by C. S. Nelson
Kevin shook his head just as the doors closed.
Annie didn’t care what Kevin wanted; she was going to wait for him. What else did she have to do? She didn’t want to go back to basecamp without him, and with so many reminders of Anthony there. Mia and Allison had promised her that they would pack up his things while she was meeting with the president, and Annie prayed that it would be taken care of by the time she got back.
She paced back and forth across the city hall stairs for what felt like forever. Annie was sweating, even though the temperature was hovering just above freezing. She didn’t want to imagine what kind of conversation was going on in the president's office. She prayed that he wasn't going to be relocated in the same way that Commander Matthew had been, who had disappeared without a trace.
The city hall doors opened, and Kevin was pushed outside by the guards. He straightened out his jacket as he took the stairs two at a time, and walked past Annie without a word. “What happened?” Annie asked, running after him.
“Doesn’t matter,” Kevin mumbled.
Annie grabbed Kevin by his shoulder and pulled him around, locking eyes with him. He was holding in tears. “What did he do to you?” she asked.
He shrugged her hand off, swallowing the upset, and glaring at her. “If I fuck up one more time, I’m done.”
“Done?”
“They’ll probably send me where they send all the others who fail the Test.” Annie remembered the group of new recruits waiting to be given a career but were instead silently taken out of the room during goodbyes. “What do they do with them?” she asked.
Kevin sighed, turning back around and walking quickly again. “I don’t know, Annie. I don’t want to find out.”
"But it wasn't your fault!" Annie protested. "How could anyone have known that they were hiding underground?"
“It was my fault!” He stopped again. “I let Scott convince me to carry on with a mission that I knew we should have turned back on. I sent us straight into a trap. I got Anthony killed.”
Annie couldn’t think of anything to say. She knew it, the president knew it, even Kevin knew that this was his fault. They walked in silence the rest of the way home.
Chapter 10: Zed
Annie walked past the new recruits as they were eating, and sat by herself at the table across the room. She could feel their eyes on her, but she wasn’t concerned. Everyone knew how badly Anthony’s death was affecting her. None of the new recruits had even attempted a conversation with her in days. She was fine with it. She wanted to eat alone in peace.
She felt a massive slap on her back. “Hey newbie,” Mitch said, squeezing in next to her. It had been nearly two weeks since Anthony had shot him, and he was back to his annoying shitty self, just with a sore arm. He was getting antsy waiting around for a mission when he could go kick some sucker ass. “How are you doing today?”
He was joined by Scott, and two other male rangers who appeared to be twins and Annie had respectfully given the nicknames Thing One and Thing Two, as they were both lanky with gangly teeth and long hair, and only spoke up when directly spoken to. “There’s seven other tables in here, Mitch. Do you have to sit right next to me?” She asked without looking up from her stew. She wasn't in the mood for the insults and crude jokes that spilled out of Mitch like word vomit.
“You’ve been quiet, Annie,” Scott said, smiling. “We just wanted to make sure that you’re okay.”
Annie believed that Scott had the best of intentions, but not so much for Mitch and the twins. She was trying hard not to blame Scott for what had went wrong on the mission that had killed Anthony. It hadn't been up to him to make the final call; that responsibility fell on Kevin. “I’m fine,” she said, taking a small bite of her overdone meat. “I’d just…like to be alone if that’s okay.”
“No one is left alone here,” Mitch said, this time with seriousness in his voice. “Even when you feel alone, we stick together. It's the only way any of us survive."
Somehow the person that she disliked the most since she arrived here had made her feel a little better. She nodded thankfully at him, but it didn’t mean she was any more interested in talking than she had been before. “What are your plans for tomorrow, Annie?” Scott asked, with a mouthful of stew.
