Or am I once again trusting a girl, expecting her to be one way, when she's really the opposite? No, I don't believe that. On some level, I think we both know she's mine. She said herself that she didn't sleep with those guys because of me. I still think that it's too soon for her to meet my mother, but I've hated that I haven't been around her much lately. I've missed her honestly. I wish she would have told me about her birthday. Is it because her parents ruined that for her as well? That doesn't explain why she wouldn't have told me, though. Maybe I've just been too busy, so she didn't mention it.
Ryan is on my mind for the rest of my shift. I'm so ready to see her tomorrow, especially after seeing her tonight.
* * *
It's three in the afternoon when I come to stand outside of Ryan's apartment, knocking on her door. Her hair is thrown up in a high ponytail, and she's wearing black sweats with a blue hoodie. She groans when she see me.
“Sorry, Gabe,” she says when I raise an eyebrow at her. “But seeing you means I wasn't imagining last night. C'mon in.” Ryan steps aside so I can walk inside.
“You remember?”
“Unfortunately.” Ryan sits down on the couch, and I sit next to her. “Which are you most upset about? That I was so drunk I didn't even know we didn't take my car and that I shouldn't have been drinking because I'm underage? The four boys I could have slept with? That I didn't tell you about my birthday? Or what about the fact that I embarrassed you in front of your partner? All of the above?” She glances at me nervously.
Yeah, the boys irk me, but that isn't what bothers me the most. “Your birthday. Why didn't you tell me, Ryan?”
She shrugs. “It's just another day, Gabe.”
I pick up her hand that's resting in her lap. “C'mere.” Once I've tugged her into my lap with her sitting sideways, I continue. “It's not 'just another day'. It's your birthday and a big one too. The great 2-0, no longer a teenager.”
Ryan seems confused. “Why does it matter? You were working, so you wouldn't have been able to celebrate with me. Hell, I wasn't really celebrating by birthday anyway. I was dressed and partying because it was Halloween.”
For a moment, all I can manage is a frown. Before I can speak, Ryan nudges her shoulder against mine.
“Shouldn't we be having hot sex right now? I haven't seen you in forever.”
Just the mention of how long it's been since we've had sex, makes my dick hard, and Ryan grins. I shake my head to force those thoughts away. “No. We shouldn't.” Ryan loses her smile. “What's wrong with your birthday, Ryan?”
She tenses, wrung tightly like that day her mother was here. Ryan gets up, walks to the door, and opens it, thoroughly confusing me. Her voice has no fight whatsoever in it. She sounds tired, really. “Just get the hell out. Please.”
What am I missing? “Ryan,” I start as I get up, but she cuts me off.
“Leave, Gabe. I was drunk and honestly, I wish I had never told you it was my birthday. Forget about it. Once you have, then you are more than welcome to come find me.” She sweeps her arm dramatically to the outside, impatient that I haven't left yet. I'm stunned in place. “Gabe,” she painfully whispers. “Please.”
I search her eyes for clues, but she's closed off more than ever. Ryan is nowhere to be found in those green depths. I don't know if I should leave or demand her to tell me what's going on. The seconds pass as I stand here, and I know that her fierce exterior is chipping away bit by bit.
“No, I'm not leaving,” I finally manage.
Her jaw drops, but it quickly closes as she finds her words. “You have to. You're a fucking cop, Gabe! Surely, you know that if I ask you to leave, you have to go.”
Ryan's anger doesn't scare me. I pluck her fingers off the doorknob and close the door. “You're letting all the cold air in.” This time, it's her who is stunned speechless, so I lead her back to the couch, pulling her into my lap once more. Once my arms are securely around her, I say, “Now, tell me what's going on.”
Her eyes search mine, much like I did earlier. I don't know what she's looking for, but she slowly starts to relax into me, resting her forehead on my shoulder, resigned. For a long time, Ryan doesn't say anything, and I don't push her. When she does speak, her voice is strained.
