by Kai Juniper
I feel my eyes getting heavy and this overwhelming tiredness coming over me.
"What happened?" I ask the nurse. "Why am I so tired?"
"I gave you something to relax so you wouldn't try to get up again."
"I don't want it. I don't want relaxers or pain meds or any of that. I don't like how it makes me feel."
"It's meant to help you. You need to rest for your body to heal."
"I said I don't want it." I try to use a tone that says I'm not messing around but all my voice is capable of is a weak sound that's more like a whisper.
The nurse pulls the sheet over me. "Get some rest."
My eyes struggle to stay open before I finally give in and fall asleep.
"Dean?" I hear her voice but can't open my eyes. Maybe I'm dreaming.
"How long has he been asleep?" I hear her ask.
"Only about twenty minutes. I gave him something to relax. He'll be out for a few hours."
"I really need to talk to him. Will he be awake later today?"
"It depends on his pain level. If we need to increase his meds he'll likely be asleep."
"Can I just sit here with him?"
"Yes, go ahead."
I know she's there. I hear her talking, but I can't make my eyes open to see her.
"Brook." I try to say her name but don't hear any sound coming out.
"I'm right here," she says.
Did she hear me? She couldn't have. Why is she here and not at school? What day is it?
"Dean, it's me. Brook. Can you hear me?"
I try to reach for her but can't. My arms feel like they're weighted down. What the hell did that nurse give me? Whatever it was, she better not give me that again. I'd rather fight through the pain than be numbed to the point I can't even move.
"It's okay," Brook says, her soft hand sliding up and down my arm. "You need to sleep. I miss you so much, Dean. I'm so sorry this happened." I hear her sniffling.
I hate that she's crying for me. I'm not supposed to make her cry. I'm supposed to make her happy. Make her laugh. I'm supposed to be strong for her. Protect her. Take care of her. And instead I'm stuck in this bed, unable to move.
Where's Jake? Why isn't he with her? Maybe he's too young to come in here, or maybe he's afraid to, not wanting to see me this way.
"Jake," I whisper but it was so faint I could barely hear it.
"I'm going to go," I hear Brook say. "I need to let you rest." I feel her hand leave mine as she gets up. "I'll be back later." I feel her lips on my cheek. "I love you."
As she leaves, I feel myself drift off to sleep.
When I wake up again, there's a burning pain in my neck and I have a splitting headache that feels like my brain's about to explode. It's making me nauseous and dizzy, and when I open my eyes I'm seeing double. I blink a few times and my vision goes back to normal, but the headache is still pounding against my skull.
"Have a good nap?" a nurse says, coming in to check the monitors by my bed. She's older than the other nurse, with narrow glasses sitting low on her nose and gray hair pulled up in a bun.
"How long did I sleep?" I ask, my voice no longer a whisper. It still sounds weak but at least I can hear it.
"About eight hours." She looks at me. "How do you feel?"
"Better," I say, as convincing as I can. I don't want them giving me more drugs. I'll fight through the pain if that's what it takes to feel like myself again. I need to be awake and be able to think and talk so I can figure out what the hell's going on.
"How's the pain?" she asks. "From a scale of one to ten, ten being the worst."
"About a five," I tell her, knowing she wouldn't believe me if I told her anything lower than that. The pain is actually more like an eleven but I can deal with it. I play football. I'm used to pain.
"Five?" she says in a skeptical tone. She checks my chart, then nods. "They increased your pain meds. That explains it."
"Increased? I told them to cut back."
"I see that in the notes. But you'd already received the meds when the note was made."
Holy shit. I'm in this much pain when they've still got me loaded up on pain meds? What's it going to feel like when they back off?
"They should be wearing off by now. Your next dose will be lower. Make sure you let us know if you want them increased again." She turns to leave.
"Wait!" I sit up slightly, sending pain shooting through my body.
"Yes?" she says, turning back.
"Was someone here earlier? A girl?"
