by Bryce Oakley
The hot liquid burst over her tongue in a delicious array of salty and savory and rich flavors.
She moaned, covering her mouth with her hand. "Oh God, that's good," she said.
Pia nodded, grinning. She lifted her noodles on her chopsticks, slurping them into her mouth.
Zoey laughed. "This is not very attractive date food," she said, eating a mouthful of noodles. "Wait, I mean." She tried to chew her noodles quickly to be able to explain herself and backpedal away from the word date. Fuck. Freudian slip?
"Oh, I wasn't aware this was a date," Pia said with a smirk, not looking up from her pho.
Zoey blushed, shaking her head. "That's not what I meant," she said, setting her chopsticks down. "Sorry. I mean, this isn't..."
Pia held up a hand. "Don't worry about it, I'm just teasing you," she said.
Zoey quickly put more food in her mouth to resist the urge to talk anymore.
A date? Seriously? Get it together, Zoey. Game face.
"You're right though, lousy date food," Pia said with a laugh. "Or, maybe a perfect date food? Nothing could be more revealing than the way a person sips their noodles."
"True. Noodles. The great equalizer," Zoey said.
They finished their meals — neither one getting to the bottom of their bowl. Pia pushed her bowl away from her. "I always think a medium is a good idea and it is never a good idea," she said.
"Yeah, what I wouldn't give for elastic waist pants right now," Zoey said.
"I'm surprised you agreed to come eat a meal with me," Pia said.
"I ate pasta with you last night," Zoey answered in surprise, her eyebrows raising.
"No, I just mean... I'm surprised you agreed to come," Pia said.
Zoey tilted her head. "Why's that?"
"Well, you're a model. I wouldn't really think salty broth, noodles, and fried tofu was in your food repertoire," Pia said.
"I'm a musician. Sometimes people take my picture," Zoey said, waving the idea out of the air.
"You're a model signed to IMG. You're a musician and a model," Pia said.
Zoey shrugged. "I think people just like my uniqueness,” she said, gesturing to her hair and dark skin. With black and Filipino heritage from her birth parents, she often had the hunch that she was hired because of her "exotic" look — even though that word made her cringe. In fact, it made her feel more confident that she wasn’t the typical cookie cutter look.
Pia shook her head, her elbows on the table. She bit her lip, and Zoey watched as warmth took over her expression. "You're stunning," she said, her voice almost a reverent whisper.
Zoey's heart was going to beat out of her chest. Could Pia hear how loudly it was pounding? Her breath quickened. "Thanks," she said.
Pia's eyes crinkled at the edges with a smile.
"I'm not..." Zoey began, worried about how she was going to word it. "I don't date..." What was she going to say? Women? Anyone?
Pia kept her expression infuriatingly blank and didn't bother answering Zoey. "I don't want to date you," she said, and her tone was thick with meaning.
"That's..." Zoey began. Was it hot in here? She looked around, suddenly flushed. Was it the kitchen? Was the entire room on fire? She wanted to take the front of her shirt and fan it out from her body.
Pia didn't say a word. She merely watched Zoey.
The room was actually much smaller than Zoey had originally thought. Were the walls getting closer? She took a sip of her water, the condensation sticking to her palm. She pressed her damp fingers to the back of her neck.
"You okay?" Pia said, her brows furrowing ever-so-slightly.
"Yeah, I'm..." Zoey said, her throat growing thick. She swallowed, taking another drink of water. "I'm going outside."
Zoey grabbed her purse and took four large steps, shoving open the front door. The shop was along a busy road, and cars raced by, loud and too close.
The May air was hardly cooler than inside the restaurant.
Pia emerged from the shop after a moment, looking alarmed. She stood next to Zoey, holding a hand on her shoulder.
"I'm sorry, I just..." Zoey said, shaking her head.
"It's my fault," Pia began. "I shouldn't have said that. That was an asshole move."
Zoey held her hands on her hips, leaning back against the brick at the edge of the storefront. "It wasn't that," she said. "I don't think so, at least."
"I'm not trying to pressure you into anything," Pia said. "I think you're extremely attractive, and I'd like to get to know you."
"I'm not gay," Zoey said, putting up her hand as though it was a stop sign.
"Okay," Pia said slowly, looking confused.
“I’ve never dated women," Zoey continued.
Pia nodded.
"I've never even kissed a woman before..." Zoey said, waving her hand in the air. "That." Her breathing was becoming a bit more normal now that she was outside with fresh air.
"That?" Pia said, leaning against the brick beside her.
"You know," Zoey said.
Oh God, it sounded so juvenile coming out of her mouth.
She took another deep breath, her heart beginning to beat in an even, calm rhythm.
"Oh, you mean, that time you kissed me?" Pia asked, laughing.
"I didn't kiss you. You kissed me," Zoey said.
Pia nodded, the corners of her mouth curving as though she was suppressing a smile. "However you want to remember it, Zo," she said with a pointed look.
Zoey threw her hands in the air, laughing. "No way. You kissed me. I wrote an entire song about it, so don't pretend like you don't remember."
