“You okay, baby girl?” he asked gently.
“Yes, just don’t stop holding me.”
“Never. You’re my good girl, my very precious good girl,” he told her in a low murmur. “Aren’t you?”
“Yes, Sir,” she replied.
Gavin rubbed her bottom, ignoring her small protest. She wiggled, trying to escape his touch. “Shh, now, I know it hurts, but it’s supposed to. Just rest and let me take care of you.”
Lila nodded tiredly, laying against his chest as he slowly carried her up the stairs. Trace stood, placing a kiss on her lips as they walked past. Gavin hadn’t thought it possible to love her any more, but he felt his chest swelling.
He set her on the side of the bed and moved to her drawers to grab one of his t-shirts that she’d taken to wearing to bed. She’d stolen a t-shirt from each of them out of the laundry. Not that any of them were complaining. He loved the thought of her wearing his t-shirt to bed. Of course, he loved the thought of her naked, in his bed, more. Walking back over, he handed over the t-shirt.
“You get ready for bed, baby girl. I’ll be back in soon.” He turned and walked out quickly, knowing she was surprised by his quick departure. He wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms and kiss her, to worship those breasts and spread her legs so he could lick the lush cream from her folds.
But he had to wait. She wasn’t ready. Not yet.
Damn it was hard.
He paced up and down the passage before knocking and entering her room. She was lying in bed, rubbing her eyes.
Gavin walked over to her bookshelf and pulling down an old favorite, sat in the armchair by her bed.
“Are you going to read to me?” she asked.
It was something Clay had always done when she was feeling upset or lonely.
“I sure am, precious. You just lie back, close your eyes and listen.”
Gavin started reading. She was asleep by page five, but he stayed there, just watching her sleep for a long time.
*****
Lila woke up slowly, she stretched, surprised to find that her bottom no longer hurt. She’d still expected to feel the effects of last night’s spanking. Reaching down, she massaged her bottom. Her eyes shot open as a low chuckle filled the room. She glanced over to find Trace sitting in the chair that Gavin had been sitting in last night.
“Sore, little girl?” he asked in a low voice.
She scowled at him. “Not really, although I thought I would be. That man has a hand like a wooden block.”
Trace grinned and leaning forward, pushed her hair back off her face. “Pff, he went easy on you.”
Easy? Hell’s bells.
She coughed a little, her mouth dry. Probably from all the crying. Trace reached over and grabbed a glass of water, holding it as she sat up. She took it gratefully. “Thanks.”
She put the empty glass down on the table. “You guys are so good to me. I’m worried I’m not giving you all the same attention. How do I keep up with all of you? Three men to look after is a lot when I’m not used to even one man. I mean, what if Colin and Gavin get jealous of you being in here with me, I mean, I don’t think I can handle keeping track…” she started to grow panicky.
“Shh, honey,” Trace soothed her. “You aren’t to worry about any of that stuff, okay? We won’t get jealous and if that ever did happen then it would between us. We all want time alone with you, of course, but we’ll work that out. I know it seems pretty intimidating, especially since we’re all fairly hard-headed men, but just remember that you know us.
“We are always here for you. The good thing about having three men is that one of us will always be available to you. If you need a hug or some advice or that jar of pickles opened, then one of us will be there. You just have to ask. We are here for you, Lila girl.”
“I’ll do my best never to hurt you guys, too,” she said. She looked down at her hands. “Is Colin home yet?” She’d been hurt when he didn’t want to go out for dinner with them and she couldn’t help but feel he was ashamed of her.
“Yes, baby, he came home last night. Hey, why so sad?” Trace placed his fingers under her chin, raising her face.
“Did he really have to work last night?”
Trace looked surprised then he sighed. “Yes, he did.”
“Why do I feel like he doesn’t really want to be seen with me? Is he ashamed of me?” she asked, ashamed of her insecurity, but she had to know.
Trace gathered her into his arms, rocking her. “No, God, no. Never think that.” He kissed the top of her head then set her back. “This is something that Colin should talk to you about.”
