by Bryce Oakley
Pia shook her head with a smile. "What is it?"
"Elle reminds me every day that I have to live my life to the fullest right now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. I cannot be afraid of what may happen, because it may never happen. I'm a more honest, open, and kind person knowing that there may be no tomorrow," Sheila said as the audience applauded.
Pia was taken aback. Her throat tightened with emotion. She reached toward Sheila and took her hand. "Thank you for that," she said. "Thank you for sharing that. I think Elle would have loved hearing that."
"I think so, too," Sheila said with a nod.
They rounded out the segment with symptoms of stroke, reiterating the FAST acronym — drooping side of Face, inability to raise both Arms, slurred or strange Speech, Time to call 911 — for the millions of viewers who watched her show daily.
"If Sheila and I can save just one life… I know that Elle would support us sharing this message," Pia said, holding a hand over her heart.
Kelly gave the signal that the segment was done, and Sheila turned to her, hugging her tightly against her chest, as though she was her own mother.
Pia was a bit surprised, but after the emotional toil of filming that segment, she welcomed the hug.
"I know you loved her so much," Sheila said in Pia's ear. "Just talking about her with you reminded me of so many joyful times we all had together."
Pia nodded, unable to respond with words. "I know you loved her very much, too," she said finally.
Sheila's eyes glistened as she pulled away.
"Do you want to get drinks or coffee sometime?" Pia asked.
Sheila smiled. "That would be really nice," she said.
Pia sat in her office, clicking her pen open and closed as she stared at the wall.
All she could think about were Sheila's words: "I have to live my life to the fullest right now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. I cannot be afraid of what may happen, because it may never happen. I'm a more honest, open, and kind person knowing that there may be no tomorrow."
Domino burst into the office. "Okay, what's your plan?" She said with gusto.
Pia gasped, putting a hand to her chest. "Do you ever knock? What are you doing here?"
"I borrowed Sabrina's badge. Nevermind that. What's your plan?" Domino repeated herself, her eyes gleaming. She looked out into the hallway, and Freya slipped into the office as she shut the door.
"W-what?" Pia asked, shaking her head as she tried to breathe normally again.
Freya looked exasperated. "For living for today and all that,” she said. “For fixing what you fucked up with Zoey.”
“Who says I’m even considering that?” Pia asked, leaning back in her chair.
Freya and Domino rolled their eyes in tandem.
Freya spoke first. “Come on, I just watched you on that stage. You looked like someone had thrown ice cold water all over you when she said that thing about carpe diem.”
“But—"
“I know you are stubborn,” Freya said, holding up a hand. “And worse than that, you’re prideful. It’s hard for you to admit you’ve ever done anything wrong. But I can read you like a book, P, and you’re miserable without her.”
Pia narrowed her eyes. “It’s not that simple.”
Domino shrugged. “Isn’t it, though?”
“No. I really burnt that bridge. Like there’s not even a semblance of a bridge anymore,” Pia said shaking her head.
Domino grinned. “Well, no bridge? Then we’ll go full Oregon Trail: Caulk the wagons, ford the river, and pray our oxen don’t drown.”
"Oh, solid reference," Freya said, high-fiving Domino as she sat down next to her. "We think that there's a way to fix this. Just think of us like your fairy godmothers."
Pia looked back and forth between her fairy godmothers, an aging hippie artist and a young, tattooed rocker, and sighed.
She thought of Zoey, kneeling before her, begging her for a future.
And how, in that moment, it felt like she was ripping out her own heart to say no.
But why?
She couldn't think of a good enough reason.
What was the worst that could happen with Zoey?
Would she say no? Pia would be in the same grief-stricken, heartbroken position.
"Alright," she said, sighing.
"Alright?" Domino asked.
"Okay," Freya added enthusiastically.
"It might not work, but... I'm willing to try it," Pia admitted.
"Good enough for me," Domino said, nodding.
