by Monica Rossi
“Hey,” she said, closing the door gently behind her.
“Did you stay at the clubhouse last night?” Sidney asked, it was one thing to screw up and sleep with Red when she hadn’t known, but it was another to stay the whole damn night after she’d found out.
“No, I called a cab and stayed at that shitty motel again. I didn’t think you’d want me here.”
Sidney nodded, that had been a good call on Jessica’s part. One of the few.
“Sidney, I swear I didn’t know. I know you don’t believe me but I’ve changed. I would never have slept with him if I’d known anything at all was going on between you two.”
Sidney toyed with the salt shaker, not really wanting to look at her sister, “In all honesty we’d already broken up. I just hadn’t accepted it yet.”
“Oh thank God. That guy is an asshole.”
“Red?” Sidney knew he’d been a jerk to her lately, but in general he was normally a pretty nice guy, “What’d he do? I mean besides sleep with my sister, because he gets a full boatload of asshole points for that.”
Jessica shrugged, “We had, er, words after you guys left and he tried to intimidate me, stood up and tried to walk at me like he was all macho and shit. Man, I hate guys like that.”
“Red?”
“Yes, Red. He never acted that way with you?”
“Never. Up until we broke up he was always kind and generous with me, protective.”
“Fuck if I know, he was a dick last night.” Jessica threw her bag in a chair and took a seat across from Sidney, “Maybe I just don’t bring out those kinds of feelings in guys.”
Sidney made a noncommittal sound and sipped her coffee. She wouldn’t say what she was thinking, that it was hard to feel protective over someone who was nothing more than a one night stand.
“So what happened, did he actually get physical with you?” Sidney couldn’t imagine Red actually hitting a woman, but then she wouldn’t have imagined him being so cold to her either.
“Oh hell no, that’s one thing I’m not putting up with. I stopped that shit before it could even get started.”
Sidney’s brows drew together. There was no way one hundred pound Jessica could have stopped someone as large as Red who wanted to get violent and walked away unscathed, and that’s not even taking into consideration the fact that as a shifter he seemed to be a good bit stronger than regular guys.
“How,” she asked.
“Weeeell, that’s whole different story, and one I needed to tell you anyway,” Jessica acted like she’d rather be anywhere than in the kitchen with Sidney.
“Ok, I’m listening.”
Jessica took a deep breath, “You sure you want to get into it this morning. Not to be rude or anything but you look like the shitty end of a dog on a bad day.”
Sidney’s eyes narrowed, “You don’t look like Miss America either. Just tell me.”
“Ok, but this is going to sound crazy, just sayin’. And I want you to listen to the whole thing before you freak out on me, okay?”
Sidney rolled her eyes and waved her hand, dismissing the warning, Jessica had no idea the amount of crazy she could actually consume without freaking out. One could say she’d built up a tolerance.
“So, about a year ago, around the time you were going through all that shit with David, I was at a club with a bunch of other girls right? And so I’d had a few shots and a few mixed drinks and I was feeling pretty good, and this guy came up to us, and he was hot as hell and he had some Molly and we were all like fuck yeah we’d do some. I’m dancing and shit was fucking wonderful, lights were bouncing the fuck out and everything was just pulsing with the rhythm of the music. I’m trippin’ balls and feeling great.
“So this other guy comes up and he’s like, ‘Do you want to go to the VIP room?’ and I’m like, ‘Fuck yeah I want to go to the VIP room’ and I just go with him. I didn’t think to take a friend because, remember, I’m trippin balls. So we get up there and this room is fantastic and I just want to lie on the leather couch and watch the walls move.
“So I’m lying there, and the guy starts rubbing me and at first I’m into it, because my skin feels like… like,” she searched the air for an apt metaphor, “like the surface of water, one touch and everything ripples across my whole body. But then he starts getting rough, grabbing my arms hard, pushing me around, and stuff like that.
“I told him to stop, I didn’t like it like that. And he pushes my face up against the wall and tells me to shut up, he said I knew what I was coming up there for and that I couldn’t back out. I was so over this dude at that moment. So I pushed back and I turned around and I smacked his chest a couple of times trying to get him to back the fuck off, and I told him not to touch me.