“Please tell me,” she begged. “I feel sick at the idea that he doesn’t want to be around me.”
Trace kissed her. “He loves you, I know he does. But about eight months ago he was hurt badly. Hocken lost one of their vets when died of a heart attack, so Colin was helping them out two days a week. He was really enjoying it, even though it was a bit of a drive back and forth.”
“He had this assistant, Sara. She had the hots for him, it was easy to see when we met her, but he wouldn’t listen to me or Gavin. He just figured she was being friendly. You know what Colin’s like, he’s friends with everyone.”
She nodded. Colin did see tend to try and see the good in everyone. Or he had, she sensed something had changed about him. He’d become harder.
“Well, she started to get pushier and bitchier when he didn’t buy what she was trying to sell. He returned to his motel room one night to find her in his bed. She threw herself at him. Colin tried to let her down gently, so he explained about our feelings for you.”
She winced. “Oh, crap.”
Trace smiled wryly. “Exactly. She went off, called him a pervert, an asshole and worse. But she didn’t stop there. She started spreading lies, telling everyone that he’d tried to force her into a relationship with all of us. She had a lot of friends and the community didn’t react well. In the end he couldn’t even walk down the street without someone commenting. Gavin and I could have handled it, but not Colin. He was devastated. Even though he knows no one in Haven would say anything or even think anything bad, the fear is still there.”
“Poor Colin,” she whispered. “That’s horrible.”
“Yes, but he has no right to make you feel unwanted. I’ll have a chat with him.” His face grew grim and she grabbed his hand.
“No, don’t, please. Just let it be. Promise me.”
Looking reluctant, he nodded. “Okay, I’ll leave it. So long as he doesn’t hurt you.”
*****
“How is she?” Gavin asked Trace as he walked into the kitchen. He was worried about how she would feel towards him after he spanked her last night.
“She’s good. Still a bit worried about how the relationship between the four of us would work, but I think I eased her mind.”
“What relationship?” Colin said with frustration. “We haven’t done more than kiss her. She’ll probably change her mind. I mean, what woman would really want the three of us? I should have known this idea was crazy, that it would never work. But I let you guys talk me around. It’s never going to work.”
“It will work, if we all stick together. Don’t let what happened with Sara affect your relationship with Lila,” Gavin urged. He held back his temper. He knew Colin had been hurt badly by what had happened in Hocken, but he wasn’t about to let Colin ruin this for them or hurt Lila.
“She wants us,” Trace reassured him in a far more patient voice than Gavin could manage. “She loves us, Colin. She just wants to take it slow, is that so hard to understand?”
“No sane woman would want what we want, they’d think it disgusting.”
Gavin placed his hands on his hips, but before he could open his mouth Trace caught his eyes, shaking his head. Trace turned to his younger brother.
“I can tell you right now that Lila certainly didn’t look disgusted last night when she danced between me and Gavin at Dirty Delight
s,” Trace told him.
“You went dancing at Dirty Delights?” Colin asked.
Gavin relaxed slightly at the disappointment on Colin’s face. He did want this. He was just too scared to believe in it yet. “If you’d come with us, you’d know she’s not ashamed or horrified by what we want and neither is anyone else. Were you disgusted by Max, Logan and Savannah?”
“That’s different,” Colin insisted. “I know the people here won’t turn their back on me, but will Lila be able to live like this or is the novelty going to wear off?”
“I’m not her, Colin. I will try my hardest not to hurt you.”
They all turned at Lila’s voice.
Fuck, how long had she been standing there? She wore an old pink robe, her hair mussed around her face, her eyes still a bit heavy with sleep. And she looked so adorable that Gavin wanted to grab her and spirit her off to bed.
Gavin opened up his arms. “Come here, baby girl,” he told her, gratified when she didn’t hesitate to fling herself into his arms.” He glared at Colin when he felt her trembling in his arms.
