by Bryce Oakley
"Come on, we can talk in my bedroom," Zoey said, standing.
"Alright, have fun with that bedroom talk. Seriously, hand me that bacon," Domino said, pointing again.
Zoey sighed loudly and grabbed the plate of bacon for Domino before walking out of the room.
Pia walked behind her, feeling distinctly as though she was in trouble.
Zoey shut the bedroom door behind her, then pulled her onto the far side of the room near the massive closet that held more clothes, shoes, and handbags than she thought possible.
"Oh, you use Sabrina's services, too?" Pia said, pointing to one of the clear bins filled with color-coordinated sweaters.
"Pia," Zoey said, her hands on her hips. "We are officially fucked."
Pia leaned against the closet door frame. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, Domino is going to tell Sabrina, and Sabrina will tell our friend Isla, and Isla has a very large mouth," Zoey said. "That's if Domino doesn't first tell Meg, who will tell Billie, who will tell Vero, who also can't keep a secret to save her life."
"That's... a lot," Pia said, crossing her arms over her chest.
"I know. Which is why I'm a little upset right now," Zoey said, fussing with her hair.
"Hey," Pia said softly, reaching to take Zoey's hands in hers if only so she'd stop making her hair stand straight up — very distracting. "It's going to be okay. So, your friends know. Freya knows—"
"Freya knows?" Zoey said, her voice rising in panic.
Pia bent so that she was on Zoey's eye level. "Why does this matter so much to you?"
"Because I'm the straight one," Zoey said emphatically.
"Well, darling, clearly you are not completely straight," Pia said, lifting one of Zoey's hands to press a kiss to her palm.
"It's my thing," Zoey said, looking confused and bewildered, her forehead wrinkling.
"It's not your thing anymore," Pia said. "It's time to get a new thing."
"You don't understand," Zoey said. "Sure, the industry isn't like it was, but now I'm just a gay lady in a gay lady band."
"Sorry," Pia said, trying to hold back a smile. "You really want not being a gay lady in a gay lady band to be the hill you're prepared to die on?"
Zoey sighed in frustration. "That doesn't sound right. I just mean, I'm not ready to be publically gay."
"So, don't be publically gay until you're ready. Here's an industry-tip: Plenty of us are under the umbrella, but you'd never know it," Pia said. "I was in the spotlight for years before I came out, and it almost cost me my career. But here we are. That was fifteen years ago. Society has changed."
"I'm not ready for this," Zoey said, her shoulders slumping.
"What do you mean?" Pia asked, an icy cold tension stabbing somewhere in her gut.
"I'm just scared of everything changing," Zoey admitted, her voice a quiet whisper.
Pia softened again, reaching to wrap her arms around Zoey. "The band is a bit distracted at the moment. This will blow over in your friend group way sooner than you think. And we can stop... the benefits part of our friendship if that'd help."
Zoey relaxed against her and Pia felt protective and warm and terrified all at once.
"And Zoey, if this is just... a one time thing, and you were just curious, then that's fine, too," Pia said, feeling the need to give Zoey that out. That permission to take the step back if she needed.
"Let me talk to Domino, and then maybe I can call you later?" Zoey asked.
"Sure," Pia said, reluctantly letting Zoey go.
Hours later, Pia was sitting outside in her sprawling backyard with the dogs, enjoying the heat of the Southern California sun in the hills of Malibu. How could life not be perfection with everything she had? She had worked so hard for everything, and now she had it all.
Right?
"Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You wanted this relationship to be a casual thing," Freya said, her voice in Pia's earpiece.
Pia nearly "dropped" the call right then, but she knew Freya was right.
Cricket lay at her feet on his back, requesting more belly rubs.
"Weren't you singing her praises mere weeks ago?" Pia asked.
"I like her. But you like her in a different way, and that's not great timing," Freya said.
"What? Why?" Pia asked. She watched as Tulip tried to eat a bee. Oof, she'd regret that. "Tulip, leave it."