"I don't know. I just started my shift."
"Were you here yesterday?"
"Yes."
"Did you see a kid come in here? Fifteen. Tall. Skinny."
She looks to the side, then back at me, forcing a smile from her tight lips. "I'm sorry, but no."
"Did you see him in the waiting room? His name is Jacob. He's my younger brother."
She clears her throat. "You should ask your sister. She could answer your questions."
"My sister? I don't have a sister."
"You don't?"
Shit. Is that how Brook got in here? By saying she's my sister? Only family is allowed to see me. I bet she lied and said she was my sister. Wait—did she tell me that or did I dream it? Either way, I think I just ruined any chance of seeing her today. Why the fuck did I say that? I should've kept my mouth shut.
"So who's the girl who keeps coming here?" the nurse asks.
"She's my sister," I rush to say. "I was just confused. The drugs are messing with my head."
"I'll let you rest," the nurse says before taking off.
She's going to go tell the other nurses that Brook lied and not to let her back here. Shit!
The clock on the wall says it's after seven. Brook is probably in the waiting room, thinking she's about to come in here. They'll tell her she can't, and then she'll wonder why I didn't go along with her story. She'll think I didn't want to see her when nothing could be further from the truth.
I need to talk to her. I need to find out what's going on. What happened with my dad? Did they catch him? Is he back in prison? And where the hell is Jacob? Who's taking care of him? I know Brook wouldn't let him stay at the house alone, so is she staying with him? I doubt her mom would be okay with that. Maybe he's staying with Danny. His parents don't have much room at their house but I know they'd take Jake in if Danny told them what was going on. They're good people and they've known Jake and me since we were kids.
Why didn't Brook say anything about Jake when she was here earlier? And why did the nurse act so strange when I asked about him? I just wanted to know if he'd been here but she wouldn't tell me. Why wouldn't she tell me? Why is everyone being so secretive? What are they not telling me?
Chapter Eight
Brook
"What do you mean I can't see him?" I ask as I stand at the nurses' station. I've been waiting for hours to see Dean, waiting for him to wake up, and now he has but they won't let me see him.
"Immediate family only," the nurse says.
"I AM family. I'm his sister."
The old lady nurse gives me a challenging stare, one that says she knows I'm lying.
"I saw him yesterday. And at lunch today. So why can't I see him now?"
"Immediate family only," she says in a stern tone.
Danny walks up beside me. "Are you saying she's not his sister?"
"He told us he doesn't have a sister," she says, pursing her lips. "Now please take a seat."
I sigh. "Okay, I lied, but he doesn't have any family. He just has us." I motion to Danny and me. "We're his friends and we care about him. We just want to see him, even if it's only for a few minutes."
"I'm sorry but rules are rules."
"Are you serious?" Danny says, getting angry. "That's bullshit. What difference does it make?"
"Danny, let's just go sit down." I pull on him to move.
"You let her in there before," he says. "Where's your supervisor?"
"Danny, come on," I say, yanking on his
arm.
"Do I need to call security?" the nurse asks, picking up the phone.
"No," I tell her. "We're sitting down."
"Fucking ridiculous," Danny says as we go back to our seats.
Eve is there, looking at hair coloring kits on her tablet. She's tired of the pink and thinking of switching to purple.
"What happened?" she asks, setting her tablet down.
"They won't let me see him," I say, sitting beside her. "Dean told them I'm not his sister."
"Why would he tell them that?"
I shrug. "Maybe he doesn't want to see me."
"Of course he wants to see you. He was probably just confused. Didn't you say he was really out of it at lunch?"
"Yes, but if he was awake enough to tell her that, he knew what he was saying."
"Not necessarily," Danny says. "When my sister had her wisdom teeth out she woke up and had no idea what she was saying. She didn't even know who we were. She thought Mom was one of her teachers at school."
"That's different," I say. "She was coming off anesthesia."
"Pain drugs can make you just as confused." Eve picks up her tablet. "Want me to look it up to prove it to you?"