“Are you okay, shorty?” Trace asked, coming up behind her. He ran his down her back, obviously feeling the shudders racking her slight body as he looked up at Gavin in concern. “Why aren’t you in the shower?”
“I wanted to talk to you guys and I didn’t want to lose my nerve. I don’t want to cause any arguments between all of you. I don’t want to hurt anyone. Maybe it would be best if I just left.”
Gavin squeezed her tight, terror filling him at the thought of losing her. “Like hell,” he told her, looking at both of his brothers. They stared back at him, faces filled with worries. Placing his hands under her butt, he hoisted her into the air. Her legs came around his waist. “Let’s get one thing straight right now, precious. You are the most important person in this room. Sometimes we fight amongst ourselves, we’re brothers, that’s what siblings do. But it is not your fault, you are never to blame. Do you hear me?”
“Yes, Sir,” she told him, surprising him. She’d used that title last night, but she’d been in a very vulnerable position at the time.
“Lila, whatever we do, you decide the pace of it,” Gavin told her. “You decide how far we go and when.”
She nodded then looked over at Colin who still held himself back. “Let me down, please.”
Gavin let her go reluctantly, watching carefully as she walked over to stand in front of Colin.
“I want this,” Lila told him. “Being with the three of you is something I take very seriously, which is part of the reason I want to go slow. I’m not holding back from having sex because I’m scared or horrified about being with the three of you, but because I want to build our relationship first. Because once I sleep with you I’m guessing I won’t leave your bed for quite a while.”
Colin remained quiet. “Colin? What are you thinking?” she asked, reaching out to touch him. “Please talk to me.”
He shook his head and turning, took off out the door. Lila looked after him, her face devastated.
“Oh God, he doesn’t want this, does he?” she asked, looking back at Gavin and Trace, tears in her eyes.
“Give him time, Lila,” Trace told her, coming over to wrap his arms around her. “He needs to think things through.” They heard a door slamming then the roar of a truck. She winced.
“I don’t want to force him.”
“None of us do, baby girl.” Gavin came over to her and clasped her face between his hands. “But I don’t want you fretting about this, all right? Colin needs to work things through for himself. Tell you what, how would you like to spend the whole day with us?”
“You have the day off?” she asked in an excited voice, making him smile.
“Yes, baby girl. So how about you go get ready why I get some breakfast together. Then we’ll all go for a ride. Would you like that?”
She nodded eagerly then kissed Gavin’s lips before raising her face up for Trace to kiss her. “That sounds great.”
Gavin smiled as she left. He only hoped that Colin could let go of his past enough to let himself enjoy their beautiful girl.
Chapter Six
Colin drove without really noticing where he was going. He was ashamed of the way he’d just stormed out without even talking to Lila, especially when he pictured her face, filled with sadness and a touch of fear.
As though afraid he would never accept her.
He just found it hard to trust that this is what she really wanted. Part of him expected her to call him a sick bastard, to look at him in disgust. He never wanted to see Lila looking at him the way Sara had. Shaking off old memories, he pulled up outside the Ferguson ranch house. Max and Logan were his best friends. They and their wife, Savannah, lived on a large spread.
As he climbed out of the truck, Max walked out onto the porch.
“Morning,” Max called out. “Bit early to offer you a beer but I have some coffee.”
“Thanks man,” Colin called out.
Max nodded. “Stay out here, I’ll bring it out.”
Ten minutes later they were sitting on the wide porch, looking out at the land, cups of cooling coffee held in their hands.
“So how are things?” Max asked casually. “How are your brothers and Lila?” Colin had confided in Max and Logan years ago about what he and his brothers felt towards Lila. Before Sara had made him feel ashamed of his own feelings.
“Okay,” Colin replied, smiling without humor. “Well, except for the fact that I just stormed out in a fit of temper.”
Max didn’t react, just sat back in his seat. “Not like you to lose your temper,” he mused.
Colin sighed and, leaning forward, rested his elbows on his knees. “You remember Sara?”
Max snorted. “Yeah, I remember Sara. That woman was a bitch. Savannah hated her.”