"Uh, hello, Elle's mother's interview? Wouldn't it look terrible for you to be newly dating some hot, young rock star and model as you're about to tell the world about your dead wife?" Freya asked, her tone suggesting that Pia was seriously stupid.
"You make a good point. I should fire my PR and hire you," Pia said with a laugh.
"Baby, you couldn't afford me," Freya said.
Tulip grabbed the bee out of the air and munched happily. "Oh, you idiot," she said, waiting to see if Tulip had been stung.
"Ouch," Freya said.
"Not you. Tulip is eating sky jalapenos."
"When will she lay off the spicy flies?" Freya laughed.
"Maybe she loves the fun of a swollen face and Benadryl. I feel bad for the bees. She's personally decimating their local population," Pia said, kneeling down in front of Tulip to inspect her wrinkly jowls. She seemed unharmed, strangely enough.
"Wow, looking danger in the face and then putting it in your mouth anyway must run in the family," Freya said, unable to say it without laughing.
"Ew, gross," Pia said, laughing despite herself. Her phone chimed in for another call. It was her PR agency. "Oh, speak of the devil. Eva is calling."
"She heard you. She's tapping your lines," Freya said. "Call me back after for more tough love."
"Sure," Pia said, putting that call on the top of her list of things she did not want to do, ever.
Pia switched the line over to Eva, her PR person. "Hey Eva, how's it going?"
"Hello Ms. Marino, so sorry to bother you on a Sunday," Eva said.
Pia raised a brow. Eva was formal, sure, but there was something in her tone that made Pia nervous. Like she was about to receive extremely bad news. "No worries, what's up?"
"Well, I'm emailing you a Blind Gossip item that I think may be about you," Eva said.
Pia snorted. "Blind item? Do people take those seriously anymore?"
"It's from Page Six, so I imagine that yes, people do take them seriously," Eva answered. "I've also received a report that there's an accompanying photo that's being shopped around."
"A photo?" Pia asked, surprised.
“I’m on it, though. We won’t let that out,” Eva said, her tone confident in a way that made Pia feel better.
The email from Eva popped into her inbox and she clicked it open.
"'Which female talk show host has been spotted making out with a much younger, supposedly straight rocker?'" Pia read aloud.
"Well, that could be about anyone," she said, her stomach clenching. "Who even says rocker?"
"I cannot do damage control for you if I don't know the full story," Eva said. "So, what do you want to tell me?"
Pia sighed, explaining that she had been seeing Zoey McCarren casually. She felt almost guilty in her confession, knowing that Zoey would panic about the blind item, and probably even panic Pia telling Eva. But, Eva knew everything about Pia. That was her job. She knew things, and then she put a better looking story out into the world.
Pia ended up telling Eva almost everything, including Freya's most recent advice.
"Hmm," Eva said, and Pia could hear her chair creaking, as though she was leaning back. "Well, my hunch is that you need to stop any kind of public engagement with Ms. McCarren. Freya's advice is sound — I'm concerned about how it'll look with your upcoming interview with Sheila next week. I'll try to find out what the photos are and how obvious they may be. I think that we could spin it a number of ways, depending on how they look. You're simply working on a project together, you were helping with promo for their new album... I'm just brainstorming here, but I'll sen
d you a full report with follow-up suggestions this evening."
"Eva, you don't have to do that. It's a Sunday," Pia said, rubbing Cricket's belly with her feet as she stared out across the yard.
"Of course I have to. That's my job. That's why you pay me," Eva said, almost as though she was scoffing at the idea of not working. "If you're comfortable with it, I can email The Shrikes' PR and we can work something out together."
"Sounds fine. Just leave Zoey out of it as much as possible," Pia said, scrubbing a hand over her face.
She walked back inside with the dogs and started to fix dinner.
Who could have reported that blind item? Domino? No, it wasn't like Domino to betray her friends In that way. Could someone have seen them? At the release party? Or the hotel? Or hell, even at Madonna's New Year's Eve party?
