Whichever perspective, I was resigned to it being a matter of semantics. I was what I was, and the news of that seemed to have stunned Dezzi and Devon. Her face was uncharacteristically blank, and Devon’s mouth was uncharacteristically silent.
Finally, Dezzi took another sip of wine, and Devon poured himself a glass of beer from the pitcher.
Unnerved, I slapped my hands on the table and stood. “Okay, so that’s all. Meeting adjourned.”
Lucen grabbed my wrist. His grip was light, and his face twisted into a smile, but his message was clear. “Would you relax?”
“No.”
“So what are you?” Devon asked.
“A freak,” I grumbled, but I sat back down.
Dezzi leaned forward, weaving her fingers together and resting her chin on them. “I’ve had suspicions, although the details elude me.”
Devon blinked at her. “You know?”
“I said not for certain.” She waved a finger at me. “Tell me everything and start at the beginning.”
I poured myself some of the beer. This could be a long story if I knew where to start. Was it with what the Gryphons had done to me as a teenager, or when I bargained with Gunthra for the information?
I decided on Gunthra, and spent the next ten minutes going over everything I’d learned about myself in the past month. The beer loosened my tongue, or I blamed the beer anyway. Although I’d rehearsed this part, the truth was, I hadn’t done a good job of it. As I spoke, it dawned on me that it was damn near impossible to explain my sordid life story without sharing details I’d have rather not shared about my abilities and about the Gryphons.
I talked about the deal I’d struck with Gunthra. The explanation she gave me—how humans with magical blood didn’t always die when preds tried to change them, but on rare occasions became something other, not quite pred but no longer human.
I mentioned the unique abilities my quasi-satyr status gave me—how I could influence humans, my stronger resistance to pred power, and most importantly, my ability to reverse the bond that preds used to feed on human emotions. Then I explained how I’d used that ability on the fury who tried to addict me, and how the Gryphons had discovered some of what I was capable of.
Finally, I told them about the Gryphon files Steph stole, getting them decrypted, and finding out it was the Brotherhood of the Wing that had done this to me.
When I finished, Dezzi and Devon knew everything I’d told Lucen, and the shock waves I’d elicited had me squirming in my seat. Shock tended to blunt a pred’s power, but shock was temporary. Once it passed, preds threw off heavy power from their heightened emotions, and I’d given Dezzi and Devon a lot to think about. Not only was I well aware of Devon’s clove scent, but Dezzi’s coconut pheromones settled against my skin too.
I slid my chair back from the table and pulled my knees in. It didn’t help dull my senses, but it made me feel more secure.
Devon raised his glass toward me in a mock toast. “So you’re one of us. Congratulations on your promotion. This changes things.”
“Changes what things?”
“Before you were interesting because you were a strange human. Now that I know you’re your own species? That is way beyond interesting.” His blue eyes opened wide as he turned to Lucen. “You can’t hoard her. It’s not fair.”
Lucen laughed, but I groaned. “Can you be serious for a minute?”
“What makes you think I’m not?”
Fortunately, Dezzi didn’t seem to be in a joking mood, and a glance from her made the boys shut up. “I suspected something like this but not to this extent. Changing someone with magic in their blood—I knew that it did not always kill the person, but I did not know it could lead to people with Jessica’s abilities.”
“I didn’t even know that much,” Devon said, sounding petulant.
Dezzi’s expression was mock pitying, and she patted him on the arm like a child.
I snickered into my beer, and Devon tossed a pistachio shell at me.
“So is that what you were thinking?” Lucen asked. He still held my wrist, but now his grip felt more protective than controlling. I appreciated the warmth of his hand.
“Not quite. Gunthra’s knowledge appears more extensive than my own.” Dezzi smiled apologetically, but she didn’t sound happy about that. “The implications here are intriguing. If the Gryphons have found out how to ensure the survival of people like Jessica during the transformation, that would be good to know. As is whatever else this Brotherhood is doing in secret.”
Devon tapped his fingers around his glass. “It could change the entire power balance between us and the Gryphons. It takes away our only real threat to them.”
“Please.” I crossed my arms, letting my feet fall to the floor with a thud. “All it would do is put you on equal footing with them.”
“But there’s a lot more of them, in case you haven’t noticed.”
“There’s a lot more humans,” I countered. “Not a lot of them with Gryphon talents.”
“But they have the magi working with them.”
The only race that preds hated more than other pred races were the magi. The bird shifters possessed just as much magic as preds, but they allied themselves with the Gryphons.
Lucen cleared his throat. “Speaking of Gryphons, since Jess has gone back to working with them—”
“You what?” Devon shook his head at me. “After what you said they did to you?”
I glared at Lucen. Dezzi hadn’t taken it well the first time I went to consult for the Gryphons. At least in the end, it had worked out in her favor, so she’d forgiven me. “It’s not permanent. I’m only doing it to help a friend. One case, then I’m done.”
“Would they have you for longer?” Dezzi watched me, her near-empty wineglass at her lips.