Colin raised his eyebrows. “She did?” As far as he knew Savannah got on with pretty much anyone and she’d never let on that she disliked Sara when Colin had arranged dinners between all of them. He’d thought he and Sara were good friends. Turned out she’d wanted more, and he’d been naïve. Why did he confide in her about how he and his brothers felt about Lila?
Because he’d trusted her, that’s why. And he’d been wrong to. Was he wrong to trust Lila as well?
“Oh yeah, I had to bribe her to spend any time with that woman. I know you thought you guys were friends and she hurt you, but you are better off without friends like that.”
Colin blew out a breath. “Yeah, I know. Turns out I wanted a friend and she wanted to get married and have me take care of her.”
“So you going to tell me what happened? Don’t tell me Sara has popped back up, she’s not making trouble with Lila, is she?” Max looked furious at the thought. Colin knew his friend viewed Lila like a little sister—she’d grown up around Max and Logan.
“No, no, the only one causing trouble between me and Lila is me. I’m just having problems believing she really does want to be with all of us.”
Max sat back and raised his eyebrows. “Lila is nothing like Sara. For a start she’s lived in Haven since she was seven. Hell, Laken is her best friend; she spent a lot of nights over there with Laken and her dads. She knows the way Haven works.”
Colin nodded, feeling his stomach unravel. He knew all this, but hearing someone else point it all out helped.
“And Lila doesn’t play around with people. If it made her uncomfortable, she’d say.”
“She told us that she loves us,” Colin told him. “It’s everything I’d hoped for. But she said she wants to take things slow and that made me wonder about whether she really wanted this.”
“You’re a lucky bastard,” Max told him. “Hell, you can’t blame her for wanting to go slow. She’s known you guys for a long time but this is a total shift in your relationship. The fact that you have a history is probably more reason for her to want to take it slow, because if this relationship fails, she doesn’t just lose her boyfriends, she loses her ho
me. I’m sure Lila just wants to be sure that you build a good, strong relationship.”
Sighing, Colin ran his hand over his face tiredly. “You’re right. And I took her need to go slow as a rejection. God, I’m an asshole. I just can’t seem to get Sara’s words out of my head. I really hurt Lila today.”
“Lila’s a tough nut. She’s been through a lot and I’m sure she has her own triggers. I think she’ll understand. One thing I’ve learned since meeting Savannah is that if a woman loves you then she’ll forgive a lot, but only if you talk to her.”
Colin sighed, nodding his head. “You’re right. I know you’re right. I need to talk to her. I have to work past this before it mucks everything up.”
“Sounds to me like you’re this close to having it all.” Max held his finger and thumb an inch apart. “You just have to make that jump. It’s a leap of faith. You need to trust her to catch you, just like you’d catch her.”
“Damn, when did you get to be such a smart bastard?” Colin said with a grin. Max punched him on the shoulder, laughing.
A phone rang and Max stood, going inside to answer it. Colin took another sip of his coffee and realized how stupidly he’d behaved. Now he just had to figure out how to make it up to Lila.
Max returned to the front porch, a small frown on his face.
“Something wrong?” Colin asked.
“That was Jake. He just pulled Savannah up doing fifty in a thirty-five zone,” he said with a scowl.
Colin let out a low, long whistle. “Somebody’s bottom is going to be toast.”
“Sure is,” Max said grimly, sitting back down. “So are you going to go home and make up with Lila?”
“Yep, I’ll even get down on my knees if I have to.”
Max smiled. “I’m glad. You all deserve to be happy. I know things haven’t been easy lately, but Clay would be so pleased.”
“I know. He loved all of us. All he wanted was for us to be happy.”
“He was a great man. Have you had the reading of the will yet?” Max asked.
Colin shook his head. “No, we’ve got an appointment with the lawyer next Tuesday.”
A small blue car moved slowly up the driveway. Colin cracked a smile. “Seems like someone has learned to slow down.”
Lila's Loves Page 9