“I think he might have liked that because he smiled at me and then punched me in the stomach. Then he pulled me up by my fucking hair and threw me onto the couch. Then he lays his rapey ass on top of me, pushing my face into the couch and putting his hand up my skirt. He then rips my panties off.
“And if you’ve never had your panties ripped off, let me tell you, it is not pleasant. That shit in the movies is fake as hell because it hurt. I had red marks for days.
“Anyway, so I’m lying there, eating fucking leather, and I’m scared shitless. I don’t even know what to do. I try to get up but the dude is too heavy and strong and he’s pushing me down. I felt like I was about to hyperventilate.
“Then my vision blurs and I see this white light, and I think, this is it, I’m dying. This asshole has suffocated me in the fucking couch cushions while he’s raping my ass. And I get mad about it, because I had shit to do, ya know? I might not have gone to school like you or had the perfect life set up ahead of me but there were still things I wanted to do in life. And here this jerk was killing me and taking that away from me. And I’m thinking I’m dying and I’m getting angrier and angrier about it, just fucking raging inside.
“So this white light gets bigger and bigger and bigger, it seems like the angrier I get, the bigger it gets, and then it explodes, and I’m back in the room. I can see again and I don’t feel Raper McRaperson on my back anymore. I start getting up, it takes me a minute because I feel like everything, all my bones, all my energy, all my muscles have been sucked right out of my body. But I finally get up and look around, and Sidney, fuck me, but this dude is dead.
“Like seriously dead. Blood pouring out of his ears, nose, eyes, and mouth, just dead. And I panicked. Because, dead dude, right? And so I get the fuck out of there with the quickness. I didn’t even check to make sure I got all of my stuff. I left my panties that he’d ripped off of me and god only knows what else in that room. Spit on the couch, fingerprints on everything, there were probably traces of me in every square inch. And I’ve seen CSI, I know the cops are to come asking me questions and I haven’t got any answers for them. I haven’t got any answers for myself, I seriously don’t know what happened to that dude. One minute he’s pushing my face into a couch and the next minute the bitch is just dead.”
Sidney just stared at her. She’d been afraid she was going to have to explain about being a witch to an unbelieving and mocking Jessica, and here was Jessica explaining things to her. She didn’t know what to say, which was fine, because Jessica didn’t seem inclined to let her speak anyway.
“So I’m freaking out. Seriously. I’m paranoid that the cops are going to show up at the door at any minute and then Mom and Dad are going to freak out and it’s going to be all over the news how,” Jessica lowered her voice and used her best news anchor expression, “’Daughter of prominent local family arrested under suspension of murder,’ and the shit I’d have to take from Mom over being in jail and how Dad would bitch about the money it took to get me out on bail and… shit. I was just having a really bad time. I didn’t eat, I didn’t go out with my friends or even talk to them, I didn’t even come out of my room. So, of course, Mom comes in all bitchy concern and tells me she’s made an appointment for me with my
therapist. You remember the one they made me go to after they’d found out I was having sex when I was fourteen? Yeah, that same woman. I liked her, she actually did help me out, just talking about things back then, so I thought why not. I needed someone to talk to and I was tired of staying in bed all day anyway.
“So I went, and I told her everything, expecting her to tell me I’d had some kind of selective memory black out where I’d forgotten everything that had happened as a coping mechanism. I really believed that the guy had raped me and I’d lost my mind for a minute and somehow beat him until his internal organs liquefied and seeped out of his ears. I know it wasn’t rational, I’m tiny and he was big, but I kept telling myself that people did crazy things when their fight or flight mechanism kicked in, like that mom who picked up the SUV when her kid was trapped under it.”
“I think that was just an urban legend,” Sidney said.
“Whatever, the point is, I spent the whole time thinking that I’d gone ballistic and done some crazy shit.
