Nicholae’s head sank. “I let you guys go...thinking it was the best thing for you, for your own safety. I’ll never know if it was the right decision or not. I understand you not wanting to let her go. It can be one of the most difficult things to do. After all I’ve missed in your life, I want to do what I can to help you now.”
“What about Mom?”
“Desiree will be safe here. There’s no reason for anyone but us to come into this building. We’ll keep this between us. No reason to elicit more criticism. Sometimes we need to make the hard decisions that others might not understand.”
I walked up to her and circled the still body of the girl who meant everything to me.
“Do you want to keep trying to get through to her?” Nicholae asked.
“Yes,” I answered. She felt warm when I placed a hand on her arm. Her beautiful, angry emerald eyes stared straight ahead. Her chest didn’t have the rhythmic rising and falling from her breathing, especially from such a heated state. She was a complete statue.
“Are you just going to leave her like this?” I asked.
“It’s safer this way—for all three of us,” Nicholae said, and then offhandedly added, “and quieter.”
He raised a hand and Desiree’s body slowly lifted off the ground, pivoted to a lying position, and floated to the bed. The covers pulled back prior to her body lightly touching down on the mattress. I grabbed the covers before they could do the work themselves and pulled them up to her chin.
“How do we find her mirror?” I asked. “That’s our next move, right?”
“It’s a good place to start. You can try to coax her mind to remember. Just like with you, the memories are in there somewhere, locked away. They’re not gone—they never are, even from life to life. Nothing is ever truly gone. You just have to find the right room and the right key.”
“I’m going to get her back.”
“I know you are,” Nicholae said. “But for now, you should get some sleep.”
“I will, soon. I want to stay with her a while.”
“Make sure there’s no one around when you leave,” Nicholae said, making his way for the wall where the door had been. “So we can keep her hidden for now.”
We said goodnight to each other and Nicholae disappeared through the wall.
I gazed down at Desiree’s statuesque body. Her wide eyes were beginning to creep me out and luckily they closed when I pushed her eyelids down. Now she looked like she was merely sleeping. I thought of all the fairy tale endings when the princess was awakened by “true love’s kiss” and wished it were true. But the fleeting dismissive thought didn’t stop me from leaning in and trying it once.
If it was only that easy.
I climbed into the bed beside her, nestled under the covers, and draped an arm across her still body. She’d find her way back to me. I believed in that simple, yet powerful intention.
“Goodnight, Desiree,” I said and closed my eyes. “I love you.”
10
Under Water
The next morning was a warm reminder that summer wasn’t far off, even though it was still in the first weeks of spring. For breakfast, I went to the cafeteria with Logan, Darius, and Autumn, the girl we had saved from the last camp. Mom was already gone when I awoke. Logan had risen as his normal self again, the effects of the hallucinogens fully drained from his system. All three of them asked about Desiree. I had to uphold the facade and told them she’d been taken home, and I didn’t have to fake hurt feelings over the decision to do so. Logan and I grabbed waffles and eggs while Darius scooped oatmeal into a bowl. Autumn decided on toast and fruit. As usual, there were plenty of long metal tables to choose from, so we claimed an empty corner for ourselves.
Not long after we sat down to eat, Micah and Isolde entered the cafeteria with their mother, Gloriana. I called them over to join our table.
“How did you all sleep?” Logan asked after introductions to Darius and Autumn.
“Fine,” Gloriana said. “It will just take some getting used to.”
“This is no one’s real home,” Logan said. “It’s an adjustment for everyone.”
“What’s there to do here?” Micah asked. He tucked his long blonde hair behind his ears before starting to eat. Several slices of toast and an assortment of cut fruit filled his plate like he had stolen them straight from Autumn’s tray. He was tall and slender, as was his younger sister—though her hair was darker, more like Desiree’s.
Isolde glanced over at me with pale doe eyes and olive skin like she spent a great deal of her time outdoors. I guessed she was about my age, maybe a year or two younger. She had an expectant look like she was waiting for me to formally address her or steal her away for our own private conversation. For our first meeting, I’d already seen her in nothing but her underwear, and the thought made me feel uneasy to meet her eyes.
“We’ve been helping a few towns nearby,” Autumn said. “Clearing them out—of dead bodies and stuff, trying to help those we can and bury those we can’t. The people here need a lot of help.”
“Yes, we know,” Gloriana said. “We were all lucky enough not to fall onto anything life-threatening, but we saw the total devastation of this place. We helped a few people ourselves...until we were picked up.”
“So you know what we’re up against,” Logan said.
“Yes,” Gloriana continued. “And we want to do all we can to help. The three of us.”
We finished our breakfast with small talk. I wanted to sneak away from everyone to visit Desiree, but I was sure it would arouse too much suspicion. Like Nicholae had said last night, I had to be careful.
Colton and Gulliver (whom I barely remembered from Beta Team) guarded the door into town to make sure everyone coming and going were within our group. Nicholae thought it was safest to keep an open link to the camp. Mom and Mr. Gordon were already in town, a small suburb of Doria called Valencia, and I was ready to join the relief effort after quickly freshening up in my room. I joined the rest of our breakfast clan at the door and saw Nicholae striding toward us with Ingrid at his heels.