“I didn't even know what a birthday party was until I started school and a kid's parents brought cake to class for a party. I mean, I knew that there was a certain day of the year that I was born, but celebrating it was completely foreign to me. I never had a party or presents or anything like that. My grandmother would always take me out or we would go shopping around my birthday, though. She would never say that was why we went. I think she wanted to, but she wasn't one to go against my parents even if she disagreed. She and my mother didn't have the best relationship, and she probably didn't want to make things worse.
“Anyway, it sort of makes sense because my parents bought me whatever I wanted throughout the year. They were always really busy with work too. Besides, sharing a birthday with Halloween meant I got to dress up and go trick or treating, so it worked out. Long story short, I didn't tell you because we don't celebrate birthdays. Not in a traditional sense. We give each other birthday cards with a bit of money inside, and that's it.”
My heart tears for her. How fucked up is her family? I don't understand why they wouldn't do something for the day they were born. I kiss the top of her head, feeling a tear fall onto the bare skin between my neck and t-shirt.
“Are you satisfied now?” Her voice is monotone.
“That you talked to me? Yes.” An idea forms, but I decide to change the subject. “Why did you pick a saloon girl costume?”
Ryan laughs, not expecting that. She sits up to look at me. With the pad of my thumbs, I wipe away her silent tears. “I love watching old TV shows like Bonanza, The Rifleman, The Big Valley. You get the gist. So that's what I wanted to be. How hot was I? Well, I was before I was wasted.” She chuckles.
I make a show of looking at my watch on my wrist. “You're always hot, Ryan. I need to go.”
She frowns. “Dinner with your family?”
“Yeah,” I lie. Well, sort of. I'm supposed to go, but I'm going to cancel. “I'll text you when I leave, and you can spend the night at my place?”
“I have class tomorrow.”
“I have work,” I deadpan. C'mon, Ryan. Don't let me down. “Besides, I thought you wanted hot sex?” I smirk.
She laughs, playfully hitting me in the arm. “Fine. I guess I could come over. Better make it worth my while, Officer.” Ryan gives me a swift kiss.
“I will.”
After our goodbyes and a heady kiss, I leave for my secret mission. I run around town like a crazy person, searching for everything I want. Two and a half hours later, I examine my handiwork back at home. Ryan should be here any moment. Speak of the devil, I think as I hear a door shut outside. I walk out to greet her, so this can work just as I want.
“Hey, Gabe,” she grins, hoisting her bag over her shoulder. Her hair is down, and she's changed since I saw her earlier. She's now wearing jeans, an orange v-neck sweater, and a scarf hangs loosely around her neck.
“Hey,” I greet, taking her bag from her. “I have a surprise for you.”
“You do?” She asks, confused.
“Yep. Close your eyes. I'll lead you inside.”
Her eyes close instantly, but she says, “What have you done, Gabe?”
I place my hand over her eyes, just to be sure she doesn't peek. Her eyelashes tickle my palm. “Close your eyes,” I repeat. When the fluttering stops, I place my free hand on the small of her back, leading her towards the door. “Two steps right in front of you,” I tell her. She walks up the steps. “Reach for the door, please.”
Ryan giggles and blindly sticks her hand out to find the doorknob. I instruct her until her fingers curl around the knob. She opens it and then steps inside.
“Ready?” I'm suddenly nervous of what her reaction will be.
“Yep.”
> My hand falls away. I step next to her to see what she thinks. Her lips part as she takes in her surroundings. My house has been transformed. There are streamers hanging from the ceiling from the kitchen into the living room, balloons floating everywhere. In the middle of the kitchen, a seahorse piñata, which took forever to find, is hanging. There's a cake sitting on my table with chips and Happy Birthday plates waiting to be used along with two of those cone hats kids wear sometimes. Ryan steps further into the house and towards the living room, seeing a game of Pin the Tail on the Donkey and more party favors. On my end table, there are bubbles waiting to be blown, silly string, and even a mini pool set.
Ryan swivels to face me, awe written over her features. “What's this?” She asks softly, carefully.
I shrug nonchalantly. “I wanted to give you the birthday party you never had.” This seems like such a dumb idea now. No way Ryan will go for this. But she slowly starts to smile.