It was their next monthly day off. Summer Henderson would stand up in front of everyone and say her little speech. “Only fifteen more months until this is all over.” As if anyone had forgotten how much time they had left on Earth. People would cheer for her even though she was undeserving. She would act shocked, as if she had never expected the applause, and then wave to the crowd as though she were some sort of savior, just like she practiced in the mirror at home. Then Dustan would come and find her and tell her how fantastic breeding was and how excited he was for Annie to meet the next girl he was going to impregnate. She would leave with a pit in her stomach and realize how much she dreaded the next day that she would see him, just as she was feeling now.
“I don’t know, see my friends,” she mumbled with her mouth full. What friends? She had spent the last couple of years in school with Anthony and Dustan. She had lost one to his career, and the other to the suckers.
“After the big meeting, all of the veteran rangers were going to play soccer out back. You’re welcome to join us if you’d like,” Scott said.
One of the twins jabbed him in the side. “She isn’t a vet,” he hissed.
Scott ignored Thing One. “Thank you,” Annie said. She wasn’t going to go. Not only did she not want to socialize, but the veteran rangers also didn’t want her there. She quickly scraped the last of her food into her mouth and stood up.
“You’re welcome to sit with us, still,” Scott said. “None of us bite. Except Mitch, but he's fine as long as he has food in front of him.” They all laughed.
Annie paused, then swung her feet out from the bench and walked away.
◆◆◆
Annie dreaded seeing Dustan as she stepped towards the town center. It had been a month; he was likely on to the next girl. But there was no one else she wanted to see more. He was the only memory she had left from her life before the rangers. He was every good memory that she had. But now, when she looked at him, she couldn’t see any of that without being reminded of who he was now. A breeder. Annie slowly shuffled with the rest of the rangers towards the celebration.
The town center was starting to fill up. Annie could see Summer in the distance, up on her podium, preparing to present her speech in her brand new dress and fall coat that were completely spotless. Annie looked down at her own coat, a hand-me-down from however many rangers before her that had died. One of the sleeves had been stitched back together after having been ripped off at one point. Her face felt hot with anger, thinking about Summer Henderson, but she brushed it off. Summer wasn’t going to ruin her day.
“Annie!” She felt a big bear hug from behind her. She was spun around to see Dustan, and just like that, her old emotions came flooding back.
“Hello,” she mumbled. He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her tight. Annie couldn’t hug him back. She hadn’t wanted to see him.
“I’ve missed you so much, Annie,” he whispered into her hair, giving her a gentle kiss on the top of her head.
Her heart fluttered against her better judgment. “I missed you too.”
“I’m in between partners right now. I can spend the entire day with you, if you’ll let me.” He smiled at her. Annie didn’t smile back. “I heard that you got invited to the monthly meeting.”
She shrugged. “I don’t know why, I was pretty rude to the president.”
“He likes you, he thinks you’re feisty." He laughed, but Annie didn’t buy it. "We all know he's a fan of the feisty girls, with all the time he spends with Summer Henderson."
Annie wasn't in the mood for laughing and joking with him. "Anthony is dead.”
Dustan’s mouth dropped. “Oh…” He looked surprised. He hadn’t been there for the past weeks. H
e hadn’t seen them begging the president to relocate him. He hadn’t seen the way Anthony clammed up every time he sensed any sort of danger. Dustan didn’t know anything about her life anymore. “Well, what happened? Was it an alien?”
“We got ambushed. No one saw it happen, but we realized he had been killed before we came back.”
“Aww shit, I’m sorry. That really sucks.”
Annie found herself staring at Dustan’s face for a long moment. Almost all of her memories from school were with Dustan and Anthony. They had all been inseparable. Annie realized now, with Dustan giving her no more emotionally than a hint of sympathy for the death of their best friend, that the time in her life that he was supposed to be a part of was over. Annie didn’t know this man anymore. “Yeah, it really does suck, doesn’t it, Dustan?” she sneered. “I think I’m done.”
“Done with what?” Dustan asked.
“Us. You, me. It’s over.” But she didn’t feel sadness. Only anger.
Dustan rolled his eyes. “How many times are you going to pull this one when we see each other? I’m getting pretty sick of it.”