"Fuck," Pia said, smacking her hand down on the cool quartz countertop.
She read the blind item on her phone several more times. Supposedly straight.
Her hackles rose at the phrase. Zoey put too much stock into labels. Why was she so worried about being straight or not? Why was she letting that stand in between the two of them being toge—
No.
She couldn't consider that any longer. She had different priorities now. Or, at least, she needed to find different priorities.
Pia leaned down on the counter, her head in her hands, feeling lost.
Chapter Eleven
Zoey
Zoey stared at herself in the mirror, pushing her hair back from her face.
She didn't look any different. She tried to focus on the things she liked: her dark, brown eyes, her full lips, her cheekbones that could cut glass.
But those were only surface-deep.
Everything else had changed.
Hadn't it?
Wouldn't she have some kind of awakening if she had suddenly become interested in women? Wouldn't she have realized it before Pia came into her life? Where were the signs before now?
What would her parents think?
She splashed cool water on her face.
Focus on the things you know.
She knew that Pia felt more for her than they had originally agreed upon. That Pia wanted more than just friendship. She felt that in Pia's gaze, the way Pia held her, the way Pia had that satisfied grin whenever Zoey had a particularly intense reaction to her touch.
She knew that she felt something for Pia, too.
Except, she didn't know how to unpack that. How to understand what she was feeling.
It wasn't love.
It was way too soon to be love.
It was...
She bit her lip, hard, trying to put a name to it.
She had dated before. She had even thought she'd been in love before. Twice. She'd had strong connections where she depended on her partner more than anyone in the world.
But nothing compared to what she felt when Pia was around.
A mixture of attraction, awe, excitement, fascination, and terror consumed her constantly.
That much had not changed from their very first meeting.
But she also trusted Pia.
"Are you still brushing your teeth? You've been in there like, forever," Domino asked through the closed door.
She'd agreed to stay over at Domino and Sabrina's home for the night, and she'd agreed to let Domino tell Sabrina about her and Pia.
Sabrina knew Pia better than the rest of the group.
They were having a good old fashioned slumber party, sitting in the living room watching movies, eating junk food, and gossiping.
The topic they hadn't broached yet? Why Zoey was there: what had happened between her and Pia.
She hadn't even given Domino the full story.
She'd left out some key details and glossed over important nuances, but Domino knew the essentials.
Zoey opened the door to the bathroom to find Domino loitering in the hallway.
"Everything okay?" Zoey asked, pausing in the doorframe.
"Oh, yeah, I was just making sure you hadn't climbed out the window or anything." Domino said casually.
"Are you babysitting me or hanging out with me?" Zoey asked skeptically.
"Why not both?" Domino joked, looping her arm through Zoey's as they walked back into the living room. "You got me through a rough time a few months ago. You climbed into my bed and told me to get my shit together once, I do believe. You brought Sabrina into my life."
During a particularly rough bout of writer's block, Zoey had hired Sabrina to organize Domino's home. The rest was, as they say, history.
"I owe you. I owe you patience and pushiness. I also need to make amends for interfering in Billie and Vero's relationship. I'm trying not to interfere," Domino added.
"Well, you could have fooled me with the protective older sister talk over breakfast with her this morning," Zoey said, rolling her eyes.
"Listen, I may be a year younger than you but I am very good at being your protective older sister when necessary," Domino said with a grin.
They settled on the couch and Sabrina walked back in with a very generous pour of wine.
"Okay, I just want to ask a few questions," Sabrina said, looking excited.
"You can ask, but it doesn't mean I'll answer them," Zoey said with a skeptical eyebrow raise, reaching for her La Croix and the bowl of peanut butter M&Ms.
"How did you meet?" Sabrina asked, her eyes wide with interest.
"At a party," Zoey said with a shrug.
"When did it start?" Sabrina asked.
"It?" Zoey asked, almost laughing.
"Yeah, the... tell me about your first kiss," Sabrina said, looking as though she might explode from the anticipation.