“So my therapist, Bailey is her name, Karen Bailey, she says, ‘I’ve been waiting for something like this to happen.’ And I’m like, ‘Bitch, what are you talking about, you knew I was a psycho killer and you didn’t tell me.’ But here’s the thing, she’s a witch. Now don’t start rolling your eyes and shit, she said she was a witch and I was too and that she’d gotten the job as my therapist for the sole purpose of watching me to see if my powers ever manifested. There was a lot of cursing and screaming on my part, because who comes in and says, ‘Oh you’re a witch’ and expects you to take that shit well? “
Sidney’s mind went to Fran, but she didn’t say anything.
“ So anyway, I’ll spare you the whole drama that went on. Let’s just say I took some convincing. Karen took me to her, uh, I guess it’s a coven, to tell me about what was going on and I’ll admit, there was some freaking out on my part, but I got the whole story from them. So anyway, long story short, come to find out we’re witches, we’re adopted, and our powers were disabled so that we could pass for human with our normal family. But the spell that disabled us seems to be running out of… juju I guess, because our powers are returning to us.”
Jessica sat there looking at Sidney as if she expected her head to explode. She sighed and got up to refill her coffee cup.
“Well aren’t you going to say anything? Tell me I’m crazy, ask me to do some parlor tricks, talk to me about how I’m irrational and everything has a logical answer?”
Sidney plopped back down in the chair still stirring sugar into her coffee.
“Nope,” Sidney said, her voice leaking the sound of weariness that was seeping out from her bones. She took a sip of her coffee, realizing she didn’t actually want it any more. “I knew we were witches and I was dreading having to tell you and have you tell me I’d lost my mind. I didn’t know we were adopted though, or why I was blocked, so there’s that.”
“How did you know? Did you accidentally kill someone too?”
Sidney thought back to the ground littered with corpses of men in suits, and shook her head. No matter how much she’d wished it was, her actions had not been an accident.
Demon didn’t want to look at Three Rivers any more. He didn’t want to see the familiar faces, or the businesses he’d been going to for years, he didn’t want to see the old abandoned buildings, a left over from the tobacco boom, that gave the town that air of comfortable quiet dereliction that so much of the South had. He’d been here too long. It was messing with his mind.
Around every corner there was a memory ready to sneak up on him and assault his sense of home. Every person who greeted him with a smile and a pat on the back making him rethink his nomadic lifestyle, making him wonder if he could really come back and put down some roots in the place he’d always loved above all others, no matter how far he’d roamed. Then the guys had been so damned accepting when Red had let his little secret out, it just wasn’t good for him. He needed to get back out on the road, to remember that he was always going to be alone and there weren’t any other options. He didn’t need to let fond memories of a childhood that had been a lie fog up the truth of the matter; there was never going to be a place he could call home or people who would accept him. His life was meant to be one of solitude.
The edges of Three Rivers faded as he passed the battered city limits sign, the crisp air stinging his face as he accelerated, he passed the last businesses that dotted the outskirts of the small town. The porn store slash whore house slash pawn shop that Red owned with the club among them, the neon light of the flashing sign bright in his rearview mirror, he’d never ventured in but he was sure the Pawn & Poon was a class act.
He couldn’t stay, he told himself again, sooner or later someone would find out the real truth about him and the fallout would damage more than just himself.
Plus, he was getting soft staying in one place. He’d even defended Red, who had been acting like a complete and utter deranged person, to Sidney. And then he’d pushed her away because of her feelings. The truth was he’d pushed her away because of his feelings. He wanted her, he’d told himself from the beginning that he just wanted a night or two with her because it was just sexual attraction, but the thought of her sleeping with him while thinking about Red had left him feeling uneasy. Yes, he wanted her, but much to his exasperation, he wanted more than just her body. And that was all he could ever have because anything more was asking too much from her or any other woman.
