Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Acknowledgements
CHAPTER 1 - For Whom the Bell Tolls
CHAPTER 2 - The Sound and the Fury
CHAPTER 3 - Remembrance of Things Past
CHAPTER 4 - Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland
CHAPTER 5 - All Quiet on the Western Front
CHAPTER 6 - To Kill a Mockingbird
CHAPTER 7 - The Picture of Dorian Gray
CHAPTER 8 - The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde
CHAPTER 9 - Look Homeward, Angel
CHAPTER 10 - Catch-22
CHAPTER 11 - The Sun Also Rises
CHAPTER 12 - Crime and Punishment
CHAPTER 13 - Brave New World
CHAPTER 14 - The Turn of the Screw
CHAPTER 15 - Pride and Prejudice
CHAPTER 16 - Les Misérables
CHAPTER 17 - The Call of the Wild
CHAPTER 18 - The Invisible Man
CHAPTER 19 - Sense and Sensibility
CHAPTER 20 - Of Human Bondage
CHAPTER 21 - All the King’s Men
CHAPTER 22 - Lady Chatterley’s Lover
CHAPTER 23 - The Scarlet Letter
CHAPTER 24 - The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter
EPILOGUE
Teaser chapter
Denise Swanson
Kate Collins
Leann Sweeney
Other Scumble River Mysteries
Praise for the
Scumble River Mystery Series
Murder of a Wedding Belle
“The latest carefully crafted installment...features a charming heroine who is equally skilled at juggling detection and romance.”
—Chicago Tribune
“Yet another winner. A great group of characters surround protagonist Skye Denison. . . . This series always brings a smile and this one is loads of fun.”
—CrimeSpree Magazine
“Ms. Swanson is quite crafty . . . a tightly woven mystery [and] page-turning read.”
—Once Upon a Romance Reviews
“This book was very hard to put down. I enjoyed it tremendously and highly recommend it.”
—Gumshoe
Murder of a Royal Pain
“Denise Swanson’s Scumble River mysteries are always fun to read . . . a strong whodunit with solid twists.”
—Midwest Book Review
“A trip to Scumble River is like visiting with old friends . . . another entry into a fine series that is sure to be on most must-read lists.”
—The Mystery Reader
“Scumble River mysteries are well constructed, well written, and each one is better than the last—and they’re just plain fun to read. Readers of cozy mysteries who haven’t read Denise Swanson’s books are in for a real treat when they do.”
—Cozy Library
Murder of a Chocolate-Covered Cherry
“Denise Swanson neatly seasons the cleverly crafted plot of Murder of a Chocolate-Covered Cherry with a generous dash of romance as Skye’s relationship with Scumble River’s police chief, Wally Boyd, continues to simmer neatly along.”
—Chicago Tribune
“Top-notch storytelling with truly unique and wonderful characters.”
—CrimeSpree Magazine
Murder of a Botoxed Blonde
“With its endearing hero, terrific cast of realistically quirky secondary characters, and generous soupçon of humor, Murder of a Botoxed Blonde . . . is a delight.”
—Chicago Tribune
“Tight plotting and plenty of surprises keep this series on my must-read list.”
—CrimeSpree Magazine
Murder of a Real Bad Boy
“Swanson is a born storyteller.”
—CrimeSpree Magazine
“Another knee-slapping adventure in Scumble River.”
—The Amplifier (KY)
Murder of a Smart Cookie
“[Swanson] smartly spins on a solid plot and likable characters.”
—South Florida Sun-Sentinel
“[A] hilarious amateur sleuth mystery. . . . [Swanson] has a lot of surprises in store for the reader.”
—Midwest Book Review
Murder of a Pink Elephant
“The must-read book of the summer.”
—Butler County Post (KY)
“Current readers will appreciate the trip into Scumble River, while new readers will want to go back.”
—The Best Reviews
Murder of a Barbie and Ken
“Swanson continues her lively, light, and quite insightful look at small-town life.”
—The Hartford Courant
“Another side-splitting visit to Scumble River . . . filled with some of the quirkiest and most eccentric characters we ever have met, with a sharp, witty protagonist.”