I frowned, confused by the question. “I’m sure Director Lee would love it. Why?”
“I like this. I think it is a good thing for you to work for them.”
Lucen gaped at her along with me. “How is this good?”
“As I understand it, the only ones who know what Jessica truly is are us, Gunthra, and some within the Gryphons who will not want her secret made public. Correct?”
I wet my lips. “Yes.”
“Then it should be obvious. Jessica is one of us, though the Gryphons want her to be one of them. This council will benefit greatly from having an insider among them.”
Devon raised his eyebrows at me, and Lucen scratched his scruffy chin. Much as he didn’t want me to work for the Gryphons, Dezzi had gotten his attention.
She’d gotten mine too, but I wasn’t contemplating the idea like they were. “No. Look, I appreciate what you’ve done for me in the past, but any debt I owe you, I consider paid by foiling Lucrezia’s schemes.”
Dezzi said nothing and reached for a pistachio.
It was Devon who broke the uncomfortable silence. “Jess, I know you used to have this strange notion about supporting the Gryphons, but after what they did? You’re not human. You don’t have to be Team Human by default anymore.”
“I’m Team Me. And me is not a team player.”
“So why are you siding with the Gryphons?”
I started to bang my head against the table, then thought better of it. “I’m not. I’m furious at the Gryphons for what they did, but I’m not a part of your domus, and I’m not going to be anyone’s spy.”
“Actually,” Dezzi said, and that one word made my blood cold.
I cut her off before she could finish, glaring at Lucen. “You said no oaths.”
“Jess.” His voice was annoyingly condescending, but his expression was confused. His blue-green eyes left my face for Dezzi’s.
“Jessica.”
I sighed. “Yes?”
Dezzi pursed her lips in response to my tone. “I cannot
force you to join my domus, nor would I. We live like we do for our own protection, which you do not need because you pass as human.”
This time. You don’t need our protection right now because the Gryphons aren’t hunting you right now. Dezzi didn’t say it, but the reminder was evident in her inflection.
I forced myself not to twitch.
Dezzi spun one of the silver bracelets around her wrist. “It is tradition that if a member of the domus uncovers betrayal or a similar crime by a member of the Dom’s council, then that person is rewarded for their intelligence and loyalty by being offered the newly emptied seat on the council. As I did not believe you were one of us, I’d been considering who should fill the opening left by Lucrezia’s departure. But things have changed, as my number one so astutely pointed out earlier.” She cast a sarcastic smile his way, which Devon returned.
I watched their exchange, mind reeling as I processed what she was implying. “Wait, you’re offering me a seat on your council?” I had to say it aloud to grasp it. It was insane.
It was also, admittedly, kind of brilliant. Dezzi wasn’t forcing me to join her domus or be her spy. She was offering me a place of honor within it, and in such a way that the other satyrs would have to respect me. In one gesture, she told me I’d earned her confidence. In one gesture, she dangled out power. Protection. Belonging—something I hadn’t had since the Gryphons had dumped me from their Academy.
And if I took it, how could I not spy on the Gryphons for her? If I took it, I’d have chosen a side. The Gryphons had used me, then cast me out. Once again, Dezzi was willing to take in the satyr who’d been tossed aside. She was the benevolent queen, and this was why people like Devon and Lucen were devoted to her.
I had to admit, the offer was tempting. That willingness to trust me and treat me with respect was very different from the welcome I’d gotten from the Gryphons. Director Lee had called me stupid and reckless before blackmailing me into being a consultant.
But more than that, it was the idea of finally belonging somewhere that called to me. I’d been an outsider for so long, prey among the preds and a freak among the humans.
Dezzi took my hand, but I barely registered the lust that should have stirred from touching her. “You are one of us, though a unique one for sure. You have proven yourself extremely capable. You have won the trust and affection of someone I hold in high regard. And you live among us. By tradition, I have no qualms offering you a seat if you will have it.”
With Dezzi touching my left hand, and Lucen my right, I felt pulled in two directions, although they were undoubtedly pulling me the same way. Yet when I looked up from the table, it was Devon, sitting across from me, who I saw. Devon with the horns in his black hair where I had none, and Devon whose magic affected me still, reminding me that I wasn’t as free of pred influence as I liked to pretend.
And that was really the crux of it. Deep down, I still wasn’t one of them. Council seat or not, I would be different. Dezzi’s satyrs could feed off my emotions, and I identified as human, much to Lucen’s dismay.
Swallowing, I withdrew my hands from both Dezzi and Lucen. I would have to choose my words carefully. “I’m flattered by the offer, but I’m not ready to commit to anything.”
“Think on it,” Dezzi said. “The offer stands for the time being.”
Chapter Ten
Dezzi left soon after, but Devon lingered, to my dismay. He hung out at the bar with Lucen, and together they planned my future on the council.
“Standard council initiation for a nonstandard satyr?” Devon asked. He pushed a stray curl out of his eyes, which were focused on me and filled with mischief.