He’d seen what loving him had cost Logan. Everything, it had cost her everything and it had left Morgan without a mother and Red without the girl he’d wanted to spend his life with. He wasn’t willing to risk that again, not with Sidney or anyone else. Demon smirked to himself, he and Red seemed doomed to repeat history or either they were just cursed to find the same women irresistible. Though Red seemed to be fucking up his chances with Sidney and doing it with style. Banging her sister and having Sidney walk in on the act, after her ex fiancé had been caught cheating on her, well, that was a level of fucking up with a chick that Demon didn’t think he’d ever be able to match. Red was going to snap out of whatever mental road trip he was currently taking and figure out that there were some things that just couldn’t be taken back.
He’d done the right thing leaving after the whole Logan situation. He should probably go ahead and go before he created a situation just as bad with Sidney. If it weren’t for those damn suits making threats and kicking shit he’d be gone already. He just didn’t feel right leaving when he might be needed. It was obvious the Dogs wouldn’t be able to handle the situation on their own, no matter what Red thought, and if they weren’t going to ask for help from the witches or the other folks in the community, he might be the only thing that stood between them and complete extermination. This was the closest thing he had to home, to family, even if they could never accept him completely, and he might be a giant prick but he couldn’t just leave when so much was on the line.
Demon turned the motor off and swung his leg over the seat of his bike. Almost without thought he’d made his way back to his place, the little cliff that overlooked Three Rivers. He hadn’t been lying when he’d told Sidney that he’d spent hours up there as a teenager. It had been his sanctuary when he didn’t think he could take one more look of accusation from the people who were supposed to love him.
Red’s face, his look of disgust when he’d seen Demon working with his powers, levitating his Spanish notebook above his face while he’d been lying in bed studying, reared back into Demon’s mind. That had been a hard time. Red hadn’t taken the time to let him explain, instead he’d gone straight to their father, accusations flying. Demon had followed, trying to convince Red to keep what he’d seen to himself, not to make a scene with their father. But Red wouldn’t be deterred. At that point Red hadn’t blamed Demon for anything, he’d seen him as a victim of irresponsible breeding. Red had blamed his father. It was bad enough that his father had had an affair that had resulted in a child, but
that was something the family had dealt with, but to have one with a witch? Creating something that was clearly against nature and against the teachings found in their precious book, that was another thing all together.
So Demon had followed Red as he burst through the doors of the clubhouse he wasn’t supposed to be in without permission, eyes wild with anger. They’d both been told in no uncertain terms to go to Red’s house and wait for their Dad to get home. Red hadn’t wanted to listen, he’d wanted to discuss it right there in front of everyone, but a fist to the jaw had a way of convincing a kid to do what they’re told.
They’d gone to Red’s house and waited, Glory had been there fixing dinner and she’d greeted them both with a smile. At that point Glory had treated him like a second son, one she hadn’t wanted but would take and nurture none-the-less, and Demon had loved her like a second mother. He’d brought her flowers and cards on every Mother’s Day and birthday, and she’d smiled at him and kissed him like she loved him. She’d taken him to baseball practice when his mother hadn’t been able to, brought him homemade cookies when his first girlfriend, an older woman of sixteen, had broken up with him. She’d taken his side when Red and him argued and Red was in the wrong and she’d switched his tail right beside Red’s when they’d been caught teasing another kid. It still tugged at his heart when he saw her, her stony glare tearing away a little more of him each time she pretended to not quite see him.
All of that changed in an instant. The instant Red’s father came in and started spewing lies. Lies about his mother, lies even about him. Lies to cover his own ass and put the blame where it didn’t belong, on him and his mother. Making it seem like he’d somehow been coerced, seduced, into a relationship and kept there by magical means. He’d even accused Demon, his son, of helping his mother blackmail him into silence. Demon had been thrown out of the house and told never to return, told he was trash and should be ashamed of who and what he was. He’d wanted to argue, wanted to tell them all the truth, but years of living with his secrets had kept his mouth shut. Plus, he didn’t want to hurt Red and Glory by exposing their husband and father for the fucking liar he was. Whatever virtues his mother had seen in him were beyond Demon. He’d actually asked her one time and she’d just smiled at him and said that maybe one day he’d understand, he’d meet someone who was beautifully broken and want to put the pieces back together for them.
