Thrax leaned on the railing, calling forth the words that had rolled and spun through his mind all night. “Agena,” he asked, “may I tell you what I have been thinking? Honestly?”
“Yes, please,” she said.
“You’re correct that everything I said to you last night was what I truly feel about what we’re here to do—beyond the sex alone. I spoke from my heart, and I spoke true. But when we say what we mean…we do not always say everything that we mean. There are some meanings, sometimes, that we don’t realize. When I spoke to you, there were other things I meant, things I could not say at the time. Things I could only really know when I was alone and could think about my words.” He bowed and shook his head. “This is difficult. My words crash into each other. I thought I could explain this better.”
“Take your time,” said Agena. “Just tell me the best you can.”
He lifted his head again and continued. “I spoke of how proud I am to be a Knight. And I am. I’ve been proud since I first came to the Spires for Squire training. I’ve been proud of every achievement as a pupil, every skill that I mastered, every step that I took to become a full-fledged Knight. I’ve been proud of advancing from one color of rank, to two, to three. The Knighthood has been my home and my identity. It has framed and colored everything about me and my life and what I think and feel about myself. I hardly know where the Knighthood ends and I begin; that is how much I’ve given myself to this life.
And truly, I’ve never wanted any other identity. I have never wanted to be anyone or anything else but what I am. But now, the laws and customs of my world tell me that I must put aside that identity, the only thing that I want to be, to become something else, something that I did not choose. I’m commanded to go from warrior dragon to prize bull. It is as if I’m now called upon to change the way that I see myself. And that is the thing I’ve been resisting.”
“I understand,” said Agena. “But Thrax…not being a warrior for a while and helping your world in a different way doesn’t change who you are. You see that, don’t you?”
Now, their eyes locked together, and they felt a charge between them, as if they felt their eyes doing what they wished their bodies were doing. Neither of them completely welcomed that feeling at this moment. It could only make things unclear. Nevertheless, there it was.
“I do see that,” Thrax said in a half-whisper.
“But still, this is something different from anything else you’ve ever been commanded to do,” she realized aloud. “Your people have sent you to guard ships and cities, to bring down lawbreakers, to go into battles, and you’ve done it all because you see that as who you are and it’s what you love. You’ve seen yourself being a Knight and a warrior. You’ve just never seen yourself being a father.”
“It’s true,” said Thrax. “This change in my image of who I am is not one I’ve been prepared to accept.”
“Because you think it would tie you to another kind of life, something that’s outside what you think about yourself.”
“Yes.”
“Thrax, we talked about this last night. I’m ready to take first responsibility for the child. Even full responsibility. This doesn’t have to be anything more for you than what we do together while we’re here.”
“We did speak of this,” he argued. “And I say now as I said then -- I cannot do that to a child. I cannot create a life and have it believe for one moment that its father did not want it or did not care. My conscience will not allow it. What we do here cannot help but change my life. It is inevitable.”
Agena leaned back her head and rolled her eyes, feeling very much as if the two of them were flying in circles like the patrol over Lake Shimmershine, but with far less purpose. “I don’t know where that leaves us, then,” she sighed.
“It all comes back to one thing,” said Thrax. “To break through this impasse where we now find ourselves, something must change.” There was a deep and meaningful pause, Agena fixed her eyes on him once more, anticipating something, but she did not know what. And then Thrax said, “The thing to change must be me. I must change.”
She was truly startled. “You…?”
“Yes, I,” he said. “I cannot abandon my duty, and I cannot abandon my calling. The only way through what we now face is for me to change.”
“How can you do that?”
“I thought very long about this through the night. I thought about my station, about what it means, about what I do. About the nature of being a Knight and what it demands of each of us who wear the skin and the colors and the badge. There is one fundamental truth in it all, and that is that when we take up the Knighthood, we accept the need for risk.”
“Risk?”
“Yes, Agena—risk. We risk danger. We risk injury and perhaps death. Risk. What I’m called to do now is a risk of a different kind. I risk myself. I risk doing something unlike anything I’ve ever done before. I risk all the things that I fear a child may face with me as its father. I risk the possibility of failing my child or of making him feel as if he matters to me less than other things. I risk creating a young life and breaking its heart. Risking these things will change me as a man, and perhaps as a Knight as well. But risk is what we do. It is who we are. It is who I am. Last night, I came to see that.”
“Thrax,” Agena suggested, “maybe you’re looking at this the wrong way.”
“How so?” he asked.
“You’re afraid of being an absent father and what that will do to your son—or daughter. But you’ve been saying yourself what you’ll be absent for, what you’ll be doing when you’re gone. You won’t be gone because you don’t care about your child. It won’t be because you’re selfish and you’re away doing whatever you want to do while your child wonders where you are and why you’re not there.