“What do we do first?”
And that starts our journey of becoming kids again. Ryan wanted to do the piñata first and while she wore the blindfold, I gave her instructions on where to swing. She missed the first time, swinging entirely too low thanks to what I told her, and I sprayed her with silly string, causing her to giggle and squeal my name.
“So close. Just a bit higher,” I lie.
She misses again, and I laugh, spraying her again. We do this a couple more times before I come behind her and help, breaking the seahorse in half. I hold Ryan by the waist and turn her away, so I can grab the candy for myself, causing more giggles to bubble out of her. We play all the games, blow bubbles, and engage in a silly string fight, making an absolute mess of my house. But it's tons of fun, and Ryan hasn't stopped smiling since she walked into the house.
“Okay! Okay!” she surrenders from behind my couch as I crouch behind the recliner. “You win! I want cake now.” She peers over the couch, and I can see that she has the green silly string all tangled in her red hair. “Truce?” She questions.
“All right. Truce.” As I stand up, Ryan runs for the kitchen, spraying me on her way, laughing. “Shame on you, Ryan,” I chuckle, pulling it off my face. She slides into the chair, and I set my cans down. I was empty anyway.
“C'mon! Time for cake, Gabe.”
I find a knife and two spoons and retrieve the ice cream, going ahead and taking off the lid. Ryan asks to cut the cake, so I let her. She cuts a large slice and puts it on the plate. I raise my eyebrows when she slides it over in front of me before getting up to squeeze between the table and me to straddle my lap.
“Do I get to make special requests?” She asks, running her hands down my chest.
“Of course. Whatever you want, Ryan.”
She smiles, reaching behind her to slide the plate over further so she can access it better. Ryan gets a spoonful of cake and waits for me to open my mouth. I do, completely turned on by the fact that she's feeding me. Ryan watches me, seemingly fascinated before handing the spoon to me.
“Your turn.”
I lean forward, pressing her between me and the table as I tug the ice cream closer. “Vanilla, chocolate, or strawberry?” I ask.
“All three.”
Chuckling, I manage to get a small bit of all three onto the spoon, lifting it to her lips. She sucks the ice cream off the spoon with more force than necessary, and I shake my head at her, smiling. We keep going back and forth until the slice of cake is gone, and the ice cream has melted puddles around the edges of the container.
Ryan takes the spoon from me, setting it on the paper plate. “Thank you, Gabe. I don't even know what to think. Did you do this instead of going to your parents?” She wraps her arms around my neck, her fingers playing with some of my curls.
I rest my hands on her hips. “Yeah. Mom wasn't happy that I cancelled last minute, but she'll understand.” I curl my fingers into her back. “I wanted to do this for you.”
She rests her forehead on mine, her eyes closed. “Best birthday ever,” she says quietly. When her eyes flash open, they are watery, causing me to notice her shallow, cautious breathing as if she's trying not to cry. “Gabe, I-” her voice falters, struggling with whatever she wants to say. Her mouth closes and opens several times, but nothing more comes out, so I decide to ease the tension.
“It may be your party, but you're going to have to clean this mess up because I'm not going to do it,” I tell her, pulling a piece of silly string from her hair.
Ryan barks out a laugh just as I hoped. “That's so wrong.”
“Just kidding.” I pause. “Sort of.” Ryan giggles, and I push her hair behind her ear. “Ready for your hot birthday sex now?”
Her eyes darken with desire, her laughing halts immediately, but she shakes her head. “Maybe later.” That is unusual for Ryan. With a blink of the eye, her desire is gone, and so many emotions take its place.
“Tell me what you're thinking.”
Ryan takes a deep breath. “You really want to know?”
“Absolutely.”
She almost looks nervous for a moment. It quickly disappears. I love that she looks directly at me, whether she's nervous or not. She's going to face it head on. Finally, she mutters, “I was thinking about us and how... how this, us, scares me a little.”
For probably the first time ever, Ryan doesn't ramble on. She waits for me to say something. I wish she would babble endlessly to explain herself.