“Come with me,” he said to Logan and me, and then turned to the two door guards. “Everything good?”
“Yes, sir,” Colton said.
Nicholae gave him and Gulliver an appreciative nod and beckoned for us to follow him. “We have some other matters to attend to.”
I hoped his plan for us was to begin the search for Desiree’s mirror, that he’d be letting Logan in on the secret. I knew we’d be able to trust him. But I didn’t want to bring it up just in case this was not Nicholae’s intention at all.
Instead I asked, “What do you have for us this morning?”
“If you guys are going to personally help me out on more important matters, then there is more training necessary,” Nicholae said, leading us to one of the empty training buildings.
“What are we gonna work on?” Logan asked.
Even though Nicholae was almost exactly my size, height and build, the pace by which he walked caused me to jog every few strides just to keep up with him. He was definitely walking with purpose like we were running out of time, which for all I knew, we were. Ingrid stalked behind all of us to keep the entire group in her line of sight.
The building we entered was nothing more than an empty warehouse, like where I’d had my target practice training and where Nicholae had kept his hostages. It had a tall ceiling with exposed metal framing and a concrete floor that pronounced every step we took.
“Do you want to be part of the team to attack Kafka and his guards, to be on the front line?” Nicholae asked, standing stoically in the center of the room.
“Yes, of course,” I answered without hesitation.
I could tell by the hint of a grin that he’d been expecting my answer, but he needed the validation of hearing me say it.
“Absolutely,” Logan said, his face turning cold and hard. “He killed my father. Alexandria locked me away and tried to make me her bitch. She go
t the best of me at the asylum this last time. If I’d been alone with her, I would have been screwed.”
“If you find yourself alone with any of the Lornes, then your chances are not good,” Nicholae said. “They—we have lifetimes of experience on you. That’s just a fact. But as a team, you can quickly become a major contributor. There are many newer members of Kafka’s Lorne Royal Guard who don’t have much more experience than you. Some of them are strong fighters, but they don’t have the abilities you’ve been cultivating. You’re already learning how to render their military experience useless.”
“And then there’s Eli,” I said. “He knew nothing before I introduced him to Provex City and the Lornes only a few months ago, if that.”
“But he’s quickly become Kafka’s new protégé. If he’s a fast learner, there’s no telling what he will be—what he’s already capable of.”
“I can handle Eli, no problem. He’s not a threat.” I glanced over at Logan and he gave me a nod like we were going to take him down together.
“Kafka’s not having him trained; he’s training the boy himself. If he wasn’t picking things up fast, Kafka wouldn’t be wasting his time. Don’t underestimate your friend.”
“He is not my friend,” I seethed.
“Take your anger and focus it into something useful. Blind anger will leave you distracted and sloppy. Focused anger will ignite an obsession—an obsession you need to survive.”
Nicholae paused for a moment, and within the blink of an eye, Logan was standing directly beside him. He had gone from positioned by my side to Nicholae’s side almost instantly, with no noticeable movement.
“What just happened?” I asked, feeling suddenly disoriented.
“What do you feel happened?” Nicholae replied.
“I—I don’t know,” I said, which was the truth.
Logan started laughing like he was in on a joke I wasn’t privy to.
“I froze both of you the first time for only a few seconds,” Nicholae started. Logan stopped laughing. “Nothing in this room is moving and I remained still while you were out, so no point of reference for either of you changed. The jump in time was seamless.” Nicholae gave a sidelong glance to Logan, who was listening more intently now, realizing the joke was not just on me.
“Oliver, I froze you alone the second time and asked Logan to come stand by me while you were under. That way, when you came back there was a very obvious change to your surroundings. But the time in between was still seamless. Did you have any awareness of lost time?”
I shook my head. “It was disconcerting to see Logan disappear and reappear within a split second.”
“Think about waking up in a brand new place, and instead of a few seconds, it had been a few hours or a few days. How do you feel about losing that amount of time instantly?”
“Not very good,” I replied.
“So you see, this is not an ability to be abused,” Nicholae said. “It must be respected.”
My thoughts turned to Desiree, lying in her door-less room, unaware any time was passing, and I felt bad for her. I didn’t know if he was indirectly talking about Desiree’s situation, but the intensity in his gaze told me he was—at least in part.
“We should only use it when necessary,” I said, returning his intensity back to him.
“Precisely, but the other side of the coin is to not be a victim of it, either. It’s a very powerful tool, one Kafka’s been using for lifetimes. There are only a few of us who have anywhere near the kind of control and precision he has. It’s hard enough to target one person, let alone many in a tight vicinity.”
“Can you do that?” Logan asked, making his way back toward me.
“I can do a few, but not a large group. But I can block his intrusion, which is what I want to focus on with the both of you. His attacks are stronger than anyone else’s, but if you’re part of a mass assault, then it’s weaker on each individual. That will be your saving grace until you’re well practiced. So when I freeze both of you simultaneously, it will be easier for each one of you to resist. And I’ll make it even easier.”
The door we’d entered through opened under its own power, and Nicholae called for Ingrid to come inside. She sauntered in with her head low and dropped onto her haunches at Nicholae’s right side.
