She smiled as if I’d given her the best gift in the world. “I know.”
I laughed, groaning under my breath as my cock throbbed in her body. “What else do you know, Della Ribbon?”
“I know that you’re inside me. And you’re just delaying what you truly want to do.”
My eyes hooded. “And what’s that?”
“You want to fuck me.”
My entire body rippled in impending release. “Quiet. You’ll make me come.”
“Well, you shut up and fuck me.”
I thrust once, both of us hissing with searing pleasure.
“I can’t believe—” My voice hitched as I thrust again. “—we’re talking at a time like this.”
“I can’t believe you’re still talking.” Her hips rocked up, rubbing herself on me. With a sexy moan, she dug nails deeper into my ass. “Shut up, Ren.”
I kissed her, speaking into her lips. “You’re such a menace.”
“And you’re a tease.”
I laughed again, awed that even in this new act we could joke like old times. “Tease? Oh, I’m many things, Della, but I’m not a tease.”
My knees dug traction into the leaf-littered earth, driving into her again, deep, so deep.
Her head fell back, and her fingernails dug into my ass, yanking me harder into her.
I stared at her in total fucking awe.
How had I never seen?
How had I never known?
She was my other half, not just in friendship and family, but in everything else, too.
“You want me, Della Ribbon?” I murmured, my cock throbbing inside her.
“Yes. God, yes.”
I moved.
I thrust hard, driving her into the ground. “Have me.” Thrust. “Have all of me.” Thrust. “You already have my heart. Now you have my soul.”
I thrust in anger for how true that was.
I bent to kiss her again, and something snapped inside her. The same thing that’d snapped inside me. She bit me, pushing my shoulders and fighting against me to roll me onto my back.
For a second, shock rendered me pliant, and I rolled over, staying inside her, pressing her hips down onto mine. I coughed, unable to comprehend why I was on the floor instead of her.
She sat on top of me, her eyes heavy and lips swollen, and although she looked absolutely stunning with leaves crowning her tangled hair and dirt smudging her cheek, she didn’t belong up there.
She belonged beneath me.
Rolling again, I pinned her to the ground, grabbed her wrists, and slammed them above her head. My hips rolled, locking her in place. “I call the shots, Della. Not you.”
Something flared in her eyes as she struggled to free herself.
I only fucked her harder, my fingers tightening around her wrists as I thrust fast and deep. “Argue and I’ll argue back.” My face contorted with black agony as I let go a little more, biting her neck, arching my hips until every inch of me pounded into her. “Then again, fight. Let’s see what happens if you do.”
A look of rebellion etched her face, then melted into pure, glittering lust. “You think you’re punishing me?” Whatever fight had been there siphoned into utmost surrender. “Ren, you’re giving me exactly what I need.”
Something hot twisted in my belly, bathing in her submission.
The need to own every part of her made me slip straight into the animalistic aggression I tried to hide.
I couldn’t stop it.
I’d never been able to stop it.
But with her so beautiful and aroused beneath me—fighting back, matching my thrusts, biting me, scratching me—I’d found my equal.
I’d found home.
“What are you doing to me, Della?” Rearing up, I ploughed into her. Not caring she inched upward, dislodging twigs and leaves with each thrust. My knees burned from digging into earth. My back cramped for bowing into her, forcing everything I could inside her. “I promised I’d never hurt you. And now you’ve driven me to the worst.”
I was a rough lover, but this…seeing her come undone in the most basic way possible, covered in earth with the scent of nature all around us, I lost it.
Dropping on top of her, I didn’t care she bore my full weight or that I’d trapped her, smothered her, captured her.
She was mine, and she’d take what I gave her.
“Hurt me because nothing has felt this good in my life.”
Grabbing her around the neck, I kissed her furious and vicious. My fingers twitched to squeeze. My nails ached to mark.
“Make me come, Ren. Please make me come.” She moaned as I drove into her with all the finesse of a raging bull.
Burrowing my face into the crook of her neck, I drove again and again. “You’ve ruined me. Fuck, you’ve ruined me.” Harder and harder I rode her until the forest was full of skin slapping and animals rutting.
She cried out as I thrust faster, crueller, driven by her fight and surrender.
“Della.” My forehead crashed against hers as I panted and raged, wanting to climb deeper, cursing her and myself. “Fuck.”
Pinching her wrists with my left hand, my right soared down her body, squeezing her breast with nasty fingers before finding the place where we were joined.
We were wet and messy and scorching hot.
It turned me on.
Christ, it turned me on.
I couldn’t catch my breath as I found her clit and rubbed.
Her back snapped up. “Oh, God!”
“Shut up. Just shut up.” I rubbed harder, all while plunging my tongue into her mouth in time to the plunging between her legs.
Her nails punctured my ass, riding with me as I rode her.
Every roll and twist and thrust of my hips, she matched me until I didn’t know who fucked who.
Leaves flew. Birds scattered. And it was no longer about love but war.
