by Jane Tara
“I think it’s time to go to bed, Jake.”
His eyes lit up. “I thought you’d never ask.”
Michi just rolled her eyes and made her way into her own tent. “Night, Jake,” she called.
“Night, Michi.”
Michi lay awake in her tent for a long time. Eventually, she could hear Jake unzip his own tent and climb in. It was silent outside. Or as silent as the Australian bush could be. There were cicadas, and other insects buzzing around. In the distance she could hear a lyrebird screaming. Either that or it was a woman being attacked, probably by a yowie. Something scratched outside.
Something scratched outside?
Michi sprung upright. She could hear something snuffling. Something was out there. Something large by the sounds it was making. She could hear it plodding around the tent. What the hell was it? Did they have wild pigs around here? What if it was a yowie?
“Shoo,” Michi hissed. “Pssst.”
Something hit the side of her tent.
“Jake!”
And then the whole tent collapsed on top of her.
“JAAAAAKE!”
She heard him come running. “Michi, Jesus, what the fuck?”
Michi flailed around while Jake yanked at her tent and lifted it off her so she could crawl out. She swung around, trying to see in the darkness. What if that thing was still nearby?
“Something was sniffing around my tent. It knocked it over.”
“It was hanging by a thread.”
“Listen, I don’t know if there are mountain lions out here—”
Jake threw his head back and laughed. “Or drop bears.”
Michi eyeballed him. “You don’t believe me?”
“I just think it’s your way of getting to sleep in my tent.”
Michi looked horrified at the thought. “I’m not sleeping with you.”
“Listen, there’s no way we can put that bloody thing back up with nothing but this torch.”
He had a point. “Perhaps if you shine it there I can find the pegs.”
Jake laughed at her. “Michi, don’t be daft. Come into my tent. I’m the lesser of two evils.” He leaned in close. “I did hear something out here.”
Michi was in Jake’s tent like a shot. Jake grabbed some of her bedding and dragged it in with him.
“Here, you’ll need this.”
“Thanks.” She lay her bedding out next to his.
Jake crawled back onto his mat and drew the light camp sheet over himself. “Just try and keep your hands to yourself, Michi.”
“I’ll do my best, Jake. Goodnight.”
And as much as she thought she’d never fall asleep, she was sound asleep in minutes.
*
The next morning Michi woke before Jake. She stared at him, sound asleep. He had endless lashes. There was no doubt that he’d backed off since Luna Park and been nothing but a gentleman and a friend since. She was glad, although part of her still wished he’d kiss her again. Chemistry like that didn’t come around often. She was almost temped to wake him and explore that chemistry. After all, a few more days and she’d never have to see him again. But deep down, she knew that was something that scared her.
She crawled out of the tent. The morning was silent, apart from the crashing waves. It was already warm and the sky was bathed in the most stunning golden light. She paused near the flap of the tent when she saw three kangaroos grazing nearby. She didn’t want to scare them, so moved very quietly toward her bag, pulled out her phone, and took a photo. She added a message. My morning view. BTW did you get flowers for Paige? Then she pressed send to both her roommates, Clementine and Debra.
Next, she forwarded the same photo to Paige, this time with a text. I’m thinking of you today. I’m sending love.
Jake woke, and emerged from the tent looking tousled and sexy.
“That was quite a night,” he said with a wink.
She watched him pull on his wetsuit again from behind her dark glasses. He swung around and caught her.
“You okay?”
“Just checking out the view,” she said.
She walked down to the beach with him and went for a swim, although she waited until he was well out in the waves to take her sundress off. The water was sublime. She dove under a wave and emerged completely refreshed. She heard a whistle, and saw Jake was waving at her. Then, he pointed at something. To her complete delight, there was a pod of about six dolphins riding the waves a little further out.
“Oh my god!” Michi shrieked. “Oh wow!” She clapped her hands and jumped up and down, and swam toward them for a closer look.