Pia turned, her hip leaning against the brick as she crossed her arms over her chest. "So, you wrote a song about our first kiss?" She asked. She looked positively mischievous.
Zoey inhaled a deep breath, trying not to go with her first instinct, which was to immediately and emphatically yell "Nuh uh."
"A stranger had never forced me to kiss them in a dark party at midnight on New Year's Eve before," Zoey said.
"Forced," Pia repeated, as though the word shocked her. "Would we call that force?"
"Maybe forced is a strong word. Coerced?" Zoey said.
"Coerced?" Pia said. "Or could we say..." She looked upward, thinking. "Persuaded in a fun, consensual way?"
Zoey raised a skeptical brow. "However you want to remember it," she said.
Playing and teasing and joking with Pia had put her in a much better mood, calming her panic.
Pia snorted, but her face turned serious. "I mean it, if you're not into this, I'll stop. I think I've just been reading the signals a little weird. Just say the word and I'll back off."
Zoey kicked her foot at the ground. This was her chance to stop whatever was going on between them. To assert that she wasn't gay. Not even a little bit gay. Not even casually queer. Lazily lesbian. Curious, even.
But... she was. Curious. Even though she hated the stereotype that she was becoming.
It didn't mean she had to tell anyone.
It didn't have to mean anything, if it did happen.
It could be their secret.
"I'm not saying that," Zoey said, raising her chin to look Pia in the eye. "I'm saying I'm not sure what's... what."
What's what? She hated the words that were coming out of her mouth. Pia deserved someone who knew what they wanted.
Pia's eyes narrowed, as though zeroing in on something she wanted terribly. "I'm going to give you a few days to think about that answer before I kiss you again," she said.
Again.
To Zoey, that sounded like a promise. Like the kind of promise she didn't know if she wanted Pia to keep.
Chapter Six
Pia
Tulip and Cricket tugged at the leash tied to her waist, pulling her forward on the well-groomed trail. Thankfully, during a weekday, the Solstice Canyon Trail near her home wasn't as packed as it typically was on the weekends.
Pia wore a hat and sunglasses and those that passed he
r made no sign that they recognized her. She posted about her dogs on Instagram, and many times, even as incognito as she dressed, a fan would notice Cricket's missing leg or Tulip's nicked ear.
They were a little hard to miss, smiling and wiggling happily at anyone who passed them.
It had been nearly a week since she had pho with Zoey, but she was still turning the conversation over and over in her head as if it was a song she couldn't unstick from her memory. She smirked, thinking that Zoey was as pervasive as Baby Shark.
Straight women were trouble. She didn't want trouble. But she also didn't want anything serious. After Elle's death, she had been walking around with only a piece of her original heart still in her chest. For such a small piece, she didn't want to risk it.
But maybe someone like Zoey was a good option. She wouldn't get attached because she wouldn't want anything serious. Whereas Pia had grown tired of always being the commitment-phobe, Zoey would surely outshine her in that category.
She pulled out her phone to text Freya.
Pia: Maybe sleeping with a straight woman is actually the answer.
Freya: No.
Pia: Maybe I'm onto something here.
Freya: No.
Pia: Give me a good reason.
Freya: Not to pull the asshole card, but think of Sheila's interview coming up in only a month. You want to be casually fucking a woman who lives in the public eye as much as ZM?
Well, fuck.
Freya had a point.
Although she was right, it was an asshole move to pull the big guns.
The thought of Sheila's interview made her stomach churn. She paused, grabbing the leashes at her waist to reign in the dogs. She knelt down, petting their heads.
She had worked so hard to get Sheila's interview to happen. Her entire career was about to hinge on that moment; she could feel it.
Some little voice in the back of her mind chanted, Don't fuck it up. Don't fuck it up.
She scratched both dogs behind the ears as she glanced up, seeing that they were much closer to the ruins of the Roberts Ranch House than she had realized. Built in the 1950s, the home had burned down in the 80s, but a few walls and the foundation remained.
According to the sign that she had read dozens of times on that hike, the original home had been outfitted with elaborate pumps and pipes to protect it from wildfires, but with a lack of maintenance, it burned down anyway.
As she approached the ruins, she couldn't help but think of them as some particularly apt metaphor. Only fireplaces, walls, and the outline of pool were obvious. What once was called a Tropical Terrace was now a burned ruin of a building surrounded by palm trees.
Her phone dinged with a text notification.
Zoey's name lit her screen, and she couldn't help but feel the tiny tug of a smile at her mouth.
Cricket pounced after a lizard, pulling her further into the ruins.
Zoey: I never did ask, why do you own that pho place?
Pia raised a brow, glancing up from her phone to check on the dogs.
Tulip was sniffing around in the dirt and Cricket was in a play pose, looking for his lizard again.
Pia: I liked it.
Zoey: So you just buy things you like?
Pia: No, sometimes I find them in dark corners of parties.
The three dots popped up under Zoey's name, then disappeared. They reappeared, then disappeared.
Pia tugged on the dog's leashes, determined to walk until the end of the trail to see the waterfall.
Had she gone overboard?
Something about Zoey made her completely over the top. She was saying the types of things she only thought about saying while smirking instead.