Ha, well, that they already knew. They all knew the song she had written about that kiss, about their first meeting.
"Wait, I have a theory," Domino interrupted.
Zoey's stomach somersaulted. Well, the cat was about to be out of the bag now. "Oh?"
"I think it started when we went on her show," Domino said. "You were hitting it off so well that day."
"Were we?" Zoey asked, raising a brow.
The flashback memory of seeing Pia again after months of thinking about her... Zoey's insides swirled at the mental image she had of that moment. How Pia's eyes said everything Zoey needed to hear. That their kiss wasn't going to be a one-time thing.
"Oh, maybe not?" Domino asked, tilting her head in confusion.
"I have a theory," Sabrina said proudly.
Zoey blinked, waiting to hear Sabrina's analytical mind had already concocted one of those conspiracy boards with the string and pictures.
"I think it was before the show," Sabrina said. "I could feel your chemistry the second you guys were in the same room together. I think something happened before that."
"Oh, good point," Domino said, her hand moving to Sabrina's knee as though to signal their unity.
"Do you guys just want me to tell you or is this more fun?" Zoey said, her brows knitting together.
"This is fun," Domino said. "This is the super fun part. The excitement and the newness."
"Shush, let her tell us," Sabrina said.
"You already know the whole story," Zoey said. "It's in the song."
Sabrina tilted her head, a confused look on her face.
"Oh my fuck—" Domino gasped, her eyes wide, her hand coming to cover her mouth.
"Midnight?" Sabrina asked.
Zoey nodded.
"You told us that song was about a mystery guy you met while being terribly bored at that party," Domino said.
Recognition dawned on Sabrina's face. "That makes perfect sense."
"Of course it makes sense, I wrote the song," Zoey said flatly.
"No, I mean, you were different after that. You wrote that song in like, what, an hour?" Sabrina said.
"Oh, good point, baby," Domino said to Sabrina. "You must have been very... inspired." Domino waggled her eyebrows.
Zoey laughed, rollin
g her eyes. "So, now you know. And I think I'm going to go to bed," she said.
"Oh, okay. Sure," Sabrina answered, getting to her feet and running upstairs past them. "I'll grab the extra pillow cases."
"Extra?" Zoey asked, glancing to Domino.
"She has to make sure they match the sheets on the bed," Domino said, shrugging.
"Wow," Zoey said. "Well, there are stranger compulsions, I guess."
"Like kissing strange women at parties?" Domino teased.
"You know what they say about glass houses," Zoey joked.
Domino reached out, taking Zoey's hand gently in hers. "Okay, I promise to only be serious for a moment, I should have seen it happening. I should have been there for you. You're one of my best friends, and this must be such a confusing time for you," she said.
Zoey's throat grew thick with emotion and she swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry as she willed herself not to tear up. She nodded, not knowing what to say.
"I love you, no matter what. I love you as the straight friend. I love you as the straight friend who had a fling with one of the sexiest lesbians alive. I love you as a bisexual friend. I love you as a label-less friend. I love you as a lesbian friend. No matter what you are going through and who you are at the other end of this, I love you, and I'm here for you," Domino said.
Tears began to slip down Zoey's face in earnest. "I don't know what I am," Zoey said. "I don't know how to figure it out."
Domino smiled. "Well, I don't know how to figure that out, either. I'm still figuring it out. Wouldn't it be so boring if we were never growing or evolving?"
Zoey sniffled, wiping at her eyes. "Thanks, Domi," she said.
Domino reached, pulling her into a tight hug. "I'm serious. You deserve someone who will make you feel like magic, and if Pia's that lucky, lucky person, what does gender or sexuality have to do with it?"
Zoey let her head rest on Domino's shoulder, wishing above anything, that taking her friend's advice was that easy.
"And also, I'm giving you the card for my new therapist. Sabrina has... encouraged me to start seeing her, and I think it might help you. No pressure. But the card is already in your purse," Domino said.