“So am I,” Annie retorted. “Which is exactly why I’m saying ‘it’s over’.”
“You are so dramatic.”
“The world is ending, Dustan,” she said. “Ending. People around us are dying. Not that you would notice, because all you care about now is who you get to breed with and how freshly pressed your suit is.” He was wearing a white shirt. Pure white. Annie didn’t even own anything that wasn’t covered in dirt. “So you live your vacation lifestyle, and I’ll continue risking mine every day to make sure you feel safe in your air-conditioned home.”
“Annie, I didn’t choose to be a breeder.” There was panic in his voice. He could sense that this time she really meant it.
“No, you did something worse. You embraced it.” She began to cry. “It was eighteen months, Dustan. We only had to get through eighteen months until we would be safe. Did you really have to change everything about yourself in just two?” He reached out to try to hug her, but Annie pushed away. “I thought that being a ranger was a death sentence, but at least I know I am the same Annie that I was eight weeks ago. I mourn the loss of my Dustan every day.”
A girl came up behind Dustan and hugged him. It was a different girl from last time. But it didn’t hurt Annie as much as she was expecting it to. “Aren’t you going to introduce me?” the girl sang, ignoring the tension in the air. To top it all off, Dustan had lied to her about his partner.
Dustan cleared his throat. “Annie, this is…”
Annie raised her hand. “I really don’t care,” Annie said, turning on her heel. But she was stopped by a painful grab at her wrist. She tried to pull her arm away, but Dustan wouldn’t release her. “Let me go,” she ordered.
“Annie, come on.” His partner didn't look pleased that he was trying to prevent her from leaving.
“Let me go!” she screamed. People around them were beginning to turn and stare.
“Oh hey, Annie!” a voice she didn’t recognize called from behind her.
She turned and looked behind her, with Dustan still hanging onto her wrist and his partner still standing there with a scowl on her face. It was a boy, with bright grey eyes and wild brown hair curled around his ears and cheeks. He was tall, but still had baby fat on his face. Annie had never seen him before in her life. “Um, hi,” she responded. Could he not see that it was a bad time to catch up?
“Last week was fun, wasn’t it?” he asked, smiling cheekily.
Annie understood what the boy was doing. A complete stranger was trying to save her from her clingy ex-boyfriend. “Yeah, it was…great,” she replied.
“I was hoping I’d see you here, thinking maybe we could spend the day together.”
Dustan’s grip on her wrist loosened, and she pulled away. “That would be amazing,” she said.
Dustan pushed past her and held out his hand aggressively. “Hey, man, I’m Dustan.”
The boy took it and gave it a firm shake. “Zed.”
Dustan snorted. “What kind of name is Zed?”
“Family name, I guess.” Everyone laughed awkwardly at Zed’s attempt at a joke. No one had been born into a family in generations. It was all up to the breeders now. Names were randomly assigned to babies from a list that was drawn up by the previous leaders. They must have really been scraping the bottom of the barrel with a name like Zed.
“I’m Monica, by the way.” Dustan’s partner awkwardly waved. No one acknowledged her.
“So you want to spend the day with my girlfriend?” Dustan crossed his arms.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I was under the impression she was your ex-girlfriend.” Zed gave a sly smile to Dustan.
“That is correct. Ex-girlfriend,” Annie reiterated.
Dustan pressed his lips firmly together, staring between the two of them. “I’m just confused as to why I’ve never seen you before. Shield’s a small place. Why have we never met?”
Zed shrugged his shoulders, stuffing his hands in his worn pockets. “I don’t know what to tell you. Annie and I work together. I’ve been around. I recognize you, for sure. And Monica…” He gave Dustan's partner a little wink. “Who could forget that pretty face?”
Monica covered her mouth with her hand and giggled, which made Annie want to throw up. That girl didn’t need any more self-confidence. “This guy?” Dustan looked disappointed in her. “Annie, are you serious?”