—Butler County Post (KY)
Murder of a Snake in the Grass
“An endearing and realistic character . . . a fast-paced, enjoyable read.”
—The Herald News (MA)
“This book is delightful. . . . The characters are human and generous and worth following through the series.”
—Mysterious Woman
Murder of a Sleeping Beauty
“A smooth, pleasant, and ultimately satisfying book.”
—Chicago Tribune
“Another delightful and intriguing escapade.”
—Mystery News
Murder of a Sweet Old Lady
“More fun than the whirlagig at the county fair and tastier than a corn dog.”
—The Charlotte Austin Review
“Swanson is on her way to the top of the genre . . . a magnificent tale written by a wonderful author.”
—Midwest Book Review
Murder of a Small-Town Honey
“Bounces along with gently wry humor and jaunty twists and turns. The quintessential amateur sleuth: bright, curious, and more than a little nervy.”
—Agatha Award–winning author Earlene Fowler
“A likable new heroine reminiscent of some of our favorite childhood detectives—with a little bit of an edge.”
—The Charlotte Austin Review
“A charming, insightful debut.”
—Carolyn Hart
Other Scumble River Mysteries
Murder of a Wedding Belle
Murder of a Royal Pain
Murder of a Chocolate-Covered Cherry
Murder of a Botoxed Blonde
Murder of a Real Bad Boy
Murder of a Smart Cookie
Murder of a Pink Elephant
Murder of a Barbie and Ken
Murder of a Snake in the Grass
Murder of a Sleeping Beauty
Murder of a Sweet Old Lady
Murder of a Small-Town Honey
OBSIDIAN
Published by New American Library, a division of
Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street,
New York, New York 10014, USA
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Penguin Books Ltd., Registered Offices:
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First published by Obsidian, an imprint of New American Library,
a division of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
First Printing, March 2011
Copyright © Denise Swanson Stybr, 2011
All rights reserved
OBSIDIAN and logo are trademarks of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.
PUBLISHER’S NOTE
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party Web sites or their content.
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ISBN : 978-1-101-56503-2
http://us.penguingroup.com
To all my Alpha Sigma Alpha sisters, especially the
Chicago West Alumnae Chapter
Acknowledgments
Thank you to Valerie McCaffrey for helping me figure out Chase’s profession and for Skye’s great vintage belt. Thanks also to Melissa Kantor for allowing me to use her book If I Have a Wicked Stepmother, Where’s My Prince? Hugs to my new grandnephew, Ethan Graham, and my new niece-in-law, Natalie Beckham Vanderhyden.
Author’s Note
In July 2000, when the first book in my Scumble River series, Murder of a Small-Town Honey, was published, it was written in “real time.” It was the year 2000 in Skye’s life as well as mine, but after several books in a series, time becomes a problem. It takes me from seven months to a year to write a book, and then it is usually another year from the time I turn that book in to my editor until the reader sees it on a bookstore shelf. This can make the time line confusing. Different authors handle this matter in different ways. After a great deal of deliberation, I decided that Skye and her friends and family will age more slowly than those of us who don’t live in Scumble River. While I made this decision as I wrote the fourth book in the series, Murder of a Snake in the Grass, I didn’t realize until recently that I needed to share this information with my readers. So, to catch everyone up, the following is when the books take place:
Murder of a Small-Town Honey—August 2000
Murder of a Sweet Old Lady—March 2001
Murder of a Sleeping Beauty—April 2002
Murder of a Snake in the Grass—August 2002
Murder of a Barbie and Ken—November 2002
Murder of a Pink Elephant—February 2003
Murder of a Smart Cookie—June 2003
Murder of a Real Bad Boy—September 2003
Murder of a Botoxed Blonde—November 2003
Murder of a Chocolate-Covered Cherry—April 2004
Murder of a Royal Pain—October 2004
Murder of a Wedding Belle—June 2005
Murder of a Bookstore Babe—September 2005
The Scumble River short story and novella take place:
“Not a Monster of a Chance” from And the Dying Is Easy—June 2001
“Dead Blondes Tell No Tales” from Drop-Dead Blonde—March 2003
Scumble River is not a real town. The characters and events portrayed in these pages are entirely fictional, and any resemblance to living persons is pure coincidence.