I was hoping to ignore him and have a word with Lucen before I left, but that was looking less and less likely. The two of them had been doing their best to goad me since the meeting broke up, ignoring the fact that I was in no mood for joking. Something they should have been well aware of.
Lucen leaned against the bar, scratching the scruff on his chin. “You mean the one where…?”
“That was it.”
They both stared expectantly at me.
I gritted my teeth and checked my email. I was not going to ask whatever they wanted me to ask. Go away, Devon. You make me nervous.
“That’s always good fun, although it’s also been a long time since we had a proper orgy around here.”
“Save that for the after-party, perhaps.” Devon pointed at him. “I’m not hosting it at Purgatory. Too much cleanup.”
“Fine. Forget it. I get the feeling Jess would never admit to liking it anyway.”
Paulius, one of The Lair’s usual bartenders, furrowed his brow in my direction and took my empty glass. “What are they going on about?”
“Nothing. They’re being dorks and trying to get a rise out of me. That’s all.”
“Actually, I think you’ve got the rising thing reversed,” Devon said. “But initiation should clear that up if Lucen hasn’t managed it yet.”
Lucen punched him in the arm. God, it was like I was surrounded by teenage boys.
Paulius grinned. “So what’s initiation?”
“I was waiting for someone to ask.” Devon sighed heavily. “We expect new members to make a vow with each existing member.”
“In front of the whole council,” Lucen added.
“In the position of the existing member’s choice.”
“And a good time will be had by all.”
I tucked my phone away, very conscious of how close they stood. I could close my eyes, spin around until dizzy and still sense the precise location of both Lucen and Devon thanks to the pull of their magic. My skin itched with it, longing for two pairs of hands to descend and quench the irritation. Lucen’s hands slipping between my thighs… Devon’s tongue burrowing in my mouth…
Damn it, my clothes were getting uncomfortable. Anyway, what the hell was wrong with me? I could barely control myself around Lucen. The two of them together might rip me in half, and I didn’t even like Devon.
Liar, a traitorous voice in my head whispered. You think he’s funny and attractive.
But I don’t trust him.
Why not? When has he ever done anything to deserve that? Is it because he’s a satyr? Newsflash, little siren: so are you.
Go piss on a salamander, I told the voice. I hated internal arguments, and they were a hundred times worse when the subject of said arguments was gazing at me like he could read my thoughts as well as my emotions. My life had been so much simpler when I’d shunned relationships altogether.
I mimicked Devon’s impish expression. “You’re both so full of shit that it stinks in here.”
Laughing, Paulius got back to work. It was time I did the same since I was obviously not going to get that private, serious conversation with Lucen accomplished.
“Jess, are you leaving?” He slid a beer down the bar to Devon.
I stuck my hands on my hips. “Yes, unless either of you can tell me what goblin addicted Eric Marshall.”
“Isn’t he that writer guy?” Devon asked. “Highly controversial thrillers, right? I didn’t know he’s an addict.”
“Was. Not anymore. I take it that means you’re not useful.”
“I’m very useful when it’s important, as you should know. And that reminds me, I’m still waiting on my thank-you present for saving your life last week.”
“Sorry, I’m too busy saving someone else’s life this week. I have work to do. For the Gryphons.”
Lucen had grabbed my hand and was kissing it when I said that. He smacked the back of my fingers before releasing me.
“That there is your problem,” Devon said as I walked away. “You could be so much more fun if you ditched the beasts.”
“No one who knows me thinks I’m fun.”
“But we can fix that,” Devon called after me.
Lucen and Devon had been taken by surprise too, but if they had any misgivings about Dezzi’s decision, they kept quiet in front of me. Good little satyr boys. Loyal and trusting of their Dom, at least in public.
Truthfully though, I doubted Lucen had concerns. He was probably thrilled by the idea, which made being annoyed about not talking to him all the dumber. What was there to discuss? He’d want me to go for it. Was I hoping he’d talk me into it?
I didn’t think so. I just wanted someone to talk to about the meeting, and Lucen was my only option. Steph didn’t know enough, and like Lucen, I knew what her opinion would be. As for Devon, he didn’t count. The only times we managed to have serious conversations were when he was threatening me to get my nose out of satyr business. Sometimes I wondered if he was capable of being serious at all where I was concerned.
“Oh, lookie here. It’s my favorite satyr’s girlie.”
I paused with my hand on my building door and swallowed. The fury I liked to call Mace-head because of the way he wore his spiky hair—and because I didn’t know his real name—was leaving the magic shop on my right.
All I knew about him was that he’d hung around with the fury who’d tried to frame me for Victor Aubrey’s murders, and a week or two ago he’d inexplicably chased off a couple of his brethren who’d been out for revenge. Then he’d told me the fury Dom had plans for me.
My blood turned cold. Funny how I’d forgotten about that until this moment.
Bells on the shop door jingled as it closed behind Mace-head. He tucked a package under his arm so he could pull out a cigarette. “Not just strolling about anymore, are you? Moved in?”
[M__M 03] Misery Loves Company Page 10
