“Just do your best.” Scott wished he knew what the fight was about. “And you know I’m here for you, for whatever.”
Brandon nodded. He waited until he was alone again. Then he flipped through Mackenzie’s pictures. She was always smiling. Well, unless she was cumming. He had taken a few while she was in the middle of an orgasm. So hot. His dick stirred. Sex would never be the same for him again. She gave him something no one else in the world ever could.
The text app announced another message. He had eight unread ones already. His thumb hovered over the icon. Then he put the phone down. He couldn’t read them. Not yet. He yearned to hear her voice, but he couldn’t check his voicemail either. Her saying no again would kill him. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and rolled out of his bunk.
Scott stood outside the bus, debating on going back in and forcing Brandon to face facts. Ignoring the problem did not make it go away. He could feel how badly Brandon was hurt. More than anything, he wanted to help him. There was no way Mackenzie hurt him on purpose. He pulled out his phone and brought up her number. Programming it into his contacts was one of the best things he had done that day. He hit the phone symbol next to her name.
Mackenzie didn’t recognize the number calling her. “Hello?”
“Hey, it’s Scott,” he said.
She smiled and looked up at the ladies’ room mirror. “Hi.” Her bottom lip trembled. “What’s up?” She barely kept her voice steady. If he was calling, it wasn’t good news.
“He’s miserable without you,” Scott blurted out. “What happened?”
She bit her lip, the night flashing before her eyes. “Nothing.” If Brandon had not told him, she didn’t feel it was her place to tell him.
“That’s what Brandon said.” Scott thought they were acting like teenagers. “You guys need to talk this out.” He listened for a few seconds. “Are you crying?” He felt like a dick. “I’m sorry. I just wanna fix this. What’d he do, cheat on you or something?” He couldn’t think of anything else that would break them apart.
She sniffled. “I have to get back to work.”
Scott groaned when she hung up. “Damn it. Now what?” He was out of ideas. “Maybe a few drinks’ll loosen his tongue.” He headed back to the arena.
Brandon got ready for the show mechanically. He showered, dressed, fixed his hair and outlined his eyes. Staring in the mirror at his stage persona, he saw a phony. Without Mackenzie, he would have to be that guy all the time. Brandon Knight, lead guitarist. No longer Brandon, boyfriend and lover.
When she left him, she took his heart and soul with her. He would play that night but only out of commitment. After the tour ended, he would most likely quit. What’s the point anymore?
The walk to the arena and navigating the backstage area did nothing to change his mood. Several girls called his name as he walked. He glanced at them, but they weren’t his Kenzie. It hit him that he would never feel her again. Would never kiss her or make love to her again. He would only have fans and random women like before. Before he fell for her.
“Hey, man.” Chico pounded Brandon on the back, once inside their dressing room. “Glad you crawled outta that bunk.” He was worried as well but had no idea how to get Brandon to talk.
Brandon nodded at him and made a beeline for the makeshift bar. He grabbed a beer and guzzled half of it before taking a breath. The room was noisy. Music, people talking, girls fawning all over the band and some of the crew. He finished his brew and snatched another one. By the fourth, he started to relax.
“Hi.”
He turned to a young woman who had to be under 20. “Hi.”
She gave him a huge grin. “I’m Stacy. You look lonely, Brandon.”
Internally groaning, he looked over her head. Scott was busy with Austin and pair of chicks. He couldn’t save him. “I’m not really in a good mood.”
“I can change that.” She ran a hand over his leather-encased arm. “When I’m done, I’m sure you’ll be happy.”
He polished off the beer in his hand and grabbed yet another. “I doubt it.”
“Will you let me try?” Her eyes pleading.
Brandon shrugged. “Whatever.” He walked to the far corner and opened the door. “This works.” He didn’t want anyone to know what he was about to let the girl do. He led her into the bathroom and shut the door behind them. After leaning on the vanity, he grabbed a flavored condom from the bowl near the sink. “On your knees.”
Just as he tore open the packet, she put a hand over his. “I’m allergic to latex. I’m clean. I swear. And I’m on the pill.”