Zoey was just fun to play with. Low stakes. Nothing was ever going to happen. But it made Pia want to push her buttons all the same.
Zoey: Funny, I didn't take Minh for the type to kiss you.
Pia laughed out loud, looking down at her phone. She liked it when Zoey cut her off at the knees when she wasn't expecting it.
Pia: I can recruit even the most surprising ones.
In truth, Pia bought the pho restaurant because it was Elle's favorite place to eat, and after her death, the restaurant almost closed. She couldn't imagine living in a world where she couldn't taste that pho and think of the way Elle would always put in way too many jalapeno slices and then wave her hand in front of her mouth as she sniffled and tears streamed down her cheeks.
Was it slightly fucked up that she had taken Zoey to Elle's favorite place?
Well, in hindsight... a bit.
But she would like to think that Elle would appreciate her spending companionable time with a beautiful woman.
The waterfall came into sight and she walked up to it, then sat down on one of the rocks near the small pool. Tulip flopped down into the shade and Cricket climbed like a mountain goat onto the rock next to her. She grabbed a collapsable water bowl out of her backpack and filled it up for the dogs.
It wasn't a gigantic waterfall, but the soothing sound of the falling water helped clear her mind.
Pia realized that Zoey must have been texting her from a stop on the start of the promotional tour that she had mentioned the last time they had spoken.
Pia: Where are you?
Zoey: Boston.
Pia: What are you doing?
Zoey: Taking a nap.
Pia did her best not to picture Zoey in bed.
Pia: Sounds relaxing, texting during a nap.
Zoey: Well, I can never resist a chance to multitask.
Pia: That explains the keyboard and singing.
Zoey: You forget that I also play the tambourine and melodica.
Pia quickly Googled what a melodica was. It seemed to be... a keyboard kazoo? She sent a picture of it to Zoey with a question mark.
Zoey: That's the one.
Pia: I've got to see this.
Zoey didn't respond for a few moments, but when she did, she sent back a video of her playing the first part of Bohemian Rhapsody. Her hair was tied back in a casual ponytail and she wore a baggy t-shirt. She didn't even appear to be wearing makeup.
Was Zoey the only person in the world who could look attractive while holding a tube attached to a tiny handheld keyboard? Quite possibly.
Pia saved the video immediately, feeling only slightly creepy about doing so.
She opened her camera and hit the video button.
"I'm not doing anything as impressive, but I am on a little hike with the dogs," she said, flipping the camera around to show Tulip and Cricket. "And there's a waterfall." She narrated, showing the waterfall. “Tulip is trying to eat a sky jalapeño, also known as a bee.”
Zoey: Your disguise looks like one of those serial killer sketches.
Pia laughed, seeing how the oversized sunglasses and hat pulled low looked in her video.
Pia: I'm sorry you had to find out about my true self this way.
Zoey sent back a video of the melodica, comically drawing out the notes womp womp.
She texted back before Pia could respond.
Zoey: Show me more of the dogs. Especially the one that eats sky jalapeños.
And so for hours, they each documented their days as Pia walked back to her car and Zoey got ready to go to an afternoon radio show. Pia got to choose what color lipstick Zoey put on — a gorgeous brick red color that made her complexion warm immediately — and Zoey picked out what Pia would make for dinner that night — spaghetti squash with pesto. Zoey even took a video of Billie sleeping in what looked like a large minivan, snoring loudly.
"I'm sending that video of Billie to TMZ. Turns out, she's not perfect all the time," Pia said with a laugh, standing in her kitchen again.
Zoey texted again.
Zoey: I'm going to bed, but this was fun. Maybe we could have lunch when I get back next week?
Pia: It's a date.
Except this time, she meant it.
Chapter Seven
Zoey
Zoey sat in
her hotel room nursing a glass of white wine. It was 6pm and she was down for the count.
She had the night off and was already in pajamas and the fuzzy slippers that were in the hotel bathroom.
Billie and Domino were both out with their partners, and Meg had gone to meet people Zoey didn't know.
She was alone in New York City without a single plan. She could see a million interesting things, eat at some of the best restaurants in the world, even meet up with her other modelling friends.... but there she was, sitting on her bed, flipping through the on-demand movies.
Why was every single Die Hard movie on-demand?
Her phone dinged and she glanced over, seeing a text from Pia. Her insides did the tiniest of somersaults reading the name.
Pia: I forgot to ask. What’s your first favorite Yeats poem?
Zoey creased her brow, then remembered Pia’s toast at dinner.
Zoey: “When You Are Old.”
Pia: Was hoping you’d say that. Mine, too.
Zoey smiled down at her phone, warmth spreading through her at the simple thought that they had that poem in common.
Pia: What are you up to tonight?
Zoey picked up her phone and held her arm out to take a selfie of her in pajamas, making sure to include the glass of wine.
She sent the picture along with, "Living the dream."
Pia: No plans at all? In the city that never sleeps?
Zoey: I have blackout curtains.
Pia: Up for an adventure?
Zoey looked around, half-expecting to see Pia hiding behind the palm in the corner.
Zoey: What kind of adventure?
Pia: What's your call time for the Spotify sessions?
