by Linda Warren
“I guess I was about ten or eleven when I figured out the male and female relationship. When Mom would bring one of her lovers home, I’d sneak out the back door to Nettie’s. I didn’t want to be in the house when she had men over. It made me feel creepy.”
In the silence that followed, he asked, “One of them didn’t…”
“Abuse me?” Shay shook her head. “I was never around them that long, and if one had dared, Nettie would have put a curse on him so strong he’d never be able to function again.”
Chance smiled and Shay’s heart wobbled. That smile could open doors, melt ice and heal the deepest wounds. There was power and magic in his lips. She’d heard Nettie say that once about her late husband and Shay was seeing it now.
With that smile Chance could make her believe in fairy tales, the Easter bunny and Santa Claus.
And just maybe, love.
“A curse?” He lifted an eyebrow.
She raised a shoulder in jest. “Nettie professes to be a gypsy witch, but that’s a whole other story.”
“She’s…different.”
“Yes,” Shay replied, and actually laughed at his careful choice of words.
After all the layers had been peeled away, the potency that was left was real. A lonely, frightened little girl had turned into a strong woman. A survivor. Shay Dumont. Nothing would change that. Her life wasn’t perfect—no one’s was. But it was her life. She’d managed to survive a difficult childhood and she would survive now. That was the honest truth, deep in her heart. Learning about her real father hadn’t changed a thing. She already knew who she was.
“Mom,” Darcy called.
“I’ll be back,” Shay said, getting to her feet. “I have to put my daughter to bed.”
After listening to Darcy’s prayers, she kissed her good-night and hurried back to Chance. He stood in the kitchen, his hat in his hand.
When he saw her, he placed his Stetson on his head and said, “It’s getting late. I better go.”
“Oh.” She didn’t want him to leave. She wanted to explore all these feelings she had when she was with him, even though her heart told her it was dangerous. But after the revelations of today she’d come to see that each day was a gift and a risk. Blanche took risks without hesitation. But could Shay?
“May I ask you a question?” Chance murmured, interrupting her musings.
“Of course,” she replied. His face was set in a neutral mask, but she knew he didn’t feel that way. What did he want to know? She wondered nervously.
“Why didn’t you call me the day you took the DNA test? I gave you my number.”
So that was it. She decided to be honest, because at the moment that was all she could muster. “I thought about it and I wanted to, but I don’t have time to get involved with anyone. My life’s a mess and I have to concentrate on Darcy and her future. I can’t just leave her to go on a date.”
“So you deprive yourself of a life of your own?”
“For now, yes.”
“That’s not normal, Shay, and you know it. If you allowed yourself to have some fun, you’d be better equipped to handle the stress at home.”
“After today I’m not sure about anything.”
He looked straight at her and the darkness of his eyes made her insides quiver with need. “I meant what I said earlier about kissing you. I’ve been attracted to you since pulling you out of that creek. I know you feel the same way. When I first walked in here, your eyes lit up when you saw me. Let’s build on that feeling. I’m not asking a lot—just a simple date.”
The temptation, oh, how sweet it was. All she had to do was say yes, and her life would change. She’d be involved with the one man who could break her heart. And if he knew the truth, she most definitely would break his. She wasn’t like her mother. She couldn’t hurt other people for her own satisfaction.
“I can’t,” she whispered, the words burning her throat. She couldn’t take the risk.
“Fine,” he said in a clipped tone as he walked past her to the front door.
He was leaving, walking out of her life. That thought jarred like no other. The one thing that was good in her life was leaving, and she’d never see him again. But that was the way it should be—no one would get hurt.
Shay wrestled with her conscience. She wrestled with the truth and with her heart. In a few short seconds she understood how she was like her mother. The temptation was too great, the loss too severe. She never thought of herself as a gambler, but was willing to take the risk. It was better than being alone.
“Chance.”
He turned at the door to stare at her. A rash of nervousness hit her, but she didn’t change her mind. She walked closer to him, grabbing her courage in her hands. “Earlier you asked if I was okay.” She swallowed. “I’m not. I need someone to hold me.”
He stretched out his arms and she ran into them. Drawing her body against his, he smoothed his hand up her back to her hair, and weaved his fingers through her tresses. Her hair clip popped off, but neither noticed.
He kissed her neck and she trembled with pleasure, breathing in his masculine scent. “Why are you making this so hard?” he whispered.
It was impossible to think with his lips on her skin, but she tried. “I don’t want Darcy growing up like I did feeling alone and scared because my mother was never there. I have to be here for Darcy so she knows I love her and that she always comes first.”
“She already knows that,” he murmured against her ear. “No matter what you do you’re not going to get parenting exactly right. As far as I can tell no one has mastered it yet. You’re just paranoid because she’s not your biological child.”
“I suppose…” Shay gasped as his lips traveled across her cheek to her mouth, then with fierce need they took hers. She stood on tiptoes and wrapped her arms around his neck, feeling his strength and his power as a man. It was so tempting, so potent that she had no problem giving in to her every impulse. Giving in to Chance. To the inevitable. The kiss deepened in intensity. Emotions, denied too long, came to life, locking them in their own private world.