“You're going to have to give me more than that, Ryan. What do you mean?”
She shakes her head. “Nothing. Everything. I don't know. Thank you again for today,” she repeats, changing the subject. “It means a lot that you did this for me.”
I try to decide if I should press her or not, but her phone rings from across the room. Ryan makes no move to get it. Her eyes don't leave me. I wonder if she wants me to pry further. She doesn't give me a chance to make a decision.
“Can we go watch a movie?” She glances into the living room. “Maybe in your room, so we don't have to clean up yet?”
“Yeah, you're in charge, remember?”
Ryan stands, and I follow her into the bedroom after putting the ice cream away. I prop some pillows against the headboard before lying down with the remote, turning on the TV. Ryan cuddles up to me, resting her head on my chest as I search for a horror movie. Once I find one, I set the remote down next to me, idly running my hands through her hair, pulling out silly string along the way. Ryan becomes immersed in the movie, but my mind is elsewhere.
How do we scare her? What was she about to say before that? I'm full of unanswered questions. While I'm thinking, my hand leaves her hair and the tips of my fingers skim down her back, finding a sliver of bare skin from where her shirt rode up a bit. I'm so happy I decided to do this for her. It wouldn't have happened if I hadn't have made her told me though. She deserved to have a party, especially one like this that was full of child-play.
Ryan lifts her head to look at me, distracting me from my thoughts. Lust has taken over once more. She grabs the remote and turns off the movie, the end credits disappearing into blackness. Ryan straddles me, sitting upright. The hem of her shirt bunches in her fingers as she pulls it up and over her head. Ryan throws it aside, leaning down to kiss me.
“I'm ready for my hot birthday sex, Gabe,” she whispers, kissing along my bearded jaw. Ryan grazes her teeth over my ear.
I roll us over, so I hover above her. Ryan's gloriously red hair is splayed across my pillows. Right then, I decided that we're not going to have hot birthday sex. We're going to make slow, deliciously scorching love. With every ounce of emotion in me, I kiss her. Ryan sighs into my mouth. I run my tongue along her teeth, already lost. Ryan sucks on the tip of my tongue before swiping hers against it. My hands turn into fists on either side of her shoulders. Abandoning her mouth, I settle between her legs, grinding against her as I kiss her shoulder to her collarbone. Then I dip my head inward to kiss the swells of her breasts.
“Take off your pants,” I mur
mur, lifting myself back off her. I hover as if I'm about to do a push up while Ryan quickly works underneath me to remove her pants. “Bra too.” Once Ryan is completely naked, my eyes rake over her body. God, she's beautiful. I move so I'm only half laying on her, leaving part of her exposed.
Ryan hungrily brings my face back to hers so she can kiss me. I cup my hand over her between her legs. She inhales with surprise. My fingers brush over her, feeling how wet she is already. My middle finger runs between her folds before sinking lower, inserting into her. Ryan's leg between my legs moves, brushing against my erection and making me groan into her mouth. Leaving that behind, I travel to give special attention to her breasts, slowing moving my finger inside her.
Just as I take her nipple into mouth, I push in another finger. Ryan tightens around them, and I smile. I tug her nipple between my teeth and pull until it pops out, moving more vigorously inside her.
“Fuck, Gabe.” She claws at my shirt, wanting to take it off. “I want you now.”
Chuckling, I have no problem giving her what she wants. “Get the condom.” I lift my chin towards the side table. She's got it in her hands, ripping the wrapper before I can unbutton my jeans. I take them off and I'm on my knees beside her. Ryan sits up and rolls the condom on me. She strokes me a few times. I love how I feel in her hand.
“Lay down, legs open wide.”
I move in between her legs, quickly entering her. Ryan hooks her legs around my waist, lifting to have more of me. I put my hand low on her belly and push her back down. She lets out a low whimper, only the tip of me inside her now. Leaning down, I kiss her and begin to move deliberately slow. Ryan attempts to push me further and harder with her calves, but it doesn't work. The hand on her stomach moves lower to rub her clit.
You Before Me Page 14
