As soon as the lyrics started, we were both singing our hearts out. It cracked me up though because Olivia really did know ALL the parts. She was just as lame as I was in that way and she’d jump around from this part to that, choosing what she liked to sing instead of sticking to one role.
When it came to Galinda’s solos she just stayed quiet and looked over at me. It made me nervous and embarrassed. Half of the first song IS Galinda so it was definitely obvious what she was trying to do.
Singing with her was perfect. We were both so into it and I didn’t feel weird after awhile when she stopped singing and started to listen to me. I wanted to sing to her. I was hoping that she could tell what I was thinking about. My favorite part of Wicked was when we got to I’m Not That Girl. Olivia got really lost in it. It was mostly Elphaba and definitely romantic. I only hoped she didn’t notice me watching. When For Good started though it was all perfect in every way. We felt those sappy words together. It was real. Her hand in mine, lovingly touching. I felt the ring even when I wasn’t seeing it.
For a small space of time we actually disappeared into the music and found a home together there, not that we even needed to get away. It made me happy though, it meant we could do things like this again. It was important to me.
After that we calmed a lot, talked a little, listened to other things. It was so normal being together all of a sudden. We were like old friends, not new ones, it was odd yet perfect.
My heart was crushed a little though when I started to see things outside that I didn’t exactly want to see. Exits and scenery; too familiar. The sign to the movie theater just thirty minutes’ drive out from my home. The gas station I always used to mark the midpoint between my favorite beach and the school.
The singing died and I remembered where she was taking me. I didn't know if I could go inside.
All of a sudden, our time was really up. Like the sand in an hour glass, I could only envision a few single grains left before I’d be walking in to see my dad all alone.
Without asking or even saying a word, Olivia took the exit to get to my house and immediately turned left just like I would have if I had been driving myself alone. Every second made me feel heavier. Somewhere during the drive I’d taken her hand. Now, I clung to it, trying not to squeeze too tight. We turned on my street and I looked away from the road and to her.
She could just drive right past it and I would feel an immense weight lift off of me. The car slowed down and stopped and I just looked at her. A minute passed and then two. “I can’t get out.” I was thinking hard, avoiding the door. I was home.
“I can take you somewhere else,” she said. “You know I don’t even want to leave you.”
“Well, I’m kind of bummed you knew where I lived, stalker girl.” I said it with affection, hoping that she would take it that way.
“Bummed? Really?” She looked down at her hands and got quiet. “I’m sort of crazy, huh?” It was obvious she was feeling a sense of heaviness too.
“I’m just as crazy. That’s why we work.”
I knew she couldn’t take me anywhere else. I had to go in. My dad was expecting me home today. He would just try to hunt me down if I didn’t come home.
“Does that offer to live in your closet still stand?” I squeaked out.
“Definitely,” she said. “But… I could always go in with you if you want me to? No touching. Strictly friend me?”
My lips formed a thin line. I thought about it. Subjecting her to him when I didn’t know how he would be seemed risky but I wanted it so much. Could I be that selfish? “I don’t want to put you in the middle of a bad situation, even though I know that’s where you’d want to be. Maybe if you just help me carry stuff in and then we can see from there?” It also occurred to me that he might be super polite if she was with me.
“I can definitely do that,” she said, putting the car into park but waiting for me to be ready to get out.
I took a deep breath and let it out. “Okay,” I said, unbuckling my seatbelt and opening the door. “Now or never.” I felt better knowing that she was going to be with me for at least a minute. The last two weeks had been a mess of emotions and I needed her now.
To Be Continued…
Author’s Note
Writing this series has been both intense and enjoyable. We only hope that you can gain as much pleasure from reading this as we have received in simply writing this world.
As it stands, right now, this project is well over a million words. There’s a lot to edit, embellish, and perfect but so far what we have is a very intense story that spans the course of six months and follows the relationship of these two girls, as they spring into adulthood amidst stress, pressure, and turmoil.
We plan on continuing the story further. Right now, we have enough content to consider the world complete. I can guarantee you that neither of our main queer characters will die and that neither of them will hurt the other in a way that will warrant them to break-up for good.
What you have just read is just the beginning. This is an intense series that we embarked on writing after the cancellation of Faking It and the uncalled for death of Lexa from The 100.
We wanted to write a story that had complex queer female leads and we wanted to follow a queer relationship that grew and stretched on the main stage instead of behind locked doors for no viewers or readers to take in.
So often female characters are not written well. So often queer characters are killed off. So often we do not get to see queer relationships playout and we do not get to see these relationships blossom.
The story we have crafted is intense and emotional. Our main goal was that both of these characters felt real and that we continued to write the relationship for a long period of time to grow it in a realistic way.
As a whole, what we ended up with was so much more complex than we ever planned or intended. I only hope this world grows a readership because later in the series we dive into important issues that have to deal with mental health and the effects of sex, neglect, and abuse, both mental and physical, on a queer relationship that longs to endure.
Thank you for reading! If you’d like to see more of this world, spread the word!
Love, Love, Love,
Two Female Queer Writers,
E & B
Paper Dolls, Book One Page 39