"No. I believe you. I'm just sad. I really wanted to see him."
"If he's awake and talking, maybe he'll get out of here soon," Danny says. "Want me to go ask the nurse?"
"She won't tell you. You're not family."
"Maybe it's good you're not seeing him tonight," Eve says. "You know he'd ask you about Jake."
"I still don't know what to tell him. If he finds out the truth, he's going to rip out his IV and leave so he can go find Jake."
"They wouldn't let him do that."
"Maybe not, but he'd still try."
"What do you want to do?" Danny asks. "Stick around here or leave?"
"We might as well go." I get up. "Can one of you give me a ride?"
"I can." Eve quickly gathers up her supplies. She brought more activities to keep us busy while we wait. She missed work again to be here with me. I told her not to but she insisted, and I'm happy she did. Danny doesn't talk much so when it's just him and me, I sit here worrying about Dean and then my mind goes to all the horrible things that could be happening to Jake. I hope none of them are true but I just don't know. If Joe was capable of beating up Dean, what would he do to Jake?
"You sure you don't want to stay?" Danny asks. "I don't mind waiting with you."
"We might as well go if they won't let me in there. I'll come back tomorrow. Maybe a different nurse will be working and she'll let me see him."
We leave the hospital and Eve drops me off at home. My mom is still at work. She's putting in extra hours to make up for the time she missed yesterday.
I go to the fridge and find it's empty but the freezer has a few frozen meals. I take one out and heat it up in the microwave.
As I'm eating dinner, my phone rings. It's my dad. I wonder if he knows what's going on. He doesn't talk to my mom but he talks to my sister. She knows about Dean, but I don't think she'd tell our dad. I've asked her not to tell him stuff about me. If I want him to know something, I'll tell him myself.
"Hi, Dad," I say, answering the call.
"Hi, honey. How was your day?"
"Okay." I'm not going to tell him about Dean. He wouldn't approve of me dating him, especially if he knew what's going on with Dean's dad. And he definitely wouldn't approve of me missing school and not doing my homework because of everything that's going on.
"You don't sound too excited," he says. "It's that school, isn't it? You hate it there."
"I'm getting used to it," I say, moving my fork around in my pasta.
"Well, I think I have something that WILL get you excited," he says, his voice rising like he's about to share big news.
Madison's having a baby. That's gotta be it. I knew it would happen. I just didn't think it'd be this soon. Isn't this going to ruin her plan to be an actress? Or was she just using that as an excuse to get my dad to move to LA?
"What is it?" I ask, just wanting to get this over with. I wonder if he already told my sister. If so, she should've warned me this was coming.
"I enrolled you back at your old school."
"You WHAT?" I ask, dropping my fork.
"You're going back to Haverhill. It won't be for a few more weeks. Your mother and I still need to figure out where you'll live but I've been talking to some of my real estate friends in the area and I might've found a small house to rent. If that doesn't work out, there's a condo unit available not far from the school."
I don't know what to say. When he mentioned this a few weeks ago I didn't think he was serious. Even if he was, I didn't think he'd follow through. I've learned not to believe anything he tells me. His promises mean nothing to me. So when he said he might send me back to my private school, I didn't think anything of it. I knew he wouldn't actually do it. But apparently he did. I can't believe my mom knew and didn't tell me.
"Mom knows about this?"
"Yes, we spoke about it last weekend."
Last weekend? She's gone this long without telling me? Did she not want to tell me because of everything going on with Dean? If so, that's no excuse. She should've told me.
"What day did you talk to her?"
"Sunday. I asked her not to tell you. I wanted to be the one to share the news. She didn't already tell you, did she?"
"No," I say, thinking back to last Sunday. My mom and I were fighting about Dean. She told me she didn't want me dating him, and that a girl like me should date someone like Chad. Then last night, she told me Chad called and kept insisting I call him back. Is this why? Because she knew about this plan for me to go back to my old school? Does Chad know? Is that why he wants to get back with me?