It’ll be because you’re doing something important for other people. And you talk about how proud you are of being a Knight—and you should be. Maybe if we explain to our son or daughter why you’re away, and show him what you do and why it’s important—maybe he’ll be just as proud as you are. He might miss you, yes. He might wish you were around more, that’s true.
But maybe he’ll be proud of his Daddy. And maybe he’ll want to grow up to be just like you. Thrax, being who you are and doing what you do doesn’t have to break your child’s heart. You’ll be a good example. And maybe he’ll turn out to be a good person because of you.”
Agena slid her hand across the rail to touch his. Thrax looked at their hands together and took in the feeling of her skin against his own. It felt refreshing, like the dew on the leaves and the first cool air of night turning to day. He met her eyes and felt as if he were waking up all over again.
“I did not think of things in that way,” he admitted. “Perhaps it’s because I am a Knight, after all. We think in very linear, very direct ways. Duty and orders and deeds. Look straight ahead, no distractions. Think of one thing and one thing only until it is done. This is our way. At times, we think of things in one way and do not see anything else. But it’s true, I never considered that.”
She kept her hand there, and they both appreciated the simple pleasure of reassurance by touch. For the moment, they needed no words. This was all the understanding they required.
But at length, Thrax did speak up again. “There was one other thing that I thought of last night,” he said. “It’s one other thing that makes all the difference, at least to me. And, I hope, to you as well.”
“What’s that?” she asked.
“When you left the table last night, you took all your expectations with you. And I soon realized…you also took all of mine.”
“Expectations?”
“Yes. We both know why we are here. We both know what the two of us were brought together to do. But at least at first it meant something different to each of us. For me, it meant a duty that I had not asked for, that I had not sought, and that I had done everything to avoid. But when you left to spend the night alone, I knew something had ch
anged.” He took his hand from hers, only to take her hand again and entwine their fingers together. A world of feelings stirred inside Agena once again.
“The one last thing that makes a difference in everything is just that I know…that I want you, Agena. I do. I expressed my desire then, and I repeat it now. I came out here to see you this morning, hoping that I had not offended and disappointed you so that your feelings had changed. I want you. Not for the purpose of making a child, but for the pleasure of your body and mine, together in bed.
I want us to do to one another everything that would make us happy. There is one benefit of the Courtship: It takes away all of the complications and uncertainties and doubts and reservations and all the games that people play that may not get them what they want. It simplifies everything. The simple truth is that I very much want us to go to bed together, if you will still have me. Today. I offer my body to you, Agena—today.”
She reached out with her free hand to touch his face—the first thing she wanted to touch but by no means the last. He was handsomeness and sensuality personified, strength wrapped in pure sex.
“I’m so happy you feel that way,” she said. “Yes, Thrax. Yes. Today.”
Thrax let her keep her hand on his face and travel with her fingers down to his neck and shoulders. Down below, beneath his trousers, the part of him that he most wanted her to touch pulsed with readiness for her. “Then here is what I propose,” he said. “First, we take breakfast, which will end more happily than our dinner. Then, you join me in a bath. And then, to bed. All day and all night, and all tomorrow, and onward. Do you accept?”
Agena smiled widely, beaming her happiness at him. Her answer came almost as a laugh. “Yes. Yes, Thrax, I accept.”
Smiling back at her, he said, “Then let me offer you this to begin.”
And with all the decisiveness that he would show on a mission or in a battle, Thrax reached for her, took her by the waist, pulled her to him, brought her face to his own stubbled handsomeness, and claimed her mouth in a fiery kiss. A burst of pleasure filled Agena’s being.
She gave herself to the kiss, wrapped her arms around his bare shoulders, took in the delicious crush of his powerful arms encircling and capturing her, and delighted in the hardness of his muscles and in the smoothness of his skin, the preamble to everything else she wanted. The kiss lasted a long time, but eventually, he took his mouth from hers while keeping his face close.
“Then let us call for service, have last night’s dishes taken away, and order breakfast. And after we have taken food…I shall have you.”
This time, Agena kissed Thrax, long and hard, pleasing him with her acceptance and sealing the bargain.
_______________
It was not the most romantic thing Thrax could have asked her, but under the circumstances, it was necessary:
“Where do you want to wear your data collector?”
After breakfast, they had adjourned to the common bathroom off the central area of the suite, with a large, circular sunken bathtub that might as well be thought of as an artificial, miniature pond. Thrax and Agena had stripped naked, as they had done to swim together in Serpent’s Tongue Stream, and filled the little bathing pond with warm water. Then they waded in together, and Thrax, once again showing her his awesome erection, strode through the water and presented her with a malleable piece of artificial dragon skin.