“Forget it.” He tossed the condom out. “I always play it safe.”
She tugged his arm as he opened the door. “I won’t give you anything. Please just let me suck you off.”
“You’re all the same.” He left the room shaking his head. “There goes that idea.” Kenzie or no Kenzie, he wouldn’t play games with STDs or pregnancy.
He stalked back to the bar and got himself a shot of vodka. After downing several, he was starting to feel much better. He scanned the room again and was happy to see Scott walking towards him.
“You look happier.” Scott cocked an eyebrow. “Called her?”
Brandon let out a long exhale, memories returning. “No. Booze does the body good.” He was almost drunk at that point.
“No more for you.” Scott looked at Mike who was serving drinks. Then he slashed his hand across his throat, telling him to cut Brandon off. They didn’t need him falling into the crowd or anything that night. “Let’s go sit and talk to some people.”
Their set was not as good as usual. Brandon was a bit off at times. He couldn’t get his mind off that night. When they played “Thoughts of You,” he got choked up. By the time the concert was over, he felt like he was going to explode. He rushed to the bus, needing to be alone.
Sitting on the couch in the front lounge, he went through his text messages, all from Mackenzie. She apologized and begged him to talk to her. But not one, “Yes, I’ll marry you.” That’s what he wanted. He didn’t want what they had. He wanted more.
“Brandon?”
He jumped at the voice. Then he looked up to see Jesse. “Hey.”
“I know I’m not your best friend or nothing.” Jesse looked down, unsure how to word it. “But, it’s bothering me how different you been since Tampa. I know something happened, and I know you don’t wanna talk about it. Mackenzie wouldn’t tell me what it was either.” He paused. “Whatever it is, it’s affecting everybody. Even Jake’s worried about you.”
Brandon got to his feet. “I’m fine.” He needed to forget Mackenzie somehow. “Where’s the party at?”
Jesse grinned. “Some actor’s house. I don’t even know who. Wanna ride with us?”
“Sure.” Brandon mindlessly followed him.
Sometime later, they walked into a huge mansion. Brandon could barely remember the trip. Booze was free, so he ordered two shots of vodka. Once those were gone, he finished off two more. The buzz was numbing the ache within. He walked around, greeting people and smiling. After a while, he sat on the sofa and stared at nothing.
“You gotta do something,” Austin said as he and Scott stood nearby. “He’s falling apart.”
Scott gritted his teeth for a few seconds. “I’ve been trying. Neither one of them will tell me what happened.” He sighed as he watched his friend slump down a bit more. “Maybe I need to go to Florida and drag her ass back here. Then we can make them talk.”
“That could work.” Austin hoped it didn’t come to that.
A sexy blonde in a short, tight minidress sat next to Brandon. “Penny for your thoughts.”
Brandon turned, giving her a once over before replying, “You don’t wanna know what’s in my head.” He watched her legs part slightly. “Uh, you need something?”
“No, silly.” She slapped his thigh. “You look lonely. Rock stars shouldn’t be lonely.” She took his hand in hers. “We should go somewhere and ge
t the party started.”
He shook his head. “I don’t know.”
Her other hand moved up his thigh to his crotch. “Will this entice you?” She rubbed his cock through his jeans until it began to swell. “Seems you like it.”
How could I not? He closed his eyes as she rubbed harder. His entire body was reacting to the stimulation. Feeling good would be so much better than heartache. “Let’s go.”
She held his hand and walked through the house, taking him to the second floor. He followed her into a bedroom that was unoccupied and sat on the bed. As soon as the door closed, she dropped to her knees and unfastened his belt and pants.
“Wait.” He stopped her from pulling his half-hard dick out. “I don’t have a condom.”
Grinning, she winked. “I do.” She opened her purse and pulled out a box of three condoms. “Got prepared on the way over here.”
He was relieved the box was sealed, but took it from her anyway. After inspecting every inch for punctures or other deformities, he handed it back. “OK, then. That’s settled.” He waited as she freed his cock and jerked it a few times to get it harder.