“Ren!” Her body tightened, her legs spasmed around my hips, and the delicious heat of her pulsed with release.
I lost everything that made me human.
I only lived to make love to this woman.
I only existed to be hers.
My orgasm brewed full of pain and exquisite intensity, pushing me over the edge.
We clawed and cried and thrust and fucked, and my entire world changed being inside her. My soul switched owners as the thunderstorm that had teased me from the beginning finally found its matching cloud and erupted into existence.
My release ripped howls from my chest, vows from my heart, and promises from my soul. And I knew, without a shadow of a fucking doubt, I would never be whole again unless I had Della.
She was it for me.
I belonged to myself no more.
I’d officially handed over my life, and I was done fighting.
Forever.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
DELLA
* * * * * *
2031
A NEW MANUSCRIPT, a new page, a new story.
It’s been a long time since I wrote down our tale. Too long since I’ve felt the keys of a laptop beneath my fingers and sat alone with my memories.
So many, many memories.
To be honest, I don’t even know where to begin.
I did scribble now and again into that tatty notebook I took with me, but once Ren and I slept together, I forgot about everything else.
I didn’t need anything else.
It was like the past story of our lives was over, and we had a new story to look forward to.
Does that make sense? It was the end of an era. Forbidden, unrequited love no more.
I will admit that I worried a little once we finally ‘did the deed.’ I worried that Ren would struggle with our new connection. I worried we’d still have roadblocks to overcome.
I needn’t have worried.
Once Ren took me on that forest floor, filling me so full and hard that I had external and internal bruises for days, he committed himself to everything he’d been fighting.<
br />
His protectiveness became fiercer. His love deeper. His commitment truer than it had ever been.
That first time—that magical time—we both walked away (or rather limped) with cuts and scrapes and a togetherness that meant we could barely stop touching long enough to put up the tent.
From that moment on, we were insatiable.
Desperate and hungry and crazily in love.
Being in love with Ren Wild…words can’t do it justice.
When he finally took me—when he finally woke up and saw he wasn’t the only one with a wildness inside him—we reached a level that sometimes scared me.
The depth of love I felt for him.
The depth of love he felt for me.
It demanded our hearts beat to the same rhythm, our bodies be near, our minds be in-tune, our breaths be in-sync. I’d never felt anything like it. And I still feel it today.
His fears that he was selfish and unkind when it came to sex were totally unfounded. He couldn’t accept that, after a life of doing his utmost to protect me, it was okay to be rough.
Wanting me as savagely as I wanted him didn’t make him any less of a saint.
In fact, his darker desires made perfect sense. He bent over backward to put my needs before his own, but when it came to sex, he took his own pleasure too.
And there was absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Sleeping with Ren that day in the forest was my third sexual experience, but it might as well have been my first. Where Ren treated me like a queen in every waking moment of my life, when he got me beneath him—I was his to use as he saw fit.
He snapped and growled and dominated. He swore, which he painstakingly never did. He bruised me after making a vow to protect me from everything. He took control over what he wanted rather than sacrificing everything. When he thrust, he forgot about me and became obsessed with me at the same time. And when he made me come, that was the true gift because I’d never come before.
I craved—even before I knew what I needed—to be punished.
I needed to be punished because I’d fallen in love with a man I shouldn’t, and a part of me always needed that discipline.
Only Ren understood because he had that same sin. Ren was the only one with the power to make me feel wholeheartedly female, and I worshipped that man with every inch.
I look back, and I’m actually jealous of myself. Jealous of that perfect time. Jealous of everything we were about to enjoy, endure, and explore.
There is so much I need to tell you. So many, many things.
And I will.
I’ll get around to it because I’m not leaving anything out.
I can’t, you see.
I have to write it down because I never want to forget. I never want to forget every minute of every day—not just passing flashes that make an impression.
Flashes like sleeping with Ren that first time.
Flashes like every day thereafter and every day in between.
Life is so fast and stuffed full of surprises that I’m afraid if I don’t write them down, they’ll disappear just as child amnesia deletes your earliest memories.
And it’s more than just a drive to immortalize Ren with ink on paper. It’s a necessity because these pages are our photo album.
Back when we were younger, we didn’t have the luxury of cameras and video recorders. There are no pictures of us as we grew side by side. But there are words. And they are just as special because they’re painted with all the love and connection I was feeling at the time. They not only show an image but let me borrow those emotions and relive it.
As for the other assignment—the one I was going to burn just before Ren walked back into my life? Well, that’s here beside me. Almost two decades later, and I still have it. Ink smudged and paper torn but still intact and treasured.
Ren never let me burn it.
He tucked it safe and kept all three-hundred-and-ninety-seven pages wedged in his backpack the entire time we travelled.
This story is no longer about a baby and a boy who were never meant to be family, but a woman and a man who were always destined to be soulmates.
But before I get started, I want to say a few things.