He rested his forehead against hers. “When can I see you again?” he asked in a hoarse tone, and he seemed to be holding his breath as he waited for her answer.
“I have to buy a car tomorrow. Would you like to come with me?”
“You bet. And maybe we can have lunch.”
“That would be nice.”
He pulled her closer, if that was possible, and kissed her deeply, bracing his back against the wall. She was glad he was holding her or she would have crumpled into a mass of quivering pleasure at his feet. She leaned into him feeling every hard muscle of his lean body. Her senses experienced new delights, but she knew they had to stop. They were reaching a point of no return and they both were aware of it.
“I have to go,” he breathed into her mouth.
“Yes.”
He weaved his fingers through her hair again and held her head. Kissing her one more time, he said, “See you tomorrow.”
“Yes.”
“What time?”
“About ten. I have to turn in the rental, too.”
Again he rested his forehead against hers. “I have to go,” he repeated.
He didn’t move. Not that she wanted him to. But he had to.
As with a child’s toy, she gave him a slight push to get him started. She couldn’t help but laugh. He echoed her laughter and strolled down the walk.
The moonlight cast long shadows across the lawn, engulfing Chance. She watched until his taillights were out of sight. Then the darkness crowded in on her.
As a child she’d been afraid of the dark. It was something she couldn’t define or explain, and seemed to devour everything around her. She had called it the “monster.” Blanche was never too concerned about her phobias. When Nettie had voiced concern, Blanche had said that Shay would outgrow them. And she had. The monster had been slain with maturity.
She went inside and closed the do
or. She didn’t agonize over what had happened with Chance. And she didn’t agonize over what was going to happen tomorrow or the next day. No one knew what life was going to bring. She was betting on happy ever after. Some would say that was like betting on a horse with a broken leg.
But now she was willing to take the risk.
CHAPTER NINE
SHAY WOKE UP EARLY the next morning, as excited as a teenager going on a first date. Last night had been wonderful. Today would be better. Beyond that she wouldn’t think.
Since it was Saturday, she let Darcy sleep in and went to get the paper. Out on the sidewalk she stopped short. A large frog sat in the grass. She peered closer. Was that a toad? Nah, she told herself, and picked up the paper.
Not able to resist, she stopped by the frog again. She looked left and right to make sure no one was watching her, then leaned down and asked, “Sal, is that you?”
The frog croaked deep in its throat and hopped toward Nettie’s house. “You’re going in the right direction. Be nice and she might turn you back.” Shay laughed all the way into the house. It was fun to be silly.
She hurriedly fixed Blanche’s oatmeal and placed it on a tray with coffee, orange juice and a banana. As she opened Blanche’s door, she saw her sitting on the side of the bed.
“I heard someone laughing,” Blanche said.
“That was me being silly.” She placed the food on a TV tray. “Breakfast time.”
“I have to go to the bathroom first.”
“Okay. Do you feel like walking?”
“Yes.” Blanche removed the oxygen from her nose and tried to stand. Shay came to her aid and helped her into the bathroom. Blanche was breathing heavily by the time they walked back, and Shay quickly started the oxygen again.
She placed the tray in front of her mother. “Try to eat as much as you can.” Blanche ate very little these days.
Blanche stirred the oatmeal with a thoughtful look. “Despite our talk last night, you’re very chipper this morning.”
“Being angry and bitter will accomplish nothing. I can’t change the past.”
“You’re Jack’s child to me and I’ll never forgive you for taking that DNA test.”
“That’s a cross I’ll have to bear,” Shay said in a dramatic tone of voice.
“You’re different. You’re not getting angry.” Blanche’s eyes narrowed. “I heard a man’s voice last night. Who was here?”
“Chance Hardin,” Shay replied without hesitation.
“What did he want?”
“Nothing. He just came to see me.”
“Why?”
Shay placed her hands on her hips. “Well, I like him and he likes me. ’Nough said.”
Blanche took a swallow of coffee. “You’re getting in over your head and you know it. Break it off.”
Shay straightened the bed, ignoring her mother’s words. “I’m going to look for a car this morning. Nettie will be here.”
“That old bat. I’m surprised she hasn’t sprouted wings by now.”
“Nettie has been very good to us….”
“Yada, yada, yada.” Blanche waved off her little lecture.
Shay took a deep breath. “Is there anything else you need?”
“Yes,” Blanche retorted. “My rings.”
Not again. Not ever again.
“It should be easy for Mr. Hardin. Judd respects him and will honor his request.”
“They’re material things,” Shay told her. “Why do they mean so much to you?”
“They are a symbol of Jack’s love.”
“Oh, please. From what I’ve learned of the man, he loved no one but himself.”
“Jack was difficult sometimes, but always generous.”
The money again.
“Yes, well, we’re all grateful for that,” she said in a sarcastic tone, and not willing to sink that low, she added, “I have to fix Darcy’s breakfast and get dressed. I’ll be home as soon as I can.”
Blanche pointed a spoon at her. “You tell Nettie I don’t want to hear any gypsy crap, and you might remind her that you’re my daughter—not hers.”
“Pity you didn’t remember that when I was about five, eight, twelve, fifteen….”