“Now you know it’s coming,” Nicholae said. “The first step is awareness. You can’t stop that which you’re unaware. I’ll count down so you know exactly when it is coming. The power will roll over you like a wave. Look for it. Try to feel it when it strikes. Once you can feel it, you can keep it from pulling you under like a riptide. Use your awareness to remain afloat until it passes. Okay, here we go. Five, four, three, two, one.”
I waited briefly before asking, “Did you do it?”
“Yes,” Nicholae said. “About fifteen seconds.”
“I didn’t feel anything,” I said and glanced over at Logan.
“Neither did I,” he said.
Ingrid was still perched regally at Nicholae’s feet. I watched her just long enough to notice that she wasn’t still frozen, just still.
“It’s okay,” Nicholae said. “I wasn’t expecting either of you to get it on the first try. These are abilities that can take years to perfect.”
“I don’t think we have years,” Logan said.
“We most definitely do not, so perfection is out of the question. Adequate control of the basics is all we’re after at this time. Defense. I just need you to be able to defend yourselves. Offense comes later.”
Nicholae counted down again, and again we had a fifteen-second jump in time with no awareness of its passing.
“Picture the wave coming at you. It will help you prepare for the surge and fight to stay afloat,” Nicholae said and began his countdown.
I tried to see an imaginary wave, with water rushing around Nicholae like he was a boulder in the middle of wild rapids, and braced myself for the impact. I saw it approaching like a galloping wall, but before it could reach me, it was gone. Nicholae suddenly stood farther away, pacing with his hands clasped behind his back several steps behind Ingrid.
“I pictured it coming toward me, like you said, but it didn’t do any good,” I said.
“Again,” was all Nicholae said.
Between the time I was awake and the time I was frozen, I didn’t know how much actual time was passing. I began to feel the warped sense of time from my stay in the asylum.
The world just feels wrong when you can’t trust how much time is passing.
“Focus goddamnit!” Nicholae yelled. “Focus like your lives depend on it because I can guarantee you, they will.”
I flinched with Nicholae’s sudden outburst and felt a heavy lump in the pit of my stomach. His gaze was burning a hole into me and I had to break away, my eyes dropping to the floor.
“I’m sorry,” I said meekly.
“Don’t apologize,” Nicholae said. “Focus. I’m not doing this for me. It’s for you. Again!”
I saw nothing barreling toward me and felt nothing when the invisible wave hit me. Nicholae’s pacing made him look like we was randomly jumping through space and time like an electron, which were the only signs that we’d been frozen again.
“I felt something,” Logan said.
Nicholae stopped and faced us. “Go on,” he said.
Now I really felt like I was letting my father down. I finally felt deep in my bones that I was falling behind Eli.
“It’s hard to describe,” Logan said. “I felt like I was hit by an invisible force, but didn’t have the time or energy to react. It was here and I was gone. I experienced the same time lapse.”
“Which is nothing to be ashamed of,” Nicholae said. “It’s a very good first step. Awareness is key—awareness is always key. Next time, let the wave hit you, but focus on not letting it pull you under. Stay awake. Again!”
I hated being behind everyone. First Desiree and now Logan. It made me furious, which maybe wasn’t such a bad thing. I har
nessed my fury and focused it toward the incoming wave. The water flowed up and around Nicholae like a flood, determined to pull me under like it had done so many previous times. I pictured the rush, and as I did, it slowed down. Time slowed down, but didn’t stop. And when it flowed over my helpless body, I gazed upon Nicholae, his body rippling above the surface. I was helpless to swim up, helpless to move at all, but I was still here. My body wasn’t sinking down to the murky depths. It remained suspended right where the wave had hit me. And the wave continued to flow over me.
Nicholae stepped closer, all of his attention on me, obviously convinced that something was different this time. I wanted to tell him, to scream to him, but all I could do was stare back at him. When all the water had passed, Nicholae stood directly before me.
My lungs burned like I’d been holding my breath for too long, so I let all the air out of my body. My shoulders dropped and the tips of my fingers tingled.
“Boo,” Nicholae said, his face inches away from mine.
But I wasn’t startled. I’d seen his entire approach—slow approach. He didn’t appear in front of me like a ghost.
“Boo yourself,” I said.
A wide grin broke out across Nicholae’s face. “Focused anger,” he said. “Often times the best motivator.” Nicholae clapped Logan on the shoulder and returned to his post by Ingrid. “Again.”
Logan caught up to me after a few more rounds and we were both starving by the time Nicholae ended the session. Logan and I went to the cafeteria alone for a late lunch.
Afterward, we ran into Autumn and Darius on the way to our dorm, and I calculated it was a good time for me to successfully slip away. I took inventory of everyone I passed, and when I reached the small building with no door hiding Desiree, I inconspicuously slid inside.
From my experience with the training session, I felt worse about leaving her in this inanimate state. At this time, I still didn’t have any power to release her. I sat on the edge of the bed and stroked her wavy hair.
“This is necessary,” I told myself. “I know you’ll understand,” I said, looking at Desiree.
Archanum Manor Page 12