Chapter Fifteen
Zoey
August was the worst time of year to be in Houston. Zoey held her hair off of her neck in an attempt to stop sweating so badly. She tied it into a ponytail, fanning herself with her hand. Being in the very backseat of their rental van afforded her no relief from the air conditioning.
They had been in Houston since late the night before, showing up for a radio-sponsored event that had taken place that morning. They had played a small, intimate set with a group of super-fans, and Zoey had felt reenergized from it.
That was why she was in The Shrikes. The warmth and energy of the people who loved their music.
"I wish y'all had let me buy that tiny fan," Zoey said, adjusting the tiny air vent toward her for the 100th time in the past ten minutes.
Domino smirked, turning around from the captain's chairs in the middle of the van. "It was $9, dude. Not worth it. Also, the guy at that convenience story was a creep and I didn't want to support his creepiness by purchasing anymore than we had to."
"Anyone else starving?" Billie asked from the other captain's chair.
Zoey's stomach rumbled. "What should we eat?" She checked her phone. They had just enough time to grab a bite before heading to the airport.
"What about pho? We can go to that place Zoey won't shut up about," Domino suggested.
Micah agreed from the very front seat.
Meg shifted in her seat, looking out the window with a grin.
"Pho? No, it's a little hot, don't you think?" Zoey asked.
"Hot things cool you down. That's just science," Billie said, grinning. "Pho sounds really good."
"Sure. Pho," Meg said, smirking. "Sounds... yep."
Zoey raised an eyebrow. "Sounds yep?"
Meg nodded, then turned to face out the window again.
Domino was scrolling through a website on her phone. "Ooh, they have boba tea," she said.
"Sold," Billie said firmly.
Forty-five minutes later, they climbed out of the van in front of the unassuming pho restaurant that she loved so much.
She looked up at the sign, thinking of the pho restaurant that Pia owned.
When would she ever stop thinking about that woman?
She had obsessively watched Pia's special with Elle's mother — four times, including the two times she had streamed it on YouTube late at night in her hotel room. Seeing Pia emotional, tears in her eyes... Her entire stomach churned at the thought.
The band, for the most part, had done a fantastic job of keeping Zoey busy, even in the week since Pia's special.
With Domino's parental controls on the type of media content she could access, she couldn't read every article about Pia and her deceased wife, but she had found quite a few.
It twisted the knife in her chest every time she saw a photo of them together. Pia, so young, with a horrible bob haircut, smiling next to this tanned, stunning ray of sunshine of a woman.
How could she have ever lived up to such a woman?
Maybe she dodged a bullet.
"Hold on one moment," Micah said, typing something on her phone. "Just finishing up this PR email."
Zoey pulled her loose tank top away from her skin as they stood around on the sidewalk outside of the restaurant.
"Oh, let's fix your hair," Billie said, reaching for her.
Zoey ducked. "What's wrong with my hair?"
"There's just a piece sticking up," Billie said, looking confused. "Want to
take out your ponytail so I can help?"
"Oh," Zoey said. "Okay." She pulled it out of its ponytail and Billie ran her fingers through it, giving it a bit of volume on top.
Domino adjusted her tank top, pulling it slightly so that it was centered. "You want some chapstick?"
"Do I need it?" Zoey asked, touching her bottom lip.
"Sure," Domino said, handing her the tube, which she applied in a few swipes.
Meg wouldn't look at her.
"Am I sufficiently pampered enough to go get sriracha all over my face?" Zoey asked the group.
"Mmhm."
"Yep."
"Great."
Meg simply nodded, but the edges of her mouth looked as though they were tugging against her will into a smile.
"Come on, hurry it up, Mike, I'm starving," Zoey said.
"Lead the way," Billie said, gesturing.
Zoey noticed none of the other women moved.
Why were they being so weird?
Zoey reached for the door of the restaurant and pulled it open.
For a moment, she thought it was just her eyes adjusting. It took her a few more seconds to realize the lights were much dimmer than usual.