Afterward, they emerged from the ocean together, and Michi felt freer than she had in a long time. Perhaps ever. She didn’t even care that she was standing on the beach with Jake in nothing but her bikini.
“I wish we could stay another day,” Michi said.
“You’re only here for a short time, and your parents would kill me if you spent most of it here.”
Michi gave him a look that said being killed by her parents was a more appealing option than returning to Sydney today. “One more day?”
“They’ve done the right thing by me. So I’m doing the same for them. You’re going home.” He softened slightly. “But let’s hang out in Sydney too, okay?”
“I bet there won’t be dolphins.”
“I’ll find some for you at Bondi.”
They lugged everything back to the car, and once it was loaded headed back toward the freeway. Michi wished they’d gone on a much longer road trip. She found herself wanting this one to never end. Jake entertained her with a hair-raising tale about breaking down in the middle of the Northern Territory, half a day from anywhere. She told him about the first time she ever harvested corneas from a body. She felt like she wanted to talk to him forever. But all talk stopped the moment they drove up her parents’ street and she noticed a black Mercedes parked in the driveway. Her whole body tensed, and Jake sensed it immediately.
“Michi, what’s wrong?”
“Keep driving.”
“What do you mean?"
“Keep driving!” she snapped.
Jake drove past Keith and Kayoko’s house and Michi watched as a large man with gray hair got out of the Mercedes and walked toward her parents’ house.
“Take me back to your place, Jake,” Michi said stone-faced.
“Who is he?”
“No one I want to see.”
Michi turned her head and watched the north shore slip by as Jake drove her back to his place in Bondi.
*
Jake lived in a lovely little two-bed apartment on Beach Road, about five minutes’ walk from Bondi Beach. It was sunny and airy, with steps down from the kitchen to a shared garden. The flat was filled with large comfortable couches and bright rugs and cushions. There were some black-and-white framed photos on the walls, and the fridge was plastered with more photos.
“Who else lives here?” Michi looked around at what was definitely a woman’s touch.
“I came to stay with a mate’s sister when I first arrived. Just for a week. During that week, her other roommate met a bloke and bailed on her. So I took the room. I’ve claimed Libby as my own sister now. I love her.”
“Is she here?”
“No, you probably passed her at the airport. She’s gone back to the UK for a couple of weeks.” Jake smiled kindly. “You can have her room. She won’t mind.”
“Thanks. I appreciate it.”
Jake looked as though he wanted to ask more questions, but held back. Instead, he kept things light, and kept Michi laughing, which she appreciated.
They ate dinner at a Thai place down the road, and then went for a walk along the beach. Even at night, Bondi was busy, but incredibly beautiful in its own colorful way. Both the north and south ends twinkled with lights from the houses. The pavilion sat in the middle of the promenade like the heart of it all. Michi hadn’t been to Sydney’s eastern suburbs for years. She’d forgotten how mu
ch she liked the area.
They stopped at a beachside bar and took an outside table. Michi checked her phone while Jake went inside to grab some drinks. Four missed calls and two texts. The first one was from Clementine.
I’m back home, got an early flight to be here for Paige. I sorted the flowers too. Also I have HUGE news. But will save it until you’re here. Can’t wait.
No doubt something to do with moving to New York to be with Sam, thought Michi.
And then, a text from her father.
Where are you, moo moo?
Michi quickly texted back: Still camping. Shit coverage here. Xo
A few seconds later he replied.
Okay, honey. Have fun. But remember we’ve got our NYE cruise.
Michi turned her phone off. She wished she were back in London, away from her parents. But then she spotted Jake carrying two seriously garish cocktails and she felt torn.
“I got us something a bit schmancy.” He plunked the glasses down on the table.
“They look like something I’d drink at Club Med.”
“I know, the bartender thought I was a complete dork when I ordered them. But hey, what he thinks of me is none of my business, right?”