“Go away!” Blanche shouted as loudly as she could manage, then broke into a coughing fit.
“Gladly.”
On the way to the kitchen it hit Shay that her mother cared about her, but had never learned how to show it—to accept it. Blanche knew only one kind of love—sexual. She had mastered that, but any type of loving relationship with her daughter or Nettie seemed impossible. Ironically, though, when she needed help Blanche always turned to Shay and Nettie.
Shay put her mother out of her mind and mixed blueberry pancakes for Darcy. It was Saturday’s breakfast—their special time.
“I smell pancakes,” Darcy cried, running into the kitchen in her Barbie pajamas, with Tiny yelping at her feet. In her arms she held an old teddy bear she’d had since she was a baby—a connection to her mother.
Darcy knelt in a chair while Shay placed the food on the table.
“This is our special time, isn’t it, Mommy?”
“Yes, sweetie,” Shay replied, cutting Darcy’s pancakes and slathering them with syrup. “But remember Mommy has to look for a car today?”
“Yeah. I’m gonna stay with Nettie and she’s gonna paint my fingernails and toenails. Can I choose any color?”
“Yes, you may,” Shay answered, downing a mouthful of pancake. “Just don’t let her do anything crazy.”
Darcy munched on a slice of bacon. “Like what?”
“Like dyeing your hair orange.”
“No way.” The girl giggled and syrup ran down her chin. Shay quickly wiped her mouth, as if Darcy were two years old. Sometimes it was hard to curb those motherly impulses. But today Darcy didn’t remind her that she wasn’t a baby.
Shay glanced at the clock. “I have to get dressed or I’m going to be late.”
“Get us a red car without a top,” Darcy suggested.
“I’m not buying a convertible,” she said, carrying dishes to the sink.
“Get one with a Hemi then.”
“Cars don’t have Hemis.”
“Shoot.”
Nettie’s arrival prevented more suggestions, and Shay was relieved.
“I’m sorry about the dishes, Nettie, but I have to run. Everyone has had breakfast.”
“Don’t worry, Herman and I will do them.”
Darcy looked up at Nettie. “Herman’s dead. He can’t wash dishes.”
Sad to say, they had this conversation quite often. Nettie swore on a stack of bibles that she could see her Herman. He was with her at all times.
Darcy held out her arms, grasping at thin air. “Where is he, Nettie? Where?”
“Oh, child, I’m the only one who can see him.”
Darcy snapped her fingers. “Shoot.”
Shay shook her head on the way to her bedroom. This wasn’t normal, but it was as normal as her life would ever get. And Herman didn’t hurt a soul.
Yanking open her closet door, she began to pull out clothes. What was she going to wear? Her hand paused over a pair of sleek black slacks she’d bought at Chico’s and had never worn. Her life called for jeans and T-shirts, and the slacks were a little dressy, but she planned to wear them today. But first she had to put up her hair in hot rollers. After that she slipped on the pants and grabbed a white knit top with three-quarter-length sleeves and a buttoned front.
She was unsure about what shoes to wear and decided on black heels. As she shoved her feet into them, she started taking out the rollers. In less than five minutes she was ready to go.
But first she had to call Chance. She’d memorized the number just in case she lost it. That might have been a dead giveaway about her feelings for him.
“Good morning,” he said, and she sank onto the bed, letting that deep, velvety drawl roll over her. He sounded so good.
“Could you pick me
up at the rental place?” She rattled off the address.
“No problem. Just so you’re not canceling.”
“I’m not canceling.”
“See you in a few minutes.”
Chance clicked off with a smile. He’d almost been afraid to answer—afraid she would cancel. But not today. He reached for his keys as Cadde stomped in. He had a growth of beard, his tie was askew and his hair was standing on end.
“What the hell happened to you?”
Cadde blinked. “Nothing. Why?”
“You look like hell.”
“I’ve been working.”
“All night?” Chance asked.
“What time is it?” His brother squinted at his watch.
“It’s after nine in the morning, you idiot.”
“So? I work late a lot.”
“This isn’t late,” Chance informed him. “This is insane. What was so important that it couldn’t wait until tomorrow?”
“I was going over all of Roscoe’s old leases, leases that Shilah holds the rights to, and to my surprise I found several in the Eagle Ford area. With the new drilling technology we could reenter those plugged wells. Eagle Ford is hot now and if we drill below the Austin Chalk, our dividends could be huge. I just have to get it past the board.”
“Then why aren’t you home talking about this with Jessie? She’s the board member with the power.”
Cadde ignored the question and sank onto the sofa, rubbing his stubbled chin. “I need a shave, a shower and some sleep.”
“But not here,” Chance said in a firm tone. “This is my home for now, and I’d appreciate it if you’d respect my privacy and not storm in here anytime you please. I might have had someone here.”
“Oh.” Cadde ran a hand through his already tousled hair. “The lady with the green eyes? Shay something?”
“Maybe.” The odds of getting Shay to the apartment were slim to rock-bottom nothing. But that didn’t matter. He just enjoyed being with her, and he understood her worries concerning Darcy. He’d never ask her to do anything that would make her uncomfortable.