Her gaze fell on a single table in the middle of the restaurant, which was lit only with candles on every table.
She took a step back, worried that she was intruding on something, or worrying that perhaps she had walked into the wrong restaurant.
She looked back towards her friends, but the door was shut behind her.
Panic and confusion almost started swirling inside of her, but then she noticed her.
Pia.
Sitting at the single table.
Her insides somersaulted. No, they did something more akin to a cartwheel with leaps and bounds.
"What?" Zoey asked quietly.
"Come here," Pia said, a small smile on her lips. She was wearing a dark tank top that showed off her incredible shoulders and her hair was tousled, as if she had been running her hands through it.
Zoey turned back toward the door. Had they known?
Those assholes. Of course they had known. They had just prepped her for walking in there. The hair, clothes, even the chapstick.
Zoey took a deep breath and walked to the table.
"What are you doing here?" She said, adrenaline making her heart pound in her ears.
"Well, you said this place was the best, so I thought maybe I should try it. You know, suss out the competition," Pia said, looking casual.
"Oh? Really?" Zoey asked, not sure what else to say.
"No, of course not. I came here to talk to you," Pia said.
Zoey gripped the back of the chair in front of her.
"Would you like to sit down? Join me?" Pia asked.
A server set down two glasses of wine in front of them.
"I didn't know this place had wine," Zoey said, taking her glass.
"They don't," Pia said simply, swirling her wine around.
Zoey grinned. "A bit pretentious but not completely absurd, given how delicious this is," she said, taking a sip of the mellow wine.
"I don't know exactly how to say this, but—" Pia began.
Zoey held up a hand. "Wait. Before you say anything, I want to apologize for the comment I said about ‘Midnight’ being about us. I truly believed that was the right thing to do in the moment, but now I recognize that I should have consulted with you first before making any public claims about us. That mistake haunts me, and I'm truly, very sorry for the hurt that caused you," she said officially.
Pia's eyebrows raised in surprise. "I... did not expect that apology, but thank you," Pia said. "But I want to —"
"And it was really uncool for me to beg you to be with me when you were going through a hard time," Zoey added quickly.
"Zoey, you don't have to—"
"I understand that you were trying to maintain appearances, and I—"
"Stop talking," Pia said forcefully, but her mouth quirked up in a grin as she shook her head. "I didn't come here for you to apologize to me. I came here to apologize to you. I handled everything terribly."
Zoey opened her mouth and Pia reached, taking her hand.
"Baby, just let me finish," Pia said.
Zoey’s heart warmed at the term of endearment, but she nodded, staring down at Pia's hand in hers.
"I want to say I'm truly sorry I ever thought that you had been anything but truthful towards me. You were always upfront about what you wanted, and what we were, and I disrespected that by accusing you of anything less than honesty," Pia said.
Zoey swallowed, her mouth feeling dry. She took another sip of her wine, clearing her throat and blinking back the tears that lingered at the edges of her eyes.
"I came here to ask you for your forgiveness, first and foremost," Pia said, her eyes searching Zoey's.
Zoey nodded. "I forgive you."
Pia exhaled as though a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders.
Zoey felt lighter, too.
Pia's thumb continued to draw a circle on the back of Zoey's hand. Even her most innocent touch still affected Zoey right to her core.
"I don't exactly know what the path forward looks like. My life is complicated, and your life is complicated, and you're still learning a lot about yourself, and so am I," Pia said, pausing as if she was trying to find the right words.
Zoey narrowed her eyes skeptically. "What are you saying?"
"What I am trying very hard to say and failing at miserably is just... I want to be with you. I want to figure it all out together," Pia said.
"Are you sure?" Zoey asked, thinking of her mistake, that horrible night in Dana Point, even the awkward phone call about Archer.
"Yes," Pia said firmly, squeezing Zoey's hand.
"You're really sure you want to give this a try?" Zoey asked, her brow still furrowed.
"Yes," Pia said, laughing.