"Does anyone else know?" I ask. "Anyone at school?"
"I don't believe so. I certainly didn't tell them and I can't imagine the enrollment department telling anyone."
"Cynthia's mom might have. She works there."
"Do I know her?"
"No, but you might know Cynthia. She used to come over for pool parties. You probably don't remember her. Anyway, her mom processes the enrollment paperwork. She might've told Cynthia."
"Well, if so then I guess the news is out, but if not, feel free to tell all your friends. Maybe you and your mother can plan a little welcome back party. I could contribute some money to help pay for it."
"Dad, what's going on here? I thought Madison forbid you from spending money on me."
"I felt it was time to put my foot down. I love Madison but I'm not letting her destroy my relationship with my daughters. I put your sister through school so it's only fair I do the same for you."
"Does that include college?"
"Yes, although Madison and I are still negotiating that. She wants me to cap the spending to a certain amount, but we'll see how it goes. I'm sure you'll get a scholarship that will pay for most, if not all, of the cost. And if not, we'll work it out."
I don't trust him. College is still a year away. He could change his mind, especially if Madison starts making threats to leave him, which she's done before. I only know that because I overhead them fighting one time when they didn't know I was there.
"So what do you think?" my dad asks. "I'm not getting the reaction I was expecting. I thought you'd be thrilled."
"Um, yeah, I guess I'm just surprised. I didn't think you'd do this."
"I didn't either, at least not at first, but now that I've had some time to think, I realized my actions were motivated by a desire to please Madison rather than what was best for my family. Madison isn't happy about this but I told her once we have our own children, she'll understand."
"Is that happening? Are you guys trying to have kids?"
"Not right know, but we will eventually. And when we do, Madison will understand why I'm doing this. I want what's best for you, and Haverhill Academy is where you need to be. I looked up your current school online and I'm horrified you ended up
there. Their academic record is one of the worst in the state. And that area where you live has one of the highest crime rates in the Chicago area."
He's just finding this out now? Why didn't he look all this up before? If he had, maybe Mom and I never would've moved here. But then I wouldn't have met Dean, or Eve, or Danny—people who have become like family to me.
"It's not that bad," I tell him. "I'm getting used to the area and I actually like my new school."
"It's sweet of you to try to alleviate my guilt but there's no need to. I deserve the guilt. I never should've let you go there. I was just so caught up in my new life and moving to California and adjusting to my marriage to Madison that I lost sight of what's important. And YOU are what's important. I love you, honey, and I want you to have the best life possible."
I should be ecstatic hearing him say all that but I'm not. He said the exact same thing last year, and I believed him, only to find out later that he didn't really mean it. He used the right words but they didn't match his actions. All those months he was going through the divorce he'd tell me how much he loved me, how he'd always take care of me, how he'd always be there for me, and then he moved away, didn't call, and left my mom and me with nothing.
"Dad, can we talk later this week? I have a test tomorrow and I really need to study."
"Of course, but first, tell me how you're feeling about this. I'm not getting the excitement I thought I would from you."
"Sorry, I'm just tired. It's been a long week."
"Well, I hope this news makes it better. We'll talk soon."
"Yeah. Bye."
I set my phone down and take my dinner to the trash. I'm not hungry. I feel sick. Why is he doing this? Why now? If he was going to do this, he should've done it weeks ago, before I got attached to my new school. Before I made friends. Before I fell in love.
I'm not going back to Haverhill but I didn't want to tell him that. I wasn't ready to argue with him about it, at least not yet. I need to talk to my mom first and find out why she didn't tell me about this, and if she's seriously considering moving back. I'm guessing she wants to. It's all she knows. Her entire adult life has been spent hanging out with her rich friends at the country club, wearing designer clothes, living in a fancy house. If we moved back, she wouldn't get the clothes or the fancy house, but she'd be with her rich friends, which would make her feel a little like she's back in her old life.
