I sighed. I didn’t want to lie to him. He must’ve heard about Petra’s escape. He knew what I was worried about. “I’m no longer helpless.”
He nodded. “That doesn’t mean you’re immune to bad news.”
“I don’t want to have sex with you because I’m afraid.”
He gave me a long look, then scooted toward the headboard, sitting upright and tugging me into his arms, the gesture not being passionate, but rather comforting and sweet. “Talk to me.”
I breathed out, but the embers in my body continued to burn, refusing to die. Nestling myself into Thorsten’s arms, I told him about Lily, what MacGregor had put her through, and how I had to hide everything. “I might be a princess of the Winter Court, but it doesn’t change anything. I’m still a pawn. I can’t choose how to live my life.” As I spoke, tension left my chest.
He smiled, amusement shining in his eyes. How was it allowed that one man could be so sexy? “So, you decide to jump me as an act of rebellion?”
I chuckled and shoved my elbow into his ribs, but then all the playfulness left me as I thought about my life so far and the horrific fate I had barely escaped. “If I hadn’t fled Nocturnal Academy, my body would’ve never belonged to me. At the academy, all sexuality was disgusting. And the twins—” I didn’t finish.
Thorsten tensed underneath me, probably remembering that one time judgment had left me and I had made the stupid decision to tease the twins while sharing a bottle of wine with them.
“Anyhow, my sexuality wasn’t my own, but now I have this part of myself back. Finally. And we’re both out of the academy. Lady Cardinal can’t punish us.”
Thorsten sighed. “True, but that’s not a good reason to sleep with each other.”
I rolled my eyes. “It’s not the only reason. I want to.” I trailed my fingers over his hard chest, and he inhaled sharply.
“Onyx,” he said with a note of warning in his voice, but I had already straddled him and torn off my shirt. His pupils dilated as his gaze fell on my chest, now only covered in a black bra.
“I want you, Thorsten.” Before he could protest and pretend he didn’t need me as desperately as I needed him, I crushed my mouth against his.
He didn’t resist. His hands roamed up and down my body, and I lost myself to his kisses, moaning and circling my hips against his crotch. His hands found the clasp of my bra, but instead of opening it, he pulled briefly back, asking my permission. I nodded. Yes. I wanted this.
The bra straps fell down my shoulders, and he discarded it. His mouth found my hard nipples, and he began to suck. I threw my head back, embers turning to flames, ecstasy overcoming me. But he wasn’t done yet. He flipped us and then put me down on my back, working a trail of hot kisses down my stomach.
“Please,” I begged as he let a hand glide over the top of my pants. I needed more.
Thorsten pulled down my pants, exposing my black thong. He paused, his gaze devouring me, taking me in.
I squirmed, but not because I was ashamed of being nearly naked in front of him, but because I needed more, so much more. Thorsten appeared above me and then his lips collided with mine, and I moaned, bucking my hips against his. Once again, he descended down my body, but this time, he didn’t stop at my lower belly. Instead, his hand caressed the spot between my legs that was pulsating with need, his fingers pressing against the thin fabric.
I fisted the sheets, my upper back rising, my legs opening wide, begging him to take me.
His teeth fastened on my thong, and he dragged it down, exposing the most intimate part of me. His light-blue eyes were hooded as he whispered, “Tonight, it’s all about you.” Then his hands held my hips as his tongue dove right into my center.
A wave of the sweetest pleasure overcame me, and I grabbed a pillow to muffle my screams.
Thorsten was an expert. His tongue drove me wild with each lick, and the heat between my legs grew more and more until it exploded. I shoved my mouth hard into my pillow, but snapped it away as he came up and kissed me on the lips, allowing me to taste myself.
“Did you like that?”
“No.” At his raised eyebrow, I chuckled. “I loved it.”
“Good. Because I have more for you.”
Once again, he went between my legs, this time adding one finger, and then a second to his tongue play.
Only minutes later, I came again, and then a third time. Gently, I pushed Thorsten’s fingers away. “I need a break.” I was shaking with sweet exhaustion.