"Even after everything that's happened between us?"
"Yes," Pia said, still laughing but looking exasperated.
"Why?" Zoey asked, unable to help herself.
"Because..." Pia paused, throwing her free hand in the air. "I love your moments of glad grace. I love the pilgrim soul in you, and the sorrows of your changing face."
Zoey blinked, too surprised to say anything. Pia was quoting their favorite Yeat’s poem.
"Why else would I be here, making a fool of myself, surrounded by candles in a place with sticky menus and not even one type of house wine?" Pia said, gesturing to the restaurant.
"I mean, the food is really good," Zoey laughed, shaking her head.
Pia stood, walking around the edge of the table to stand in front of her. "I love you, Zoey, and this is messy and complicated and scary and weird but it’s also exciting, and I want a future with you, whatever that looks like.” She paused, then added, “If you also want that."
Zoey laughed, joy coursing through her entire body, making her feel electric and light. "Me too," she said. "I want that, too. And I love you." Her voice softened as she stood to kiss Pia.
The bells on the door jingled and Zoey turned to see Domino and Meg sticking their heads in. "Did she say yes?" Domino called out.
"It wasn't a proposal, you creep," Zoey said, giggling.
"Close enough. Can we come in and eat now? We're still starving," Domino said.
"Dom," Billie scolded loudly from behind her.
A half hour later, Zoey looked down the table. The lights had come back on and the staff had been extremely lovely about accommodating her nosy friends who wanted to join them.
She was so happy, unbelievably so. She was surrounded by all of the women she loved most, who were all laughing and talking and eating delicious noodles.
And beside her sat Pia, their bodies tucked close to one another with Pia's arm behind her chair and her hand on Pia's knee.
Pia leaned in close. "I'm afraid that this restaurant may be just as good as mine," she whispered in Zoey's ear. "The competition
is close."
"Maybe we should fly back tonight and head there immediately?" Zoey suggested. "Just to make sure we still like it."
"Two bowls of pho in one night? You’ll be bursting with noodles," Pia joked, smirking.
"Don't threaten me with a good time," Zoey teased.
"We just have to make one very important stop first," Pia said, her gaze dropping to Zoey's mouth.
Zoey smirked. "My place or yours?"
Epilogue
New Year's Eve
Zoey
Zoey awoke to Pia's hand gently shaking her arm. Pia was bent over her, looking both amused and concerned.
"Baby, are you already asleep?" Pia said, grinning.
Zoey blinked, rubbing her eyes. "Is it midnight yet?" She looked down to see that both dogs had joined her on the couch — Tulip tucked behind her bent knees and Cricket curled up beside her.
"It's 9pm, party animal," Pia said, shaking her head.
Zoey laughed, shrugging as she maneuvered her way into sitting up without disturbing the dogs too much. "Wow, how will you ever keep up with an old lady like me?" She joked.
"I brought you some tea," Pia said, sitting down on the couch beside her, pushing Cricket over a bit.
The fire crackled and gentle Classical was playing. The room was so cozy that it made her smile. Zoey sat up, snuggling into Pia.
"Where's the champagne?" Zoey asked.
"Oh, you think you can handle champagne?" Pia teased.
"It's been a long week," Zoey admitted.
The Shrikes had played a New Year's Eve festival earlier that day, and she was still tired from Christmas Eve with Sheila and Christmas Day with The Rush Family.
The band had been touring non-stop since October, and right before Christmas had been their first break. After the new year, they'd be off to Europe.
"You're sure you don't want to go out to any of the parties? Even Taylor Swift invited us," Pia said, her fingers moving aimlessly over Zoey’s arm, sending tingles up Zoey’s spine.
Zoey shook her head, kissing the soft spot behind Pia's ear. "I just want to be at home with you," she said.
The last five months had been a whirlwind. She and Pia didn't make public appearances together or answer questions about their relationship yet. They wanted to revel in the newness all by themselves. It felt nice, having their relationship as a safe space.