“Mmm, nice.” She licked her lips as she rolled the condom in place. “Above average is always a plus in my book.”
He lifted his hips and pushed his pants to his ankles. “Then show your appreciation.” He sighed when she sucked a few inches into her mouth. “Yeah.” He pushed her head down, so she would take more. “Just like that.”
His body shuddered. It felt like forever since someone touched him. When she suddenly cupped his balls in her hand, he stiffened. Then he relaxed and tried to just go with it. As she drew back, then moved her mouth down again, his emotions started to well up again.
“Stop. I can’t.”
She shook her head and slid her mouth all the way down to the base.
“Oh, fuck.” Brandon was caving in again. She sucked harder and he moaned. Then his brain turned on again. “No. Really. Stop. It’s not right.” He knew he was using the girl, although she was willing. She kept sucking anyway. He pushed her head, but she fought him. Then he gently kicked her off him. “Seriously. Stop.”
She wasn’t about to let the opportunity to fuck the lead guitarist of Wicked End go. Not many could say they had. When he stood to pick his pants up, she ran at him and shoved him onto the bed.
Shocked, Brandon didn’t realize what happened at first. The room spun, partly from falling, partly from all the alcohol in his system. Then he felt a pussy engulfing his cock. He looked down his body and his mouth dropped. The blonde was riding his dick. For a few seconds, he watched. Then he saw Mackenzie in her place. That hurt. He couldn’t handle that.
He tugged her down and rolled them over. Then he quickly pulled out and flipped her onto her stomach. Kneeling between her legs, he shouted, “Get on your hands and knees.” She instantly complied. “That’s a girl.” He grabbed a hip and shoved his cock back into her. “My way or no way.”
Scott walked upstairs. He had seen Brandon and some hot young thing heading that way. With Brandon drinking so much, he hoped he didn’t pass out and get robbed. There were too many rooms up there. He had to decide where to start looking.
“God, Kenzie.” Brandon moaned as he ground into the girl’s ass. “Love this pussy, Kenzie.” It didn’t feel like her, but he wanted it to.
“I’m not Kenzie, I’m...”
Brandon cut her off with, “Don’t care. Shut up.” He could see Mackenzie still, but from behind, he always felt different. Dominant. In control. “Don’t talk. Just take it.” He rammed into her hard, eyes closed. The harsh rhythm was starting to make him forget. He pumped faster. “I’m gonna cum. I’m gonna cum.” He didn’t care if she came, was just glad he found release.
His pocket vibrated against his calf. He looked down at his pants as he withdrew. Then he got to his feet and found his phone. Another message from Mackenzie.
Please forgive me. I’m lost without you. No one makes me feel like you do. I love you.
Guilt consumed him. “What the fuck’d I do?” He looked at the girl adjusting her dress. It was like déjà vu. “Thoughts of You” played through is mind. His chest constricted and suddenly he couldn’t catch his breath. “You gotta leave. You gotta leave now.”
Scott opened the door and froze, seeing the filled condom still on Brandon’s dick. “You fucked her?”
Brandon closed his eyes. His entire body shook. His mind raced. He didn’t know what to do next.
When the girl was gone, Scott asked, “What happened? You couldn’t even hold out for a few days? That’s not like you.”
“She said no.” Brandon pulled his lips in, trying to rein in his emotions. “She said no, man.”
“To what?” Scott didn’t understand.
“I asked her to marry me, and she said no.” Brandon pulled up his pants, then stared at the condom he still wore.
“And you deal with it by fucking the first bitch you can? That’s not you. What the hell, man?”
“I don’t know. I was annoyed, and she wanted me to fuck her, so I just did. I didn’t even want her. I wanted to forget.”
Scott shook his head, trying to wrap his head around the situation. “Wow, now you sound like Jake.” He started pacing, thinking hard. “Is this technically cheating? Are you broken up?”
“I don’t know. Scott, I can’t lose her.” Then Brandon realized he was partly undressed. “Let me lose this thing.” He went to the attached bathroom and tossed the condom. “What’s wrong with me?” he asked his reflection. Suddenly his stomach lurched.