“The heart wants what the heart wants.” She was beginning to take great pleasure in the façade. “It shouldn’t matter. You have…what was your name again?”
“Monica.” She glared at Annie.
“Monica,” Annie repeated, beaming from ear to ear. “You have Monica.” She held out her hand, and Zed took it, entwining his fingers in hers. Annie waved goodbye to a baffled Dustan and walked away from the crowd with a stranger.
◆◆◆
“Thank you for that,” Annie said, as soon as Dustan was out of sight. She dropped his hand and wiped the sweat off onto her jacket.
“That was just as, if not more, entertaining for me than it was for you.” The boy smiled at her.
“I’m actually going to go back to basecamp now.” The high of messing with Dustan had quickly worn off. She felt void of energy again. She just wanted to go home and sleep. “But thank you, again. Without you I never would have gotten away from him.”
“Well do you mind if I come with you, I’d love to get a tour of basecamp?”
Annie eyed him. “Shouldn’t you be enjoying the party?” What kind of person would want to spend their day off going through basecamp, quite possibly the most depressing place in the entire Shield?
“I just want to make sure you’re okay. The situation looked pretty rough before I stepped in.”
Annie shrugged. “Break ups happen.”
“Yeah, I know. But they’re never fun. If it makes you feel any better he seems like a total prick.”
Annie looked at Zed, and he was grinning. She smirked. “I already knew that. Seriously, I’m fine, go back to the celebration.”
“Nah.” Zed was still walking after her. “I don’t like any of my friends anyway.”
“Too bad you weren’t assigned to the rangers. Guaranteed all your friends will be dead within the month.”
“I’m actually in my last year of school now. I’m hoping for ranger.” Annie gave him a strange look. “I wanna show those soul drinkers whose boss.” He gave the air in front of him a couple of punches.
“Soul suckers?” Annie laughed. Zed was full of strange jokes. Was he deliberately sounding stupid?
“Oh…is that what you call them?”
“That’s what everyone in the Shield calls them.”
“Meh, tomayto, tomawto.”
“Is there a reason you’re following me?” Annie asked.
“No, not at all. I can leave if you want.”
Annie was ready to tell him to leave, but she stopped her
self. She didn’t want to be alone for the first time since Anthony died. “No, you can stay,” she mumbled.
“Sweet, I want to see the base camp.” He hopped along next to Annie excitedly, and she tried to hold in her inquisitive gaze. She had never seen anyone this full of life in the Shield. Day to day seemed to be grey; there was so little happiness, so little to look forward to. All that was keeping them going was hope that the ship would arrive to save them all. Then there was this boy, who was so bright and happy it was as though he never wanted to leave.
“You’re strange,” Annie said.
Zed laughed. “Why’s that?”
Annie shrugged. “Why are you so happy?” she asked. She supposed that she had been happy in school too. Before she knew her career, before her best friend had died, before Dustan had changed. Everything was so simple back then.
“I’m alive, aren’t I?” he asked.
Annie smiled. “It’s just that I’ve never heard anyone speak the way you do.”
They arrived at basecamp, and Annie pulled the door open for Zed so he could see their sleeping quarters. He grinned, running in and belly flopping onto the first bed he saw. “It’s just like the school beds in here,” he said, turning on his back and staring at the bunk above his.
“Only shittier,” Annie agreed, sitting next to him.
“Which is yours?” he asked.
Annie pointed across the room to her bunk. “Who sleeps under you?”
She swallowed hard. “No one right now.” That may have been the worst part for her. She would wake up in the mornings and, still half asleep, lean over her bunk to talk to Anthony. Then Annie would blink hard a couple of times as the reality settled in that the bed was made and Anthony wasn’t there.
“I’ll fill that spot. Do you think they’d notice?”
She laughed, lying down next to Zed. Usually she felt awkward and uncomfortable around strangers. But she felt at ease with him. “Would the commander notice if a random face suddenly appeared? I doubt it, with all of the people that come and go in this place.”