“Right.” Michi held her glass up. “To not caring what others think.” She took a long sip through the straw and then reeled back. “What’s in that?”
“I don’t know. Vodka, rum, some weird happy liquor.”
“Are you trying to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me?”
“Pretending to be a wild pig didn’t work.”
“Was that you?”
Jake put his hands up in a “don’t shoot” pose. “I’m joking. It wasn’t me. No idea what it was.” And then he grinned. “But I’d like to meet it one day and shake its paw. I liked having you in my tent.”
Michi laughed and then sipped her drink. “God, this is great.”
“The view helps.”
“I love it. It’s busy, though. Doesn’t Bondi do your head in?”
“No, I get to work and surf. And when I need to get away from it all, I do. Pretty simple.” He watched her for a moment. “Michi, what are we going to do about your parents? I don’t want to lie to them.”
“I just need a day to clear my head and then I’ll go back.” She leaned across the table. “Don’t you want me around?”
“I’m enjoying every minute of it. It’s just I know how much they were looking forward to your visit.”
“Then they should focus on me and stop having other visitors.”
Jake watched her carefully. “Who was that man?”
Michi shook her head. “Doug. He’s a friend of my father’s.”
“Yeah, but what did he do to you?”
*
Michi woke. The party up on deck was so noisy. That wasn’t unusual. Her parents always had noisy parties, but she usually slept through them. She’d learned that that was the best way for them to be over with quickly. Michi didn’t like it when her parents had parties. All the adults pretended to be nice to her when they first arrived, but then they’d get drunk, and they’d ignore her, or even worse, say stupid things to her.
“Owwww, aren’t you a little cutie doll … come here and give Aunty Margot/Sam/Roz/Tanya a kiss.”
They scared her. Michi preferred it when the adults got so drunk they didn’t see her.
Michi needed to do a wee. She lay in her bed and willed herself to go back to sleep, but couldn’t. She didn’t want to wet the bed. She was a big girl. She didn’t do that anymore.
The rocking of the boat made it worse. She could hear the slapping of waves against the side. She got up and tiptoed to the door. She opened it a crack. There was no one there. She slipped out and ran along the corridor toward the bathroom. She could hear music and laughter on deck. She heard a moan in her parents’ room, like someone was being hurt. She ran to the door. It was open. She peered through. And then she saw him. Her daddy’s friend Doug was moving back and forward behind her own mother, who was kneeling on all fours on the bed. They were both naked. As was Michi’s father, who sat on a chair watching them.
Doug turned. He noticed Michi. He didn’t stop. He didn’t say anything. He just smiled at her.
Michi ran back to her room before her parents saw her, wetting her pants on the way.
*
Jake didn’t say anything for a long time. Finally he spoke. “And you’ve never told your parents?”
Michi shook her head. “Why would I? They thought their behavior was appropriate. By the time I was old enough to realize it wasn’t … the moment had passed.”
“But if they knew—”
“They’d what? Replace what they took from me that night?”
“You need to discuss this with them,” Jake said.
“I’d prefer to just forget the whole thing.”
“But you haven’t.”
Michi was immovable. “I’ve dealt with this my own way.”
“By living in London,” Jake said.
“Yes.” She stared straight at him. “My father is a shrink. He’d have a field day with this shit. That’s not what I want.”
“What do you want?”
“I want now what I wanted then: to feel safe.” She looked him in the eye, a mixture of defiance and shame. “Boring, eh? I’m not very cool, am I?”
Jake stood and held out his hand. “Come on, I’ll take you home.”
And they walked back to his place hand in hand.
*
Michi spent the next two days exploring Bondi with Jake. They ate every meal out on the bustling sidewalk cafes and restaurants. She got caught up in the local coffee culture, and dragged Jake in search of the perfect brew. She walked along the coastal pathways from Bondi to Bronte beach while Jake went for a surf. The view was gorgeous and at one point she spotted a pod of dolphins. She smiled—Jake had been right. She felt happier than she had in a long time and could see herself doing the walk daily, if she lived in the area.
