continue.
“I think you should go with me to get my next one, and you should get one too.”
“I don't want one.”
“Really? You've never ever wanted to get a tattoo or are you hiding behind your mother's rules?”
“I'm twenty-five,” he starts in rebuttal.
“And a goody-two shoes. C'mon, Gabe. Get a tattoo with me.” The more I thought about it, the more I wanted him to have one. He would be even hotter with one.
His now dry curls shake with his head. “No. I don't want something on my body forever if you break my heart.” Gabe smiles to soften his blow, but it doesn't bother me one bit.
“I don't want you to get anything related to me, Gabe. Jeesh. Tattoos are supposed to mean something to whoever gets it. All you would have to do is think of something that is so important to you that you want it to decorate your body.”
“Are you saying my body needs to improve?” He smirks.
“Are you avoiding my question?”
You Before Me Page 11