He kissed my forehead and laid down next to me, wrapping his arms around me. I put my head on his perfect chest and closed my eyes. “Thank you.”
He smiled. “It was my pleasure.”
I shook my head. “I’m thanking you for letting me know how wonderful it feels when my sexuality belongs to me.”
He tensed and his arms tightened around me. “That’s the only way it should be.”
“But it’s not. Not in this world.” The room seemed to darken as I spoke.
He kissed my forehead and stroked my hair. “Shh, don’t think about it now.”
I nodded, my body relaxing into the cocoon of warmth he had created as peaceful sleep overcame.
I awoke to sun rays on my face. Smiling, I rolled over only to freeze. If the sun was up, then Thorsten—
I tore my eyes open and sat up only to find that he was gone, with no traces of ashes on my bed sheets. Smart. He had probably left in the middle of the night. I searched my bedside table and then underneath my pillow, hoping he had left me a note. He hadn’t. It was probably for the best. If anyone found it, we’d get in trouble. Still, thick disappointment swirled in me, but it quickly gave way to a wave of joy as I remembered the previous night. My cheeks flamed as I recalled how expertly Thorsten had pleasured me. It had been the first time for me, but, clearly, he had done it before. Jealousy raked its ugly head, but I shushed it. It didn’t matter what Thorsten had done in the past, who he had been with. The past was the past.
But could he be my future?
My stomach growled, and I got up. These thoughts were too much on an empty stomach. I threw on a fresh pair of training pants and jacket, then headed downstairs. But instead of going to the breakfast room, I went directly into the kitchen, needing to see Lily and tell her what had happened.
I never made it that far, because half way down the hallway, the front door came open with a bang. Iciness flooded the space. Everything in me contracted at Olwen’s energy as he entered the fortress, tall and formidable in his black suit. Waves of anger, triumph, and hatred hit me straight in the chest as he trained his hard eyes on me.
“Onyx.” He gave me a smile that made me stumble backward. “I have found a new target for you. Complete this mission, and you’re ready to take down Vulthus with me.”
I should’ve felt relief, but instead, foreboding settled in my stomach, pulling me down. “Who?” I asked.
Olwen smiled and then he said the name that shattered everything inside of me.
16
Onyx
“Thorsten Steinberg.”
The two words fell on me like a pair of boulders. Olwen punctuated his sentence with a cold, businesslike nod.
All the flame and passion from the night before turned to ash. My ears rang, and I swallowed, straightening up. Did he know Thorsten had been coming onto the property? Worse, had guards heard us or seen him enter through my window? Thoughts swirled in my head and my chest constricted.
“Thorsten Steinberg?” I repeated, trying to sound stupid. “As in, one of the Steinberg heirs? If I remember right, he was a guard at Nocturnal Academy.” This couldn’t be happening.
“Yes. Word has it that he has great potential.” Olwen’s eyes remained serious and unmoving. Did he know or was this some horrific coincidence? It could be a loyalty test. I had to know for sure if Olwen suspected what we’d done.
“The Steinbergs are your enemies?”
“No, but getting closer to Vulthus will require some more wo
rk. You see, the Steinbergs are trying to reclaim their position in the Elites. Once they do that, they’ll want to discredit Vulthus who tried to push them out of the Elites in the first place. As Vulthus believes that I’m his friend, he’ll expect me to help him. Steinberg’s other heir already fell from grace. If he loses Thorsten, his position in the Elites will be taken away permanently.”
I should’ve felt relief that this wasn’t about doubting my loyalty, but just a horrible coincidence, yet I didn’t. “And the Steinbergs losing their position will make Vulthus happy so that he trusts you more than he does now?”
Olwen crossed his arms and nodded. “Yes. Only then will we be able to move against him, Onyx. This is a major test. You are up against a powerful vampire. Pass, and you will be granted your lust for revenge.”
I held back a shudder at his choice of words. Maybe he did know about Thorsten and me spending the night together. But how?