If she lived in the area?
Jake had gotten under her skin. She enjoyed his company immensely. The easy rhythm they’d fallen into was weaving its spell. Oh, the spark was there. She could feel the heat between them. And the Luna Park kiss was never far from her mind. But Jake seemed to sense her need for space, and never again crossed the line. Which made her both admire and curse him.
Jake broached the subject of her parents a couple of times, but never pushed it further until dinner on the second night.
“I don’t like keeping your whereabouts from your parents.”
Michi tried to keep things light. “You’ve got to choose sides, Jake.”
Jake wasn’t in the mood for light. “That would be difficult.”
Michi was surprised by this. “Why?”
“Your parents helped me through a rough time.”
“How nice of them,” Michi sniped.
“Mich, I’m not diminishing what happened to you, but give them the opportunity to take responsibility for that.”
Michi motioned the waiter for the check. “I’ll think about it.”
But it was obvious she wasn’t going to.
*
Michi woke early on New Year’s Eve to voices and immediately knew the day could only go downhill from here.
Her parents were there.
She got dressed and joined them.
Kayoko jumped up from the lounge to hug her daughter. “Hello, darling. How was camping?”
“It was great, thanks.” She turned to Jake. “What’s going on?”
Keith gave Jake an affectionate nod. “Jake called us.”
Michi gave him a look that said, you traitor. “Did he now?”
Jake stood, completely unapologetic. “Life’s too short, Michi.” And with that he left.
Michi wanted to roar after him and kick the crap out of him for doing this to her. Instead, she had to listen as her father pleaded with her.
“Your mother and I have been hurt by the di
stance you’ve put between us.”
“That distance between us is nothing new, Dad.”
“I know that, Michi. But it’s been particularly noticeable this time.” Keith had an edge to his voice. “Jake has explained to us why it’s there.”
Kayoko looked like she was about to cry.
Michi thought she’d implode with rage. She couldn’t believe Jake had betrayed her like this.
Keith stood and walked over to his daughter. “I had no idea, Moo.” He was close to tears. “An apology isn’t sufficient. Your mother and I … we’ve lived a certain way that might not be conventional, but it works for us.” He took a deep breath. “But if I’d know the impact it was having on you.”
“How could you not know?”
Keith paled. “I don’t know, Moo. I should’ve. I missed it.” He reached for her hand but she stepped back. “We can work through this.”
“I’m not your fucking patient. I’m your daughter.”
Keith changed tack. “We’ll get someone else to work with us on this. One of my colleagues—”
Michi flew off the handle. “I don’t want to be in therapy with you. I don’t want to be analyzed. I don’t want someone digging inside my head. That’s all bullshit.”
Keith was distraught. “What do you want?”
“Parent who are grown-ups,” sneered Michi. “I want what I’ve never had.”
She desperately wanted to grab something and smash it. But she couldn’t. Nothing here belonged to her. She was a stranger here, in this home, with these people. In the whole bloody country.
“And all I can ask …” Keith’s voice cracked. “All I can ask …”
And that was it. Her father broke down sobbing. Michi was mortified.
Kayoko placed a comforting arm around Keith. “Your father is asking forgiveness. We both are.”
Michi wanted to run. “It’s okay. I forgive you. No one ever touched me.”
“Not physically. But your spirit.” Keith looked at her, eyes filled with grief as well as tears. “You were a little girl. And we took something from you.”
There was a ringing in her ears. “I don’t want to do this.”
“You’ve got no choice,” Kayoko snapped. “You have to give us a chance.”
Michi looked down at her shoes. And with that she started to cry. And cry. She sat down on the sofa with one parent either side of her while she sobbed and sobbed. And they held her. It took a long time, but eventually she stopped. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d cried in front of her parents. Or the last time they’d just sat there and comforted her, and not analyzed her.