First, I’m well aware I’m breaking another writing rule. Not only am I shattering the fourth wall, but I’m also talking to you from the future. I have the benefit of knowing how this tale turns out.
I know the ending.
I know the journey we take.
And you’ll have to excuse me if I slip now and again. You’ll have to forgive me for any spoilers because it isn’t intentional. It’s hard keeping things tucked up inside, desperate for their time to shine, my fingers cramping with desire to fly over the keyboard and release sentences and descriptions of the best man I’ve ever known.
But as much as I want to just blurt out everything, to let you know what happened when we travelled back to Cherry River, to whisper the name of someone so unbelievably special, to reveal if Ren and I got married…I can’t.
It wouldn’t be fair, because like any story, there is a beginning, a middle, and an end.
You know our beginning.
You’re about to know our middle.
And our end…well, that’s not finished yet, so you’ll have to be patient.
What I can give you are incidents.
Five incidents that are crucial to this tale.
Just like I teased you with the four times Ren and I were apart, this time…there are moments.
Wonderful moments.
Horrible moments.
Moments that make up a life.
Five of them.
One, two, three, four, five.
Some I loved.
Some I hated.
One that hasn’t happened yet.
My advice?
Watch out for them.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
DELLA
* * * * * *
2018
“STOP,” I COMMANDED, slipping from the tent and stretching out the kinks in my spine. My entire body felt used and abused and oh-so-delicious.
Sex was my new favourite activity.
And I wanted a second round immediately.
But first…there was something that’d been bugging me since I saw Ren bathe in the river that first night.
“Why?” Ren turned to face me, his t-shirt dangling in his hands, low-slung cargo shorts already hiding the parts of him I wanted to explore. “What’s happened?”
Padding barefoot toward him, I ran my fingers along the visible ribs interrupting the perfect shadows of strong stomach muscles. “I’ve wanted to ask you for the past week. When did you lose all this weight?” My heart clenched, suddenly terrified. “You’re not sick, are you?”
He cupped my chin softly, his gaze molten caramel mixed with coffee. “No, I’m not sick.” His hair was longer, teasing his forehead with sable bronze thanks to summer turning the strands light.
I could stare at his perfect face with its strong nose, powerful jaw, and thick eyelashes for an eternity and still find things to love about it. “Then why can I see your ribs?”
“Because I didn’t exactly have an appetite when I left you.”
I accepted his fleeting kiss before he let me go to sling his black t-shirt over his head, hiding the skinniness that wasn’t there before. To be fair, he hadn’t eaten as much as he normally did these days. I’d put it down to the sexual tension between us and the fact that my own belly was tied up with string.
But I didn’t like seeing Ren skinny. I didn’t like feeling as if I hadn’t taken adequate care of him.
Following him as he wandered around camp, I asked, “You’re saying you didn’t eat the entire time we were apart?”
“I’m saying love was cruel, and my mind fixated on other things.” He stopped and faced me. “I didn’t want food, Della. I wanted you.”
My skin burned with pleasure.
I knew it shouldn’t, but in a way, that made me feel bet
ter. I hadn’t forgiven him yet for leaving me, or for stalking me for months and not letting me know he was back in our apartment.
Three months we wasted.
Three long, horrible months where I lived unhappily with David, unable to stop the sensation that Ren was close by, all while he crashed in our apartment alone.
“Is it bad if I say you deserved it?”
He chuckled, running his hands through his hair. “Is it wrong that I love hearing you say that?”
“Say that I’m glad you suffered?”
“I deserved to suffer.” He gave me a rueful smile. “I made you suffer by breaking my promise and leaving.”
“We both know why you did.”
“Yes, and I was selfish. I was only thinking of myself. I didn’t know how to deal with what I felt for you, and I was weak enough to run.” He coughed a little then gathered me in a hug filled with electricity and desire.
His soft lips pressed a kiss to my hairline. “Never again, Little Ribbon. You’re stuck with me.”
“And you’re stuck with me.” My smile faltered a little—just a flicker—but enough for Ren to frown.
“You okay?”
“Yes, just…you’re okay, right? You’re happy and healthy and you’ll put on weight again and stop that little cough you do sometimes?”
He grinned. “I love it when you care.”
I swatted him. “I care all the time.”
He nodded, falling serious. “Look, I had the flu while we were apart and I haven’t fully shaken the cough, that’s all. And as for putting on weight, I’ve already filled out. You make my appetite come back because I need all the energy I can to keep you satisfied.”
My cheeks pinked. “You kept me satisfied well enough last night.”
His chocolate gaze turned dark and rich. “You too.” He licked his lips. “Last night was…” He sighed with a little huff of indescribable bliss. It made my stomach flutter and heart leap for joy. “It was amazing, Della.”
He kissed me again, distracting me from another niggling question.
He noticed, nipping my bottom lip before pulling away with a resigned look. “Something else?”
The Girl and Her Ren Page 16