CHAPTER 1
For Whom the Bell Tolls
When Skye Denison saw an ad in the local newspaper announcing Tales and Treats’ grand opening that weekend, she was thrilled. For a voracious reader like Skye, the luxury of having shelves and shelves of new, used, and rare books for sale just five minutes from home was nirvana. And the promise of specialty coffees, gourmet teas, and yummy pastries just added to her elation.
What she didn’t realize was that the store had already managed to ruffle the fur of several of Scumble River’s most vocal citizens. She should have known there’d be some kind of fuss about any new business that set up shop in her prickly hometown.
Like cats, the inhabitants of the small tight-knit community weren’t partial to change, and they often showed their displeasure in spiteful and destructive ways. While the old-timers probably wouldn’t pee in the interlopers’ shoes, they might very well produce some obscure law that made their kind of footwear taboo.
Skye got her first inkling of the unrest on Friday afternoon in the high school’s break room. Normally she didn’t frequent the lounge because the main form of entertainment there was gossip. The confidential nature of her job as the school psychologist meant she couldn’t contribute, and this seriously ticked off many of the teachers. To forestall the problem, Skye usually ate at her desk.
Today, however, was different. Today, there was cake. And not just any kind of cake. It was Skye’s favorite: chocolate with vanilla buttercream icing. What a shame that it was Pru Cormorant’s birthday cake, and that Pru was the person Skye liked least of all her colleagues.
Still, Skye refused to let that deter her. When her conscience insisted it was wrong to eat cake honoring someone she detested, and who detested her, she promised the annoying little voice a pink-frosting rose to shut up. Once she had quieted that troublemaker, Skye continued on her quest for the delectable confection.
Since the lounge was crowded during the two lunch periods, and she didn’t want to get in the way of the staff—who had only twenty minutes to wolf down their food—Skye waited until they had finished and were back in class before making her move. Her plan was to zip in, grab a piece of cake, and savor it back in her office while she started on all the special-education paperwork connected with the beginning of the school year.
Slipping through the doorway, Skye scanned the room, then darted forward. There it was, in the exact middle of the three metal tables that ran end to end down the center of the room. Intent on the double-layered hunk of ecstasy, half of which was already gone, she pushed aside one of the orange molded-plastic chairs that lined both sides of the tables and reached for the knife lying on the crumb-filled serving platter.
Just as her fingers closed around the handle, an ominous voice, the last in the universe she wanted to hear, said, “Having a late lunch?”
Skye whirled around. Pru Cormorant sat on the sofa, her arms along the back and a derisive look on her face. How could Skye have missed seeing her there? She didn’t exactly blend into the surroundings. Pru’s stick-like limbs stuck out at awkward angles from her egg-shaped body, and her too-small head appeared in danger of tumbling off her neck if she made any sudden moves.
“It’s not late for me.” Reluctantly putting down the knife, Skye felt a guilty flush creeping up her neck. “I often see kids during the regular lunch hours.” Not that she had today, but Pru didn’t need to know that.
The English teacher trailed a finger along the top of the couch, which was covered in a prickly plaid fabric that Skye suspected could withstand a direct nuclear hit. “We don’t see you in here very often.”
“No.” Skye pasted a fake smile on her face. “I guess not.”
“Then you must have stopped by especially to wish me a hap
py birthday. How sweet of you.” Pru gave a malicious little laugh. “I’m sure it wasn’t just for the cake.” She lasered a look at the two-carat diamond on Skye’s left hand. “Particularly since you’re almost certainly on a diet for your wedding.”
Skye’s engagement to Wally Boyd, the Scumble River police chief, had been the talk of the town since June, when she had accepted his proposal and begun wearing his ring. That her ex-boyfriend, Simon Reid, was doing everything in his power to change her mind about marrying the chief wasn’t helping to quell the chatter.
Simon’s plea last week had been delivered in the middle of the school parking lot by a white knight on horseback, which had really stirred up the rumor mill. Skye had always liked her ex’s quirky sense of humor, but she was starting to rethink that opinion. Especially since he had promised that next time he would send a fire-breathing-dragon-gram.
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