Scott heard him hurling. “You OK?” No answer. He opened the door slightly. “You gotta tell her.” He sighed. “And stop drinking till you puke every night.”
After Brandon had cleaned himself up, he sat on the bed again. “What do I say to her?”
“Tell her you love her and want to be with her.” Scott thought that was obvious.
Brandon stared at the floor. “But I wanna marry her.”
“Tell her that, but let her explain why she said no.” Scott stood in front of Brandon and put his hands on his shoulders. “Then you need to be patient. She loves you. One day she’ll be open to marriage. Just maybe not today.” Without another word, he left the room.
Brandon stared at his phone. He was close to rock bottom. If he didn’t pull it together, he knew drugs were next. He promised Mackenzie he would never sink that low. No matter how hard things got on the road, he never turned to hard drugs to cope. However, he couldn’t imagine going through life alone straight any longer. After taking a deep breath, he called her.
“Uh, hel-lo?” Mackenzie’s hands were shaking something awful. She was terrified of him telling her to stay away forever. No reply confused her. Maybe he butt-dialed me? “Brandon? Are you there?”
He sighed, just as scared. “Yeah. Uh…” He was at a loss for words.
“I’m sorry, baby,” she gushed. “It was stupid. I didn’t mean to hurt you like that. I’m so sorry.” She waited, but nothing again. “Brandon? Can we talk about this?”
He lay back on the bed, his head spinning and mind racing. “How you been?” He knew it was stupid to ask. What he needed to say wouldn’t come out though.
“Well, upset, I guess.” She sat on the couch and closed her eyes. He was all she thought of. Even sex and food were only afterthoughts. “I—I should’ve talked to you instead of running away.”
He had to start somewhere, but couldn’t think straight. A confession was what he came up with. “I got drunk and fucked some girl.” He put a hand over his eyes, annoyed he had just blurted that out.
She wasn’t sure what to say to that. It wasn’t typical for him brag about conquests. “Did you use a condom?” She was hurt that he turned to other women so fast.
“Yes.” He could hear the tremor in her voice. Guilt washed over him. It was one of the worst things he could have admitted to, yet she was pretending to be fine with it.
She swallowed hard. �
�Then what’s the problem?”
“I did it because I was hurting, not horny.” He sniffled, his emotions boiling over. “Kenzie, I love you. How could you say no?” He punched the bed, the pain hitting him full force again.
She took in a shaky breath. He was hurt even more than she thought. “You know why.”
“But things changed.” He knew they had.
“I can’t.” She couldn’t hold back anymore. A sob escaped. “I’m sorry, Brandon. I’m not ready.”
He heard her crying. “I was hoping…” He gritted his teeth, willing his voice to stay steady. “I want you to be mine, forever.”
“I—I am,” she stammered. “A-al-ways.” She buried her hands in her face and started bawling.
Brandon sat up quickly and regretted it. “Shit.” He grabbed his spinning head. “So fucking stupid.” He smacked his phone into his forehead. Then he put it back to his ear. “Kenzie… Kenzie… Tink… can you hear me?”
Struggling to calm down, Mackenzie’s hands balled into fists. Her phone lay in her lap. She could hear Brandon shouting. Knowing she had to get some type of closure, she lifted the phone again.
“Do you hate me?” she hesitantly asked.
He groaned. “No. No, Kenzie. I thought…” He closed his eyes again. “I thought I lost you.” He paused. “Did I?”
“No.” She shook her head, wishing he were there. “I love you—but I’m not ready for marriage. It’s too much for me.”
His entire body relaxed, the pain finally alleviated. “I love you too.” He took a deep breath. “Do you think we can get through this?”
“If you don’t ask again.” She took a few breaths, finally reining in her tears.
“I won’t… for now.” He would have to know she was open to it next time.
She guessed that had to be good enough. “OK.”
“Guess no make-up sex, though.” He laughed. Then he rolled his eyes, expecting her to balk at that after what he admitted doing.
Sinful Needs (Wicked End Book 2) Page 26