“And not to mention,” he added, “The Steinbergs are too unpredictable. They could become potential allies of the Summer Court if Petra returns with reinforcements. It is best that we weaken them now.”
“Yes.” I bowed my head and swallowing down panic, I walked away.
The whole universe seemed to have turned on me. Olwen’s stare made the space between my shoulder blades tingle as heaviness settled in my heart. I didn’t dare pick up my pace across the sparkling white floor of the corridor until I had turned two corners and walked past a pair of guards stationed near the exit to the plaza.
No, no, no.
My feet carried me outside where I found Lily hauling a broom and dustpan in the direction of the plaza. She was on her way to sweep leaves and pine needles off the cobblestone.
I froze. She did, too, and we stared at each other. Lily lifted an eyebrow, studying me. Her pupils widened. “Something’s wrong.”
“No shit.” My voice was hoarse. Raspy. I had escaped Olwen just in time for the dam to break. My body shook. He wanted me to kill Thorsten. Balling my fists, I checked that we were alone, then motioned for Lily to follow me down the path. I always had to be on my toes. That was my life now.
As we walked, Lily put her hands on my shoulders and squeezed as if she was returning the favor for all the times I had held her hand or rubbed her back. I breathed out and knew what I had to do. Shutting down wasn’t an option. I had an intelligent ear, a secret friend who could help me figure out how to get out of this mess. It was dangerous even talking to Lily as anyone but a servant, but I had already crossed into forbidden territory. What was a little more rule breaking at this point?
We headed around the edge of the plaza with the ice statues and ended up out near the training area. I eyed the arrows still stuck in targets. At least it was daytime and I frequented this area. Atticus wouldn’t be down here for another hour for our training.
Lily directed me to sit on a log. “Tell me what happened before it eats you up.”
“My next kill is...Thorsten.” I could barely choke out the words.
Lily’s jaw dropped, and her gray eyes grew to the size of saucers. In a voice that kept cracking and betraying me, I spilled everything: Thorsten coming through the window, our conversation, my fear, and the way he made me feel, well, like I was more than just a hardened killing machine. Like I was Onyx and my own person.
I had surfaced for one night and now I was drowning again.
Lily stayed still, listening, but the more I talked, the more my rage built. I gripped the log I was sitting on and watched as tendrils of frost spread from my fingers, not even trying to hold back the magic.
“Onyx?” Lily asked when I was finally done.
“I was stupid.” I felt as if I would never get off this log again. Maybe I could freeze myself here. Turn to ice like the statues.
“No. You’re right. You need to live, or what’s the point? There still has to be a way out of this. Have hope.” Lily scooted closer. She was taking a big risk herself.
“When Olwen wants something done, he gets it.” I looked into her gray eyes. Thick desperation settled over me.
“You’re his daughter, not his slave.”
“I’m expected to be a warrior.” That made me a pawn, just as Mom had been.
Lily took my arms. “Remember how Thorsten made you feel. Who cares what others expect of you? Since when do you bend to what everyone else wants?” Lily gave me a grin that dispelled the ice spreading through my veins. “I know you, Onyx. You make the impossible possible. You fought off Preston, exposed Petra, and fled Nocturnal Academy. No one had achieved any of these things before.”
Her words dripped warmth into my chest. She was right. I was Onyx and I had faced nothing but darkness, yet come out on the other side. “Do you have any ideas on how I could change Olwen’s mind?”
“Speak to Olwen in a way he understands.” She flicked her gaze back in the direction of the mansion. “Be cold and calculated. There’s a good chance this is all just a coincidence. Asking him to focus on Vulthus first can’t hurt. At least, you’ll find out if this is a loyalty test or if it’s just a strategic move.”
Lily had a point. So much about this situation was unknown. I had to try. I was glad she thought there was a chance I hadn’t really been caught with Thorsten. If so, then there was also a chance I could convince Olwen to go after a different target.
Lily chewed on her lip. “Maybe pretend to be angry and say that you’re wasting your time while Vulthus runs free.”
I nodded. “Thank you.”