The data collector was a most valuable tool for their Courtship and the consummation of their pairing. It was designed to collect and display information both from Agena’s body and her surroundings. It would monitor all of her body functions and tell her when conception occurred. It had a biofeedback function that would synchronize her sexual responses with his and give them simultaneous orgasms, increasing their already voracious desire for one another’s body.
It could also monitor Thrax’s sperm count and give Agena data on the availability of caregivers and health aides at the polyclinic, putting her in touch with them if required. All she needed was to put it on any part of her body she wanted, and it would become almost a part of her own natural skin, a patch of reptile on the mammal.
Agena considered the possibilities and finally settled on the most convenient thing. “Around my wrist.”
She held up her left wrist, and Thrax stretched the patch of false scales into a band and put it on her like a bracelet. With a cool sensation, the collector bonded itself to Agena, and that part of the deed was done. Thrax kept hold of her wrist and lifted the back of her hand to his lips to kiss it—the last chaste kiss they would ever have.
He gave his mouth and tongue to hers, and they began to feel and caress each other intimately. At last, Agena had what she most wanted: his breathtaking nakedness pressed against her body, offered up for her to touch and feel all over.
At last, she could stroke the generous length and thickness of his veined member, incredibly hot and hard and throbbing; and tenderly cup his full, round milk pouch. And at last, she knew the pleasure of his hands cupping her breasts and his thumbs playing at her nipples. She poured her desire into him as they had filled the tub with water, and together, they filled each other up with delight.
“I know they’re not the biggest you’ve ever felt,” she said, referring to her breasts as he lapped at her mouth. “Playing hard sports doesn’t give you a very big bust.”
“Hush,” he said, licking her lips. “They are perfect, and I want them. I want all of you.” He slid one hand down to her bush and sifted her hairs with his fingers, sending a delicious jolt through her. Then he explored further, his fingers reaching the folds of her secret place, which had grown as wet as the water lapping at their knees and would now be no secret from him.
“I most want this. And I feel how much you want me in you.” He kissed her again, deeply, while strumming her folds. “We wasted time last night. We’ll waste no more time. I’m going to be in and out of you so very much. Over and over…”
“Yes. Please, yes…” she softly moaned into his kiss.
They sank to their knees into the water, submerging themselves from the stomach down, and now everything was flesh and wetness. Bodies and mouths pressing together, they grasped each other’s buttocks and made the water seem that hotter for the heat of their togetherness. Thrax’s hard pecs crushed her soft bosom, and they moaned softly together in mid-kiss. They stayed that way for the longest time, not wanting this first embrace to end. But finally, Thrax parted the embrace to move over and lean back against the rim of the sunken tub and hold out his arm to Agena to invite her to his side.
Agena positioned herself next to him, and he put one arm around her while directing his other hand back to her breasts to wet them down. She returned the favor by reaching under the water and down between his legs to grasp his needy hard-on once more. The feeling of his stiff and livid pole in the warm water made Agena all the more eager to feel that same stiffness inside her own warm, wet reaches. In the meantime, she let him smooth the water over her breasts and nipples and capture her mouth in kiss after kiss.
Sensing her need for more, and eager to give her all that she wanted and then some, Thrax took his hand from her bosom down under the water to the treasure at the junction of her thighs. She moaned, “Ooohhh…” into his kiss at the feeling of his fingers slipping from the wetness of the tub into the wetness of her, and in response, he probed her mouth with his tongue even as he probed her womanhood with his fingers. Agena answered him by pulling down his foreskin and teasing the head of his war club, then squeezing the shaft, and finally going down to cup his pouch in the palm of her hand, making him grunt into her mouth.
“You make me want you,” he said in a low, husky voice. “I want to do such things to you…” Agena slipped her mouth from his and began to kiss and nibble at the cords of his neck, making him curse lustily. He took his fingers out of her but was not done with her in this way yet. Expertly, skillfully, he took his touch to the pulpy little female counterpart of the maleness that she was caressing
, and he began to strum away as if playing a tune on a tiny musical instrument.
The music that he made rose forth as Agena’s sighs and whimpers of rising pleasure. He strummed at her slowly, then quickly, then slowly again, alternating his tempo and making her sing an overture to the other things he’d be doing to her soon enough.
Agena returned the favor by concentrating the attention of her fingers on the sensitive tip of his maleness, swirling her touch around its yawning aperture and probing with her fingertip the opening from which he would pour his seed into her. Thrax tightened the grip of his arm around her and strummed at her bud more urgently, moaning his approval and cursing more like an ancient Earth sailor than like a courtly dragon Knight of the stars.
Their exploring and playing with each other went on and on until Thrax realized in some corner of his mind that if he let this go on much further, he would be at risk of making Agena come, triggering his own orgasm through the data collector and spilling his seed into the water instead of inside her. That, he thought, would not do.
THRAX (Dragons Of The Universe Book 1) Page 9