Appear angry. That wasn’t hard at all. I just had to think about how Vulthus had humiliated me and the awful things he was doing to Blair and his other poor servants.
“Onyx. Don’t push yourself past your limits. We still need to go out tonight,” Atticus said as I unleashed a barrage of ice daggers at the sandbags. Three spilled, and I wiped away the sweat off my forehead.
“I’m tired of these small missions. Vulthus is still out there.” I channeled my frustration into another ice dagger. “Olwen is never going to move against him.” Feeling that I had ramped up my act enough, I threw a thick dagger at another sandbag and as the contents spilled, I stormed up the steps and back into the main house.
The sun had just set. Darkness had fallen over the world outside, and I could barely make out the mountains and trees against the dark blue of the new night. Olwen would expect me to go out and hunt Thorsten before sunrise. But instead, I ripped open the door to the study, where he often retreated this time of the night, to find him standing and eyeing one of the bookshelves. Olwen was about to curl up and read. Unbelievable. I clenched my jaw, letting the temperature in the room drop to freezing.
That got Olwen’s attention, because he turned to face me. “Yes, Onyx?”
“Are we ever going to strike Vulthus? I have been waiting for months.” I flexed my hands, showing my impatience.
“We will, but these things take time.” Olwen’s cobalt gaze hardened. “I must ensure we are ready to fight him. We only get one chance to get this right.”
“I’m ready. I’ve attacked plenty of vamps. I’ve killed one. I’ve also killed a Summer prince. It’s time to go after our true target before he suspects what we’re up to.”
“Perhaps you feel those tasks were below you?” Olwen asked in a dangerous tone.
I hesitated, not wanting to appear too eager. “Yes,” I said at last.
Olwen’s eyes sparkled. “You are confident. That is good. But you still need to learn strategy. Our plan will continue as we discussed this morning. One more kill, and we will go after Vulthus.”
I swallowed as my knees trembled. I hoped that Olwen blamed my hard training. “It’s always one more kill,” I said. “I want revenge. Vulthus humiliated me. Each day he goes free, we’re declaring that he can get away with treating a princess of the Winter Court as nothing.”
Olwen’s face darkened, and he stepped away from the bookshelf. Before he could speak, the door flew open. I turned, half-expecting Atticus, but an
other male guard took up the doorway, pale. He was a muscular fae with callused hands.
“Your Majesty,” he said. “We have word that Vulthus has attacked and killed two of our guards who were searching for Petra. The third guard that was with the group survived. She’s weak from blood loss and in the infirmary now.”
My jaw dropped. Vulthus had turned on Olwen?
Olwen crossed the room and grabbed the guard by his collar. “He killed my guards?” Olwen released the messenger with a shove and stormed out of the room. The guard hurried after Olwen, and I followed. This was a new and strange development. Why turn on Olwen after all this time?
The infirmary was on the other side of the mansion near the entrance to the guards’ barracks, which was a separate building at the side of the house. It was a simple room with several cots and reminded me of the one back at Nocturnal Academy, except for the quiver of arrows and the bow resting on the floor.
A female fae lay in one of the beds, a bandage around her neck. She had jet black hair and looked as pale as death. Slowly, her eyes opened as Olwen stepped closer.
“Sela,” Olwen said. “Is it true that Vulthus attacked you?”
I drew closer. She moved her lips, but no words came out at first. When she tried again, her voice came out as a croak. “Yes. He turned on us without a warning. He drained Vlad and Cassamir and left me clinging to life. I was barely able to return to the mansion.”
“Why did he leave you alive?” Olwen asked in a voice darker than the night.
“He wanted you to know…” Sela swallowed, then took another breath. “He wanted you to know he found out that Onyx is your daughter. He wants revenge for her attacking him and making a fool out of him.”
My insides turned.
“How did he discover this?” Olwen’s power was an angry mass whirling through the room.
“I don’t know, Your Majesty. His spies must’ve followed you or Onyx on one of your outings.”
Olwen whipped around, and I jumped. My ears rang. Because of me, two more fae had died.
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